cherry hat

I swear fanfictions changed how I look at normal books forever. Like if I read a normal book after reading fanfictions, I would be so bored, and be like “Where’s the drama? Where’s the smut? Where’s the never ending pool of sadness? WHERE IS IT?!?
This is boring as heck”

I need Sister Daniel to cleanse my soul now.

I made the decision to read The Hat Fic, The Hat Fic 2, The Skin Fic, The Skin Fic 2, The Chair Fic Prequel, The Chair Fic, The Chair Fic 2, The Milk Fic, The Custard Fic, The Placenta Fic, The Cherry Fic, and The Kitten Fic….

*takes a deep breath to compose self*

May the Lord have mercy on my soul and cleanse it.

I read all of the main fics today and now I’m traumatized

Milk fic? Check.

Lung fic? Check. (that doesn’t even have anything to do with phan I have no clue how I ended up there)

Cherry fic? Check. (that was the worst of all help)

Hat fic? Check. 

Skin fic? Check.

Chair fic? Yeah, check. 

I need help now.

I really do.

i love it when people don’t tell me something or do something bc I'm “too innocent”

yes i am too innocent. so fucking innocent. you have no idea I’m so innocent. but hey lets talk about something like idk the hat fic. oh u never heard of it? well it’s this one short story about two men and one of them buys a hamster so the other one kills it and fucks the first one USING THE FUCKING ANIMAL CARCASS and then eats the dead hamster body. how about the chair fic? well in that one one of the guys has a chair that makes all his desires come true and his roommate becomes submissive and must do whatever the first one says  AND THE FIRST ONE PUTS A SNAKE IN THE OTEHR’S ASS. or maybe the cherry fic? milk fic? kittens and steamrollers? the placenta fic? the skin fic? yes. as you can tell, i am too fucking innocent. so, so, so, so, so innocent

The Backpack Fic

“Ahhh, morning babe.” Dan said as he walked bare footed into the kitchen. Phil was standing there, still in pajamas and socks, cooking breakfast.

“Good morning D-slice.”
“Phillllllllllll, don’t call me that.”
“Yeah uh huh, I know I’m still your Angel Bean.”
“Eh. What are you making?”
“Pancakes. Do you want?”
“Oh yes please.”

Dan grabbed a plate from the cupboard and held it out. Phil flipped the pancake onto the plate for his boyfriend.

“There you go. Just grab the syrup from the fridge, mkay?”

Dan proceeded to take the syrup out of the refrigerator for Phil and him. Shortly, Phil sat down next to him on the bar stools.

“So, you like the pancakes? I can flip them now. DOUBLE FLIPPPPSSSS.”
“Haha, yeah Phil they’re great. Thank you.”

Dan gave a sticky kiss to Phil who took another bite of his pancake. Phil was nearly done with his meal when Dan got up to wash his dirty plate.

“Would you like some more?”
“No thank you. I’m off to freshen up for later." 

Today was the first Monday of the month, which meant they would have to go to BBC Radio 1 for The Internet Takeover later that day. Somehow, Phil was dreading going today. He absolutely wouldn’t mind not going. Maybe another Monday would’ve been better for him this month. Why didn’t he want to go? He wasn’t quite sure himself. He did know however that he didn’t want Dan to go either, but his flat mate wouldn’t give in to anything that would mean he didn’t do the radio show. Once a month, he could do it.
No. This month he could not.

Phil hopped off his stool and washed his plate. Dan was already inside his room. No, showering in the bathroom. He’s showering now, and Phil was stood in the middle of the kitchen. He walked to his room and began to undress. He slipped his shirt off and put on a plaid one. He slid his pants and underwear down. For a while, he stared at his dick, bare to the oxygen around it. He grabbed it, and tug at it. Instantly he felt himself stiffen and get harder. He jacked his hand again and again. Phil moaned in pleasure from the contact on his penis.

In a matter of four minutes, he had made himself cum. The semen flowed over his fingers and bedsheets. He tore the articles off his bed but left his boner bare. Phil walked with them to the washer/dryer bit in the house. His penis hit the edge of the washer as he dropped the duvet and sheets in and set it to start. The machine buzzed warmly against his cock. He moaned again but quickly pulled himself away from it, careful not to pleasure himself too much and have Dan hear him.

Hmm.. Daniel. The water had stopped a while ago and he was probably drying himself off in his room. Now the real question is, clothed or not?


Phil walked to Dan’s room and knocked politely on the door. Dan scrambled to put a towel around his waist and run to the door, curious on what Phil was interrupting him for.

He opened the door for Phil and looked down to be set with an eyeful of dick. He almost audibly said,"Crappu” before he told Phil, “JESUS PHIL, PLEASE put on some pants. You can’t be running ‘round half naked.”

Phil felt his boner start to return at the sight of Dan in a towel. Maybe this is what he wanted. Not to do his work and instead do Dan. Yes. He will do Dan. BBC doesn’t mean anything now compared to how much determination Phil has for fucking Dan senseless.

“Wowie Phil, please take it down a notch. We have to go do the radio show soon.”
“No Dan, we don’t. I’m not going.”
“No? Phil, why not? Are you okay?”
“Dan, I’d rather shove my dick up that cute little butt of yours than go to that drab radio show.”
“Drab? I thought you liked it. And you want to have sex? Phil, not right now. Please.”
“Dan. No. You, me, bed. Now.”
“Phil, I said no. Maybe later, but we have to do the show…. Why don’t you like the show anymore?”
“I pretend I’m someone I’m not. Dan, I’m not as innocent as you think I am AND I’m definitely not as innocent as they think I am.”
“Phily, I know you’re not that innocent. I mean really, what about all those nights we had?”
“Daniel, that’s not what I mean.”
“Daniel? Anyways, please just get dressed. Get ready to go. I’m going to the show either way, and maybe then, after it I will let you "fuck my cute ass.”

