charles raymond

the 99 squad as john mulaney quotes
  • Jake Peralta: I have had a very long day. I am very small... and I have no money... so you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.
  • Amy Santiago: Occasionally you get that one person that says "I really like that one part of this joke" and you go, "Oh thank you that's my favorite part too." But no, in order for it to be authentic hopefully you have jokes that everyone can just get on board with and then you have a few things for yourself.
  • Charles Boyle: The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.
  • Rosa Diaz: Some babies will point at me, and I don't care for that shit at all.
  • Raymond Holt: When I was a little boy, I was more like a 67-year-old gay man that's kind of over it sexually.
  • Terry Jeffords: Everyone get out of my way! I just want to sit here and feed my birds.
  • Gina Linetti: I look like I was just sitting in a room in a chair eating saltines for like, 28 years, and then I walked right out here.
  • Kevin Cozner: I'll keep my emotions right here, and then one day, I'll die.
  • Cheddar: Why do people shush animals? They've never spoken.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine has the best cold opens ever, so i’d thought id make a list if my faves… so without further ado…

• “a big ol Diane Weast infection” has to be one of my all time faves.
•"i don’t think Charles is talking about the oldest perp he arrested" (the quote might be wrong, oh well?) this kills me every time
•"the full bull pen" is also amazing
•"HOT DAMN" is another personal fave
•"cool present babe!“ Is hilarious aka Amy’s bomb scare
•Holts dance off also cracks me up…

Feel free to add to the list

7

Attention, squad…

  • Looks Like They Could Kill You But Is Actually a Cinnamon Roll: Terry Jeffords
  • Looks Like A Cinnamon Roll But Could Actually Kill You: Amy Santiago
  • Looks Like A Cinnamon Roll And Is Actually A Cinnamon Roll: Jake Peralta
  • Looks Like They Could Kill You And Can Actually Kill You: Rosa Diaz
  • Might Accidentally Kill themselves From Eating Too Many Cinnamon Rolls: Charles Boyle

“NINE NINE!”

okay so I just feel the need to say why Brooklyn nine nine is the best show so strap yourselves in it’s gon be long 

 * first off, hella diverse cast 

 * and no “token” characters there just for the sake of diversity, each character has very different personalities from each other and represent the actual population

 * despite totally different personalities they are all really good friends and care about each other so much- each character’s relationship is different and I find that beautiful 

 * wE HAVE A BLACK GAY MAN IN THE HIGHEST POSITION OF POWER IN THE PRECINCT?? that’s so cool

 * amy santiago is never played off as “just Jake’s love interest/girlfriend” she has all her own plots and stories and is amazing and strong and the best

* healthy communication in amy and jakes relationship !!! making sure it doesn’t stop them from doing their job to the best of both their abilities !!! 

* Terry is a very macho “man’s” man but isn’t afraid to show his feelings and it’s real nice to see them show how being emotional doesn’t make you a weak man 

* the solidarity between the girls because we gotta stick together 

* “I met god” “what does she look like?” “Ethnically ambiguous" 

* constantly calling out the world for all it’s shit (homophobia, racism, gun laws, corruptness of the police, sexism, I cOULD GO ON) 

* and now the reason I decided to make this now: THEY JUST MADE A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT HOW BULLSHIT RACIAL PROFILING IS 

* a show about cops still managed to find a way to talk about it bc they know it’s an important issue and did it in such an incredible way 

* showed two sides of dealing with the situation, holts plan and terrys, and neither were ideal, both would have backlash for Terry more than the dickhead who stopped him tbh

* and showing Jake doing hella suspicious shit and not getting stopped 

* oNCE AGAIN CALLING OUT THE WORLD FOR ITS SHIT 

* (but this time with a whole ep not just mentions bless) 

* also Jake and amy having to explain it all to Terry’s kids was v upsetting to see how scared they were at first that this would happen just because they were born as they were 

* AND mentions of transphobia and telling the twins it’s okay if they don’t identify as female, what other show would 

 this ain’t even everything it was just getting v long BASICALLY no show is as woke as brooklyn nine nine, it’s hella funny too with great plots and ships too if that’s what you look for and everyone should watch and @ fox if you don’t renew I will fight it is better than all other shows