chef-k

anonymous asked:

(1/6) as a kl shipper, i wanna say from the bottom of my heart: thank you thank you thank you. so many times i've wanted to shout stuff like "why do yall hate k/eith so much" and "you guys never cared abt s/hiro or a/llura, let alone s/hallura" and "why do you want so bad for this writer/artist to be a p/dophile godDAMN" like, holy shit. u beautiful salty jem of a pearl at the bottom of this tumultuous fandom ocean. -

- (2/6) even your blog title is golden, bc it feels like so many people are so deluded, trying to make a ship, something you’re supposed to sit back and enjoy, into a sort of spiteful activist bullshit-filled “movement” like what??? and telling folks to unfollow if they ship s/haladin bc they’re “cleaning out they’re blog”, like, fuck off??? sorry but here’s a salt-filled rant and i don’t know where else to put it so here! -

- (3/6) side note, i’m rly trying to get across to you that i’m NOT being sarcastic abt how much i want you to keep doing your thing, bc now they’re trying to tackle RACISM. in grosser and grosser ways every day! calling some of the only asian rep i see in media “white-passing” and saying that l/ance can’t have a last name that isn’t 1000% authentically cuban, whatever that means, buncha hypocritical racists. i have never been so angry and ashamed of a fandom. -

- (4/6) it’s gotten to the point where i, someone who ships kl and NOT sk (just my personal tastes), am rly happy to see any sk on my dash bc that poster must have been so brave! to post something as simple as sk hugging or smooching or whateverthefuck, i don’t care! you do you! fuck all these nasty haters, THEY’RE the toxic ones who just want someone to hate! yall deserve props! -

- (5/6) also, my compliments to the chef regarding that pining k/eith theory, it’s So Good, like i ghostwrote it somehow. the whole “projecting onto l/ance” thing (which is being done to a painful degree, i can testify) tries so hard to remove or overvalidate his flaws that it’s laughable. making lance into an insecure martyr angst-sponge hybrid with no agency and no room for personal growth, it’s sooo bad. -

- (6/6) and villainizing everyone else! reminds me of that jaden smith tweet: “when i die, then you will realize” shit he wrote when he was like 14. transparent af, like we get it, you’re insecure. and sometimes i WANT to hop aboard the black paladin lance train, but it’s always this idealized version of him that’s almost unrecognizable, and it’s at the expense of better black paladin candidates. goddamn ok, that was all my salt for the time being! much love, thank you and goodnight!

This is one of those asks that I’d love to keep in my inbox forever, but I’ve spent the last three days trying to come up with a response because you deserve one.

I think we’re all aware that tumblr is an explictly shitty place when it comes to “activism”. There’s this black-white-mentality that anything and anyone needs to be put in a box based on whether they agree with someone’s world views. Everything needs to conform to a specific label too, fiction is only allowed to be healthy, you condone what you enjoy etc., and the #1 argument by people on this site, also widely used by antis, is “Think about the children” but also “Expect everyone else to take care of you”.

People actively go into tags of pairings they hate and then yell about how triggered they are. Really? I’ve been repeatedly told to kill myself because I liked something they didn’t (and I’m talking about my 99.5% discourse-free main blog, not this one where I passively seek out conflict). You either conform to the popular way of thinking (shipping, in this case) or you’re irredeemable trash and a threat to the public. Any shit you get over having your own opinion will be justified because you deserve to be punished for thinking on your own. Tumblr mentality is the modern equivalent to medieval politics.

Fandom always has a terrible side - I know - but the Vo/tron fandom has become a place where people tear each other down rather than block the content they don’t want to see. Converting people to one’s own thinking has becume such an essential part of “activism” to the point where people forming their own opinions and learning about an issue on their own pose a threat.

In the Vo/tron fandom you see this toxic mentality with K/ance, rabid L/ance stans, anti Sha/adins and so on. You said everything I’ve been trying to say since I made this blog, and it saddens me that people can only safely voice their opinions and concerns when hidden behind the Anon feature.