Phil scrunched his face up in anger. He wanted more than anything to shove his hard, thick length in Dan’s tiny hole. He wanted penetration, sensation. Maybe Phil even wanted something else more than just fucking. No. He definitely wanted something more than fucking.

He exasperatedly threw his hands down to his sides and stomped to his room. Slamming the door, he got dressed in clothes. He got his “Internet News” glasses and his charged phone.  Dan had the backpack of stuff they would need, holding the scripts, songs they would play, snacks, and other nonsense and such in it.

“C'mon Phil. Let’s go.”
“Ugh.” Phil put on his jacket and grabbed he keys. Dan, backpack over shoulders and jacket on, walked out the door to leave. Phil turned off the lights in the flat and exited also, turning back to close the door and lock it so no intruders invaded.

“Dan, I don’t want to go.”
“Phil, this is our responsibility and we need to. The fans don’t ask us much really and it’s our obligation to give them what they deserve.”
“I want you.”
“You have me.”
“Not like that. I want your body on mine right now.”
“You’re still on that?”
“Yes, very.”
“No Phil. We have the show. That’s that. Maybe even later. Now, let’s get a cab to take us to the studio.”
“Dan. I’m not going.”
“Yes you are, Philip.”
“I am not, Daniel.”
“Stop being annoying, Phil.”
“Stop being a prude, Dan.”
Phil took it way too far to Dan. Very, very upset, he replied, “Stop being a horny ass little shit and do the show now, Phil.” He said the name with venom, disgust almost.

“And I thought I’d take care of your problem for you later tonight after the program. Phil, I’ve had enough for now, let’s just do the show and be over with it.” Dan signaled a cab to pull over and let them in. He turned to make sure Phil went in first and entered after. Phil didn’t look at Dan once, eyes directed strictly at the city around him through the window.

In a matter of about 15 minutes the both of them reached their destination. Dan paid and exited, waiting for the other stubborn man to exit the car. With a sigh he did, and then speed walked fast past Dan. He pushed open the glass doors of BBC and breathed, putting on a mask to cover his true emotions. He pretended to be the bubbly, happy Phil everyone knew and loved. The sunshine. The angel bean. The smol bean dad everyone thought they knew and not that monster of a horny man-child who’s too stubborn to recognize responsibility straight away.

Dan also pretended to act normally, as if he and his boyfriend hadn’t just started an argument. What had got Phil like that anyways? Dan lifted the backpack off his shoulder and set it down, taking the contents out and putting his headphones on. Almost time to begin, he began to ready the radio programs and get his script ready. He looked over to Phil, who still wasn’t having having to be at Radio 1.

“Phil, at least act proper for the filming.”
“Oh I will.”
“So… Act proper now!”
“Dan, we are not filming yet. I am so far not obligated to speak to or be nice to you, you ass.”
“Ass? Why are you calling me an ass, mate? Just because I know my responsibilities and you don’t doesn’t mean you have the right to be a dick to me.”
“I wish you had a dick for me. I was ready earlier, Dan.”
“That doesn’t matter now. Now hurry on back over here, it’s about to start.”

Dan and Phil did the show as normally as they could. Everyone watching bought the act, but the both of them knew inside that going home after would not be fun at all.

When the time came to wrap up the show and leave, Dan gulped in his throat. He wasn’t ready to face a mad Philip Michael Lester just yet. He put his things back in his black backpack. His Mikasa keychain dangled from one of the side zippers. He examined it thoughtfully, it was a gift of Phil’s. Back when they were together more often and we’re comfortable being constantly around each other. That was a fun time. Phil was the person people saw him ass. Cute. Adorable. Loveable. Lately, he’s been cranky a bunch. Really, what has gotten into him?

Dan continued to question Phil mentally until the man himself reminded Dan that they could leave the studio finally. Dan knew Phil’s physical behavior was different from his normal’s, but no one else knew him like Dan did and couldn’t see past the pretending. Dan had all his things packed, he was just squatting in the corner of the studio hoping that somehow stalling would prevent them from going home and having to deal with their argument. He doesn’t like being in bad terms with his boyfriend, for he loved him for everything he was.

Phil coughed loudly to get Dan’s attention to tell him he really wanted to go. People would get suspicious if they didn’t go outside together, as the majority of BBC’s workers all knew about their relationship. Dan mustered his courage and slung the backpack over his shoulder. There really wasn’t much of a need to have it, he just preferred not carrying anything in his hands and he thought he would get stereotypical and harshly rude comments that he was “gay” if he had a purse or bag. They both had their jackets on when they left their studio and walked out the BBC building. They hailed a taxi and both got in, except this time Phil sat away from Dan in the passenger seat.

Phil told the driver their flat’s address and sat in silence, once again staring out the window.

“Are you lot in a dispute of sorts? It seems you care about eachother, and it would be a shame to break yourselves up because of a problem.” The young cab driver told them. He really had no business in meddling with Dan and Phil’s business.
“Don’t worry, we won’t break up. Maybe someone will be broken after, but it’ll be over eventually.”, said Phil.

Dan gave Phil the most confused look he could muster. The cab driver shrugged and continued to drive to their destination. All of Dan’s thoughts were completely questioning what Phil had just said. However, he was very relieved that they wouldn’t break up according to Phil. He loved him, despite the cranky moments. It’s not possible for men to PMS, is it? Dan hoped not as that was the number one thought coursing through his head.

