I think I may just cut caregiver ties with Ani, (because we don’t talk much at all since he broke his hand) and Daddy J, though Daddy J seems to have done that already, because when I woke up today he had blocked me on Facebook again.. I mean you don’t just tell your little/kitten that you bought her a collar she wanted and then just go poof. It’s not right, and it messes with my BPD really bad..
It hurts, because since Sir and I had broken up, I was getting way closer to Daddy J again, even wearing our old promise rings (I have both of them because I asked for his back when he left me before) on my necklace every day. I was getting to the point where I was in love with him again, he made me so happy, and said he was happy he was my daddy and that we could be so open with each other.. and then.. he blocked me. I just.. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know what I did wrong and I just want him back and I can’t deal with this anymore.
So with that said.. I think I just want Charbat as my sitter/temp. caregiver for now.. I need to heal and relax for a while..
Its been a shitty few days.. My soul hurts. Forgive me.
on this day a year ago i was wandering around bonnaroo with row, a little drunk and a lot lost (I didn’t even know what pod we were in tbh). I had just admitted to her that I had no idea where we were but then we saw a friend sitting on the trunk of a car so we hung out with them for a lil bit and anyways that’s how I met taybat. over the next year, through spending countless hours together laughing and stargazing and talking and exploring, I figured out what it means to feel love that expects nothing in return, to feel safe and respected in a relationship and to feel unconditionally loved and supported. the year I’ve spent getting to know Taylor has been one of the most difficult times of my life, but he has been there through it all and has handled everything with exceptional compassion and grace. I feel so lucky to have learned so much from him in the past year and I hope we have many more years of growth as friends, explorers, partners, and amateur astronomists ahead of us 💌 (at 💫🍃💓)