chelsea is going to kill it

steal the toaster

in which i try and fail to be as good as @jiilys and @alrightpotter

James Potter to whoever stole my weetabix is dead: WE ARE OUT OF MILK

James Potter: I MADE TEA AND WENT TO THE FRIDGE AND IT WAS GONE

James Potter: IM LITERALLY CRYIGN THIS IS A DISASTER

Sirius Black: chill

Sirius Black: might have been me this morning though

Peter Pettigrew: did u hv it with weetabix by any chance???

Sirius Black: …..

Sirius Black: shit


Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: do you reckon he’ll accept cornflakes?

Remus Lupin: kellogs ones?

Sirius Black: wtf no lidl ones

Sirus Black: do I look like im made of money

Remus Lupin: well yes

Sirius Black: rude


Sirius changed the name to: next doors wifi is dragon420

Remus Lupin: how did you…?

Remus Lupin: acc I don’t want to know

James Potter: omg bc they BLAZE IT

Sirius Black: omg

Peter Pettigrew: omg


Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: where r u we’re going pub

James Potter: in the library

James Potter: there’s this chem girl

James Potter: she’s so pretty

James Potter: pete?

James Potter: ???


Sirius Black to LADSLADSLADS: new business idea

Sirius Black: james sells jams in his pyjamas

Sirius Black: we can call it

Sirius Black: jim jams

Remus Lupin has left the group


James Potter to three normal ppl + fucking romeo: she came and asked to borrow my pen today !!!

James Potter: out of the whole library!!! she picked me !!!

James Potter: what does this mean???

Sirius Black removed James Potter from the group

Peter Pettigrew: oh thank god


Remus Lupin to James Potter: why have you called me fourteen times???

James Potter: oh pete fell out the window but hes fine

Remus Lupin: whAT???

Remus Lupin: I WAS GONE TWENTY MINUTES

James Potter: on a completely unrelated matter would you say forgetting your name was a sign of concussion?


Lily Evans to James Potter: congrats on winning the match, you were really good


James Potter to no Sirius we’re not going skinny dipping its 4 degrees: HELP

James Potter sent a photo

James Potter: WHAT DO I SAY????

Sirius Black: be ~cool~

Peter Pettigrew: ignore her, girls love it when you ignore them

Sirius Black: mate…. maybe this is why youre a virgin

Peter Pettigrew: for the last time im NOT A VIRGIN

Sirius Black: idk sounds like smth a virgin would say


Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: if my mum rings the flat say im not there

James Potter: but youre not here…?

Peter Pettigrew: she believs u when u say it


Remus Lupin to pineapple is never acceptable on pizza fight me sirius: new drinking game- take a shot whenever james mentions lily’s eyes

Sirius Black: do you want us to die????

James Potter: but guys

James Potter: theyre so green

James Potter: its like a forest

Peter Pettigrew: ill buy some vodka omw back


James Potter changed the group name to: MAN U 4-CHELSEA 1

Sirius Black: blocked


Sirius Black to sirius and co: dont go near the microwave btw

Peter Pettigrew: …….why????

Sirius Black: its lowkey broken

Sirius Black: and by lowkey i mean will kill a man

Remus Lupin: I swear to god if we call the fire service again we’re getting fined

Sirius Black: its fine im gonna steal benjys


Remus Lupin to Benjy Fenwick: Just a quick heads up, maybe hide your microwave

Benjy Fenwick: I already did after black stole my toaster

Remus Lupin: ah sorry about that


Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: you told me benjy didn’t want his toaster anymore

Sirius Black: idk how youre studying astrophysics if you believed tht tbh


Sirius Black to moony ripped a new fiver im so proud: saw evans today

James Potter: omg did she mention me?

Sirius Black: she wanted to know if we were fucking

James Potter: what did you say???

Sirius Black: yes obvisly

James Potter: aw babe

Remus Lupin: get a room


James added Sirius Black and Lily Evans to the group: just to clarify me and sirius are not fucking

Sirius Black: exCUSE ME???