“Here we are. Have a good day you two, be good to each other.” Phil paid this time as Dan stepped out the car. He’d closed his door already, so he didn’t hear the statement Phil made to the cab driver that made the man make the most shocked and scared face Dan had ever seen a stranger wear. What had he said?

“Phil, what’d you say to him?”
“I didn’t say anything, Dan. Let’s go inside our flat.”

Dan and Phil didn’t talk to each other as they walked up the stairs and then into their flat. Phil shut the door behind Dan almost roughly, as Dan noticed. The younger man did a good job of not showing how much he was dreading that moment or of how utterly terrified of Phil he was then.

Dan gulped before turning and saying, “Phil.”
“Look, I-”
“Phil it’s fine. Really. You just had a moment and it’s okay.”
“You’re saying it’s okay to have moments like that?”
“I guess? I don’t know.”
“Oh, well I’m having that moment still.”
“Um, Phil…”
“Oh Dan.”

Phil began to inch closer to Dan. Dan backed up and set his backpack down on the table. He didn’t want to have sex with Phil after his petty little situation earlier. Maybe if he hadn’t been a brat earlier about going to work, Phil would’ve gotten what he wanted. Dan kept this in mind, trying to stay focused on not giving in to Phil. Subconsciously he knew how hot Phil’s ruffled fringe was when he got mad and ran his hands through his hair.

Phil kept approaching Dan until the younger man backed into the wall. Dan tried to angle himself so that he wouldn’t be stuck, cornered even, by Phil. The elder noticed and pinned his boyfriend down using his right hand. His left hand went to the wall next to Dan’s right hip.

“Phil, please don’t”

Phil didn’t care what Dan wanted now. He focused on what he wanted, what was for him. He smashed his face to Dan’s, his lips pushing passionately onto the other man’s. His tongue slithered out of his mouth and ran over Dan’s lips. The younger didn’t give in. He didn’t kiss back nor did he open his mouth. Phil noticed and began to hungrily nibble the other man’s lips, getting Dan to moan and letting Phil slip his tongue in the open mouth so that he had to keep his partially open. Despite keeping Phil’s brattiness in mind, Dan submitted to Phil and roughly kissed him back. By now they were eating each other’s faces off practically with the way their mouths hungrily went at each other’s.

Phil grabbed Dan’s hip in his left hand now, squeezing it and brining it closer to him. Phil left Dan’s mouth for his neck. Phil was the only person Dan ever let come into contact with his neck.

Phil’s teeth attacked the flesh on Dan’s neck. He fully bit into Dan despite it not being sexy and hurting a lot. “Phil, that hurts. Not the good way either… OW!” Phil stopped biting Dan as hard and used his mouth to salivate over the teeth marks. He decided he would leave other marks, marks of purple, blue, and red. Phil left hickeys all over Dan’s neck, causing the man to moan like hell because his skin was highly sensitive.

“Phil, oh oh oh ohhhhhh yes Phillllllll”
“Dan”, Phil whispered in his ear. “Turn around.”

Dan obeyed quickly, turning to face the wall. Phil shoved Dan’s lower torso clothes down, along with his own. His dick was throbbing and aching, ready for penetration. Dan’s tiny hole was in sight, obviously not ready for Phil’s size, but Phil didn’t care as he shoved himself in Dan without warning or preparation. Dan literally screamed as he felt his skin tear. “Phi-Phil please. Use… Lube…”
“I don’t need lube.” Phil said as his right hand wandered to Dan’s cock and grabbed it tightly at the shaft. Dick sitting idly in Dan, Phil twisted and pushed his hand up Dan over and over again. While giving the hand job he licked up and down Dan’s spine as far as he could go without taking his dick out. In nearly five minutes, Dan came into Phil’s hand. Phil had made sure to catch it all. Dan was ready to rest after the handjob and kisses alone. However, Phil pulled out of Dan and lathered the cum on his own dick. Completely moist, he pushed back into his boyfriend, despite him clearly being done.

“Ah ah Phil~”

Dan moaned as Phil gave absolutely no mercy to him as he thrusted in and out as hard as he could. Dan was done, he’d already ejaculated from stimulation. His body began to ache as Phil went in and out, in and out. Dan’s erection was probably the hardest it’s ever been, despite him needing to stop the sex.

“Phil~ please, st-stop. It hurrrts.”

Phil didn’t reply as he kept going. Almost impossibly, he went faster and harder. His body moved quicker and rougher, smacking onto Dan’s raw flesh each time he pushed in. He came inside Dan, who was almost too weak to hold himself up.

“Clench it all. If you let it spill I swear you won’t see the end of this.”
“Phil.. I-i can’t. I’m-I-im too sore, Phil. Please.”
“No, Dan hold it all in.”
“B-but I can’t!” Dan said, as he couldn’t hold longer and let all of the substance slide out of him.
“PHIL I COULDN’T, please it’s not my fault you overworked me. My body is so sore.”
“NOT SORE ENOUGH, I SAID YOU WOULDN’T SEE THE END OF THIS AND YOU WON’T” Phil’s mind told him to grab the pen that was on the glass coffee table and stab Dan’s eyeball. Phil didn’t want to. A part of him knew he shouldn’t, yet he was awakened from his thoughts once Dan screamed in absolute pain, worse than before. Phil blinked and realized his hand was around the pen in Dan’s eyeball. He pulled the pen out, tearing the eye from its socket and out in the open. Phil felt every single vein, artery, and tissue be torn apart, be crumpled under the pen when it pierced through and pulled the eye out. He dropped it on the floor.

