checks & balances

Justin: Okay, is there a math check? What are you talking about?

Griffin: Yeah, it’s your fucking brain. You use your brain to add numbers together.

Justin: Ok, 16.

Griffin: What are you even doing?

Justin: I’m seeing if Taako knows this, and I have 16 out of 20.

Griffin: 16 out of 20 shot of knowing the history, the inventor of math in this fantasy world, is what you’re rolling to check?

Justin: Like, the history of this fantasy world, yes! Like, Griffin, I love you, you’re my brother, but if my skill called HISTORY does not literally help me with HISTORY trivia questions in a category called HISTORY, what are we even fucking doing here?

10

Steve/Tony + complementary qualities

anonymous asked:

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

Money

Health

Emergency

Job

Travel

Better You

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Education

Finances

Job Hunting

Life Skills

Miscellaneous

Relationships

Travel & Vehicles


Other Blog Features

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Adult Cheat Sheet:

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

  • wishing to live independently
  • location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university
  • conflict with your parents
  • being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

  • Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.
  • Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.
  • Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

  • They may worry that you are not ready.
  • They may be sad because they will miss you.
  • They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.
  • They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

  • Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?
  • Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
  • Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.
  • Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.
  • Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.
  • Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

  • Your doctor
  • Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800
  • Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44
  • Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325
  • Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277
  • Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50
  • Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

  • Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.
  • Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
  • Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

3

Urban Spell Components

So, as an urban witch, I have a thing for weird spell components. Probably people have done this before, but i’m going to go ahead and throw mine out there. I’m going to try and do several of these.

First things simple, any small object can be enchanted to do anything you want it to. I have been known to grab small objects and just drop an enchantment on them cause i need a magical object right then and it’s what I have at hand. So don’t be afraid to grab anything you want and drop a blessing, curse, glamor, or basically any kind of spell you want on it.

Hell, my most popular post ever on this hellsite out of four blogs is a jinx using pennies. Make of that as you will.

Onwards.

Soda Tabs:

I mean, come on. It’s a tiny piece of metal. All the potential.

But more importantly, it’s a symbol. On the one hand, it represents a seal and on the other it represents a key.

Want to not just lock something up, but make it airtight, completely and utterly closed? Stick a tab in your spell.

Need a charm to open doors to you, to open people to you, to make friends more easily? Soda tab pendant, or in a mojo bag.

Want to release pressure, vent power, or make a magical bomb? What do we know that pops pressurized containers? Soda tabs.

In the more abstract sense, they’re associated with effervescense. Need to be more bubbly, more sparkly, more light and sweet? Work a tab into your spell as a symbol of releasing that into the world.

Want a variation and like the idea of provenance? Get one from a beer can and use it to symbolically relax your inhibitions so you can be more open to people, cut loose easier, and so on.

Bottle Caps

All that shit I just said about tabs? Conceivably, you could use that shit with a bottle cap. But you could also do a number of other shit.

Now, some y'all may notice I used a screw cap rather than a metal cap. That’s reasons.

Bottle caps make great curse anchors, for one simple reason that can be summed up in two words: “screw you.” Eh? Eh? Who doesn’t like a good pun in their magic?

You can use them to close things, true, but you can also use them as a valve. Ever had to open a soda slowly to release the pressure a little at a time? Now imagine using that as a component. Where the tab is a sudden release, the cap can be metered. There’s a host of reason to use it in that capacity.

Need a charm to help control your third eye? Crank it up or close it down with a bottle cap.

Bottle energy by filling a soda bottle with a charged medium and set it to slow release with a cap only partially sealed.

Need a charm like the soda tab to be open and effervescent, but don’t want it always on? Bottle cap.

And, of course, there’s the lovely little spikes on the damn things. Ever step on one? Yeouch.

Press into your palm if you’re doing an evil eye and want to transmit pain. Add to wards as a deterrent. Work it into curses as a literal stumbling point.

