checkered cookie

8

So I was gonna dedicate my famous hot chocolate recipe to the show Yumeiro Patissiere but there’s a fandom that needs this comforting drink of perfection so much more right now.

prayer circle for snk
prayer circle for jean
weeps forever

AHEM ANYWAY. Lets talk hot chocolate. There are so many ways you can make hot chocolate, but there are two main ways.

way #1: the shit way. Get Hershey Swiss bullshit outta my face. 

way #2: the rad way.

If you’re doing hot chocolate right, you’re not gonna need a hot chocolate mix, fuck, you’re not even gonna need sugar.

That’s the way I’m gonna show you right now. It’s literally the perfect drink because it’s warm, creamy, but it’s flavor’s hella complex because of spices and all that jazz. It’s basically art.

~

Perfect Hot Chocolate (aka Perfect Fandom Coping Mechanism)
(serves: 2-3)

-

Ingredients*-

  • ¾ cup milk
  • 2/3 (14 oz) can of coconut cream
  • ½ cup heavy cream
  • 9 oz bittersweet chocolate chunks/chips/etc.
  • 1/8 tsp salt
  • 1 pinch nutmeg
  • 2 pinches cinnamon
  • 2 pinches cardamom
  • ½ pinch cayenne pepper
  • ½ tsp vanilla extract

*THESE ARE ALL VERY FLEXIBLE MEASUREMENTS. If you want it creamier, add more chocolate. Spicier? More cinnamon and cayenne. Coconut-ier? More coconut cream? Thinner? more milk. The choice is yours, nerd.

~

Procedure-

  • Add all ingredients into a medium sized sauce pan over medium heat, stirring constantly until all the chocolate is melted and the drink is sort of thick and hella creamy.
  • Taste the hot chocolate and add whatever extras you think it needs. You da boss bro. You da boss.
  • Top with whipped cream, add a dollop of vanilla ice cream, or eat with some chocolate chip or checker cookies

~

Wow. you are totally done making the most elaborate and delicious hot chocolate EVER. 

Real talk, I think it’s legitimately physically impossible to dislike this hot chocolate. Like it literally has anything anyone could ask for. I’m betting real money that if you asked this hot chocolate to be the best man at your wediding, it would without question, regardless of it’s gender (does hot cocoa have a gender? idk).

So enjoy it. Love it. Because once the secret gets out that you are a hot chocolate connoisseur, you will never be able to make this angelic gift from god again without people hulking around you like mini titans.

Later, nerds. Enjoy the recipe.

Imagine Kris shopping very quietly in a dollar store. Its ceilings are low, aisles are slim, floor is carpeted. Everything feels muted. Kris pokes an 8-pack of disposable shower caps into his basket with his other odd purchases: a box of tropical Mike & Ike, a lighter, two bottles of uncoated aspirin, a glass flower vase, sunflower seeds, bobby pins, Fabuloso, greeting cards, Pixie Stix, sponges, hand soap, gauze, and fudge stripe cookies.

The checker at the register is scanning other customers’ purchases in near silence, save for the quiet boop noise of the barcode scanner and rustling of plastic bags. Totals are read in hushed tones, cash is handed over without response.

Kris thinks he has entered an alternate universe.

“What are you two up to?”

“Playing checkers.” Weiss replied, not taking her eyes off the playing board.

“Oh.”

Yang squinted curiously at the pieces.

“Never seen a set like that before. They look like cookies.”

“They are cookies." Drawled the heiress as she made her move and settled back to watch Ruby scowl. "I had to find some way to motivate her.”

Keep reading

5

So you know those cookies that are in like every fucking anime under the sun?

those weird ass checker cookie things?

ye. those things looked hella. So I decided to make them because they look anime as fuck.

Here’s a recipe, nerds.

~
Those Rad Anime Checker Cookies
(serves: a lot of anime people idk)

-

Ingredients for the white part-

  • 1 1/8  cups all purpose flour
  • ¼ tsp salt
  • 1 stick unsalted butter
  • 6 Tbsp cup granulated sugar
  • ¼ cup confectioners sugar
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract

Ingredients for the chocolate part-

  • ¾  cups all purpose flour
  • ¼ cups + 2 Tbsp Dutch processed cocoa powder
  • ¼ tsp salt
  • 1 stick unsalted butter
  • ¼ cup VERY finely chopped bittersweet chocolate chips
  • 6 Tbsp cup granulated sugar
  • ¼ cup confectioners sugar
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract

~

Procedure for the white part-

  • Melt the butter
  • Using an electric mixer, whisk in the sugars until they’re fully incorporated and sorta fluffy.
  • Then add in in the egg, whisking a shit ton, then the vanilla.
  • Then, super gradually, whisk in dat flour and salt until they’re all combined. 
  • Take the dough out onto the counter and cut it in half, rolling them into thick logs and refrigerating them for like 3 hours.

-

Procedure for the black part-

  • Melt the butter
  • Using an electric mixer, whisk in the sugars and the chocolate until they’re fully incorporated and sorta fluffy. THERE SHOULD BE NO CHOCOLATE CHUNKS IN THE DOUGH, YO.
  • Then add in in the egg, whisking a shit ton, then the vanilla.
  • Then, super gradually, whisk in the flour, cocoa and salt until they’re all combined. 
  • Take the dough out onto the counter and cut it in half, rolling them into thick logs and refrigerating them for like 3 hours.

~

Assembling all dis shit and makin it look pretty-

  • Preheat the oven to 350 F
  • Take the logs out and cut them until they’re more square-ish than loggish, u feel me. 
  • You can cut them rectangle log things smaller if you want small cute lil cookies, or you can leave em big. You do you, boo.
  • Take 2 vanilla logs and two chocolate logs and press them into one larger, checkerboard looking rectangle thing. 
  • Then, using a sharp knife, cut the rectangle log so that you have lil checker cookies. 
  • Once you’ve cut all your cookies, place them on a baking sheet covered in parchment and bake for about 10-12 minutes if you made small cookies or 15 minutes if you made bigger cookies.
  • Take them out of the oven and let them cool for like 15 minutes
  • Eat that nonsense and pretend you’re a moeblob animu character because you flippin deserve it you weeb loser.

~

And bam. we done. We just made the most anime cookie ever. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

Legit, you can watch almost any anime to find these lil shits. It’s so great. It’s like the ultimate anime food.

Anyway, try not to say ‘desu’ at the end of each of your fucking sentences and have a marvelous, cookie-filled day you wonderful pieces of trash.

LATER~

June 22, 2015

  1. Capricorn
     Candy
     Brown

  2. Scorpio
     Towel
     Pink

  3. Taurus
     Merry-go-round
     Orange

  4. Pisces
     Treatment
     Gold

  5. Cancer
     Manga
     Light blue

  6. Leo
     Iced coffee
     Grey

  7. Aries
     Planetarium
     Blue

  8. Virgo
     Toy
     White

  9. Libra
     Cookies
     Blue

  10. Aquarius
     Checkered pattern
     Red

  11. Gemini
     Bowling
     Navy

  12. Sagittarius
     Notebook
     Navy