“Phil.. Wh-why?”
“You know what, Dan? I told you. I warned you this would happen. You brought this upon yourself and now you’re to blame.” Phil told Dan this in a tone that made Dan actually feel guilt, as if it was his fault.

“Ph-Phil I.”

Phil punched Dan in the stomach and then pushed him down onto the floor. His foot hit the edge of the backpack Dan had set on the table. The eye socket had turned an achey blueish purple and began to swell. You could see where exactly it had been torn, and your finger could circle around where the eyeball used to lay. Blood poured out of the socket in massive streams all over Dan’s face and cheek. Phil’s finger caressed Dan’s bloody face. He massaged it softly with his fingers, almost feeling bad. Almost.

Phil pushed his lips to Dan’s and then punched him again in the ribs. Dan cried out in pain as he heard a sickening crack come from his side. He felt a few ribs inside of him break, be torn apart. His guts felt like they were being penetrated, as if the bones had shattered inside of him and dug into various organs and such near the rib cage and diaphragm.

“Stop making noise, Jamesy. Only pleasure.” Phil told the man under him. Phil stripped Dan of all his clothes. He then got naked himself, still having a raging boner. Quickly Phil ran to his room and got the whips he had been saving for their anniversary. Dan used his hands to feel around his ribs, checking to see if they were broken. He winced, once his finger pressed on the spot where bone was broken, but he saw through his remaining eye that Phil was approaching.

“I heard that.” Phil told Dan menacingly. He cracked the whip in the air and then smacked it down as hard as he could on Dan. The younger man yelled in pain when he was hit, quickly regretting making the noise when Phil struck him 10 more times on his ribs. Dan could quickly feel his stomach’s skin cut and scratch, and soon bleed. His epidermis layers tore filling Dan with much pain. Phil kept going, moaning and laughing every now and then. He stopped soon enough however, partially to let Dan settle but mainly so that he could empty the contents in the backpack next to him. All the items spilled out of it and onto Dan’s freshly cut skin, which made the man almost shriek from the further irritation. His eye had begun to clot and Dan reached up to feel if the eyeball was truly gone from the socket. Sure he couldn’t see from that region, but surely Phil wouldn’t remove his eyeball, he thought wrong.

Part of Dan wanted to reply sarcastically with, “you never told me I couldn’t” but he knew there would be extremely painful consequences in that situation. Dan pulled his hand down instead but didn’t reply.
“I ASKED YOU A QUESTION AND I EXPECT YOU TO ANSWER.” Phil lashed Dan’s neck with the whip, not only causing great pain but also blocking Dan from breathing in that minute. Suddenly, breathing became a difficult task for him.
“Oh, poor baby can’t breathe now. I suspect you couldn’t talk either. What’s the point of being able to talk if you won’t use it, huh D-slice? How about I just make sure you can’t talk for sure?” He walked to the kitchen to open the drawer that held the shears that are to be used for cutting chicken. Shears in hand, he walked to his boyfriend and cut off his tongue. The loose tongue flinched for a second once it was disconnected and flopped onto the floor. Dan’s mouth filled with the usual soothing taste of blood, but nothing about his situation was soothing. Phil then used the edge of the scissor to make an incision on Dan’s neck. He pushed his finger through the cut and into Dan’s neck, grabbing Dan’s vocal cords and ripping them out. The sound alone of them breaking was enough to make Dan queasy, however he got the pain with it also, feeling every layer of cartilage and tissue connected to the vocal cords snap inside his neck. He felt no different after the harsh pain from it had subsided. He couldn’t breathe nearly as easily but he was still alive. Dan opened his mouth in an attempt to see if his vocal cords were really gone, and no intelligible noise came through. Dan did in fact feel the empty vibration in his throat when he tried.

Dan’s pink and bloody vocal cords in hand, Phil pushed the gloop of them to his face. His tongue extended out to caress them, in front of Dan’s face. He put the edge of one inside his mouth and slurped them as if they were spaghetti and he was Papyrus. You could hear him gag when they passed through his throat, the sound of the contractions in his trachea as they passed through, slimy and moist. Phil moaned in Dan’s ear, his fingers pushing around in Dan’s mouth. He pushed his fingers behind where the tongue used to be, feeling the uvula as Dan gagged. Phil tugged at it and then used his nail to dig into the tonsils on the side of it. He pulled his hand out of the mouth as Dan began to cough and nearly choke on his saliva. His mouth was bleeding in bigger amounts now, this time an added source of flow being his tonsils. Phil cackled at Dan’s misery, the younger man spitting out blood and letting it spill from his mouth to the floor.

Phil looked down back to Dan’s chest and pushed the various objects off him, while the younger man lifted his neck so that he would not choke on the blood from his mouth as he was laid down. Perhaps choking would have been a better choice for Dan as Phil then grabbed the large watermelon knife from the kitchen and walked back to Dan. He laid the knife on the floor next to him as he grabbed the back pack and started tugging at himself so that he would come inside of the backpack. Once he did, he tug at Dan also, mixing his cum into the bag also. Dan squeezed his eye shut as much as he could then, careful not to breathe roughly and cause pain to his broken rib cage. Blood spilled from his mouth in spiller amounts still, and Phil caught the remaining liquids in the back pack. Phil used his knife now to cut Dan’s dominant left hand off. The younger opened his mouth in the pain he was experiencing, trying to scream and have someone hear he was in trouble. Dan didn’t want to think it would get worse, but obviously he wasn’t watching Phil who was collecting the blood from his hand in the backpack. Phil even grabbed the hand and caressed Dan with it.

