• Jellal, screams: OHMYGOD
  • Erza: What is it and why are you on the counter
  • Jellal: A SPIDER ITS DEADLY.
  • Erza, picks it up: how did a tarantula get in my room
  • Jellal: YOU HAVE CAKE EVERYWHERE WHY WOULDN'T THERE BE
  • Erza: it's just a bug tho
  • Erza: He's fuzzy touch it
  • Jellal: UM NO
  • Erza: TOUCH IT
  • Jellal, running: NONONONO
  • Erza: COME ON HE ISNT THAT BAD
  • Jellal: PLEASE NO
  • -one hour later-
  • Jellal, with spider on his head: OH MY GOD
  • Erza: his name is Patrick.
  • Jellal: oh my Patrick.
  • Erza: he is our pet now.
  • Jellal: what does Patrick want for dinner
  • Erza, listening to Patrick: Chinese.
  • Jellal: good choice bud.
  • Mirajane: Natsu! Lucy! I have an idea
  • Lucy: Yes?
  • Mirajane: I'm going to toss this coin and if I win, you and Natsu have to go on a date!
  • Lucy: ...
  • Natsu, fired up: YOU'RE ON MIRA LETS GO
  • Mirajane: Heads I win, tails you lose
  • Natsu: ok
  • Happy: seems legit
  • Lucy: WAIT NO
  • Mirajane, flipping coin: HEADS! LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE!
  • Natsu: AGAIN
  • Mirajane: TAILS! I WIN!
  • Natsu: WHAT?! I-- Oh.
  • Happy: Oh.
  • Lucy: IDIOTS
  • Me : *washes my face frequently*
  • Me : *washes my makeup off completely*
  • Me : *uses face masks to care for my skin*
  • Me : *drinks water to stay hydrated*
  • Me : *moisturizes*
  • Skin : *allows one tiny pimple to show*
  • Me : You ungrateful fucking child. How dare you. After all I've given you, this is how you repay me?
Wonder Woman, a summary
  • Amazons : Diana, don't risk your life
  • Diana : i'm gonna steal all those armory stuff and kick a God's ass
  • Everyone : Diana stop being so attractive
  • Diana : *gains +10 beauty everytime someone says that*
  • Steve : there's a sniper in that clock tower
  • Diana : i'm going to fucking blow off the tower
  • Soldiers : don't go into the no man's land !!! It's very dangerous !!!!
  • Diana : hold my drink and fucking watch me
  • Arès : kill that woman please
  • Diana : *lifts a goddamn tank*
  • me : do you even catch a breath
  • Diana : *does the little smiling head tilt*
The Ipliers during a total blackout
  • Everyone: *basically screaming and complaining*
  • Bim Trimmer: I can't see!
  • The Host: Me neither!
  • Bim: ...
  • The Host: ...
  • Dr. Iplier: I see what you did there
  • Bim: ...
  • The Host: ...
  • Wilford: But how can you see, everything's dark!
  • Dark: *only overhears his name* Are you saying it's my fault?!
Domestic boyfriends part IV
  • Draco, on the phone with Pansy: so how does it feel being married to a literal sex symbol
  • Draco: *glances over to Harry*
  • Harry: *tries to drink butterbeer while laying on the couch*
  • Harry: *accidentally waterboards himself with butterbeer, coughs for like 5 seconds before trying it again*
  • Draco: it's okay i guess
What SVTFOE Season 2 has Done to our Sweet Children
  • Marco: Stepped her toe out the closet; it was a magical experience for everyone involved. Acquired 16 years of badassery training. Lost her best friend/source of summer fun overnight.
  • Ludo: Gained the father figure he always wanted for two entire days, and it only cost him his soul.
  • Star: Was slowly stripped of her capacity to chill and learned to access the Avatar State of Emotional Breakdowns on command in the process.
  • Jackie: Promoted from bland love interest with two lines to lesbian stereotype love interest and walking plot device. Wanted to try a go at the fabled childhood friend romance, but got roped into an angsty love triangle instead. 100% did not ask for her life to turn into a soap opera, what the hell, Cupid?
  • Tom: Got two (2) homoerotic episodes. Left the rest to the fanfiction writers.
  • Kelly: Made her first appearance and broke up with her boyfriend 6,784 times.
  • Janna: Lives and breathes off Marco being upset, but has discovered her one weakness: Star being upset.
  • Heinous: Took her boyfriend to a couple of /clubs/ last month. [90s laugh track]
  • Eclipsa: I was FROZEN today!
  • Moon: All_of_my_Friends_are_Dead.jpg
  • Toffee: ["The Boys Are Back in Town" plays on repeat for 10 hours]
  • Me: You remind me of the sun
  • Me: Because you're pretty hot
  • Crush: Oh, I thought it was because if you come too close to me I will literally kill you
  • Crush: Both are true