I have this theory that TS is the K-Pop entertainment company version of the iconic Food Network Program “Chopped” when it comes to any type of promotion art design and production
Like I’m pretty sure TS’ method of coming up with something like an album cover image is to bring in 4 people who wrote “graphic designer” on their resumes despite the fact that the closest experience they have of anything remotely related to art is using Microsoft Paint when they had no internet connection to play games on
And these fuckers are given 10 minutes in a dungeon-like atmosphere to come up with an album cover design from a basket of utensils to create their masterpieces, such as:
And so these poor fools have 10 minutes to create a miserable attempt of a cover album image, meanwhile Bap’s manager takes over Ted Allen’s position of looking mildly concerned while also providing the shortest of commentary that tells you he probably gets paid by the word
And Kim Taesong is the completely unlikeable judge Scott Conant, who is notorious for hating raw red onions (but in this case, Taesong’s hatred for raw red onions manifests itself as oh I don’t knOW SOMETHING LIKE PAYING BAP FAIRLY OR GIVING THEM PROPER PROMOTIONS IN KOREA)
Meanwhile Babyz be like
And each designer has to describe their masterpiece the way those pompous cooks do on “Chopped,” where they say shit like “judges, today I prepared for you a physical copy of the image that will represent the compilation of BAP’s compressed digital sound sequences. Using Dihydrogen Monoxide as the foundation of my design I incorporated the dust of Crunchy Cheese Curls to provide some depth and added Elbow Macaroni to really tie everything together. I want to win this shitty rip-off of the American reality show ‘Chopped’ for my mom, who told me repeatedly that I was a disgrace to the family for even attempting to apply for a job here at this godforsaken fortress of injustice. Enjoy”
And these 4 designers get eliminated one by one until a final winner ascends from the dungeons of TS’ building where Secret has been serving out a sentence of imprisonment for the last 3 years
And Kim Taesong tells the winner that their design will be featured as the cover of BAP’s newest album, except instead of paying the winner ten thousand dollars the winner actually ends up owing TS money for no explainable reason other than Taesong telling them “because I fucking said so”
And so the winner is given the honor of “official TS graphic designer” (emphasis on the word “graphic” because the design most likely looks like shit and is an offense to the eyes of children and the elderly everywhere)
And so the image is printed on the cheapest material possible at the lowest quality imagineable
Despite the fact that this image is the cover of iconic songs produced and written by the talented members of BAP, who don’t deserve this kind of half-assed image to represent all of the time and effort they spent working hard to create quality content for their amazing fans
And TS charges up the ya-yas for this album with a shitty cover image because they know Babyz are precious and love BAP and are faced with the ultimatum of supporting BAP but also giving their hard-earned cash to TSkunk
And so because the album sells well this graphic designer continues to design all types of promotional products for BAP and the cycle continues and we get all types of album covers and promotional pics and shit like this
And just like Chopped viewers who find pleasure watching 4 unstable cooks create mediocre dishes using generic-named food items, us Babyz keep purchasing these albums even though the execution of promotions and production was poor on the part of Taesong and his team of quote-unquote graphic designers because let’s face it, just like a fridge full of generic-named food items we all know that when it comes to BAP’s albums: it’s what’s on the inside that counts.
1988. Childhood friends, mutual pining after thousands years of denial. I love your fics so much. 10/10 recommend
Jonny first met Patrick in 1995, when Patrick smashed a handful of goldfish crackers into Jonny’s hair and giggled incessantly while Jonny tried to shake out the crumbs. His hands clenched at his sides, Jonny set his jaw and glared, but Patrick just smiled and asked if he wanted to play.
They built a castle together from dirt and sticks and Jonny put a worm down the back of Patrick’s shirt. They made a moat out of their juice boxes and didn’t even get scolded by their mothers, who planned a play-date as the sun went down.
Patrick’s life goal, it seemed, was to make Jonny laugh. Sometimes he was good at it - he’d make faces or put his underwear on over his pants - but sometimes he messed up. He’d call Jonny a name, or push him into a snow mound, and Jonny would cross his arms and plant himself until Patrick apologized.
Jonny started calling Patrick ‘Kaner’ after his first year in squirts hockey. Patrick was still too small to play and hated the nickname, until Jonny took him out on the ice behind his house and taught him how to steal a puck. After that, they were Kaner and Tazer, and they were on the same team the next year.