“Dan, get in the backpack.”
Dan opened his eye to look at Phil, but didn’t budge.
“I SAID, get in the backpack.”

Dan looked down to see the backpack that had been filled with semen and blood. He knew he wouldn’t fit but he stood up to his best ability and stepped in it. The pool inside it threatened to spill out as Dan began to crouch, despite the immense pain he was in, in the back pack.

Dan began to wheeze realizing that he wouldn’t be able to fit. He looked to Phil with the best plea-face he could muster. Breathing was getting better but it was still difficult for him.
“Yeah you’re right. You won’t fit. Let’s make you fit.”

Phil lifted Dan out of the backpack with his hands under Dan’s armpits. Dan would’ve bawled at the pain he was feeling due to his ribs being touched, but his left eye duct had been pulled away with the eyeball. Some tears did fall out of his remaining eye however, and fell from his sunken face onto Phil’s shoulder. The other man was too absorbed to notice because he had laid Dan back down onto the floor and got the watermelon knife again. Dan saw him reach for the knife and moved his leg to push Phil’s arm. He realized the big mistake he had made once Phil punched him in the ribs again, crushing some more in he cage. The “sunshine”, as everyone called him, reached for the backpack again and chopped at Dan’s upper thigh. The bone was horribly difficult to cut at the leg, so Phil got the hammer from his tool case and kept smashing at Dan’s bones once the flesh and skin around them had been cut off. The bones shattered at where Phil had been hitting and Phil pulled two human legs away from its previous body. He pushed the backpack to where the legs used to be in an attempt to collect the blood that had been spilling. He left it there gathering the blood that flowed out in tremendous amounts. Phil threw the legs across the room using his strength and looked back to see Dan in a fantastic shape. Dan’s face was pale and he looked like he was in utter pain. He felt horribly nauseous also, and could tell he was bleeding internally where his ribs were. Slowly from the immense pain he was feeling, Dan felt himself drift away from the cruel world he was in. His eyes shut closed as he heard Phil laugh, but saw a face flash at him in an utter apologetic look.


Dan awoke with the sunlight in his eyes. He truly felt sore all over. For some reason he felt a sharp pain when he sighed, knowing he’d have to wake up fully and get out of bed. He stayed still for a second, figuring out that the only thing on his agenda for today is his YouNow liveshow much later today, as it was Tuesday. He opened his eyes. No, wait. He wasn’t closing his other eye. He couldn’t see out of his left eye. Why not? Why couldn’t he see out of his left eye?

Dan’s memory of the previous day flowed through his mind. He couldn’t see out of the eye because there was no eye. He looked down to see if his legs were truly gone, instead of even seeing his torso, he saw a backpack. Still warm, crusty liquid flowed around Dan’s actual torso inside the backpack. He tried to wriggle his nonexistent arms. They were gone to.

“Ahh, you’re awake.” Phil told Dan from the couch. He walked up to the backpack housing Dan. The younger was inside it, in the liquids and zipped up so that his head only peaked out from the top. Dan felt so sore in the pack. He gave Phil a look of plea, to stop whatever he was going to next do. Dan no longer had limbs whatsoever and all he could see was from the perspective of a backpack.

“How do you like your new home, Jamesy?”
Dan shook his head.

Phil didn’t say anything back. Instead he walked over to Dan in the backpack. He picked up the heavy knapsack and put it over his shoulders.

Dan shook his body very hard, trying to wriggle away from Phil somehow. His torso bounced around the edges of the backpack, his rib cage getting hit. To Dan, it felt like a pro wrestler was punching his sides, while at the same time, a taloned bird was clawing at the walls and flesh of his inside. Occasionally the “bird” would dig his beak into Dan’s organs, sending a hole new wave of hurt through Howell.
“And what do you think you are going to be able to do, moving around?”, said Phil sarcastically.

Dan had truly been defeated. Phil threw the backpack across the room, sending Dan to hit his head on the wall. His head started bleeding harshly and he had a massive migraine now. Phil picked up Dan’s limbs and taunted Dan with them.

“So do you miss these?”

Dan didn’t show any emotion.

Dan nodded, unable to physically speak. His thoughts however, were running all over the place. They were limited, as the little left of his body wanted to shrivel up and turn to ash to soothe itself, never able to accomplish escaping from its fiery and hellish confinements of utter pain and torture, caused by the man who once treated it all right, made everything better.
“Good. You know what I miss?”
Dan gave Phil a puzzled look, careful not to express his evident pain.
“That pretty little dick of yours. Isn’t it lonely in there? I can take care of it for you, BUT OF COURSE YOU COULDN’T TAKE CARE OF MINE.”

Phil pushed the backpack down flat onto the floor. He grab the blood-crusted watermelon knife from the floor and unzipped the backpack, letting Dan’s head and torso free from its encasing. Not like Dan could move anyhow, but he was now free from the mixture inside. Phil grabbed hold of Dan’s dick. He put it in his mouth and bobbed his head up and down from the shaft, deep throating it greatly. He guided his hands up and down it at the same time, feeling the penis’ tissue fill with blood and become erect. Dan’s body shook in some degree of pleasure, despite the short happiness from his torturer.

“Oh yes. Ooh oh yes, Daniel Danny yes mmm ah baby ah.” Phil expressed his feelings verbally.

Dan’s mind wanted to moan loud enough for the Queen of England to hear. Of course, he couldn’t. Absorbed in the moment, Dan forgot his pain in his ribs or the fact that he no longer had any limbs and was now just a torso and head.

