With each breathe that falls
I had @winemomseokjin for the Valentine Exchange and I wrote you a little Taekook fic for it. I hope you like it and have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!
Summary: There are days where Jungkook needs a hug―or really anything to distract him from his thoughts.
Jungkook’s limbs feel as though the bond has been encased in metal; cold, heavy, as though he is merely an object instead of an individual.
As of late he’s been feeling very out of place. It’s been harder to concentrate on his assignments, interact with people without feeling this nagging in his head that screams, your problems are of no concern. Jungkook knows he gets into these moods sometimes, but this time it seems different. He can’t quite name what but he’s certain something is.
Once he is witching safe falling distance of his bed Jungkook lets his body become weightless and be cradled by the soft cotton of his comforter.
Taehyung is in the room too. His fingers are tapping away on his phone as a somewhat lulling tone swallows the room from whatever game he’s playing. That’s normal the quiet noise of Taehyung playing, breathing, moving.
Jungkook appreciates it, he really does. Right now after a week of struggling to figure out what the fuck is wrong with him Jungkook needs something normal. It won’t give him the answers he needs, but it will give him solace.
“Tae,” It comes out far more watery and lost than Jungkook meant for it to. He doesn’t want to make his problem known because he needs to figure this out on his own.
There is a shuffle of fabric, then comforting, indulging heat pressed to his back as a gossamer touch pets at his hip in an attempt to soothe Jungkook.
It’s pathetic how easy it is for Taehyung to see right through him no matter how hard Jungkook tries and tries and tries to bottle things up until even he doesn’t believe his struggles are real. This is what Jungkook thinks. Since all he wants is to learn how to deal with things on his own.
Nails draw on the skin of his stomach just above the band of his pants. “Yeah, what’s wrong, Kookie?” It’s soft yet steady near his ear and Jungkook feels himself start to relax.
His fingers curl with Taehyung’s own as the older presses a kiss just under Jungkook’s jaw murmuring out, Shh, it’s okay. I’m here you can tell me anything on the last one he places on the base of Jungkook’s neck.
A small smile twitches on Jungkook’s mouth as Taehyung reassures him. He wants to deal with this on his own, but maybe just this once he can admit that he doesn’t know and that he can’t figure out a solution on his own.
“I-I don’t know.” It comes out rushed but it’s the truth even though he doesn’t wish to admit it because Jungkook doesn’t understand why he feels like this. “I just can’t concentrate and I keep messing up and I can’t do anything right!”
It’s not loud, but his heart clenches in his chest as though he did shout and his fingers are shaking as they tangle with Taehyung’s and Jungkook hates this. He’s stupid for this―for feeling like this.
Taehyung noses at the younger’s neck, arms cooking around Jungkook’s middle pulling him close. “That’s okay. You don’t need to know why you feel bad,” He’s trying to keep his voice low, soothing―reassuring. “Sometimes people just have an off week or day and that’s fine.”
During the moment of time Taehyung takes to breathe Jungkook shifts in his hold so that he can face Taehyung, his nest of chestnut hair tucked under Taehyung’s chin.
“You’re not doing anything wrong―”
“I am. I can’t concentrate on my notes, everything looks messy and jumbled. I’m not doing well in practice, I keep missing moves or messing up positions. I am doing everything wrong, Taehyung.” It’s watery and his cheeks feel warm. Whether it’s from anger or embarrassment Jungkook isn’t certain.
Fingers tangle in his hair, petting in long, slow strokes and Jungkook feels himself hiccup out a whimper of sound, his eyes screwing shut as Taehyung rests his head against Jungkook’s own.
“I can’t say you’re perfect,” Taehyung starts still calm and so so comforting that Jungkook starts to realize that, god he’s such as mess in comparison. “Because no one is and that won’t help. Telling you that you’re doing perfect will make you push and push and push until you fall. I don’t want that―and I know you don’t either, Jungkook.”
He inhales deeply the calm thump of his heart working to ease Jungkook nerves. “But you’re trying. That’s not messing up that’s getting back up on your feet and not giving up. You’re doing everything you can, Jungkook."Despite what you think or feel, it’s okay to mess up. Everyone does.” Gently Taehyung pulls away before dotting a kiss to each of Jungkook’s eyelids, his nose, then finally one chaste and soft to the younger’s mouth as his hands cradle Jungkook’s face. “You’re having a rough time, but that’s okay, you’re trying and you matter.”
It feels as though all the air in Jungkook’s lungs has been stolen, but somehow he feels lighter.
His mouth starts to open as nails stroke over his skin in nonsensical patterns. “I―Thank you. I just wanted to hide everything and hope that I would get over it.”
The smile he gets is beautiful and bright. “Jungkook, I’m proud of you for admitting that because I know it’s hard. So thank you.”
Taehyung places another kiss on Jungkook’s face, revealing how proud he is and that he hopes Jungkook will come to him or anyone else Jungkook trusts if he feels like this again. It earns this smile that grows from brittle to string as the older tells Jungkook that he doesn’t need to tell them anything if he doesn’t wish to. All Taehyung wants is for Jungkook to realize that they’re there for him―that Taehyung is there for him―and that he and everyone else just wants Jungkook safe.
Thank you. For this…for everything.“
Taehyung just smiles and dips down to kiss Jungkook’s again before holding him tight.