checks on checks

NHL!Bitty (Pt. III) - Post-Season

Bitty loves Seattle as much as a southerner can love a city that barely sees the sunshine, and he loves his boys, but god bless it if he doesn’t cross his fingers and toes every year hoping to get picked up by a Metropolitan team so he can at least live on the same coast as Jack.

For a few blissful months every year, Bitty gets his husband back; and promptly does none of what he’s planned to do with said husband.

(Also, point-of-order, Jack’s three-year, 1.2 million a year, Falconers contract, is on the lower end of the spectrum. The average (2016) NHL salary is around 2.9 mil a year, meaning Jack went pretty cheap for someone being scouted by so many teams. Did our beloved Canadian hockey robot turn down mad-money elsewhere to sign with the Falconers? Probably.) 

Part I - Hug Check |  Part II - Chirping

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They’re both snuggled up together in a rare moment of post-season calm. Neither are keen to move any more than the absolutely have to; tucked into lopsided couch cushions while the television plays split-screened between another film missed in theaters and the NHL Network.

It’s been a long, hard-fought season for them both: the Falconers knocked out of the playoffs in the second round, the Schooners barely making a dent in the first. Combine that with their newfound ‘chronic’ injuries and Bitty is happy to just lie here, mindlessly groping any part of Jack he can reach: he’s currently got a handful of pec, while Jack alternates between Bitty’s ass and lower back. It’s not arousing at all, just comfortable; until Jack’s wandering fingers hit a sore spot.  

“You okay?” Jack whispers when Bitty flinches.

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Has anyone talked about a Zimbits The Proposal AU yet? Because I have some thoughts.

  • I had a really hard time working out who should be Margaret and who should be Andrew, as tbh it could work both ways, but I decided it fit better with Jack as Margaret and Bitty as Andrew so for this au unfortunately the Zimmermanns have to be dead, but apart from that it’s fine.
  • Jack is high-flying [insert appropriate job here - photographer? still a publisher?] and Bitty is his long-suffering assistant.
  • Jack is known as the robot in the office due to his lack of emotions and apparent ability to work till ungodly hours of the day without stopping, something he expects of everyone else around him. He also doesn’t seem to have a life outside of work.
  • Jack is from Canada. Jack ignored his visa limitations and went out of the country for a business deal. Jack is about to be deported.
  • Bitty, meanwhile, had been looking forward to finally seeing his extended family at his moo-maw’s 90th birthday, but is now stuck complaining to his mother about his evil slave-driving boss, and how he’ll be stuck as Jack’s assistant forever at this rate.
  • When Jack asks him to be his fake fiancé, Bitty wants to say no, but the prospect of a promotion is too much to pass up. So he agrees, on the condition that Jack comes down to Georgia to visit Bitty’s family with him.
  • “Why would I need to know what you’re allergic to?”
    “Because that’s the kind of thing couples who are about to get married should probably know about each other?”
    “Like you know so much about me.”
    “I know you like PB&Js, what your coffee order is and that it has way too much sugar in it, your dry-cleaning specifications, and everything you’re allergic to; so yes, you do need to know that, I’m afraid.
    “What am I allergic to then?”
    “Pine nuts and the full spectrum of human emotion.”
  • Bitty’s massive family is overwhelming for Jack, who’s been by himself a long time.
  • Everything is too hot and Jack hates it.
  • Bitty and his dad don’t get on too well, because Bitty didn’t want to take on the family business. 
  • Bitty’s family make them kiss and it’s awkward as hell until it isn’t, and who knew it could be that good?
  • THERE’S ONLY ONE BED IN THE ROOM AND WOOPS THEY HAVE TO SHARE.
  • Jack’s not used to so many people being nice to him, especially Bitty’s mother and grandmother. They persuade the two to get married that weekend. In a barn? For some reason?
  • Bitty has some really great friends from college who come for the wedding. Jack likes them.
  • Jack’s not overly fond of Bitty’s ex, though, who’s sniffing around despite Bitty being fake engaged. To Jack.
  • Everything is still too hot.
  • Jack is starting to get used to Bitty calling him honey and sweetheart and he thinks he likes it.
  • Bitty is starting to get used to Jack’s smile, which had almost knocked him flat on his ass the first time he saw it. Jack should smile more often.
  • The problem is that, now Jack’s met Bitty’s family, he can’t quite bring himself to go on with this charade. Bitty’s family deserved better than this sham of a wedding. Bitty deserves better. 
  • So Jack leaves, and Bitty spills everything to his family, who tell him to go after Jack. 
  • He catches him at the airport.

its 3 in the morning and i went and got some snacks and mom… got up, came and looked in the closet, and when asked what she was looking for, said “i dont know.” then she stole one of my cookies and presumably went back to sleep

Two people have sent this to me, so I wanted to let everyone know I’m aware of this facebook ad going around. Sadly the t-shirt is being sold through TeeChip, which is a garbage site when dealing with art theft. I submitted a DMCA notice, but who knows if anything will come of it. 

It’s mostly the flower crown which was cut  straight off of my design. Like, seriously, I know flowers are a pain in the ass to draw, but just take that extra mile and draw your own. 

jack is bad at food HC
  • so i have a headcanon that jack is actually REALLY BAD at nutrition
  • not so much ‘he eats mcdonalds five meals a day and chocolate for breakfast’ or whatever
  • but like
  • that boy subsists on all that nasty Athlete shit – protein powder, protein bars, gatorade, Hungry-Man Frozen Meals, etc. – because he cares about fueling the hockey machine
  • …not so much long-term care

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yeah so i have a gta cow chop au up on ao3 and i have just now gotten to telling tumblr about it, whoops. but i made a thing for it. im gonna just leave a link for ya here. its called Abate

Canon Queer Fiction Part 4/4 (updated 4/27/17)

15) Some Like it Hot: Nobody’s Perfect. 

Some Like it Hot is about two musicians who go on the run after witnessing a mob hit. In an attempt to escape, they disguise themselves as women and join a women’s band heading down to Florida. And as the ancient scrolls say, hilarity ensues. 

  • Pros: one of the best comedies ever made. 
  • Cons: ???

16) Check Please: *The echoing sound of a boy singing Beyonce in the shower*

@omgcheckplease I’m embarrassed I didn’t add this sooner! Welcome to The List.  

Check Please is a webcomic about a college hockey team. Its also really gay. Good stuff. 

17) Black Sails: *Kicks down your door* yO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!

Originally posted by captain-flint

Originally posted by blacksailsstarz

GAY PIRATES. Suggested by @mangopuffs Thank you based mangopuff.

  • Pros: Gays pirates. 
  • Cons: The nudity is a bit excessive in the first season. Like, game of thrones excessive. Its a bit much. 

18) Genghis Khan: No relation to the Mongolian warlord. 


Just watch it. Trust me. 

  • Pros: It makes me … happy. In this vale of tears, what more can we ask for?
  • Cons: Its a music video and not a feature length film. 

19) Tobias and Guy: The one with the Bara demon. 

@tobiasandguy Again, I don’t know why I didn’t add this much sooner. 

Its a comic about a guy who dates a demon. Come for the lulz, stay because you can’t click away for the way your hands are shaking and the tears.

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mental health check:

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