Fandom isn’t always fun, but the Voltron fandom has become a place where people are too scared of posting their art or speaking up because they’ll legit receive death threats over liking a fictional ship. I don’t know if I’m doing a good job at pushing back against the anti side or if I’m just making it worse at this point. But salt, spite and messages like yours keep me going. 

people.com
Harry Styles Is Dating Food Blogger Tess Ward: Report
Harry Styles may be off the market...

The singer, 23, is reportedly dating U.K. chef and blogger Tess Ward, according to The Sun.

“As soon as Harry met Tess there was an instant spark between them,” claims the U.K. publication. “They really bonded over their mutual love of quirky fashion and food – and things turned romantic quickly.”

A rep for Styles declined to comment to PEOPLE.

According to her website, Ward is a Le Cordon Bleu-trained chef, food writer and author and food consultant. She released her first book, The Naked Diet, in 2015 after training at The Ritz and River Cottage, according to her LinkedIn page.

The Sun also reported that the couple, who met through his stylist Lou Teasdale, has “been on a number of dates while Harry has been in London and he’s already introduced Tess to some of his close friends.” The outlet also has photos of the duo driving around in Styles’ car over the weekend in London.

The former One Direction singer — who’s been romantically linked to Kendall Jenner and Taylor Swift in the past — claimed last month he’s been single for more than a year.

“I haven’t dated in a long time,” the “Sign of the Times” singer told his pal Nick Grimshaw on BBC Radio 1. “I went away to do the movie then did the album, so I haven’t in a while.”

