87-year-old Gaston Glock didn’t inherit the polymer pistol empire, he built it. And you can’t build an empire without making a few enemies. In Glock’s case, it was his partner and close confidant, Charles Ewert. Back in 1999, Ewert embezzled millions of dollars from the company and, worried about getting caught, took the next logical step in the Iron Man villain’s business plan: kill your partner. So naturally, he hired a French ex-mercenary and professional wrestler nicknamed “Spartacus” to assassinate Gaston Glock – because why only go half-Goldfinger? Glock was 70 years old at the time and, surprisingly, didn’t carry a Glock, (where’s the faith in your product, Gaston?).
Ewert lured Glock into a parking garage in Luxembourg and told his business partner to “check out that cool sports car,” because he got his supervillain manual mixed up with a Scooby Doo script. But hey, it worked: As Glock bent over, Spartacus The Hitman jumped out – hopefully wearing nothing but a leather thong and a murderous grin – and started beating Glock on the head with a heavy rubber mallet. Which is an … interesting choice for a murder weapon?
But after being bashed seven times in the head, Glock managed to wrestle the hammer away from the hitman/pro-wrestler, punched him in the eye, knocked out several of his teeth, and rendered him unconscious.
The physical fight was over, but Glock wasn’t done.