How can you just leave someone’s life? How is it so easy for you? What do you do with all the memories of us laughing and talking at 4am, and habits of texting ‘Good morning’ and 'Goodnight.’ How can you just leave that? Did you never care at all?
—  I want to believe you miss me, but deep down I know you don’t. ( @humanhealing )
I go to bed Every. Single. Fucking. Night. wondering why having me wasn’t enough for you.
You’ve made me doubt love. You’ve made me doubt everything. Your lies spin in my head all day, ‘How did you not see it coming,’ 'Why didn’t you see the signs,’ I blame myself for your mess. Your lies I trusted with my dying breath. You never said you were sorry. You never tried to explain. You just left when you got busted with not so much as a goodbye. Just suddenly, you were no longer a part of my life.
—  Maybe you were a catalyst for my growth, or maybe you were nothing but lies and pain from the start. ( @humanhealing )
some days i regret solving the puzzle. i kind of wish i still lived with all those endless possibilities floating around in my head. with more questions than i had answers. you always wish to know the truth, and you tell yourself that you’d rather know than be left wondering. i don’t believe i feel the same way after you.
I Forgive You

I forgive you for hurting me
I forgive you for loving me for seven years, only to break my heart
I forgive you for breaking my heart in the most devastating way
I forgive you for cheating
I forgive you for ignoring me, for never even calling to break up with me
I forgive you for emotionally abusing me for all those years
I forgive you for taking all my pain, weaknesses, & insecurities & using them against me
To tear down my already limited self-esteem
I forgive you for constantly lying
For constantly making excuses
I forgive you for using me
For walking all over me
I forgive you for manipulating my love for you into putting up with so many problems
So many red flags
I forgive you for insulting me
For publicly humiliating me time and time again
I forgive you for saying such hurtful, scarring things like, “How do you think it makes me feel when one of our friends looks at a girl SMALLER than you & says she’s too BIG for them?”
I forgive you for wasting all of my time
I forgive you for tainting every good memory of my life over our years together with your betrayal
I forgive you for having no remorse
I forgive you

What I can’t forgive is myself
For putting up with you
For putting up with your intolerant, judgmental, & dysfunctional family
For always taking you back whenever you’d cry your eyes out to me because I never wanted to hurt you
For sacrificing my own happiness to stay in an unhealthy relationship to make you happy
For giving you a place to live when you needed it, rent free for 5 years, and never thinking that you were using me
For keeping the pain of our problems inside because I was too embarrassed to tell anyone, even my closest friends, because I knew they’d all judge me for not leaving you
For not having any self-respect
For never listening to other people’s concerns about how you treated me
For still dwelling on our relationship & the pain you’ve caused me after all these months
For not learning these lessons sooner
For not loving myself

Because that’s what it all boils down to, right? I didn’t love myself when I loved you.

Clearly.

But I love myself now. More than ever.

I love the person I’ve become
Stronger, smarter, more resilient, happier…

So, thank you.
Thank you for being weak enough to lie & cheat
Thank you for being a coward & never calling me to end our relationship
Thank you for hurting me in a way I could never have even imagined hurting you
Thank you for making me realize what a wonderful, deserving person I am

I’ve learned & I’ve grown so much. And now I know what I won’t put up with in my next relationship.

Thank you for setting me free for the guy out there who actually deserves me. I can’t wait to give him all the love I have bottled up inside of me that I would’ve wasted on you.