Hello! Now welcoming the newest member of the Cheese Family, introducing Cheese Danish! They are the runt of the family, but they have big Brother Cheese Curl and big Sister Cheesecake to protect him! 🤗🧀💕💕
Their tongues were grating cheese blades
Curled up ever so slightly
Able to take just little bites
Licks of skin, you lose control
These were not programmed
These not trained
Binary input shrugs
Selfish: (I am not the same)
(I am above all you see)
(My thoughts grovel in lofty clouds)
Licking expressions of grand beliefs
The existential destiny
To transcend the likes of you
Better (than) you
“Cheese is milk’s leap toward immortality.” — Clifton Fadiman
Today is National Cheese Lover’s Day! Here at One Bird Mocking we’re partial to cheese fries, but we’ll take our artery-clogging pretty much any way we can get it. How about you? What’s your cheesy vice?
So I saw this prompt on tumblr “uh oh we ran out of chips and instant noodle time for an emergency trip to the grocery store at 1AM IN THE MORNING. and only one of us gets to sit in the shopping cart ” and idk I think that would make for a pretty great OT7 story, if you feel like writing it c:
“Hyung!” Bam Bam cried out as he ran to the living room from the kitchen. Yoogyeom and Youngjae followed behind with worried looks on their faces.
Jinyoung and Jaebum looked up from the couch and stood up, seeing that something is definitely wrong. “What happened?” Jaebum asked, concerned.
“Bam Bam, I swear,” Jinyoung sighed, “if you ruined another one of my ramen pots–”
“It’s not that, hyung!” Youngjae added. “This is a serious situation!”
“I’d say it’s life or death!” Yoogyeom nodded.
The hyungs looked at each other confused. Mark and Jackson came out of their room after hearing all the commotion. “What’s going on?” Jackson yelled as he hugged the pillow in his arms tighter.
“Yeah, it sounds urgent,” Mark commented.
“It is!” Bam Bam exclaimed. He dropped to his knees on the floor. All the hyungs were very worried this time. They all sat near Bam Bam and Youngjae rubbed his Thai friend’s back in a comforting manner. “We,” he sniffled, “we ran out of ramen.”
Mark, Jackson, and Jaebum gasped in horror as Jinyoung glared at him. “That’s it?” Jinyoung asked with a raised brow.
“Not only that!” Yoogyeom cried out as he held Bam Bam’s hand for support. “We also ran out of chips!”
“Oh my gosh,” Jackson gasped as he covered his mouth.
“This is a serious problem,” Mark muttered as he nodded his head.
“Don’t worry, Bam Bam,” Jaebum said tilting Bam Bam’s sad face upward. Leader smiled as he helped everyone up. “We’ll just go out to get more food!”
“What!” Jinyoung shouted as everyone else cheered. “Yah, hyung! It’s almost one o’clock in the morning!”
“Even better!” Jaebum exclaimed as he grabbed his hoodie on the couch and quickly put it on. “We won’t have to worry about the crowded supermarket!”
Looking at it, everyone rushed to their rooms to get ready. Jinyoung stood in the living room, still unable to comprehend that everyone was freaking out over their low snack supply and that they were going to the grocery store at this ungodly hour.
Needless to say, he couldn’t pass up a time to spend with the members. Plus, he needed to buy a few items as well for their meals this week. “Damn it,” Jinyoung muttered under his breathe. He gave in and walked to the foyer to grab his jacket and put on his shoes as he waited for the other members to get ready.
“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Jinyoung yelled as Bam Bam and Jackson ran as soon as the seven of them entered the super market. Jackson dragged the protesting Mark along with them. Jinyoung waves them off as he looked at his phone for the grocery list. “Well, I need to get ingredients for meals this week,” he said as he looked up at Jaebum. “Are you going to get the snacks for the others?”
Jaebum nodded as Youngjae and Yoogyeom nodded enthusiastically. “We’ll meet you at the register?” he asked as Jinyoung nodded. Just then, the foreign line entered the scene, rushing down with Jackson in the cart and Bam Bam and Mark pushing him. “Hey!” Jaebum yelled.
Exactly a foot away from Jinyoung, the members pushing came to a halt. Jackson almost crashed into Jinyoung and let out a high-pitched scream.
“What are you guys doing?” Jinyoung asked as he covered his face with his hand.