Want to take your sympathetic sacrifice to the next level? Stick one in your shoe for a day and use it to charge up an inconvenience or pain curse, or flip the script and use the pain as a sacrifice to pull down good luck, good fortune, or blessings by trading bad now for good later.

(This, as a sidenote, will work with anything uncomfortable in your shoe.)

Ballpoint Pens

Ok, so at the basic, you can write spells and draw sigils with them. Let’s get that out the way to start.

Moving right along, one of the other basic uses is as a stand in for a wand. The pen makes indelible marks, so it can be added into the casting to make a spell more durable.

But the real fun begins when you consider: it can be taken apart.

Want to banish something? Consider how fricken easy it is to lose a pen. Get a piece of paper and write what or who you want gone. Make it small, because the next thing you’re going to do is open the pen up and wrap that paper around the ink tube. Stick the whole thing back together. Let nature take its course, and when the pen is gone, so’s the issue.

(While I won’t tell you not to use this to banish things that can become someone else’s problem, this is best for things and people that you just want out of your life, not problems you want to pass along.)

And that ability to make scrolls has a thousand and one uses!

Make a lucky pen. Make a money pen, so every time you write a check or balance your books, you call money back to you.

Make a wand more potent. Make cheap and effective curse artillery. Curse that shit and set it loose, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Make a homing missile by writing a targeted spell in it and setting it loose to seek an approproiate target.

Make a whole bunch of lucky pens and cut them loose to bless everyone.

Make a pen to help you with your handwriting, spellcraft, and what not.

And that’s not even getting into blessing a pen so the ink can be used to draw temporary tattoos on your skin that have extra potency, or sigils that are primed for charging, or for magical vandalism. (Vandalize at your own risk.)

Go Wild!

So that’s it for this one. I'mm try and sit down and explain more of this shit that i do in the hopes that you fuckers get some use out of it.

Go forth and be magical!

LUCRETIA

Lucretia didn’t intend to spend as much time as she did away from you, saving the world. She could not live with the cost of what the seven of you did to the world below. She could not sit idly by as the world killed itself pursuing the weapons you created. But she couldn’t go against the will of her friends to fix it; and so that will had to be altered. Moreover, she couldn’t handle what the destruction you caused was doing to you. She couldn’t bear your sorrow, your pain, your guilt; how it made you… miserable, and calloused, and shut off from the world. That anguish, it could be altered too. Before her work could begin, she had to make sure her friends — her family — were safe and happy.

The Bureau thrived. She installed a series of checks and balances among its members, hoping it would counteract the temptation built into these relics. But it wasn’t enough. Without fail, her Reclaimers were lost to the thrall of the grand relics, one by one. And Lucretia was tormented by these failures, by how long this was taking, by how distant she felt from her friends. Few people who have lived have ever experienced such loneliness.

inspired by (x

I keep seeing annoying thinkpieces say that Cap was rejecting the very idea of external oversight of any kind, which— no he wasn’t?? Even remotely??

He was basically saying that he wouldn’t be comfortable signing something unless there was a system of checks and balances in place that would prevent The Avengers from becoming “Winter Soldier Death Squad: USA Edition”. (Yes, I know he didn’t know about the deathsquad at that point. But he’s done his homework on US military policy. His concerns are not unfounded.)

Remember what Bucky said about his former co-workers? “Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in HYDRA history, and that was before the serum. They speak 30 languages. Can hide in plain sight. Infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. They can take a whole country down in one night, you’d never see them coming.” Steve is asking for assurances that whatever governing body gains control of the Avengers won’t decide to use THEM that way— and, in fact, won’t even THINK of them that way. I think that’s part of why he becomes so furious whenever people refer to Bucky, Wanda, Thor, and Bruce as “weapons” instead of people. When you talk about a person as BEING a weapon, you have taken the first step towards using them AS a weapon.

In fact, in many ways, I feel like CACW was basically Watchmen: Redux, but the version Zack Snyder refused to make. The central question is the same: who watches the watchmen?