“Oh yes baby, thank you” The vibrations of Phil’s vocal cords around Dan’s dick sent a good sensation up Dan’s body. He shivered and pushed his hips up further in Phil’s mouth.

Phil continued to suck and nibble delectably up and down Dan’s length. Dan’s breaths turned to pants as dick got painfully hard, reminding him of the recurring pain from his still broken ribs. He remembered the gruesome look of his tongue flopping around once separated from his body, spreading blood everywhere. The deep gashes from the whip lay on his stomach too. Once Phil realized Dan had faltered to express pleasure in his facial expressions, he took the knife and stabbed Dan’s right testicle.

Dan made a gargling noise. He didn’t want more pain. Hell, he didn’t want any more handjobs or blowjobs ever. More than anything right now, he either wanted to call an ambulance and get the shit away from Phil or die. Either would suffice, although the latter option seemed optimal. In that way, he’d never have to endure this again.

“DON’T YOU DARE MAKE NOISE” Phil yelled at Dan. The knife dragged into Dan’s penis and cut it and the balls off together. It felt as if someone had just tore it off with their bare hands, breaking the skin and all the layers of cartilage and muscle under and on it. Blood flowed from it, but the panting Phil no longer rushed to collect the substance. Instead he licked the bleeding crotch, setting the dick aside for later. This began to sting and irritate Dan. He gargled once again unintentionally, in pain, forgetting Phil’s warn of not making noise at all. Infuriated, Phil grabbed the backpack. He ripped the Mikasa key chain from it. Detailed with full maneuver gear and blades, he shoved the Mikasa up Dan’s ass. The sharp blades cut all along the inside of Dan’s hole as Phil pushed it up even further. Her large head pushed against him also, forcing the very raw skin to expand around it, causing extreme pain. Dan wanted to shriek as Phil pushed it up a tiny bit more, but then used his finger to twist it and pull it back down, scraping all along inside the opening.

“Do you like that, Dan? Hmm? Haven’t you always said you wouldn’t mind banging with Mikasa? You didn’t expect it to be like this, did you?”
Dan didn’t reply, although he couldn’t have anyways, verbally at least.
He hesitated but shook his head anyways.
“You know what Dan? Go fuck yourself.”

Phil twisted the Mikasa in Dan once again before getting up to make some pancakes. He started for the kitchen, but then turned around.

“Better yet, you will fuck yourself.” Phil ran back to the horrified Dan, his dick flopping around. He grabbed the cut dick from the floor and brought it to Dan’s ass hole. He picked it back up to his own face and licked it seductively in front of Dan’s face, lathering it with his saliva. He then turned and shoved it up Dan’s extremely aching hole, pushing the Mikasa up even further inside of him, scratching all along his walls. Phil pushed Dan’s dick up Dan’s hole, pulling it out and pushing it back in over and over again. He let the balls smack Dan when the penis was roughly pushed in. Eventually Dan’s body began to shake violently and Phil’s arm got tired of pushing it in and out.

“Oh Daniel~… I’m tired of this all. What about you?”
No movement or facial expressions.
“Danny boy, would you like to go back in he back pack?”
No reply.
“What’s the point of talking to you, baby if you don’t reply when I answer. I don’t want you to talk, not even make noise. I want you to suffer, Daniel. I want you to sit with me in the backpack all day, as I take you around. How would you like that? Let’s go outside soon shall we?” Phil said finally to Dan. He used his hands to pull apart Dan’s rib cage, laughing at the cracking noise. He then smacked Dan’s face and put him in the back pack once again. Phil walked off to his room and got dressed. Dan was about to pass out once again from pain when Phil walked back to him.

“Oh no, you’re not going unconscious again. He kissed Dan’s lips and breathed into the younger boy’s mouth. Phil slapped his face next. He then stared at his beautiful chocolatey-hazel brown eyes before shoving his head down in the back pack and zipping it up. Phil remembered people do need to breathe so he took then pen he used to take out Dan’s eye with and stabbed the pack, not caring where he hit. Dan’s body shook violently in the pack, now able to breathe, but it had been stabbed in the rib cage by the pen. He tried his best not to cause more pain for himself in the very tight confinement he was in while Phil put on his shoes and then picked up the knapsack that held Dan. He put it over his shoulders and grabbed some money, his phone, and the flat keys. Dan, from inside the bag, started to feel motion sickness from being tossed about in the bag, carried on the back of his torturer. He felt a difference in air quality, signaling he was outside now. More than anything, Dan wanted to scream for help while he was still alive, but he couldn’t.

Phil walked about, touring the city at mid day. Eventually he made his way to a shadier part of London, and turned onto an alley way. It was about 7pm now, as he’d been walking about with Dan on his back for two hours. The younger man had drifted into sleep about an hour before.

In the alley Phil met a suspicious looking man.

"Hey, you there with the big lumpy backpack! Want drugs? I got everything here; cocaine, marijuana, ecstasy, cloud 9, hashish, heroin, opium, mdma, lsd, steroids, alcohol even, nicotine, and cigarettes if you don’t feel like runnin to the store.”
“Got guns?”
“Oh yeahhh, of course. What you want? I got-”
“Gimme the cheapest handheld gun you got. I only need one bullet.”, Phil told the man.
“That’s it? Just one ey? You want drugs with that? I’ll give you a real good discount, 14 grams of-”
“No, I don’t want anything else. Just the gun.”

