Fic: Frate, non far (Gabriel/Dean/Cas, purgatory fic, 41k)
“You wanna know how long it’s been since I was only an angel, kid? Hell of a lot longer than since those vamps were only human. Empires have risen and nose-dived, and so have gods. There’s nothing pure about me.”
Brother, do not so: for you are a shadow, and a shadow am I.
Summary: A Purgatory fairy tale. Finding Gabriel in Purgatory is only the start. Steeped in Purgatory’s Lethe effect, Gabriel has forgotten everything about himself and the world - or has he? Dean is determined that he’s getting all of them out Dick-land and back into the real world, but when one angel doesn’t believe he deserves to get out and the other one doesn’t know what out is, that’s easier said than done.
Characters and Pairings: Emotionally, Castiel/Dean/Gabriel. Although the only actual sex is Dean/Gabriel, all the relationships draw on elements of romance and the erotic in places.
Word count: 41k.
Genre and tropes: Purgatory!fic; threesome; amnesia; incorporeal!Gabriel (temporary).
Warnings: Various forms of PTSD, as we’d expect of Dean and Castiel following the end of season 7. Moderate angelcest. Slightly sexual dom/sub elements (used to a specific therapeutic end rather than as a regular dynamic in the relationship), including edgeplay and not-exactly-mindsex. Moderate-level sexual situation initiated by a character who isn’t capable of fully conscious consent. Amnesia. Strange narrative voice, as the P. O. V. character begins the story semi-formless in mind and body, and the narrative style gets clearer as he relearns himself and the world around him. Swearing, in Dean and Gabriel’s dialogue and (increasingly as the story progresses) in the narrative voice.
Notes: Conceptually inspired by the eerily beautiful tumblr, wanderingthroughpurgatory. Second in the A rimirar le stelle series, and therefore sequel to La diritta via era smarrita. It isn’t essential to read that first, but it’s only 3500 words long and the dynamic between Dean and Castiel in the earlier parts of this fic will make more sense with that in mind. Besides, it has pretty, eerie Purgatory images in it; and, being mostly from Dean’s perspective, describes the visuals of Gabriel’s incorporeal and semi-corporeal forms better than incorporeal Gabriel ever bothers to do.
Già s’inchinava ad abbracciar li piedi al mio dottor; ma el li disse: “Frate, non far, ché tu se’ ombra e ombra vedi”. Ed ei surgendo: “Or puoi la quantitate comprender de l’amor ch’a te mi scalda, quand’io dismento nostra vanitate, trattando l’ombre come cosa salda”.
Already stooping to my lord [Virgil], he made to kiss his feet; but my lord said to him, “Brother, do not so: for shade thou art, and look’st upon a shade.” And the other man, rising: “Now thou wilt understand how hot is my love for you, as I forget our nothingness, treating these shadows as material things.”
Dante Alighieri, Purgatorio xxi ll. 130-136. Dante and Virgil encounter an old friend of Virgil’s in Purgatory. Translation adapted from that of Dorothy L. Sayers.
Hi. It looks like Hettienne Park is fundraising for a rescue campaign. (there's apparently Hannibal themed prizes for the highest donors) Maybe you can signal boost this? twitter[.]com/HettiennePark/status/386197502115852288
I am a big fan and supporter of LiNK and I believe we all deserve the right to live a decent life with freedom. And I also believe if we all come together, we can literally save lives. Please help provide the critical funding needed to rescue refugees by making a donation today. Every little bit counts. The process is fast, easy, and secure. And…I’ve got some special gifts from HANNIBAL for our highest donors…autographed scripts & a HANNIBAL Season 1 DVD signed by the cast!
OMGGGGG CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!! now you can buy a 3DS XL and play Pokémon XY with me :twisted:
omfg so many replies, thank you all!!!! it’s just part time but it’s a start, I can look for a second job once I’m settled in it. and yes everyone come visit and drive up profits and get me in the good books thanks
Andrew I ain’t even got all my gym badges in Black 2 yet smh I’m so slow. also I just bought a bunch of TVXQ cds as my treat to myself so…
Castiel/Sam Winchester/Lucifer, Losyngerie in the Devilles mouth.