In Watchmen (book more than movie), the answer is not “no one.” The answer is: different people/groups (and yes, sometimes no one) at different periods throughout history. But remember when the group watching the Watchmen was the US Government? Because when the US Government was in charge, after the Keene Act (cough Sokovian Accords cough), the Watchmen had the option of either retiring, or accepting orders to destabilize foreign governments and commit mass slaughter, all in the name of “keeping order”. AKA, literally what the Winter Soldier Deathsquad in CACW were built for. Remember, Hydra’s #1 goal is “order”, but an authoritarian order that they get to decide and enforce.

In CACW, I don’t see Steve saying “The Avengers are perfect and no one can tell us what to doooooooo!” He knows perfectly well that they are not infallible (see A:AoU). But he also knows that on the ground and in the field, things go FUBAR and you have to restrategize and do the best with what you have at the time. One of Cap’s superpowers is his instinct for strategy in battle (clearly serum-based, since pre-serum Steve Rogers’ favorite strategy was “spend entire life running into brick walls both metaphorical and literal”). He is asking: will the Accords allow him to use that power? Would he be allowed to use his own judgment? Would the rest of his team? INCLUDING Tony? When Tony flew the nuclear bomb up into the sky-hole way back in The Avengers, he was essentially violating the will of the government agency that decided to nuke NYC, because he saw a way to stop the invasion without causing the deaths of millions. Would the policies of the Accords allow him to make that decision (or a parallel one) in the future, or would he be arrested and locked up for violating his “contract”?

I mean, sure, in the midst of the initial discussion, Peggy dies, so Steve bails, and then all the Bucky stalking starts up and Steve is all “I WILL BURN DOWN THE WORLD FOR HIM, SEE IF I WON’T”, so the initial conflict gets ratcheted up about a million times, but the central question of “who gets to be in charge of these superpowered weirdos, and what does being in charge really mean” still runs through the whole plot. It runs parallel to the question of Bucky’s culpability. When you are turned into a weapon and used as a weapon, are you to blame for the destruction that follows?

I keep seeing the conflict framed as this—

TONY: We need to be held accountable!
CAP: No we don’t!

But I don’t see that at all in the actual movie. I see this—

TONY: We need to be held accountable!
CAP: Accountable to whom? And what does being held accountable mean?

[feelings-based punching breaks out, no one ever answers Cap’s implied question, Tony himself finds out that being “held accountable” means being shoved into the nautical oubliette where you get de-powered and possibly beaten for the rest of your life, T’Challa proves that his government is the only one that should be trusted to be in charge of anything]

psa: do not order anything from the official twenty one pilots website right now

there’s been several fans coming forward and saying that after ordering merch they had money stolen.
there’s most likely somebody behind the account taking card information, so please don’t order anything for the time being!
if you have ordered something pretty recently, check your balance and transactions right now just to be sure. fueled by ramen is on it now to see what’s going on.

It’s time to face up to the scary reality here. Most people now realize, I think, that Donald Trump holds basic American political values in contempt. What we need to realize is that much of his party shares that contempt.
— 

Judas, Tax Cuts and the Great Betrayal

On Pod Save America, Favreau reminded us that the checks and balances and systems that were put into place by the Founding Fathers are still there, and that we are in our current nightmare in large part because the Republican-controlled Congress won’t use them.

Those men and women swore an oath to uphold the Constitution, and they are currently breaking that oath. Every single one of them needs to be removed from office.

Steal my car, I'll wreck your life.

Back story, i am apart of a small family-owned type used car dealership (cue used car salesman joke here) we have maybe 50 cars on the lot at any time and our main business is sub-prime or people with less than perfect credit. We truly want to help the people that can’t afford/have the credit to buy from a new car dealership. We’re actually very liked in our small community.