“Yeah!” Yoogyeom added. “Why is Jackson in the cart?” he said as he approached the shopping cart. “I want a turn next!”
“Um, no!” Bam Bam scoffed. “I found it with them, and I called next turn already!”
“No fair!” Yoogyeom pouted. “I wasn’t there when you called it!”
“That’s right” Youngjae added as he entered the argument. “Plus, I think the main vocals should be the one to ride now.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter,” Jackson laughed, “because I’m in it now!!” As soon as Jackson said that, Mark, Bam Bam, Youngjae, and Yoogyeom all looked at each other and proceeded to carrying Jackson out of the cart. “Hey!”
“Alright!” Bam Bam grinned as he tried to hop into the cart.
“Not so fast!” Mark said as he pulled Bam Bam by his collar. “I’m the eldest! I should go next!”
The maknae line continued to argue with Mark as Jackson tried to get up from the floor. Jinyoung was already down an aisle looking for kimchi while Jaebum just looked at the scene in front of him. With a sigh, and a head full of steam, Jaebum stepped in.
“Alright!” Jaebum screamed as he separated the four arguing. “Knock it off!” It was silent as each member paused. “Stop acting childish!” he began. “It’s just a cart.” Coughing, the members moved aside as Jaebum grabbed the cart. However, he had a smirk on his face. Without anyone arguing, Jaebum hopped into the cart. “As leader, I think I deserve to ride next.”
Mark looked at the maknae line as they all nodded. Youngjae went on the right side of the cart as Yoogyeom went on the left side and Bam Bam stood in front. The maknaes grabbe donto the cart, placed their feet at the bottom of the cart, and gave Mark a nod. Mark grabbed the handles of the cart and ran it down the nearest aisle, making all of them scream.
Finally back to reality, Jackson stood up with his head in a daze. “What happened?” he asked. Realizing he couldn’t see any of the members, he roamed down and looked through each aisle.
Luckily, he found Jinyoung in the pasta section. He raced down with open arms and gave Jinyoung a huge hug, nearly knocking the food in Jinyoung’s basket. Jinyoung looked over and smiled when he saw his Hong Kong friend. “Glad to see you’re up,” he laughed.
“What happened?” Jackson asked. “Where are the others?”
“Beats me,” Jinyoung replied as he continued to scan through the shelves looking for the pasta he needed.
“Well, all I remember is that the maknaes and Mark grabbed me and tossed me out of the shopping cart.”
Just then, the PA system came on. “We have a cleanup at Aisle 5C. I repeat, a cleanup at Aisle 5C near the bakery.”
Jackson and Jinyoung looked up at the aisle to see they were in 5A, which was only two away from 5C. Jinyoung sighed as he put the pasta in his hands in the basket that was dangling from his arm. “I think I know where they are…” he sighed as he walked out of the aisle and motioned Jackson to follow him.
“So let me get this straight,” Jinyoung glared at the members. “You went through every aisle, but you didn’t get the ramen and chips that you wanted in the first place.” Bam Bam looked up at the others and shook his head.
“Unbelieveable!” Jaebum added.
Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at Jaebum. “Yah!” he yelled. “You’re no better! You were the one who rode the cart in the first place!”
“Well,” Youngjae coughed, “at least we helped clean up the mess.” The other members nodded and smiled nervously. They all looked at Jinyoung who still had that disappointed look on his face.
“Alright,” Mark sighed. “Look, Jackson, Bam Bam, and I will get the chips and Jaebum, Yoogyeom, and Youngjae can get the ramen while you continue to get your ingredients. Okay?” Every thought that was a good idea. Even Jinyoung nodded at how simple and efficient that plan sounded. The members soon split up to their designated duties.
“Wavy chips?” Mark asked as he grabbed the bag. “Oh,” he said as he spotted another bag of chips beside it. “Or original ones?”
“Oh my gosh,” Jackson whined as he leaned his head against the shelf. “Just pick one already!” Just then, Bam Bam came back to the members with their favourite cheese curl snack and popcorn. “See?” Jackson said pointing to Bam Bam as their Thai friend placed the bags into their basket. “Bam Bam’s got it. He’s got his life in order. MAKE A DECISION, MARK!”
“Hyung,” Youngjae asked as his eyes browsed the ramen on the shelves. “What kind can we get?”