Oh wow. Okay. In a sort of AU of it, in which they are all together somewhere after the story ends:
who cooks normally?: Castiel. Sam never really got the knack of it, though he does appreciate good home-cooked food. And the fact that Lucifer can’t touch anything corporeal except Castiel and Sam rules him out. Although he likes to offer hints and (usually unhelpful) suggestions, plus the occasional salacious comment about chef’s aprons, which Castiel serenely ignores. For some reason, Castiel still won’t eat just because he wants to - he sort of likes being told (by either Winchester) “Cas, just sit down and eat your damn pizza”. He still manages to look long-suffering over it - even when he’s the one who cooked it.
how often do they fight?: Castiel doesn’t like conflict. :( This rather puts a dampener on any good healthy blood-stirring argument. Fortunately for Sam’s aggression and temper issues, Lucifer is really really easy to yell at. He usually provokes it at least once every week. If he tries to stir anything with Castiel, Castiel sends him away for hours, so he doesn’t do that much.
what do they do when they’re away from each other?: Lucifer can’t do anything except hang around in the Cage. :( This is totally a healthy and in no way co-dependent relationship. Sam continues with his normal Being A Hunter life, assuming Leviathans are out of the picture by now; and nobody really knows about Castiel, when he’s vanished. (It involves a lot of standing around in random places, from busy street corners in Brazil to the middle of the Daintree rainforest, and just watching for hours, with a surprised sort of smile just tugging at the corner of his mouth.)
nicknames for each other?: Lucifer is too cool for nicknames, although he does call Castiel ‘little brother’ a lot. Occasionally he’s been known to call Sam ‘my own’, while running cold fingers over his skin and watching their path with a strange sort of smile, but that’s far too like vessel talk for Sam’s liking and it’s never gone down well. Sam calls Castiel a lot of things - not nicknames so much as endearments (hon, sugar, gorgeous), because he’s always thought one day he’d settle down with someone he could use names like that on, just casually, in a comfortable everyday sort of way. Of course, he’d always assumed that someone would be female, and not a dreamy angel who’s wandered away from Heaven; and he definitely never counted on being in a threeway with the ghost of the devil, either.
Castiel doesn’t understand nicknames. Although sometimes, when he’s turned on and very, very focussed, in that terrifying way he get sometimes, he growls Mine into Sam’s skin, and that’s one that nobody’s allowed to contradict.
(Dean calls Lucifer all sorts of names, by the way. They are all terribly witty. At least, Dean thinks so.)
who is more likely to pay for dinner?: Sam. Why would Castiel bother with money? And Lucifer’s not allowed to try joy-riding Castiel’s mind-control powers to trick people into giving them free stuff anymore, not after that incident in the sex shop.
who steals the covers at night?: You wouldn’t think the incorporeal guy in this relationship would be the one to do that, would you? But he does. He uses Sam’s hands in the night to just grab a little here, a tug there, so that when he rolls over all the blankets in the bed end up tangled around his giant, sprawling form.
So Sam claims, anyway.
(It’s probably true, sometimes. Lucifer is the ultimate domestic shit-stirrer.)
what would they get each other for gifts?: Depending on the day, Castiel would either bring back the most random, pointless objects - half-decayed bark that he saw something exceptional in, a brick from an abandoned house in Islamabad - or food. Castiel likes feeding Sam. It also means he gets an excuse to eat too. Lucifer obviously can’t provide gifts, except in the form of reciting very long poetry just when it’s most inconvenient (he just can’t be nice, it’s not his thing), or providing a complete surround-sound sensory cinematic experience. That’s actually pretty handy for sex. Sam usually gets Castiel clothes - soft fabrics and wide belts seem to go down best, for some reason, and also interesting hats. He tried getting things for Lucifer - he thought maybe he might be able to manipulate some electronics - but that was an utter sulk-worthy failure, so now he just goes with sex.