So recently I had these customers, lets call her wife and him husband (They’re early 20’s). They come into my store and I like them, they seem like a nice young couple trying to start their lives out, they have two very sweet little girls, and could just use a break. They have made some mistakes in their early lives and have less than perfect credit. I coach them on how to improve their credit and they seem sincerely interested in fixing it so I bust my ass to get them a loan with the wifes mother cosigning on a nice third row SUV. Wife is literally crying hugging me because every other dealer turned them down. Now they are a little short on the down payment so i take a check for the balance and we agree i’ll cash it on his next payday (Mistake number one) but pretty common in this line of work.

I forget about them until the next week when I drop the check at the bank along with other deposits. The next thing i know i receive a notice that the check has bounced. Along with a couple NSF fees attached for me, and the check comes back. It’s a dollar amount that is considered a first degree misdemeanor in our state, just under a felony. I reach out to wife to see what happened and how we can make arrangements to get this taken care of. The last thing I want to do is go after a young couple with two small kids. At first wife is a little shocked and insists the funds were pulled from their account and I show them the picture of the NSF check. She understands and says they can pay half in 2 weeks when she’s paid again and in another 2 weeks pay the other half. I agree to this and just take them on their word (mistake 2).

A couple weeks rolls around and I don’t hear from wife or husband and am now thinking i’ve been taken for a ride Ignoring my calls/texts/etc you get the point. I get a call from the bank and come to find out they haven’t made their first payment either.

Now with this particular bank if the customer does not make their first payment we have to “Buy Back” the deal. Basically we have to give the bank the money they sent us for the loan. After blowing up their phones and facebook they finally call me back. I get the sob story he got let go from his job and he just started a new one and mom is going to help them get back on their feet. I go through hell and high water with the bank to make a deal that if they make their payment they’ll keep the loan but i’m still on the hook if they miss any of the next 3 payments. Wife also tells me they’ll make payments to me on the bounced check once he starts getting paychecks. So i agree, they make their payment to the bank and i go about my life….Until the next month comes around.

I get an email from the bank saying wife didn’t make the next months payment and won’t answer their calls. At this point i’m furious and ready to just go get their vehicle. They won’t answer any of my calls and call mom, mom scrounges everything in her social security paycheck to help try to make the payment for them and is short. Wife and husband tells her they’ll cover the balance and of course don’t pay. Bank says deal is a buyback we need our money back for the loan within 7 days. Now the only way I can payback their loan is if my floor plan (Basically giant credit card we buy cars on) gets pictures of the car in my possession.

I try to call/text/email/message on facebook to get ahold of both wife and husband and they block me on everything. They’re basically just stealing the vehicle without paying. They even blocked mom who has been trying to help them get this handled, yes they screwed over their own mother in this ordeal. I just want the vehicle back and move on with life. So this is where i go @prorevenge on them.

I begin by dropping the check off at the local prosecutor, and they’re delighted to file charges against them. I do some skip tracing calling family members, all of which are more than happy to help because come to find out husband has had 7 jobs in 4 months and has burned every single family member with money they’ve borrowed. I find wifes Father on Facebook, Father has been trying to take custody of deadbeat wife and husbands 2 kids because of how they treat them. He informs me they are staying in sisters house right over the border (we are on the state line of 2 states remember this) I call up a repo company and even myself drive the hour to go get the vehicle. They’ve been hiding it in the garage (according to neighbors and repo company). I do some searching and find out they’re both on probation for stealing a bunch of stuff from multiple stores. So I of course find and call up Mrs. Probation officer to see if she has a last known address. I then mention to her they’re staying above the state line and bounced a very large check to me, and they’re facing fresh charges in my town, she appreciates the knowledge.

Now while I was up at their house one evening I talk to one of the neighbors (Who also hate them they’re always yelling at their kids and eachother) and convince neighbor to call me if they see the vehicle outside. It took one day, I get the call, I send a very large friend who lives nearby them to go get the vehicle. After many expletives, berating my friend, they hand over the vehicle. But not before finally calling me while he was there and tell me how they’re going to sue and blah blah.

