chic flics

MBTI Types as Shit My ENFJ Father Says

ESFJ: *looks at a squirrel* “Haha.  He’s small.  And funny.  He makes me laugh.”

ISFJ: *curls up in a ball while watching a chic-flic* “I’m not crying, I just…. I dropped my keys…..”

ENFJ: *whenever I look sad* “What’s wrong, sad panda?”

INFJ: “Do NEVER enter a derelict spaceship.”

ESTJ: *stuck in traffic* “What is this pandemic of people nOT GOING ON GREEN??!!!”

ISTJ: *as grandma shoves a crapton of food at him* “Oh my god mom, I just wanted a sandwich!!”

ENTJ: *sees a kitten* WHY IS HE SO SMALL??!  IT PISSES ME OFF!!!”

INTJ: “Let’s play a game.  It’s called ‘I HATE you’.”

ESFP: “Hey, do you want 98 pickles?”

ISFP: *pouting* “I wish I was a king cobra.  Then no one would mess with me.”

ENFP: “What if I was just a head attached to a bunch of wires???”

INFP: *casually looks through pics of Keanu the kitten on his phone while waiting for the police to come pick up kids he caught shoplifting in his store*

ESTP: “Did you know that the Greenland shark can hunt you on land??”

ISTP: “I’m like a ghost…. You just got ghosted.”

ENTP: “Once someone calls you ‘McBitch’, there’s no recovering from that…”

INTP: “Picking a favorite child is like watching cartoons.”