who remembers things?: Lucifer. He doesn’t share, though. He just watches the others forget, and grins about it. Unless it’s more amusing to tell them. Or, you know, someone’s life is in imminent and immediate danger. Maybe. He’d deny that part, though.
who cusses more?: Lucifer is far too well-bred (and creative) to cuss. Sam technically cusses more often, especially on cases - but most of his swearing is casual enough not to make much impact, like “no shit, Dean”. Castiel chooses his moments carefully, and on the sheer WHAT DID HE JUST SAY factor, he definitely wins. Quality over quantity.
what would they do if the other one was hurt?: Lucifer would try to destroy the world. It’s the best way of showing that you love somebody. Castiel would hang around and glower a lot, and fix it if he could; and Sam would be a Man Of Action And Decision until everything was solved that could be solved, and then he’d just fret and pace a lot while the slow process of healing happened.
who started the relationship?: Well, Lucifer, by hanging around all the time. That’s a relationship, right, when the other party can’t get rid of you?
who made the first move?: Lucifer. By making Sam kiss Castiel’s hair. Castiel is still fairly literal about the nuances of human interaction, so he thought that was a declaration. Sam wasn’t aware of this until some time later. See next question.
who kissed who first?: Castiel kissed Sam. He got tired of waiting, and also of being treated like he was about to break, and decided to show Sam exactly how not-breakable he was (which, given how aggressive Sam usually is with sex, led - after the initial shock - to a fairly competitive and energetic evening). Lucifer wasn’t there the first time, because Castiel got impatient with his commentary after about thirty seconds and banished him, but after an epic ten-day fit of archangel sulks, Sam rolled his eyes at him and kissed him too. It was partly to shut him up, and partly bowing to the inevitable, but it does work. Sort of.
All kinds! I was raised on folk and classic rock, but I love pop music too. Bands I’ve really loved over the last few years include: The National, White Lies, Sea Wolf, Awolnation, Avril Lavigne, Kate Miller-Heidke, Ke$ha, Marina & the Diamonds, etc. I like classical music, but to be in the right mood for it.
T- 5 things I love unconditionally.
Going for walks.
Hearing a song I love on the radio.
V - 3 big dreams.
Owning my own house. I go back and forth between wanting it to be in the middle of nowhere (but with a good wifi connection) and in the middle of a city like London or New York.
Hi. I was wondering if you mind me reblogging the Jenny Johnson post with your tags copy and pasted underneath your comments? It would just seem wrong if I reblogged it and left it out. But, since it was in the tags, I wanted to make sure it was okay.
Totally, go right ahead! I’m not even sure when I got in the habit of writing half of my thoughts in the tags, but they’re usually fair game if you ever want to reblog something from me.
1. A selection of television programs you do not care for.
Skins, How I Met Your Mother, Mock the Week, Elementary, Russell Howard’s Good News, Mrs Brown’s Boys, Charmed, most Irish tv, I could probably go on
2. A selection of musical artists you do not care for.
Lady Gaga, Ed Sheeran, One Direction (though they seem perfectly nice people and all), Jessie J, Rita Ora (mostly just because they’re both so bland and generic I can barely tell the difference between them and a bunch of other artists), Lana del Rey (okay voice, fucking dull, terribly-written songs), Keane (nice guys but they’re still famous??? with that music???? how’d that happen), anything “Celtic”, any classic rock songs made popular again by Glee, uhhhh anyone who’s a whiny boring singer-songwriter with an acoustic guitar who sounds like every other whiny boring singer-songwriter with an acoustic guitar
13. see previous
20. Free rant on whatever grinds your gears at the moment.
hmm I’m not sure what to bitch about since I’m in a good mood after watching BIGBANG antics. I need a prompt to let the bitchery flow