charactermerlin

Things that would’ve made S5[a] tolerable for me:
  • Lancelot figuring into the plot
    • Lancelot’s death and resurrection being explained (”it’s a long story” is basically “it doesn’t matter”)
    • Lancelot’s relationship with Guinevere not being crucified by some “[ship] parallel” bullshit
    • Lancelot’s backstory being explored to some degree
    • Lancelot and Merlin talking to each other
    • Lancelot and Arthur’s relationship actually being something
    • Lancelot not being kicked off screen for asinine non-reasons
    • Lancelot being respected as a character and not a plot device for white people
    • Lancelot and his mother (Lady of the Lake)
  • Merlin being respected as character
    • Merlin being respected as a character and not a plot device for white people
    • Merlin not being made a magically compelled slave to a shite white boy who throws temper tantrums
    • Merlin not being stripped of his powers by Emma’s poor decision making
    • Merlin not being fucking murdered by Hook
    • Better exploration into Merlin’s backstory that made little sense to begin within
    • Merlin not being bound to the binary perception of “right and wrong” the show clings to if there weren’t going to be consequences for that viewpoint
    • Merlin actually seeing Nimue’s future like everything else (fuck that “I can’t see you future for some reason” ish)
    • Merlin’s word not being treated as creed in the Nimue situation when he couldn’t see her future and thus couldn’t tell what “atrocities she’d commit”
    • Merlin not enslaving his girlfriend to a broken piece of a sword on the basis of what she might do
    • Exploration into Merlin’s reasoning and motivations as a character
    • Merlin actually figuring into the plot like he was supposed to
    • Merlin contacting Emma and Arthur while stuck in a tree being explained and not dismissed via “it doesn’t matter”
    • Merlin using his portal making wand
    • Merlin speaking with Regina
    • Merlin’s backstory actually aligning with everything presented in S4
    • Merlin coming to Storybrooke in light of all the ish he’s got over there
  • Guinevere being respected as a character
    • Guinevere not being stripped of her agency by non-con magic sands
    • Guinevere’s authority as a Queen actually utilized in the season
    • Guinevere doing something other than “standing by her man” (as a slave)
    • Guinevere having meaningful conversations with Snow White and Regina
    • Guinevere not going to the Dark One’s vault and making a deal with Rumpelstiltskin (pretty much connects with point a here).
    • A better depiction of Guinevere and Arthur’s troubled relationship and their friendship
    • Guinevere being treated better in general
  • Mulan being respected as a character
    • Mulan being acknowledged as a character and not a rotating plot device for white people
    • Mulan’s backstory being explored
    • Mulan being romantically engaged with a woman after being indirectly rejected by Aurora
    • Basically, Mulan not pining for months/years after some basic white princess
    • Mulan and Lancelot actually having some semblance of a relationship
    • Mulan and Lancelot working together, solving the problems with Merlin, Regina and Guinevere
    • Mulan actually figuring into the 5a arc with the rest of the characters instead of appearing in an episode with nothing to do with the actual plot (the definition of Merida’s entire existence)
  • Nimue being respected as a character
    • Nimue (and by extension, the Darkness) getting a better villain origin than “whoops, you killed a guy, guess you’re the embodiment of pure evil now!”
    • Nimue not being instant-oatmeal punished for killing her stalker and the man who tried to kill her (and Merlin) twice
    • In general, Nimue not being punished because she didn’t listen to Merlin
    • Nimue and Merlin’s relationship depicted with some sort of respect to both their characters, but in particular, her as a character
    • Nimue and Merlin’s relationship not being sacrificed on the “CS parallels” altar and existing as its own entity
    • Nimue not being made a slave to Excalibur’s tip because of what she might’ve done (and not even for what she “did”)
    • Nimue’s choices being respected by Merlin, Nimue being respected in general
    • Nimue’s past as the Dark One being explored (because for all I know, she tree’ed Merlin and got stabbed and died the next day)
    • Nimue’s D.O. motivations aligning with her actual motivations (the ”I/the dark ones wanted snuff out the light all along” is basically bullshit)
    • Nimue actually figuring into the plot like she was supposed to
    • Nimue not being treated as a scapegoat to excuse the heinous shit white characters like Emma, Hook and Rumpelstiltskin did under their own agency as the Dark One
    • Nimue not being used as a metaphor for mental illness because, wow, that’s pretty gross of you, writers
    • Nimue and Emma’s dynamic as allies or enemies actually being explored
  • Regina
    • Her storyline as the savior actually occurring within the plot
    • Being respected as the lead character
    • A better depiction of the fraught Zelena/Regina dynamic than what we got
  • In General
  • The Holy Grail and Excalibur being separate objects
  • The Holy Grail and Excalibur making sense as MaGuffins
  • Better handling of Arthurian mythology
  • The missing case of that dead guy in the town jail being addressed
  • Arthur’s attempt at being Peter Pan 2.0 (”Storybrooke is the New Camelot”) occurring at some point
  • Arthur being something other than a mustache twirling villain with an abusive streak
  • Merdia appearing in another season entirely because she is the definition of a game breaking glitch
  • Vortigan being the Dark One
  • Hook not being the Dark One
  • Less focus on Hook, Hook/Emma
  • Better treatment of their established cast
  • Violet’s subplot as a victim of Emma’s actions actually being addressed beyond Regina’s reprimanding her
  • Emma being held accountable for her actions
  • Emma not forgiving her boyfriend for trying to murder her entire family in the time it takes to blink one eye
  • Emma respecting Hook’s wishes and letting him die and stay dead
  • The Darkness origin actually aligning with what was explained in S4
  • The Dark Swan arc actually being about the Dark Swan and not how badly she fucked everyone over for her undead boyfriend
  • The general exclusion of “this is the darkness, not you” excuse
  • Rumpelstiltskin’s hero storyline going somewhere (whether it meant he would be redeemed, not or somewhere in between) not ending with a backpedal involving magic dust that instantly reinstates him to D.O. status.
  • 5a actually being the entirety of S5
  • Some passing mention about Lily and Maleficent
  • No Underworld plot

And here concludes the exercise in which I’m basically asking for another show and better writers entirely cuz this show won’t change and I’m basically hoping it gets cancelled soon at this point. It would be a mercy.