How to Forgive a Cheater

At the time, it seems like a good idea
You think, “he’ll change,”
You think, “everything I have ever done wrong will be forgiven,”
You think, “maybe he will be the exception to the rule”
You’re wrong
It’s haunting
It’s degrading
My self worth has been ground up into ashes of the fire that once burned in my heart for him
I’m empty
But I didn’t know this when i first forgave him
I thought we were a power couple
I thought we could work it out
And he did work it out
But i still haven’t
I see them and i think of you
I see you and i think of them
It’s disgusting how you can be with someone years after their crimes and have the pain rush back like the night you found out
I’ve always been content with choosing to forgive you
I’ve been okay until now
Until I finally resolved where our problems came from
They weren’t the problem
Your actions with them is the problem
Don’t tell me I have to let that go
Because you can’t let go of something burned into your fingertips that smolder my skin every time they touch me
I don’t hate touch
I hate you
If you decide to forgive your cheater
Take one thing from this
It may all seem okay now
But three years from now,
All the emotions you thought you could work through
Will hit you head on and leave you wondering why you didn’t respect yourself enough to leave in the first place
Those emotions will come
And you will try, again, to push them away
But unlike the first time,
I hope you have the courage to push him away instead
You wanna know how to forgive a cheater?
You don’t

If you’re ever cheated on:

Do not ask them to tell you exactly what happened. You may want to know at first but if they tell you, it will repeat over and over in your mind forever.

Don’t blame yourself. They didn’t cheat because you’re inadequate, they cheated because they’re too much of a bitch to end things before they were with someone else.

You can forgive them but you’re never going to forget. When you’re mad, when they do something wrong, that will always be the first thing they will remember. No matter how much you love them, it will always be hard to move completely past it.

Don’t let it ruin your trust with everyone. Just because someone’s a piece of shit doesn’t mean you’re never going to find someone who will treat you right. You deserve to be treated right.

What irritated me most in that entire situation was the fact that I
wasn’t feeling humiliated, or annoyed, or even fooled. Betrayal was
what I felt, my heart broken not just by a guy I was in love with, but
also by, as I once believed, a true friend.
—  Danka V., The Unchosen Life
Staying in a relationship where I know I’m the only faithful one is so detrimental. Little by little each new girl or unsaved phone number tears me apart a little more. I’m not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not loving enough. Not enough. It makes me strive to be more when I should be walking the fuck away. I justify it by telling myself, he always comes back to me. At the end of the day he still settles for me because I won’t go anywhere. So he must love me right? Wrong. He doesn’t love me. He probably never has. People that can’t stay committed to the one person they claim to love probably have no idea what real love is. But god dammit I love the way he laughs and the way he gets so excited about little things like tai food or tv shows. I love the way he calls me baby in the morning when we’re both still half asleep. I love the way I can always tell what he’s thinking just by the look on his face. I love the way he sleeps next to me, back to back with even our feet touching. I love every beautiful lie that falls through his lips. Because even though I know he doesn’t really love me, even though he often tears me apart more often than holds me together; he makes me feel something. He’s one of the only people that’s stuck around for so long that I’ll do anything to keep him. Maybe that’s what an abusive relationship is. Loving someone regardless of everything they do wrong to you. Or maybe I’m just to pathetic to be alone.
—  Late night thoughts on why I hate myself.

Don’t fucking cheat on someone. If you are not happy in the relationship do the respectful thing and break up with your partner. Don’t be a total jack ass and hurt them so badly that they don’t ever want to get into a relationship again. They won’t be able to trust people as well ever again. Just don’t fucking cheat on anyone. 

If he flips out in a rage and tirade of anger, then claims it’s because he’s passionate, just run away quickly. It means he’s only passionate about getting angry, it has nothing to do with love, It has everything to do with his psychosis.

vine

Omg #mclennon “#PaulMcCartney #johnlennon #thebeatles #mclennon #thesehoesaintloyal #cheater”

Why anyone would forgive a cheater is beyond me. Your partner clearly didn't love you enough or they wouldn't have gone out of their way to fuck someone else. Don't get me wrong, monogamy doesn't get rid of temptations or the fact that there's attractive people all around, but if you really loved your partner you'd never go through with cheating. A person deserves better than letting a cheater back into their life, come the fuck on.

This goes out to anyone, if you cheat on somebody, you are scum. There is no way around that. If you are dating someone and then decide to go out on a date or kiss someone else, that is cheating. Do not lie to your significant other about it. Also, if you help your friend cheat on someone, you’re scum as well. Have a good day.

Never apologize too a guy just to get him back. If he cheated on you or messed up don’t apologize for his actions. He will take advantage of you and do it again, because he knows that no matter what you’ll take him back.
This goes for both men and women don’t apologize for their actions.
—  Evy💋