boyfriend!jin

Originally posted by sotaehyung

  • part of me doesn’t even want to come up with a coherent background or plot for this like i really wanna just wild out and talk abt how cute a boyfriend he is but i gotta set a #mood
  • okay so this isn’t set in a universe where bts are famous, tho it is set in a universe where they’re all still inseparable friends bc,,, in what universe does that not exist
  • anyway
  • so in this universe i picture jin as a very dreamy type?? like he’s already dreamy in this one but i mean like he’s the kind of dreamy boyfriend you see in hallmark movies that the self-proclaimed inadequate female lead thinks she won’t end up with but ends up with anyway
  • like he’s so amazing he can sing (which he does for family and friends during the holidays like his voice is so pretty they almost asked him to sing his own damn birthday song), he’s a natural charmer, and he’s just naturally beautiful
  • but!!! seokjin’s pride and joy is and always will be cooking
  • ever since he was younger, he’s always been obsessed with food
  • he’d sit on the counter as his mom made dinner and he’d ask to help always
  • even if it was just passing her things from the fridge or setting the table she always let him help
  • she was so happy that he was so interested in cooking and jin always had this look of wonder on his face whenever his mother made anything bc he was just so mesmerized? like is this woman a god? how does she create masterpieces like this every night
  • from childhood he just wanted to be like her
  • he took all kinds of recipes from her cook book and every holiday, he’d make at least one bomb ass dish for dinner 
  • people would lit come up to him begging him to make more and he’d just smile and wink and go “you can get some more of my stuffing next year, helen, don’t worry”
  • and while he’s good, he wants to be great
  • he’s very adamant about making food that will wow his future spouse and children
  • it’s his passion
  • so, despite his mother and pretty much everyone whose ever tasted his food telling him he doesn’t have to, jin is like no!! i’m taking a cooking class and that’s final
  • it takes jin a long time finding who he wants to learn from, but there’s this really elegant place downtown that holds cooking classes every thursday afternoon and as soon as he sees the pastel blue french doors and the intricate design of the place he’s like yep, this is my haven
  • jin comes super prepared
  • like he knows exactly what he has to do and will no doubt succeed in this class but like he wants to tone it down a bit so he doesn’t intimidate anyone
  • especially since the class is lit only for beginning beginners like the infants of cooking basically
  • you happen to be one of those unfortunate infants
  • your family has always been both amused and depressed at the fact that you literally cannot cook to save your life
  • it’s not like you haven’t tried!! it’s just… hard ya know
  • you can make instant ramen and that’s good enough in your book
  • but after you start a fire in your house making cookies your fam is basically like “ok you need to learn how to cook before you like kill yourself”
  • they sign you up for classes and pay for it and everything and are just like “just show up” and while you’re kind of offended you know,,, it’s for the best
  • when you show up to the class you’re super embarrassed bc almost everyone there looks eons better than you will ever be at cooking even though this class is for like the worst of the worst
  • you’re sulking and sliding behind one of the many counters and tying the complimentary white apron around your waist when you feel a warm presence beside you
  • you look up, and then look up (who needs to be this tall)
  • there’s this tall, very handsome man standing beside you, hands clasped behind his back as he looks you over with a smile and goes “hello beautiful, i’m kim seokjin. and you are?”
  • he holds his hand out to you and you gently take it, nervous out of your mind and mumble your name back
  • you think he might be turned off by your shyness but he’s still smiling bright as ever “that’s a very pretty name”
  • your cheeks are on fire already omgggg
  • thankfully the chef/teacher comes in shortly after and he tells you all to wash your hands first and foremost
  • you and seokjin happen to reach for the facet of the sink before you at the same time and when you look up sheepishly he’s chuckling to himself before withdrawing his hands and telling you to go first
  • embarrassed, you quickly scrub your hands (splashing water on jin in the process) and wipe them on your apron as he does the same
  • the chef basically tells you that the first dish you all will be making will be a simple batch of caramel drizzled cupcakes
  • immediately, jin’s eyes light up
  • jin loves cooking in general but if there’s anything he loves more than average food, it’s baked sweets
  • the chef says that the person next to you would be your partner for the duration of the course, and then he begins writing down the measurements of what you’ll need on the chalkboard behind him as you scramble to figure out what to do first
  • you’re clueless as to what to grab first, as the ingredients are all laid out before you but you don’t know what to do 
  • and then, gently, jin reaches around you for the bowl and smiles down at you “we should mix dry ingredients first, alright?”
  • you blink at him, surprised at how at home he seems to be with the assignment, but you don’t question it bc you need help lol
  • so he instructs you to start mixing the dry ingredients first, and gradually adds the wet ingredients too, asking for your help with other things when he had to take over
  • whether it be pouring in milk, stirring, or cracking the eggs into the bowl, he’s making sure to include you in every step
  • jin notices how hard it is for you and realizes that he should be patient with you, so he tries not to show off too much, and sometimes acts clueless so that you don’t feel intimidated
  • he doesn’t want to make you feel bad, bc you look so cute when you’re frustrated over cooking
  • jin is so good at helping you that even tho you can hear the chef instructing people, you aren’t even paying any attention to him