Sirius Black: DID U JST DUMP ME BY GROUP NAME????

Sirius Black: HOW WILL I EVER GET OVER THIS BETRAYAL

Lily Evans: james how could you?

James Potter: …. are you serious

Sirius Black: …..

James Potter: don’t you fucking dare


Sirius Black to James Potter: come and help me buy 150 snickers for bellatrix

James Potter: nah im in history

James Potter: isn’t she allergic to nuts

Sirius Black: exactly


Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: lily just asked if she can sit w/ us at james’s final

Sirius Black: oh mY GOD

Sirius Black: operation lames is go

Remus Lupin: I told you not to call it that

Sirius Black: it’s a gd name #hatersgonnahate

Remus Lupin: please stop


Peter Pettigrew to potter for president: afterparty at ours right?

Sirius Black: hell yes

Sirius Black: proud of you jamesy


Sirius Black changed to the group name to: WHY THE FRICKETY FRACK IS EVANS IN THE KITCHEN IN JAMES’S FOOTBALL SHIRT?????

James Potter: she cant walk around naked can she?

QUEEN OF NOTHING: A mix for the brutal soul with bloodied hands and a tortured mind, who feels too much or nothing at all. 

01. Delirious - Susanne Sundfør // 02. Bloodline - White Sea // 03. Oh, These Monsters - Spelles // 04. It’s The Fear - Within Temptation // 05. Gasoline - Halsey // 06. Raise The Dead - Raign // 07. Deep End - Ruelle // 08. No Easy Way - Digital Daggers // 09. Control - Halsey // 10. A Little Wicked - Valerie Broussard // 11. Not Tonight - The Black Belles // 12. Moaning Lisa Smile - Wolf Alice // 13. Heart Is Black - Escondido // 14. Damned If She Do - The Kills // 15. Kill Me - The Pretty Reckless // 16. Rebel Girl - Bikini Kill // 17. Bad Boys - Sallie Ford & The Sound Outside // 18. Raise Hell - Dorothy // 19. Miss Nothing - The Pretty Reckless // 20. Go - Meg Myers // 21. Army of Me - Björk // 22. Blindness - Metric // 23. Razors Edge - Digital Daggers // 24. They’ll Clap When You’re Gone - Chelsea Wolfe // 25. Which Witch - Florence + The Machine

10

I’d fashioned my own cross,
Been crushed by its weight.

I’ve seen down the end of the road
I deal in a different story, oh
I will never let go again
I feel it in my bones, bones, bones, bones
I feel it in my bones, bones, bones, bones
I’ll do this on my own, own, own, own, bones, bones

Paris C.H.

I had to use Google translator cause I don’t know any French so if there’s anything wrong with the sentences, please tell me so I can change them. ALso, massive shoutout to @ihatethisbandsos because she’s helped me os much that without her, this would’ve never been posted

You can check the Chopin’s prelude that they talk about in the café. It’s amazing and I adore listening to it while reading

Let me know what you think of it // Masterlist // Ideas for blurbs


Paris was a beautiful city, full with art, interesting people, amazing food, and incredibly beautiful buildings.

When you’re lost in Paris, though, it doesn’t seem that cool. Or so Calum thought at that moment.

The Maori boy had left the hotel they were staying at with the guys a few hours ago, and had been wandering around the City of Lights, just doing what a normal tourist would do. That was until he stopped knowing the names of the streets. Then he just kept walking, searching for something that would help him get back to the hotel.

Hunger made itself appear when his stomach growled, not having had a decent meal for hours.

Groaning, he turned around and after being lost for almost an hour, he found himself in a little plaza with a big shop that had a big sign that said patisserie. And, by the looks of its shop window, they seemed to sell cakes and delicious food.

When Calum entered the shop the smell of freshly baked pastels filled his nostrils; but that wasn’t what had gotten his total attention.

In front of her there was a woman, a beautifully simple one at that, that was observing all of the cakes and croissants, too focused on deciding what to buy to even hear the bell that rang when Calum had entered. A big, old man with a greasy apron appeared from a curtain when she thought she had made the decision.

