cheeky harries

2

stupid sexy draco malfoy 

taking place after harry’s bi awakening

British Culture Gothic
  • Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire he’d burn for 1000 days. Some say that his ears aren’t exactly where you’d expect them to be, and that once, preposterously, he had an affair with John Prescott. We suddenly realise that we have no idea what the truth is. Who is the strange creature? What does he want from us? All we do know, is that he’s called The Stig.
  • It’s the year 2056. Bruce Forsyth is now 141 years old. He’s outlived his family, he’s outlived his old co-stars. He’s outlives everyone he knows. He’s outlived all of us. The apocalypse happened 10 years ago and Brucie is the only one left. He is the last man on Earth.
  • You’re in Tescos just before Election Day. You stop by the news and magazines section expecting to find some quality political analysis on the front page of your favourite paper, but all you find is rows and rows of the same image. Ed Miliband eating a bacon sandwich. At least that’s what the headline says he is doing. But you look closer. And that most certainly is not bacon.
  • You’re on the settee. You’re sort of half asleep-half scrolling Facebook for quality bants. ITV is on in the background but you haven’t been paying attention since Jezza Kyle went off. Something suddenly forces you to snap back to reality. In the corner of your eye you see an oversized white collar, thick rimmed black glasses… No, no, I thought it was over, please tell me he isn’t back, isn’t it over?? You turn to see the collar is now poking through the telly, and he’s there. Staring. There’s only one way to find out… FIGHT
  • LAD culture is taking over. Every word in the English Dictionary is quickly being replaced to include with word “bant” in it somewhere. All dinosaurs have been renamed Bantersauruses. At Christmas the only thing you can watch at the theatre is a Bantomime. Law dictates that the only things we can put in our gardens are blants, particularly of the chrysbanthemum variety. We don’t even wear normal underwear anymore. We literally wear bants. 
  • I wonder what ever happened to Dec, you wonder as you watch Ant presenting Britain’s Got Talent solo. You’re suddenly very aware that you haven’t seen him in a while, but Ant has never mentioned where his counterpart has gone. But wait. Ant looks different. The more you stare at his face the more obvious it becomes, but somehow only you can see it. Dec is trapped inside Ant’s massive forehead.
  • It’s been a long time since Freddos were 10p. A long time. And the price of them is no long a humorous topic used to express faux-indignation at the ever rising cost of living. They are a sad subject now, and it is deemed rude to even bring up the topic of Freddos in good company. Every time your gazes flickers to the £1 label beneath the untouched stack of Freddos at Morrisons, you die a little bit inside, a tear rolls down your cheek.
Cheeky Bets

“No Harry you cheated!” you shouted, “I totally won!”

“Obviously not love,” he smirked. Harry and you had a bet of who would win at game of mini-golf. You would have beaten him if he hadn’t cheated the entire game. He pushed you when you swung, he moved your ball when he thought you weren’t looking, and didn’t write the correct score down.

 Fighting with him would do no good. He knew he couldn’t beat you fair and square so he had to cheat. Both of you were very competitive and could turn almost anything into a competition. And many times that meant raising the stakes. Normally the stakes weren’t too high; it would be something stupid like what you had for dinner. However the stakes this time were completely different. Whoever won at mini-golf would choose something new to try in the bedroom.

Harry and your sex life was far from boring and yet the two you were always wanting to experiment. The problem was there were so many different things to try and the two of you couldn’t agree on one. One night you’d planned to try something, but instead argued about what to try. By the time the fight was over it was neither of you wanted to even have sex.

The whole week Harry had been smirking and making smart ass comments. If you’d been paying attention you may have caught on that he was dropping hints of what was to come, but you just thought he was being his normal self. He was always making cheeky comments so you never would have guessed anything out of the ordinary. The comment that should have alerted you was when Harry came up behind you running his hands all over your ass saying, “Always love this ass. M’gonna put it to good use soon.”

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Look at this sweet cheek 🐥🐥

Title: Panorama
Author: isthatyoularry

Oneshot
Words: 34k

Summary:
Flight Attendant AU. 

Louis’ cabin crew at Panorama Airlines are in a need of a new member. Cheeky Harry Styles joins the group, but to his mild disappointment Louis determinedly has no intention of joining the Mile High Club. 

Their first kiss might not be their first kiss.

Manips made by since-he-was-eighteen

2

Prince Harry talking to Jack Whitehall  at the Royal Variety Performance (and making really strange faces)

6

🌟🎄20 CHRISTMAS HL FICS🌟🎄

1. love is a word (you gave it a name) by hattalove (21k)

it’s christmas. in between snowman building, tree shopping, and ill-advised skating on a frozen lake, louis and harry get ready to take the most important step of their lives.

2. Something Unpredictable by  LSFOREVER (19k)

Office AU where Harry plans a Secret Santa Christmas Party for his office floor. What he hadn’t planned on, was some certain gifts that make him blush like crazy. Also featuring Mr. Tomlinson, The Boss Man; Zayn, Louis’ best friend and company co-owner; Niall, Harry’s cheeky mate; and Liam, the oblivious sweetheart.

3. baby we could be enough (i’ll make this feel like home) by anyadisee (52k)

harry is a photographer who’s trying to find his place. louis is a single father with a smile that feels like home. 

4. Make My Wish Come True (Baby All I Want For Christmas Is You) by larrymylove (29k)

Louis has just agreed to spend the holidays with his family, and to bring Harry along with him. There’s just one problem…he and Harry have broken up, and are wanting to avoid telling everyone until after the holidays. The fake/pretend relationship AU with a twist. 

5. Night Changes by louhearted (29k)

Harry is buying last minute Christmas gifts for a party on Christmas Eve and gets snowed in the store with cashier!louis. Featuring side ziall and Liam, Niall and Zayn as Louis’ best mates. 

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