I’m (almost) never petty, but screw this, today I’m gonna be! So the Sprousehart deniers: y'all better take a few seats after this weekend. Also the Coleneti delusionals, riddle me this: KJ is playing a soccer game (with potentially his actual boyfriend Charles mind you) AND his family is in town visiting… is Cole with them like he was when Lili’s family came to Vancouver? Yeah. Thought so.
How were bastards named historically? Did ever existed such a colorfull method as hills-snow-sand-etc?
“Fitzroy” was the general designation for English royal bastards, though it was not without variation. The Beauforts - bastardborn (though legitimated) descendants of John of Gaunt, third son of King Edward III, and his mistress (later wife), Katherine Swynford - probably took their name from a castle owned by John of Gaunt in Montmorency-Beaufort, in the Champagne region of France. Before William, Duke of Clarence - third son of King George III, and successor to his brother George IV - became King as William IV, he had 10 children with the famed actress Dorothea Jordan; each of these children was surnamed “FitzClarence”.
Charles II had a veritable army of illegitimate children by a number of mistresses, with varying surnames for them. His eldest son - the infamous Duke of Monmouth - was initially called James Fitzroy (for obvious reasons) or James Crofts (after the baronet family which took him in while Charles was still in exile), but later adopted his the surname of his wife, the heiress Anne Scott. Another pre-Restoration son was named Charles FitzCharles, and later made Earl of Plymouth (he allegedly had a sister, Catherine FitzCharles, though whether she died young or became a long-lived nun at Dunkirk is unclear). His children by the notorious Barbara Palmer were surnamed “Fitzroy” (even the youngest, who was almost certainly fathered by another of her mother’s lovers), but his son by Louise de Kerouaille was given the surname “Lennox” and made Duke of Lennox when he was three years old (having been made Duke of Richmond the month before). Charles also had two children with the actress Nell Gwynn, Charles and James. According to a (probably apocryphal) story, Nell summoned six-year-old Charles by saying “Come hither, little bastard, and speak to your father”, and when chastened by Charles for calling their son as such, replied that she had no other name to call him; whatever the actual story, Charles eventually gave the boy the surname “Beauclerk” and the title Duke of St. Albans and Earl of Burford. Perhaps most surprisingly, Charles II’s daughter by Moll Davis - another actress and great rival to Nell Gwynn - was named Mary Tudor.
What pisses me off even more is looking back at how easy the clues for CeCe were. We spent hours and hours analyzing Wren’s scenes and clues we got from social media and everything made perfect sense. His clues were so much in depth, him talking about his dad’s mental issues, ambiguous loss, that whole Mona scene, his OCD, Eddie being so sketchy of him, him literally colouring that fucking picture of the family in red while talking to someone about Mrs. Hastings and how you can’t trust anyone, “I’ll take care of my end, you take care of yours”, “Walkin’ After Midnight”, LauREN, and on and on but none of that apparently meant anything but all CeCe had to do was wear a black hoodie? Fuck outta here.