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Bestfriends Secrets Part 5

Originally posted by stilesstilinskiandlydiamartin

Originally posted by misskathgifs

Prompt: An imagine where the reader catches her best friend Stiles kissing her other best friend Lydia.

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

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  • Lubbock: You know, my dick has a lot in common with the sun.
  • Mine: Why? Because nobody likes looking at it directly?
  • Chelsea: It gives people cancer?
  • Akame: It’s going to die someday?
  • Tatsumi: It rises at the crack of dawn?
  • Sheele: It disappears at night?
  • Susanoo: Direct exposure to it often leads to a nasty case of sunburn?
  • Najenda: It needs to stay approximately 92,960,000 miles away from me?
  • Leone: Nobody will ever touch it?
3

Murder Of Chelsea Ann Brooks

On the 9th of June 2006 in Kansas, 14 year old Chelsea Ann Brooks went to a skating rink with some friends. During the evening, Everett Gentry, a friend of the father of Brooks’s unborn baby, told her he was going to take her to her 20 year old boyfriend, Elgin Robinson Jr Six days later her body was found face down in a ditch.

Brooks was nearly 9 months pregnant, expecting a girl and was going to call her Alexa Lynn. The baby would have been due on the 4th of July.

The motive was to escape a rape charge. With Robinson being 20 Brooks’s parents wanted him to be charged with statutory rape, Robinson had also broke a restraining violation. Robinson promised a friend, Ted Burnett, $1000 to kill Chelsea. When Gentry lured her away and drove to a remote location he signalled Burnett who strangled her to death.

Elgin Robinson Jr and Ted Burnett were sentenced to life without parole
Everett Gentry received life with parole after 25 years

Robinson was facing a death sentence but jurors could not decide

Pain- an Alec Volturi / Jane Volturi imagine

Could you do an imagine where Jane is jealous and mean towards Alec’s human mate?

Jane’s POV::
I never had much, but I always had my brother. My brother and I were inseparable until she came along. We used to hunt together, torture the people who disrespected us. But now he’s spending all his time with a human. A worthless piece of meat.

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According to Brooklyn Nine-Nine Executive Producer Dan Goor:

Gina definitely did not die because…

  1. “She is the human form of the 100 emoji and therefore indestructible.”
  2. “You can’t kill a phenomenon.”
  3. “She’s a federally protected landmark.”
  4. “The real question is: how did the bus survive crashing into her?”
  5. “Fun fact: getting hit by a bus is totally safe. Please tell your readers that.”
  6. “The only way to kill a Highlander is by removing the head.”

Gina definitely did die because…

  1. “She got hit by a bus.”
  2. “Repeat: She got hit by a bus!”
  3. “Do you know how much buses weigh?”
  4. “That bus was going so fast!”
  5. “Fun fact: Getting hit by a bus that’s going that fast will kill you. Please tell your readers that.”
  6. “Also, she was already a ghost.”

(via ew.com)

2

IN CELEBRATION OF MY WICKEDNESS: a mix for modern-day witches who hex their lovers and pocket their souls

(listen)

I. glasser - apply, II. polica - very cruel, III. braids - lammicken, IV. chelsea wolfe - house of metal, V. blooms - skin, VI. the kills - future starts slow, VII. london grammar - devil inside, VIII. ladytron - destroy everything you touch, IX. the knife - heartbeats, X. chelsea wolfe - fight like gods, XI. saint saviour - this ain’t no hymn, XII. unkle ft. elle j & joel cadbury - set no sun, XIII. sarah blasko - i awake, XIV. nina kinert - moonwalker, XV. lykke li - no rest for the wicked, XVI. nola wren - fireproof

Chelsea have cancelled their victory parade this Sunday

The Premier League champions were set for an open-top bus celebration around west London following Saturday’s FA Cup final but now say it would be ‘inappropriate’ to go ahead. Chelsea security chiefs held talks with the Metropolitan Police and a number of local councils on Tuesday night and Wednesday morning before cancelling their plans. The nation’s threat level is set at a ‘critical’ level after 22 people were killed in the blast at the Manchester Arena on Monday night.