  • the chef happens to stop by your station and jin stills awkwardly, still stirring, and the chef looks you both up and down before smiling and saying “good job you two!” and then he’s on his way
  • jin lets out a sigh of relief
  • “why did you just sigh like that?” you ask, still stirring as jin stands and surveys beside you
  • “like what?” he tries to smile to seem impassive, but it seems you’ve already caught on
  • “you… you already know how to do all of this stuff, don’t you?”
  • jin is like what?? pshhhh. no. what? no. what’s a frying pan?
  • but you keep looking at him with those honest eyes and he can’t lie to you so he softly nods but then he’s like “please don’t tell the chef! truth be told i want to be better at all of this. i really only know what i know from my mother, but i want to advance past that”
  • instead of being embarrassed abt being so clueless in front of someone so talented with cooking, you become curious
  • “your mom taught you?” you ask, as jin nods with a happy light in his eyes
  • “yeah!! i used to sit with her and she’d just tell me what she was doing while she cooked. i really love my mom and her cooking. i want to be able to cook something nice for her one day”
  • his reasoning is so pure and sweet that you end up gushing and telling him that you think he’d make his mother proud with anything he makes
  • and you actually make him blush?? like he seemed the type to not be bashful about a compliment but his cheeks turn pink as he smiles, “that’s very kind of you to say”
  • jin discreetly helps you a lil more now that you know his secret
  • he helps you spoon the batter into cupcake holders, and when you both finish them, the chef gives you two a glowing evaluation
  • all of the ppl in the cooking class want to be jin’s partner now but he’s like nope :)) all of the praise should go to this lil one right here
  • and you’re like HUH
  • he puts his hands on your shoulders and announces “this is (y/n), she’s an amazing cook, right?? she made these cupcakes so well. i barely did a thing”
  • you have no idea why he’s lying through his teeth but then you realize that like,,,, he’s kinda right
  • while he demonstrated a few things for you, you pretty much did the majority of the work
  • he had simply been the little fairy on your shoulder guiding you through the entire process
  • you start smiling and everyone gives you a pat on the back and you hear a bunch of whispers like “wow, i wish i was that good off the bat” and “she must be a natural!”
  • jin just shoots you lil smiles out of the corner of your eye throughout the rest of the class until the chef is like “k yall can eat these i’m outta here lol see yall next week”
  • as you and jin eat your cupcakes, jin starts telling you about his love of food and how his mom helped him cook at a young age and so forth and so forth
  • soon, his phone is vibrating and he’s like oop gotta go
  • but before he can leave, you gently call for him, and when he turns, you smile at him with a small blush “heh do you wanna maybe exchange numbers? since we’re like partners and all” 
  • and jin smiles before nodding toward the counter, “the answer is in the caramel glaze”
  • at first you’re like uh what
  • but then when you look over on the counter, sure enough, jin has written his number in caramel glaze
  • complete with a ;) face
  • after that, jin becomes like your fairy cooking godmother
  • whenever you want to make something for dinner or a dessert for friends, you call jin and you’re like “yo how do you make this” 
  • the first few times you do this, he asks to stay on the line with you and walks you through making them, but then when he finds out where you live, he just starts. coming over. to your house
  • you: hey!! can you give me your recipe for cream cheese stuffed wontons?
  • jin: i’m on my way
  • he claims that he doesn’t trust you alone with cooking but in reality he just likes being around you a lot
  • he always puts on some cute jazzy tunes and dances around the kitchen with you while you wait for something to bake or for something to boil
  • when he introduces you to his friends and family, they find you absolutely precious (also his aunt low key tried to bribe you with embarrassing secrets about jin from his childhood in exchange for his chocolate fudge cake recipe)
  • his mom even gives you a cooking lesson of her own and jin is just cheesin in the corner of the kitchen like “my two favorite girls :DD”
  • when jin’s mom sees jin being super attentive of you while you cook and making sure you have everything you need, she knows you’re the one
  • it’s only one day when you ask jin for assistance on making something that he ends up confessing to you
  • it’s a stormy snowy night, and right after making peppermint brownies for a christmas party you’re invited to tomorrow night, the power goes out
  • jin helps you light every candle in your house
  • most of which are scented and the combination of pumpkin spice, vanilla cookie, and apple pie are starting to give him a headache ( i have all three of these lmao)
  • but you help ease it as you two curl up on your couch in a big comfy blanket and pig out on eggnog spiked with vodka and a plate of devil’s food cake you’d made a few days ago
  • now, you’ve never seen jin drunk before
  • he’s never let you see him drunk before
  • for good reason
  • when jin is drunk, he is… a delight :)
  • he starts playing a bunch of sensual songs on his phone, thrusting and nearly falling into your fire place bc his thrusts are so Unnecessarily forceful and uncoordinated
  • jin: *staring into space* you know, sometimes i turn to food to hide my emotions
  • for some reason, will not go anywhere in your home without the blanket you two use wrapped around his shoulders like a cape
  • he keeps pointing his finger at you when he talks, even though you are very much paying attention to him already
  • he’s both hilarious and alarmingly clumsy but you can’t help but find it adorable
  • halfway through this shit fest jin just plops down beside you, cup empty, having drank all of the alcohol you have (which wasn’t much to start with)