I’m out quite a bit of money from the ordeal, but here’s the best part. I just found out by living out of state they violated probation and just got sentenced to 30 days in jail from that, and they also just had their “video court date”(because they’re currently in jail with the probation violation) with the local judge on the new charges of the bounced check. I got my vehicle back and guess what? Deadbeat wife’s Father got custody of the 2 kids.

2

TLoT  C O U N T D O W N  C H A L L E N G E // favorite grisha   →   THE SUN SUMMONER & THE DARKLING

“You were meant to be my balance, Alina. You are the only person in the world who might rule with me, who might keep my power in check.”

“And who will balance me?” The words emerged before I thought better of them, giving raw voice to a thought that haunted me even more than the possibility that the firebird didn’t exist. “What if I’m no better than you? What if instead of stopping you, I’m just another avalanche?”

Tips For A Broke Hoe✨

1. Download your bank’s app onto your phone so you can check your account balance and transactions. This can help prevent you from spending too much money, keep track of what you’re buying and how often, and can also catch identity and bank theives early so you don’t lose all your money.
2. Get a job with a place you shop at frequently. A majority of retail companies give their employees some generous discounts (for example I work at Kohls and we get 15% normally, plus frequent 20/20/15% stacked friends and familu discounts, plus frequent 35% off everything discounts, AND employees can stack coupons and Kohl’s cash when other customers can’t).
3. COUPONS HOE!!! Clip coupons from paper ads, download RetailMeNot, and sign up for the free Rewards programs with your fav stores to get updates on sales and additional coupons.
4. Try to avoid vending machines and eating out. This’ll help you stop eating junk food as much, and save you some dough.
5. If you’re dissatisfied with a product (especially makeup), EMAIL THE COMPANY. They will typically compensate you with a refund, or a coupon, or even a free alternative product.
6. Keep your receipts for expensive items or items that you aren’t too sure about, and familiarize yourself with that store’s return policy.
7. Take advantage of student discounts. A lot of fast food places and clothing stores aaccept discounts with your student ID.
8. Cheap But Amazing Makeup Brands: MAKEUP REVOLUTION, NYX, ELF, Essence, Maybelline, Covergirl, and Loreal Paris (all available at Ulta, Target, Walmart, or your local pharmacy)
9. Talk to your bank about setting up a Certificate of Deposit (CD). This is a particular savings account that when you invest your money, it accumulates mote interest over a set amount of time, so when yhat time is up you have more money than what you started with. Be careful with these though, because interest rates can vary, and if you withdraw any money from your CD before the set time is up, you can lose your interest or even your original funds. This is good for saving up bulk amounts of money for college, cars, or a home.
10. Set up budgets for each week/month/year to regulate your spending. Categorize your money imto things like “Food,” “Clothes,” “Gas,” “Personal Care,” “Bills,” etc.
11. Order water at restaurants. At fast food places, ask for a water cup. Water is ALWAYS free, and it’s much healthier for you than soft drinks.
12. Unplug your chargers/cords when you arent using that shit to save on your electricity bill.
13. Shop👏at👏the👏Goodwill👏. They have actual cute, retro shit for way cheaper than your typical bougie places.
14. A lot of times you can get FREE SHIT by filling out surveys on your reciepts after shopping somewhere. Ulta enters you into a lottery to win a $500 gift card, Kohl’s gets you more coupons, etc.
15. Set aside $5 every week. You’ll save over $200 by the end of the year to treat yourself with.
16. Sluggbooks.com is AMAZING for buying college textbooks. It compares prices and rental fees among different websites and companies to help you get the best deal.
17. RENT👏YOUR👏TEXTBOOKS👏ITS👏SO👏MUCH👏CHEAPER👏
18. Take advantage of free concerts, parks, festivals, etc as somethin to do. Who said you gotta spend money to have fun?
19. Sell, return, or donate shit you don’t need or want. Liking everything you have (clothes, makeup, appliances, etc) is gonna keep you organized and simple, and gives you an idea of what you want/need so you go into a store without splurging on even more shit you don’t need (I know its a little confusing, but trust me your life will be so much easier)
20. I know this should be obvious, but have a good work ethic. You’re more likely to get raises and promotions. Every single is a potential reference, and you never know when you’ll be in a pinch for money and may need that job back temporarily.
21. Don’t waste all of your money on stupid shit like drugs or alcohol; its expensive and toxic for your beautiful body anyway.
22. Keep your bills, receipts, taxes, insurance policies, and other important personal information in the same organized place (I recommend a labelled file cabinent or binder). Financial organization is 🔑
23. Keep a journal of everything you buy & how much you spent in a month. At the end of each month, review and assess what were necessary buys and what you can cut down on next month.
24. If you’re a college student, a lot of schools have a free gym membership. Use it.

