It is two in the morning and you cannot sleep. You decide that walking will help you, so you put on your slippers and leave your house. You blink and you find yourself in a Waffle House with a plate of waffles. You finish your waffles, tip, and leave only to find yourself in another Waffle House with another plate of waffles. Is that the same waitress cleaning the counter? You squint, but it’s not her – she’s only vaguely larger and you think the other waitress had braids. You blink. And now she has curls.
“Ban Chick-fil-a!” the gay rights activist proclaim. Their campaign against supporting Chick-fil-a’s homophobic practices succeeds and Chick-fil-a is removed from campus. They return home, overjoyed with their victory, to their hometown of Fayetteville to tell their family. Dinner is Chick-fil-a. Dinner has always been Chick-fil-a.
At a restaurant you ask for a coke. They don’t ask for what kind. It’s always Coca-Cola. You wanted Sprite.
You are late to work and you are stuck in traffic. You turn to the car beside you and you are both angry at the current state of Atlanta traffic. You honk your horn but it cannot be distinguished from the horns of everyone else stuck in traffic and late for work. You look at your watch. It is 3am. And you are late for work.
You see a sign nailed to a tree, proclaiming “Repent.” You are seized by an irresistible urge to go to church. You try to fight back, but you start to want to repent.
You order iced tea. They point you to an old mop bucket with the words “ICeD TEA” scrawled across it in sharpie. You fill a glass. It’s perfectly sweet.
It is 90 degrees and sunny outside. You check your watch. It is 15 til 2. You search your bag for an umbrella for the pre-programmed weather forecast. The weatherman says there’s a scheduled blizzard starting at 2pm, but the weatherman’s always wrong. You feel a raindrop hit your forehead as you open your umbrella. Silly weatherman.
It was NEVER about the chicken! http://huff.to/1mDMj28 “When gays get so angry about a chicken sandwich, it is because Chick-fil-A has given around $5 million to fight to discriminate against us. When we praise brave Eagle Scouts who give up their badges in protest of the Boy Scouts of America’s prejudice, it’s not about scoring political points; it’s because there are kids in dens who are being taught to believe that they are less than equal. When we rant about the pastor who preaches that gays should be thrown into a concentration camp, we scream out of fear. And our fears are justified — in the last seven days, a lesbian in Nebraska was carved with a knife, a gay man in Oklahoma was firebombed, and a girl in Kentucky was kicked and beaten — her jaw broken and her teeth knocked out — while her assailants allegedly hurled anti-gay slurs at her.”
im going to applebees today and im reminded of the time chance was visiting my hometown and we drove by the local applebees he said “applebees is transphobic” unprompted and i was so curious like. is this a chick-fil-a hating gays scenario, like is applebees notoriously transphobic or something? ive never really eaten there so i dont know much about applebees, and now i wanted the Tea, as they say. so i asked him how theyre transphobic and he just looked at me and said “because i dont like it”
remember when the chick-fil-a anti-gay thing was at its peak and LGBT organizations literally all went to chick-fil-a and bought food and kissed their partners… like that’s not how you protest a company. you don’t go out of your way to spend your money on the company you’re protesting