cheese 2.0

i promised i wouldn’t beg
for you
to stay by
my side
and sit
watching the stars
watching the moon
watching the birds
fly south for winter,

you’ve got a home to go
to, but i am
so in love with you,

i’m waiting
for you
to say,
“i’ll stay.”

i’m waiting 
for the
words to process
inside my throat,
“i miss you.”
are still
the only sounds 
that escape.

i am a cage,
with a broken latch,
each day
i pray you’ll get 
stuck inside me.

i want to be the last
thing you see before
you fall asleep,

i want our skin to melt
away, let our bones rub
against each other,

i’m never close enough. 

-

there’s so much loss in
so little time, and as
the airplanes get closer,
i can feel you slipping
further and further away,

if the storm clouds that 
follow me keep up i might
get ten more minutes with 
you.

there’s no tragedy in
boomerangs, there’s no
sadness in bouncing back
to you,

therefore, there
should be no tragedy in
our farewells, our best wishes,
our goodbyes.

these things we say are all
temporary, we both know 
you’re coming home, we
both know i’ll still be here,

with open arms,
with open hearts,
we intertwine.

i’ll wear you on
my arm, on my hand,
as if i was holding yours,

it’s late now, but i know if
i sleep now, i’ll wake up without
you, and i really don’t know if i
can handle that,

-

mornings are worse than 
nights, the way the rising sun
bounced off your
hair, the gleam in your eyes as
you wiped the sleep away,

these are all memories once i close my eyes.

-

i’ll wear you on my wrist, i'll 
carry you with me as if your weight
was pressing down on my bones, 

well my back’s gotten worse and my knees
are as bad as they’ve ever been, 

-

i carved a hole in my chest, and as
everyone left me, one by one, pieces of
me went to different corners of the
earth, i have nothing left now.

look how far i’ve been scattered.

-

someday i’ll put all my pieces back
together, and at that point i hope
our names are still etched into each
other’s skin, i hope the imprints of
you and i 
won’t fade, but ink is
only so strong, i’ve scheduled a
touch-up for as soon as the sun shines on
us together again.

-

i’ll wear you all over me, covering
every part of me, take my bones, my marrows,
my eyes, my ears, my lips, my tongue,

these things are all yours now.

if you hold me close enough tonight,
then i won’t miss one yesterday

with you.

i slept with ten pillows last night,
by the time
the morning
came, each
one had disappeared to
a different
coast, each one
taking a part of
me with it,

i’m so stretched out i don’t
know if i’ll ever pull myself
together again.

-

my eyes have seen twenty
one calenders, my bones are
trees that have nineteen rings, 

i only wish i could still
feel my heart sink into
my stomach, instead of
watching it sink into
the pacific, 

the world is a dark place.

-