Thats all for now, hoes💎
8

Tony Stark just barely convincing Ross to give him and Natasha a chance to fix things instead of going after his fellow Avengers with “boys and bullets.”

I need to talk about this scene, and how it illustrates why I have genuine BAFFLEMENT that people want to convince me that Tony Stark cares about no one but himself.

Keep reading

Cue dogpile.

My on-again-off-again gaming group has developed something of a tradition: When someone in the group says or does something that annoys the rest of party, they non-canonically dogpile the offender and roll an attack against them. Some are more serious-ish, some are more silly-ish, and it got carried over from Pathfinder to a Shadowrun one-shot at one point. Instances of this include:

DM: [Rogue], you failed to disarm the trap. Everyone roll reflex. *Everyone rolls.* Who failed? *Show of hands.* Y’all take 22 damage from the fireball trap, the rest of you take 11.
Rogue: Except me, I have Evasion.
Ranger: Wait, so the guy who got the rest of us hurt gets off scot free?
Rogue: This is my smug face.
Ranger: …Fuck no. You get hurt now.
(Cue dogpile. This is the one that started the tradition.)

DM: [Ranger], that is such a poor survival roll that not only do you fail to find enough food for the party, what you do bring back makes them all sick.
(Cue dogpile.)

Decker: I never understood the whole hatred of Comic Sans. I’ve always kinda liked it.
(Cue dogpile.)

Cleric: C’mon, [Ranger], you haven’t rolled above an 8 all night! I swear, just one more time
Sorcerer: Seriously!
Ranger: I’m trying, guys! I really am! *Rolls a 9. Facepalms.*
Cleric and Sorcerer: AAARRRGGGHHH!!
(Cue dogpile.)

DM: So [Cleric] opens the tomb and the most godawful stench any of you have ever smelled wafts forth. Everyone takes 1 CON damage and needs to make a fort save to not be nauseated.
Cleric: I believe I have made a grave error.
(Cue two dogpiles, one for the CON damage, the other for the pun.)

DM: [Rogue], roll me a balance check, DC 15.
Rogue: *Nat 1.*
DM: You fall off the wall and break the dragon egg.
(Cue dogpile.)
Rogue: Wait, DC 15? I make that without even rolling.
DM: You rolled a nat 1.
Rogue: On a skill check, not an attack roll or a save!
Sorcerer: Actually, you know what? Yeah, he’s right. Nat 1s and nat 20s don’t apply to skill checks.
Half the table: They don’t?
DM: *Checks rules while us players argue amongst ourselves.  (Shit My Players Say is actually mentioned more than once.)* …Huh. So they don’t.
Rogue: Ha! Told’ja! …I’m rolling twice for this one…
(Cue dogpile on the DM.)

Asteroids in retrograde, just as with planets, symbolize Karma that needs to be worked on for a person in this lifetime.  The nature of Retrograde shows the internalization of the traits of the Asteroids.  This can be done so the person learns to deal with the nature of the asteroid that they struggled with a prior incarnation.

Retrograde asteroids can have an impact on the a person the same way Retrograde planets have.   This can result in varied effects on the expression of the asteroids nature for a person.  Sometimes i can help the person be more aware of the asteroids presence and effects, sometimes it can hinder them. The deepest impact felt by asteroids in retrograde come from the asteroids of Chiron, Juno, Vesta, Ceres, and Pallas.