Jaebum and Yoogyeom scanned the aisle with Youngjae. “This is tough,” Yoogyeom sighed as he held their basket.
“Well, we could just do this,” Jaebum said as he took the basket from Yoogyeom. He put his arm on the shelf and slid it across, dumping each ramen pouch into the basket. Youngjae and Yoogyeom stared at their hyung in amazement.
Jaebum gave the full basket back to Yoogyeom as the three of them looked at the empty shelf. “That was genius!” Youngjae cheered as the three of them high-fived.
“I leave you guys for five minutes,” Jinyoung sighed as he saw one basket full of assorted ramen and another full of bags of popcorn and cheese curls. “I thought you guys wanted chips…”
“We did,” Bam Bam replied. “But this guy,” he said as he pointed to Mark, “couldn’t make a decision, so we just decided not to buy chips.”
“Well,” Jinyoung continued, “Jaebum, do you have the company card?”
Jaebum snapped his fingers as he reached into his back pocket to grab his wallet. He took it out and opened it, taking out the company credit card with it. Everyone, including Jinyoung, cheered, knowing that they didn’t have to pay for all their food.
As the poor cashier who witnessed everything that happened tonight scanned all of their bags and packets, Jaebum passed him the credit card as the members grabbed the plastic bags they were put into. With a satisfied look, all the members smiled at each other as they walked out of the grocery store together.
Hello! Can you do an imagine were the reader is dating Malia and Malia is very protective over her and loves pda? Thanks / Hi!! I was wondering if I could have a Malia Tate imagine (girls point of view) based on Ghost by Halsey? Thanks
A/N- So i combined these two requests, since they were both Malia and it might not be totally based on the song, but I hope you like it anyway. Btw, I love Halsey and I was listening to that song on repeat for like two hours. Next up is a Stiles imagine.
You turned over in your sleep, expecting to roll right into the arms of your girlfriend Malia, but your body only hit the empty mattress. You opened your sleep-blurred eyes, searching the edge of the bed, but it was obviously empty. You sat up with a frown, peering around the room, and that was when you remembered. Last week, Malia had come up to you in the hall, a guilty expression of her face as she stood in front of your locker. “I’m not good for you, Y/n,” was the first thing she had said to you. “What?” you asked, with a nervous laugh. “What are you talking about?” Sure, Malia had her moments. Sometimes she was a little rough when she kissed you, her claws digging into your hips as she tugged your forward. And maybe she got a little too protective, especially when she almost tackled a Devenford lacrosse player that was trying to flirt with you last week. When you finally calmed her down, she had pulled you into a harsh kiss, making sure the guy had been watching. While all those things might be seen as annoying or unpleasant by other people, you liked them anyway. Those were actually some of your favorite things about Malia. You loved her, and you wouldn’t have her any other way. “I’m not good for you,” she repeated. “And with the dread doctors trying to kill us, you don’t need to be around me.” “But…what are you saying?” you asked softly, afraid you already knew where this was going. “I’m breaking up with you,” she told you. “We never should have dated in the first place.” You blinked, your expression a perfect pictures of shock and hurt. You knew that things hadn’t been going well for Malia and the rest of her friends lately. It was true that she had been different the past few weeks, but you had never thought she would break up with you. “Malia-” “I’m sorry,” she cut you off, not being able to stand your broken eyes on her. She turned around, holding her books tightly to her chest and praying you wouldn’t follow her. She waited until she got around the corner, and then she let her tears spill. She had never wanted to break up with you, but she loved you too much to put you in danger. You weren’t like Malia and the rest of her friends. You weren’t used to fighting monsters and watching people die at every turn, and because of that Malia knew she couldn’t be selfish this time. She couldn’t put you in danger. But you didn’t know that, and so after you realized Malia wasn’t coming back, you just sat in your bed, trying not to cry. It hadn’t been unusual for Malia to crawl into your window in the middle of the night and slip into your bed, wrapping her arms tightly around you. She did it almost every night, and not having her there only made the pain of the breakup worse. You looked at the clock, realizing you had to get up for school in an hour. You sighed, flopping back down on the bed and pulling the covers up over your shoulders. You closed your eyes, but you had never gotten much sleep when Malia wasn’t there, and tonight was no exception.