  • “mmm, you know, i had a dream yesterday” jin starts “i got a call *hiccup* from you. and you said ‘jin!!! come over!! i need help with something’. so i *hiccup* came. and i asked what you needed help with and you said *hiccup* that… your lips were lonely and you needed some lovin” 
  • despite your laughing at his recollection of the dream, your heart stutters in your chest as he lays his head on your shoulder, looking up at you with glassy eyes illuminated by the flickering candlelight
  • he gently reaches forward, and without a word, presses a sweet kiss to your lips, before slumping back against you, as if he had not just kissed you
  • you’re suddenly stone still, very aware of every breath he takes as they begin to even out
  • you can tell he’s finally worn himself out and he’s about to sleep, and while the wind howls outside and the warmth of vodka still bubbles in your belly, you tug the blanket around you both tight and tuck jin in, watching as his eyes flutter closed
  • “i kissed you, just in case the dream was a prophecy”
  • you get up and blow out all the candles, hesitating on the last as it illuminates jin’s sleepy, calm expression, and then you blow it out
  • when you wake up the next morning, jin is tangled with you, his hot face pressed into your neck as the morning sun filters through the blinds, making your head hurt
  • you groan and that seems to wake jin, who is literally laying on top of you “jin… wake up”
  • you nudge him, but he only snuggles into you deeper, wet lips brushing against the base of your neck and sending a shiver down your spine
  • “don’t wanna” his voice is husky, both from all the screaming of christmas songs from last night and the exhaustion of waking up early
  • “did you dream again?” you inquire, and he slowly lifts his head, hair poking this way and that and remind you of a baby chicken
  • so much so that you burst into giggles, attempting to cover your mouth with your hand as you laugh harder at his confused expression
  • but before you can jin grabs your hand and gently pins it to the couch cushion, before leaning down and capturing your lips in a much more sober kiss
  • initially, you’re shocked that he had remembered, or that he even wanted to kiss you, but you press into him and kiss back, smiling as he nips at your bottom lip with a huff, “i did. i dreamed about waking up next to a beauty with terrible morning breath” “fuck u jin”
  • now onto the good bit
  • so already u know jin is a bomb cook right
  • it is commonplace for jin to stop by your place every other night with a tupperware bowl or a glass dish like “hey! i made *insert mouth watering food here* let’s eat it together yeah? yeah”
  • since you’ve already met his family, it’s normal for you to stop by with him whenever he visits
  • sometimes you go alone just to spend time with his family bc they’re so nice
  • and his mom tells you embarrassing stories of teenage jin and you can’t pass on that
  • jin is as avid an eater as he is a cook
  • seconds after putting something down in front of him he’s already inhaled half of it
  • you’re always mad he eats all your food but he makes up for it by making more so it’s all good
  • boyfriend or middle aged mother from book club? who know
  • jin unabashedly does “traditionally feminine” things with you
  • since he loves pink it’s like the main color in his wardrobe
  • sometimes he’ll be dressed rlly immaculate in this beautiful outfit and you’ll be in sweats and a tee and he’s like oh no no no no we are going to match and be the most attractive couple at that dinner party or my name isn’t kim seokjin
  • actually sits and watches dramas with u
  • gets very invested and sometimes you’ll be sleeping and jin will shake u awake at 3 am like “i finished that one drama you know the one? like what the fuck”
  • you try to go back to sleep but jin is like no we are talking abt this i will recap each episode scene for scene and do an in depth analysis on why im not having this today
  • gets super excited for holidays and helps you shop for decor
  • morning jin is uncoordinated jin
  • he bumps into walls, probably isn’t wearing pants
  • “what day is it???” he keeps asking
  • hubby material amirite
  • it’s no secret wherever you go that ppl are always looking at seokjin
  • at first u were kind of weirded out by it but jin doesn’t mind
  • “looking at me? i think they’re looking at my very gorgeous girlfriend”
  • he always manages to make you smile sooooo hard
  • don’t forget the puns pls let’s forget the puns
  • is CONSTANTLY making jokes that you have to reply to or he’ll get snippy
  • whenever you hang with him and his friends and he makes a joke it’s always a game of “who has the strength to force a laugh and take one for the team”
  • one time jin tells this really clever one and yoongi nearly strangles him
  • speaking of friends, all of jin’s friends come to your place now
  • even if jin isn’t there they know your address like if they need you they’ll come to you
  • some of the maknae line low key wanna cook but they won’t ask seokjin bc he gets a big head abt it with them so they say well!!! (y/n) is just as great and way nicer abt teaching
  • ideally it sounds cute but just imagine taehyung, jimin and jungkook zooming around your kitchen yelling and banging pots together, trying to make a simple pan pizza
  • sometimes you end up having to call jin so he can forcibly remove them from the premises
  • they always help jin with rlly elaborate date ideas tho
  • some of the weirdest and funnest ones have always come from hoseok and namjoon
  • late at night, after a tiring day and jin stays over, he always has a routine of kissing your forehead, cheeks, chin, nose and finally mouth before he goes to bed
  • jin always sleeps kind of haphazardly and might kick you in the shin in the middle of the night but he always makes up for it in the morning *cough* morning sex *cough*
  • seokjin thinks you are the most precious person in his life and he never wants to lose you
  • his favorite thing to do is casually mention ur future together
  • “you think our kids would be like master chefs one day?? like really beautiful master chefs. our children would be amazing wth”
  • overall, jin is your super sweet super beautiful super delicious bf and wow make him ur husband today or i will pls