As with all retrograde occurrences the Chiron’s nature is more internalized into the consciousness.   In this life the wounding occurring from Chiron is attaching deeper into the conscious level making the wounding more apparent. Chiron in Retrograde can create a scenario where a wounding during the life is so deep the person is always conscious is always aware of it.  The individual most likely will have troubles moving forward from the pain they received causing psychological troubles..  

The house Chiron is in tells where the wound most likely occurred along with the traits affected in the person’s life.  This house may have trouble expressing itself due to the severe wounding received attached to the consciousness.  In a sense Chiron in retrograde acts like a second Saturn in the chart limiting the person potentially in the house it sits in.  However where Saturn offers lessons and the lifting of Karma, Chiron’s effects can be constant.

Chiron in Retrograde can be a karmic lesson that teaches the person about pain not dealt with in a past life.  Another possible scenario from this retrograde is the person is dealing with acknowledgment of wounding and pain they inflicted upon others.  For the person to move forward in life this position forces them to get of of their comfort zone and seek the aid of others to cope and move forward.  Once the native learns how to do deal with Chiron’s wounding, he is stronger and more able to repay karmic debts and help others in the way the wounded healer likes.

If the person chooses to drown in their pain instead of moving forward it may always be difficult for them.  This can set the tone possibly to relive this same karma in another incarnation.  The person must take responsibility for finding how to cope with the deepest wounds the feel.  Whether it’s through soul searching or by  opening themselves up to help from others.  Whichever way the person must face their deepest wounds of their own accord.



With retrograde Juno in an individual’s birth chart a person can internalize and think more about marriage and partnerships in general.  Juno in retrograde may make the individual possess a Libra-like attachment to relationships in their life. This comes from their constant internal contemplation of relationships in their life.  An individual here with this retrograde can think a lot about the fairness, equality, sacrifice, and overall commitment a union.

A system of checks and balances internally can be in play over how relationships are valued.  With Juno retrograde the person can possibly have struggles committing to a union due to thinking about their complexities.  This can make them come across as shy and potentially have issues approaching suitable partners.  Conversely the person can consider the benefits of forming a marriage of business partnerships.  Relationships may be so important to them they are more aggressive in pursuing them after seeing their benefits.

In some cases the individual may internalize the things they like or dislike so much they have struggle achieving balance in a relationship.  Internalizing issues they face in their partnerships can have a tendency to cause resentment.  Partnerships in general may carry an unhealthy nature and lack of balance to them.  Power struggles can be a possibility due to potential communicating issues with Juno in Retrograde.  In a marriage union peak intimacy moments may be hard to come by with the struggles of expressing internalized thoughts.  

A Juno retrograde person may find themselves attracted to passive aggressive partners whom don’t want to deal with conflict.  This can serve as a basis to agitate partnerships that face troubles.  The structure of the relationship in this case can be prone to long term failures.  This can be attributed to the fact that neither partner wants to come out and deal with the reality of issues surrounding the partnership.

The Juno in retrograde person can be very sensitive to the overall condition of a partnership.  Partnerships in trouble can make them think about the imbalances more.  Despite the imbalance the internalized nature of thinking about partnership may also lead to good things.  They can identify the problems in a union that need to be solved.  This person can be more consciously aware of what needs adjustment.  

A person with Juno retrograde just might have a karmic position here of having to step outside themselves to re-balance the union by taking the initiative. Karma through the retrograde Juno can be tied to a past life when the person didn’t consider the value of relationships.  Perhaps they were too eager to get into relationships and were in them just out of fear of loneliness or societal pressure.  Another possibility can be in a past life they avoided relationships altogether and were reclusive.  Whichever avenue occurred the person with Retrograde Juno now is forced to consider internally over relationships due to the nature of a retrograde.