“You look awful,” Lydia remarked as she sat across from you in the library. “Thanks,” you told her dryly, shooting her a look a dirty look. “I think she means you look tired,” Kira interjected smoothly. “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” you told her, your tone softening. “Actually, I haven’t gotten a lot of sleep for the past week.” Kira frowned, knowing how hard the breakup was for you. She understood why Malia had done it, but so far it was doing nothing but making both of you depressed and snippy. “Maybe we should all just go out and do something fun,” Kira suggested. “To get your mind off things.” “I’m not really in the mood,” you told her sullenly, your cheek propped up against your hand as you stared at the blank page of paper in your notebook. Kira looked over at Lydia, only to see the banshee fixing her with a knowing look. She raised her eyebrows, and Kira nodded, knowing what she had to do.
“Why won’t things stop trying to kill us?” Malia sobbed as she bit into a cheese curl. “Because Scott and Stiles restarted the nemeton, remember?” Kira asked gently. Malia fixed her with a glare so deadly Kira was surprised her heart was still beating. “Sorry,” she apologized. “I guess that was rhetorical.” The breakup had hit you hard, but little did you know it was hurting Malia a lot worse. That was why she had been camped out in Kira’s bedroom every afternoon for the past week, stuffing her face with as much junk food as she could find. “Maybe eating isn’t the best way to deal with your feelings,” Kira advised, gently reaching for the bag of cheese curls. Malia’s eyes flashed blue, and she let out a deadly growl as soon as Malia fingers touched the bag. The kitsune gulped, pulling her hand away and realizing she couldn’t wait any longer. “You should just talk to her,” Kira told her. “Neither of you are happy, and it’s not really protecting her. Actually, if they wanted to get to her, you wouldn’t be there to protect her.” Malia frowned, wiping her tears and considering Kira’s words. The kitsune had a point, and Malia realized that maybe she hadn’t put as much thought into her plan as she should have. There was no point to being apart if it wasn’t going to keep you safe. Malia stood up, dropping the bag of snack food to the floor. “I’m going to the school,” she announced.
You sat on the bleachers, watching Scott and Stiles scrimmage against another school. Usually Malia would be here with you, sitting beside you as you did your homework and making comments about which players she thought would crush Scott and Stiles. But not today. Today you were alone, sighing as you watched the players run back and forth on the field. You had already finished up your homework, and right about now you and Malia would have been laughing as Stiles got hit in the face with a ball. But she wasn’t there, and the only thing you felt was misery. It wasn’t as much fun without her, you realized, and you found yourself grabbing your things and getting up to leave. There was no point to it if Malia wasn’t there. You walked parallel to the field, and had the unfortunate luck of passing a benched player from the other school. “Hey baby,” he called. “You look lonely.” You rolled your eyes and spat out a “Bite me.” “I’d love to,” the guy said, jumping off of the bench and coming towards you. You rolled your eyes, absolutely not in the mood for this, and kept walking. But you guessed since the guy didn’t have anywhere to be, he thought that talking to you would be a smart way to use his time. “Why are you all by yourself?” he asked, jogging next to you. “I’m not really a people person,” you said bluntly. “Neither am I,” he told you. “We have so much in common.” “Well, unlike you, I’m not interested.” You brushed him off, walking faster, but he grabbed your wrist. “Hey, I’m still talking to y-” Suddenly he was being slammed into the fence, his back hitting the cold metal chain painfully. “Ow, what the h- "She said she wasn’t interested,” Malia snarled. Your eyes widened as hers lit up a cold blue, and she bared her teeth at the guy. His jaw dropped, and he stumbled away, staring at her in disbelief as he tripped over his own feet. Malia wasted no time in turning to you, and before you could utter a word, she was slamming her lips onto yours. She roughly tugged you closer, and your fingers moved up to tangle in her hair. “W-wait,” you breathed, pulling away slightly. “Malia, you broke up with me.” “I know,” she told you quickly. “And I’m sorry. I thought I was protecting you, but I really just made both of us miserable. I was wrong.” “It’s okay,” you told her, reaching up to run your thumb across her cheek. “Should I torture him?” she asked, nodding her head to the guy who grabbed you. “I think he got the message,” you told her. Later that night, you slept in Malia’s arms, her face nestled into the back of your neck. Her arms were wound tightly around your waist, and if anyone were to walk into your room, they would see that you were smiling in your sleep. Needless to say, it was the best sleep you had gotten in a long time.