Chef K is on that Millionare Matchmaker show that I generally loathe, but it’s actually really fun when my brother and I sit there and try to guess which of the contestants (or whatever they’re called) are queer and which aren’t. 

And we try to guess which girls are K’s type. I love it. She goes, “my celebrity crush is Natalie Portman” and there’s totes a Portman look a like so I’m just gonna ship that. 

oh god some girl just said, “I’m a Chinese teacher!” to K.

…K’s… not… Chinese. She’s Pacific Islander, right? Ugh. Fo-reeeeaaaal?

They put the queerios in rainbow lays and the heteros in one-color lays. Creative.

Cercasi lavoro in cucina
  • Tizia: pronto, lei é il segretario generale Federcuochi Lombardia?
  • Kitchenbrain: si sono io, mi dica signora
  • T: niente, mio figlio sta cercando lavoro come chef qui in zona
  • K: qui in zona non ho segnalazioni al momento... Mi può dare maggiori informazioni di suo figlio?
  • T: ...l'importante é che sia un lavoro con i fine settimana liberi, perché ha calcio
  • K: scusi suo figlio quanti anni ha? Ha fatto l'alberghiero?
  • T: ha fatto 2 anni di geometra poi ha lavorato in un ristorante come cameriere l'anno scorso per 4 mesi
  • K: ................. 4 mesi, addirittura?!? Mi spiace, non posso aiutarla.
  • Allora
  • 1) già é la madre che cerca per il figlio... non é buon segno
  • 2) povero náni, vuole i w.e. Liberi in un lavoro in cui, il pieno del lavoro é proprio da venerdì a domenica
  • 3) poi cerca lavoro come "chef"... Santo Iddio, ma lo si capisce o no che lo chef non é il cuoco ma il capo della cucina, come dire il capitano della squadra... I cuochi non sono automaticamente tutti chef... Se tutti comandano, nessuno comanda...
  • 4) se tuo figlio ha fatto il porta piatti 4 mesi, non é automaticamente il genio della ristorazione e poter saltare in cucina dietro ai fornelli
  • 5) se c'è un lavoro, dove se non sei super motivato e ben preparato, non duri un ca**o, é proprio il cuoco.
  • Grazie Masterchef (e compagnia danzante)... Grazie per aver fatto di sto lavoro una burletta...