When Vesta is retrograde in a natal birth horoscope the person can be seen as born from another lifetime when devotion and dedication was underdone and left bare.  It can also indicate an opposing scenario where there was obsession with dedication and service which caused issues.  Whichever occurrence happened the individual’s soul felt an imbalance between their service and dedication, and the rest of their life.

With Vesta in retrograde the energy from the areas of desire for dedication and devotion are merged with the internal consciousness.  These areas of life are contemplated often since they are a part of the consciousness and the person is forced to acknowledge it.  This can force a person to make up for their mistakes of imbalance in a precious incarnation.  The key is patience with Vesta in Retrograde.  Avoiding obsession or neglect so they person can live a more balanced life.

With this retrograding of Vesta in the birth chart it can be seen as a soul lesson from the universe.  The universe is teaching the value of service but at a steady rate.  If too much or too little dedication is employed the person’s quality of life can suffer.   If too much dedication is employed the same effect can be felt as the overall well-being can be compromised.  

The basic nature of Vesta is to take a break from obsessions at times. With the internalization and increased awareness of how the person dedicates they can see the need to make adjustments in this area.  They can understand on a conscious level that too much devotion can hurt the balance of their partnerships, working on their own growth, and take away from the family life. In the same token they may see that not enough devotion and dedication can leave a person feeling void and empty without any direction.  Potentially this can lead to struggle with partnerships or supporting a family financially as example.



With Asteroid Ceres retrograde in a natal birth chart the person can have struggles with nurturing received.  The nurturing could have been void in their life or some cases were inconsistent.  The mother or nurturing parent specially could have factored significantly into this issue; though it can be any form of nurturing and love that should of been received.  The nature of Retrograde Karma shows the energy the Ceres asteroid represents becomes internalized and part of the conscious awareness.  

Internally the person may sense a part of the human experience is missing for them.   The internalization of ceres’ energy may lead an individual to struggle to express nurturing.  It could be that they do not understand how to nurture or they feel insecure about it since it is distant to them.  This can be because it was not stressed as appropriate behavior in their upbringing.  With this the person may possibly have issues with seeking relationships or allowing someone to assist or in some cases even love them.

This can all stem from past life karma where the person may of been dependent upon others to bolster them with nurturing.  They may of sought nurturing and love from others instead of learning how to take care of themselves.  Now with retrograde Ceres there is an internal need to learn how to nurture themselves and not rely on others.  By taking care of their own needs they can fill a void missing inside of themselves.  In the process they can learn the value of nurturing so they can learn how to nature others better as well.  The sign and house position of Ceres can give indications of the area nurturing was problematic for them.



With Pallas retrograde in a natal birth horoscope we see where a person becomes more consciously aware of the traits of Pallas internally.  In this case the person thinks and considers their creative intelligence, overall wisdom and ability to stand up for one self-more.  This is due to the true nature of retrograde celestial bodies which shows the internalization of the traits of the retrograde body.  Retrograde Karma is working to make the person more aware of Pallas traits so they can help develop them better.

In a past life the person may have struggled with rushing in before thinking things over.  There could’ve been issues with desire of protecting what they thought was valuable.  Struggles could have existed with developing a sense of wisdom through experience.  Standing up for what they thought was fair and showing confidence in their beliefs may have been an issue for them.  Being fair to themselves and others may have been a recurring problem potentially they dealt with.

Coming into this life Pallas in retrograde can serve the purpose of burning the traits of Pallas into the conscious thinking to correct these issues.  This can help by making the creative intelligence always active and in motion internally. The value of taking action becomes a part of their regular thinking.  They can become a better strategist and consider their moves more.  This can help a person develop patience and consider their moves more in life.

The conscious side of a person can also consider more the value of applying what they learn.  Developing more wisdom and understand internally the value of what they learned is a karmic lesson here.  The Pallas retrograde can help the person think about what they find value in.  This can be from karma moving the person to develop and understanding of the importance of their beliefs. Now an understand internally may develop of what is worth fighting for.