So I was gonna dedicate my famous hot chocolate recipe to the show Yumeiro Patissiere but there’s a fandom that needs this comforting drink of perfection so much more right now.
prayer circle for snk prayer circle for jean weeps forever
AHEM ANYWAY. Lets talk hot chocolate. There are so many ways you can make hot chocolate, but there are two main ways.
way #1: the shit way. Get Hershey Swiss bullshit outta my face.
way #2: the rad way.
If you’re doing hot chocolate right, you’re not gonna need a hot chocolate mix, fuck, you’re not even gonna need sugar.
That’s the way I’m gonna show you right now. It’s literally the perfect drink because it’s warm, creamy, but it’s flavor’s hella complex because of spices and all that jazz. It’s basically art.
Perfect Hot Chocolate (aka Perfect Fandom Coping Mechanism) (serves: 2-3)
¾ cup milk
2/3 (14 oz) can of coconut cream
½ cup heavy cream
9 oz bittersweet chocolate chunks/chips/etc.
1/8 tsp salt
1 pinch nutmeg
2 pinches cinnamon
2 pinches cardamom
½ pinch cayenne pepper
½ tsp vanilla extract
*THESE ARE ALL VERY FLEXIBLE MEASUREMENTS. If you want it creamier, add more chocolate. Spicier? More cinnamon and cayenne. Coconut-ier? More coconut cream? Thinner? more milk. The choice is yours, nerd.
Add all ingredients into a medium sized sauce pan over medium heat, stirring constantly until all the chocolate is melted and the drink is sort of thick and hella creamy.
Taste the hot chocolate and add whatever extras you think it needs. You da boss bro. You da boss.
Wow. you are totally done making the most elaborate and delicious hot chocolate EVER.
Real talk, I think it’s legitimately physically impossible to dislike this hot chocolate. Like it literally has anything anyone could ask for. I’m betting real money that if you asked this hot chocolate to be the best man at your wediding, it would without question, regardless of it’s gender (does hot cocoa have a gender? idk).
So enjoy it. Love it. Because once the secret gets out that you are a hot chocolate connoisseur, you will never be able to make this angelic gift from god again without people hulking around you like mini titans.
Imagine Kris shopping very quietly in a dollar store. Its ceilings are low, aisles are slim, floor is carpeted. Everything feels muted. Kris pokes an 8-pack of disposable shower caps into his basket with his other odd purchases: a box of tropical Mike & Ike, a lighter, two bottles of uncoated aspirin, a glass flower vase, sunflower seeds, bobby pins, Fabuloso, greeting cards, Pixie Stix, sponges, hand soap, gauze, and fudge stripe cookies.
The checker at the register is scanning other customers’ purchases in near silence, save for the quiet boop noise of the barcode scanner and rustling of plastic bags. Totals are read in hushed tones, cash is handed over without response.