smelling everything and then getting a headache. you can’t tell if this one lotion smelled any different than the other one you were holding. better sniff again and get another headache
this converts into that! and that! and this! and that! it’s also A NEW CAR!
“Lady Killer” onesies. everything for boys is centred around heterosexuality. get me out of here. where am i. where is the exit
do you want this in Regular or Pink?
everything is chevron print. you look down. you are suddenly wearing chevron print.
Boob Harnesses That Cost More Than Your Rent
finding something gender-neutral and almost starting to cry
this will last your baby 80 Y E A R S. They Will Grow Old With It
Owls Are Suddenly Feminine. Boys Like Turtles. Why This
buy your baby a chandelier
i don’t know what this product does but it’s cute so i’m buying 4
everything Has To Match
what the fuck is a receiving blanket? who cares. it’s $3
this plays music. that plays music. you, also, play music
nothing comes in red for some reason, unless it’s a Play Gym
N is suddenly a number. when did i get transported back to 8th grade algebra. i don’t know where i am. someone Please Help Me.
justifying paying $500 for a crib. you don’t end up using the crib.
crib bumpers aren’t safe. you see some Safe Crib Bumpers. you question what you read. you read the price tag. you stop questioning it and move along
Why Do Babies Need Socks
the box assumes you’re a straight, married, cis woman for no reason. a lot of products assume this. you wonder if buying it will be violating some Ancient Mother’s Code.
someone randomly comes up to you to judge you. you wonder if you initiated the conversation. it is not a conversation. they just want to stare as you pick something out. you leave. they catch up with you a few aisles later and repeat the same thing over and over again. they never say hello. who are they?
you keep hearing a large body of customers echoing somewhere. you are alone in each aisle.
a toy offers to teach your baby spanish. you live in a country where spanish is not a language you even need to learn. it still wants to teach them spanish
baby fork. baby spoon. no baby knife. why no baby knife?
Register The Baby
the clerk looks like she never wants children. you’re not sure she’s going to make it through the shift. you gently tell her “debit, please”