cheerleading majors

*cries before practice*
  • Band Director: Who's messing with you? You know I take kick boxing classes right?
  • Drum Major: Who do I kill? Who hurt my prodigy?
  • Section Leader: You look like a fucking raccoon with all that smeared mascara. What the hell happened to you?
  • Cabinet: Okay, cabinet meeting right now. We need to find whoever is responsible for this.
  • Guard: *brings out rifles and sabers* Okay, so who's messing with you? *smiles*
  • Me: Well, there's this football player...
  • Everyone: *groans* Say no more. *brings out water guns filled with valve oil and spit*