Chelsea Statement: ‘Everyone associated with Chelsea Football Club offers our heartfelt condolences to those affected by Monday’s terror attack in Manchester. Our thoughts go out to all the victims, and their families and friends. In light of these tragic events, we feel it is inappropriate to go ahead with the victory parade in London on Sunday.Given the heightened security threat announced by the Government, and recognizing that this is a developing situation, we have given this careful consideration. We strongly believe, in the interests of everyone, this is the correct course of action. We are sure our fans will understand this decision. Having consulted with the Metropolitan Police, Hammersmith & Fulham Council and other authorities, we know the emergency services would have been as professional as ever, but we would not want in any way to divert important resources by holding an additional, non-ticketed event on the streets of London.

One thing I don’t understand is why Aro didn’t just recruit Edward, Alice and Bella when they visited Volterra. Bella would get what she wants by being turned and Aro would get a powerful shield out of her and Caius’s desire to kill her settled, but her shield wasn’t powerful enough then to stop Chelsea having grip over Ed and Alice, even if Ed knew what was going on before it happened.

Does anyone have an idea why this was? Or just SM trying to prolonge the story?

volturisecretary  asked:

I want to hear your headcanons about Afton now :D. We need more of them because he needs more love and attention!

Afton was changed by Aro in the early 13th century.  He’s from somewhere around Normandy, the son of a carpenter.  His father was unusually gifted in scrollwork, whittling and carving- basically, the more artistic side of carpentry.  But when the jobs got fewer he was passed over because his poor health had given him a reputation for unreliability.  To make matters worse, he developed rheumatoid arthritis and it became more difficult to do the delicate work he loved so much.  He began frequenting taverns with the little money he still managed to earn, coming home drunk and angry.  Afton usually bore the brunt of his abuse, and in order to avoid his father’s rages he became a pro at “making himself invisible” by finding excellent hiding places and holding very still.  He ran away when he was old enough.

(this got super long, more under the cut)

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Ask Meme

Tagged by @jadedbirch thank you! I hope you don’t fall asleep before getting to the end of this <3

Age: 28

Birthplace: Los Angeles, California

Current time: 3:54 PM

Drink I had last: Water (so risqué)

Easiest person to talk to:  My fandom friends new and old. So many nice people! 

Favourite song atm:  Particle Flux - Chelsea Wolfe

Grossest memory: A client of mine (when I was a lawyer) used to (do something that should be in private) when I’d go to visit him. It was disgusting. 

Hogwarts house: Someone told me once I was a mix between Ravenclaw/ Gryffindor sooo I guess that? 

In love?: with Black Sails

Jealous of people:  Nah, I actually really like hearing about how well my friends are doing. It makes me legit happy. 

Killed someone: ‘fraid not (see, I’m boring)

Love at first sight?: Attraction at first sight. Imo love comes later with all the hard stuff.

Middle name:  Dawn

Number of siblings: 4

One wish: That I had the money to open my own animal shelter.

Person who I called last: My old boss at the law firm which was a while ago lol

Questions I always get asked: ‘You look familiar? Are you that guy from(insert show here)?’ 

Reason to smile: Going to release a rehabilitated raccoon into the wild soon :) 

Song I sang last: ‘You spin me right round baby right round’ to my cats.

Time I woke up: 7AM gotta get to work and all that stuffs and then spend most of it on tumblr.

Underwear color: ….

Vacation destination: Italy, I really want to gooooo but I don’t have the time or the moola.

Worst habit:  I used to smoke but I don’t anymore, it’s been a while. 

X-rays: ??? 

Your favourite food: Right now, soup because it’s cheap and easy lol but I really love pasta, any pasta. 

I figured you guys have already done this so I’ll just leave the tagging open :)