Phil paid the large sum of money to the man. He tucked he gun in his underwear, as if he just had a raging boner and wasn’t holding a weapon there. He walked out the alley and spent an hour walking back towards the flat. He turned into another alleyway once he was about 20 minutes away from home. Phil walked behind a dumpster and swung the backpack over his shoulder. He shook it, not caring if he hurt the Daniel inside.

“Hey man, wake up. D-slice… C'mon. Wake up.” Phil shook the man in the bag, getting him to wake up. He opened his eyes and looked at Phil.

“Good. I just wanted you to be awake for this.” Phil didn’t zip the bag fully closed after he slung the bag back over his shoulder. His hands went into his pants, making sure the gun was secure in there. Once he heard the bus approach the near by bus stop, he broke into a run towards it. Instead of going on the bus however, he waited for it to start driving away. He threw his backpack at the full speed bus and ran once he heard the sound of gargling, a loud thump, and then cracking as the bag hit the concrete road. Out of the corner of his eye, Phil saw red spilling onto the pavement. He didn’t care. He ran to the flat and started Dan’s livestream as it was 9 o'clock.

“Hey guys!” Phil said to the camera. The chat blew up with “Phil” “phillyyyyy” “hi!” “Where’s Dan” and such.

“Dan’s not gonna be here for the stream, even though it is his stream. Instead I wanted to show you guys something because he couldn’t be here.” Phil’s hand reached into his pants. He pulled the gun out, as it wasn’t in view. He waited for more people to join he livestream and once he figured there was enough people watching, one finger pulled the trigger on by his head and the other ended the stream.

Blood spilled onto the carpet where the backpack used to lay idle.

I can make a phangirl cringe.

So like yesterday, I saw a hat and I was like, wow that’s a nice hat! Then when I looked closer I saw that it was deep cherry coloured. I talked to the person selling it and she was sitting in a very comfortable looking
chair. I asked her how much the hat was and she told me to hold on a second because her hamster had escaped. She lured it back into its cage using milk. It was a strange day, but hey… Now
Every month i buy a hat from her store :)

dan and phil play my horse prince #3: a summary

two seconds in and already a questionable horse impression okay time to strap in for another weird one 

“i knew you were going to start clopping" 

clopping??? klopping???? clopping looks better so i’m going with that 

"cloppity clop when will we stop…. is the question many of you have been asking” aw they saw my tweets 

dan licked his lips as he looked over to phil SAME 

he is wearing the ladybird jumper so i agree 

remember the ladybird jumper selfie??? let’s take a moment 

okay back to the video 

it was a nice moment of remembrance though right 


“i like a good divisive series" 

"this is our great youtube controversy, phil" 

those people that are uncomfortable, it’s legit the same level of sexual tension dnp have on a regular basis just in the form of a girl and horse like,,, it’s 2017 the hat/cherry/lung/milk/kitten/whatever else fic exists there are more disturbing things out there

they’re validating those of you though, good for you i’m happy for your notices

"it’s not literal bestiality” // “it’s just a lol” “a nice little lol… just a casual lol" 

"i think we should do this one and see how we feel” i mean finally putting that positions book to good use 

there’s not much eye contact so far are they okay 

i think recently we’ve been spoilt with eye contact and now we’re feeling like something’s wrong because they’re not gawking at each other 

“so whether you want to or not, strap yourselves in for ten minutes of erotic equine roleplay”

phil demonstrating that sweet sweet hand porn 

“i don’t think we should’ve encouraged you with the fanart” story of your life innit lads 

congrats to those phanartists that got noticed!! you’re very talented and i appreciate you!!! 

i appreciate the last one which highlights the shaved sides i liked that a lot ty

“the less we talk about that the better” legit the phandom about 2012 

dan’s reaction to the fanart,,, get those screenshots 

“keep it coming…. or don’t, it’s up to you” phil pls you’re making it too easy for me 

“do you need to do that though?” // “i do, it’s a thing now” living for the little domestic i feel deprived 

“dog. dog has a moustache." 

"phil that makes no sense” as if u never make any mistakes howell phil’s waiting to call you out like the absolute savage that he is 

remember the thomas the tank engine fuck-up, phil was right on that 

phil’s laugh my ears are blessed 

they have two very different reactions to a horse making breakfast 

i found another of dan’s kinks who’s keeping tabs on them all we’ve got another to add to the list 

“what’s a good… lad? one that makes breakfast, the morning after” is that a subtle wink wink nudge nudge, daniel 

“i’m hyped. this, this is, this is a soap.” dan is so excited he’s tripping on his words 

he’s staring at phil okay world order has been restored 

“you know you love it, stop lying to yourself” // “you love it. just thumbs it up anyway, if you don’t like it" 

i love the detailed hair angles we get when they both look down on the screen i appreciate it a lot 

do you think phil will ever ditch the straighteners 

"that’s really posh” phil the savage already getting his revenge

congrats hp stans for phil dropping that reference 

did they just compare all of our mums to a horse 

“anyone that exudes glitter and makes sure that you’re resting on the weekend… that’s who you need in your life" 

"maybe susankun’s on the crunchy nut like us” i bet you both are 

maybe see a doctor about that 

i’m not sorry 

“am i the dog? i think i’m the dog” phil says after barking and effectively claiming the role of the dog 

“you just frickin volunteered” dan the savage 

“that was some good borks” so any excuse to compliment phil huh

“what is this video” me every time i read these summaries before posting them, i relate phil 

“some good pottery" 

"unless this is a magnetic knife, how is the horse holding it? with that horse thumb he’s just gonna grow?" 

