“Kylo Ren [actually] Has Friends”
No seriously. He swears. Actual friends. The shirt proves it.
What makes you think he has no friends? Who told you that he’s a pitiful angry dork who is so intensely lonely that he abducts pretty girls on the flimsiest pretense, and talks to the charred skull of a relative he never met? He demands to know who told you! He will END them! Oh, and did you know Kylo Ren has an eight-pack?
Fic info: takes place right after The Empty Grave. Rating: General. Pairings: Lockwood/Lucy and Holly/her ‘flatmate’. Ao3 link: here
“I leave for one minute and you let me get nicked again.”
“You were gone for a week!”
“Yeah, whatever. Some friend you are.”
Lucy comes home to find the skull missing. On their quest to get him back, Lockwood & Co. discover that the secret to eternal youth might not have been the only thing the Orpheus Society were striving towards.
Yoongi huffed as he shoved the phone back into his pocket
and walked the short way to the house. The modern styled house stood lonely,
the lights still gleaming from the inside as he walked in. All of the guys
stood in the common area, as Yoongi went straight to the staircase.
Woah, there! Yoongi
hyung! Jimin called out, but Yoongi completely ignored. Where have you been? We were pretty sure we
were all going to become uncles by the time you got back! Jimin continued,
giggling as he followed him down the stairs.
Can you not see that I’m
heading downstairs? Yoongi growled as he turned on his heels to look at the
younger roommate, the rest of the guys looking over the edge of the stairwell
at the angered demigod. The room became hot and Jimin looked at Yoongi with
What’s going on? Jin
called from upstairs, but Yoongi glared up at him.
I’m heading to the
Gates. Yoongi snarled and Jin’s eyes went wide for a moment.
Did you – He started
to ask, but Yoongi held up his hand.
I’m going to the
Gates. He turned and walked into his room. Walking up to his closet door,
it was easily disguised, opening the door and walking to the back of the
closet, he felt for the handle. Opening the door once more, he walked down the
He’s taking his merry
fucking time getting here, isn’t he?! Yoongi could hear Hades screaming at
Phobos and Deimos, also known as Fear and Dread.
S-s-sir, you called
him f-f-five minutes a-a-a-ago. Yoongi chuckled as he heard Phobos stutter
to his furious father. Phobos couldn’t hold a normal conversation with anyone
without getting a panic attack, while Deimos spent most of his days hating
everything around him.
FIVE MINUTES TOO LONG!
Hades head was a raging shade of red as Yoongi walked up to the towering
god. Hades stood well above the height of any man and was intimidating, but
Yoongi had dealt with his father’s fury his entire life and couldn’t care less.
You know, if you don’t
start relaxing, you’ll end up in the Styx. Yoongi murmured as he shoved his
hands in his pockets. Hades looked at his son, fire in his eyes as he looked down
at the small stature of his half-human offspring.
Do not speak to me
that way, Yoongi. Hades growled and Yoongi looked around.
Where are the rest of
the Guilty Joys? Yoongi looked at Phobos and Deimos, who looked around with
him. The Guilty Joys were almost like gatekeepers, standing at the entrance to
the Underworld to greet everyone with horror. But today instead of nine, it was
Yoongi, I didn’t call
you hear so you could critique the Joys. Hades murmured and swung his arm
over. The gates of the Underworld opened and Hades ushered his son onto the
boat with Charon, the skeletal gondolier who spent his afterlife paddling in
the new souls of the dead. Yoongi didn’t look at the skeleton soulless man, simply
turning around and looking at his father.
What’s going on, dad? He
asked and Hades looked down at him.
We have a lot to speak
about. Hades grumbled and Yoongi wanted to roll his eyes, but he knew
Alright. What about? Yoongi
murmured and he could feel the heat rise.
Hermes came to the
Underworld today. Hades spoke through gritted teeth, his eyes were black,
his skin a bluish tint, and his face gaunt and unnerving. He told me he was checking up on you and you’ve gotten involved with a
The words tumbled from Hades’ mouth and Yoongi felt his
breathing hitch. He thought he had more time before he would have to breech
this topic with his father, but alas, here he was and Yoongi felt a fire grow
inside of him.
Father, I’ve only just
met her. Yoongi spoke calmly and Hades threw his arms up in the air.
You will not meet with
her ever again. Hades spewed and Yoongi squinted. They now stood on the
edge of the River Styx, the fire burning from Hades’ rage was unbearable, but Yoongi
called upon the cold. The river began to freeze as Yoongi stood before his
You do not control me
anymore. Yoongi spat. The river continued to freeze and Hades looked on
with astonishment, he knew his son was powerful, but this was showing a new
force of nature. I will speak to her
again. Yoongi said before stopping the freezing of the Underworld. Hades
You were always a
stubborn child. Hades spoke calmly. It always amazed Yoongi how quickly his
father could change his tune, but he also sensed a bit of fear in his father’s
Yea, well I learn from
the master. Yoongi retorted and a hearty laugh came from Hades’ lips.
Well there is one more
thing I need to speak to you about. Hades said, beckoning Yoongi into the
large castle-like structure that stood in the middle of the fiery Underworld.
Yoongi walked passed Cerberus, the three-headed dog that he saw as a pet, and
various other strange decorations, like skulls and charred candlesticks. This
burned down mansion was his home for many years, but now, he saw it as a chore
to visit. Hades led his son to the large dining room, it laid vacant, its high
arched ceiling, and expansive table were impressive, but no one really came to
the Underworld for the dinner parties.
Yoongi pulled out a chair and sat down, allowing Hades to
use his power and shrink in size. His once looming stature was now that of a normal
man as he sat down at the head of the table. Yoongi looked at his father.
So what do you need to
speak about? He asked and Hades smiled, his smile was like shark teeth.
Waving his arms over the table, a miniature model of Mount Olympus appeared.
Yoongi could feel his eyes wanting to roll once more. Since the beginning of
time, his father had made it his mission to take down Zeus, but nothing ever
worked. He now sat in the middle of the Underworld listening to his father try
to convince him that this time he could do it, but all Yoongi could think about
was how you were probably sitting alone in your apartment.
Yoongi wasn’t wrong. You had left the common area of your apartment
to sit in your room adjacent to the kitchen. Your eyes staring mindlessly at
the ceiling as you spun the fidget spinner around in circles and sighed.
Sitting up, you walked out to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, when you
noticed that Yoongi’s wallet was sitting on the counter. Walking over to it,
the curious part of you wanted to sift through its contents, but your better
half told you to just walk it over to the house. So as you grabbed your shoes,
you wrote a quick note for your roommate.
Hey, this Greek myth
guy left his wallet. He lives next door, I’m gonna drop it off. If I’m not back
in a few hours, call the cops. *jk, don’t do that!
Anyway, keep up the
studying! Hwaiting! – Y/N
You signed your name, grabbed your phone, keys, and Yoongi’s
wallet, and fluttered out the door. Not knowing the kind of mess you were
Author’s Note: I know it might seem impractical, but I like to think that Yoongi isn’t scared of Hades. Maybe that’s just me, but I think he would almost just find Hades’ behavior to be unbearable.
EDIT: OK FINE also warning for inaccurately portraying the american witch trials and ignoring rowling canon of magic people making the flames harmless. I’ll say the Barebones family just made shit up for that good old righteous Aesthetic.
When Credence was a young boy, Ma took him and Chastity to Salem for two days. He was given a brand new suit of black with shoes so shined that he kept kicking his feet up to look at them until Ma scolded him for fidgeting.