dan demonstrates the claw technique 

look at that hand movement fluidity this ain’t his first rodeo 

dan… are u ok…. you’ve just been in this position for four seconds… 

turned into seven seconds, the longest seven seconds of my life…. is it one of the new 7sc they tweeted out for

“can i stroke him?” // “i’ll give him a stroke”

lanky emo lads fawn over hairbrush functions

that sounded like a weird porn didn’t it oh god no

“look at this roleplay, we nintendogs now”

“oh yeah, feel my brush” 

dan gives that side-eye, he doesn’t like phil saying that to anyone else

the singing quota for this video has been filled

thought they were going to give us a sweet harmony for don’t speak and do no doubt proud but nope dan decides to parody it

this is not the harmony i wanted stop singing a weird cult theme or whatever the fuck it is

leek or spring onion will we ever know

phil is intent on killing simulations recently is he ok

“sorry guys” dan is on hand to comfort us

may need to rethink some comfort fic prompts i have

“is it okay? is anything about this okay?” if the existential crisis branding was still relevant he’d be on the floor rn

“shall we have a chat? a little horsey chinwag?” yes phil come back to your northern roots i’ve missed you

“a really long-faced chinwag” you tried dan but you will always be a southerner you can’t pull off chinwag

“is a carrot a fruit?” mister university asking the real question

is dan actually googling it

“AHA it was to catch us out for being an idiot!” i mean, you googled it so…. aren’t you still an idiot

phil is an orange kinda guy, dan is a grapefruit kinda guy…… explains a lot if you think about it

“he hates me again!” // “i can’t believe he hates me again, straight away…” pretty sure i’ve read that exact line of dialogue in a fic before

“what can i say? i’m more in tune with my inner…. horse… man”

casual head scratch as he silently prays for nobody to pick up on that quote

“deep fry anything, and that’s a winner”

“the choices hurt me so bad”

trying to justify this game just falls flat

no amount of meaningful speeches are rectifying it dan

but it’s not stopping him trying

oh he’s stopped now

“i think we should get our things back”

“this is our life” enjoy u demons

“great. i love my life” phil i just don’t even know what to say stop looking like you’re showing a lemon a good time 

take out the lemon and stare at your wavy haired companion

if i used that line in a fic would you disown me

what kind of accent did dan just try to say field in because he sounded like me

“a horse can’t go on rollercoasters is what i’m thinking” // “can a horse go to the cinema?” “no, he’s going to get in the way of everyone’s screen” wow dan and phil, damperers of horse dreams since their corresponding years of birth

“yes, dan’s credit card is about to spend more money on this horse app” of course it’s dan that volunteers his card, phil would never 

he’s the voice of emo goose he only spends money on luxury apps

mister moneybags high brands stan has no problem forking it out tho good for you son get some

“i am this entire developer’s number one supporter” me when dapg was announced

the frenzy time music is something special

“phil you’re doing the impossible quiz again and that is like ten out of ten banned” younger kirsten is crying

phil’s real laugh comes out to play again welcome back old friend i love you

“is she falling in love with the dog? is that what we’re asking?”

phil’s voice is like monotone throughout all of these videos he couldn’t give less of a shit

he’s just humouring dan’s kink(s)

dan stop criticising phil’s horse voice you can’t have it all for yourself all of the time we need as much of it as you do

“i am ready for this” me whenever they upload on a day that’s not the same day i’m posting a fic

there are very different theories about the multitude of onions

again phil’s includes death

i’m beginning to expect it

“oh he’s gone a bit sassy”

“passive aggressive…. okay” dan we feel the same way when we found out phil’s sent a dm

“i feel it coming…. i feel it coming… are you ready? am i ready?”

“that’s just dreamy. i’m in love with that” // “that is dreamy. i’d like that as a poster in my bathroom” 

“that is the thickest spring onion i have ever seen in my entire life” // “it’d take a lot of gnashing” phil demonstrates said gnashing thank you for showing those teggies

“look at the girth on that one” you know what you did dan don’t blame us when the fics come rolling in

the onion fic

“how do you not love this? people, i mean come on, this is better than the current season of the walking dead”

uncomfortable fidgeting as dan realises he’s pissed off hundreds of thousands of people

staring at phil again yes i’m living

“this is better than the wire” phil doesn’t want to leave dan all alone in the opinion firing line

“it’s turning into that cake outtake from tatinof” HOW DARE YOU.

feeling less guilty having watched it now u fuckers

“it’s literally the cake situation”

seriously i’m going to watch it again just to spite you both

“imagine a horse pushing you against a wall and force-feeding you spring onions” dan i love you but i’m going to have to reject this prompt

the game turns sinister and they both look the most excited they’ve looked for the entire video

“this is fulfilling every kink that our audience might have” in which dan tries to push his weird kinks onto us out of fear phil will judge him

“is the next one set in the afterlife?”

“i feel like i went to a place i didn’t think i was going to”

“so real talk, let’s get real” phil i like that you’re trying to get close to the camera but you’re still too far away it’s not doing what you think it’s doing

“if you don’t want us to do this ever again…” “what’s wrong with you” honestly dan same

they’re literally encouraging thumbs down??? how long have they been in the youtube game???

“tell us your opinions down there” oh dear god they’re encouraging the fanfiction

“if you want the horse, we want to give you the horse. you know what we’re saying?” 

it’s hard to quote when they’re both talking at the same time BE POLITE AND LET EACH OTHER SPEAK 

“this is a two way relationship…” why did phil’s smile grow when dan said that

“slice our subscribe button like a spring onion” // “please don’t stab your laptop and/or mobile device” // “trot over to our other channels”

danisnotchoking (but he wants to be)