character: c3po

I really want to write a fanfic where R2 just says, fuck this when Bail, obi-wan and Yoda plan to separate the twins. He then convinces C3P0 to help him kidnap the babies, reasoning that raising two children cant be that hard, humans do it all the time. 

They are like okay money wise because in this universe Anakin totally gave R2 his bank account info (which Padme made for him). R2 is a little confused about why there ends up being being so much money in it, seeing as he thinks Anakin is dead but ends up shrugging it off. So they just spend the next 10 years flying around the galaxy, raising the baby Skywalkers.

Luke totally spends at least one year speaking only in binary. Leia knows more languages then any one child should ever know. Both twins are highly offended by the existence of restraining bolts.

Then one year Vader has like a lackey like doing his taxes or something and the lackey is like “uh lord Vader do you know what these monthly withdraws from you bank account dating back ten years are about” and Vader is like what the fuck.

So Vader decides to go after who is committing Identity fraud reasoning that the only people who would have Anakin Skywalker’s bank info would be someone he wanted to track down anyway. Meanwhile poor Obi-wan has been trying to track the twins down for ten years, and is just so fucking tired.

Then both of them catch up with the group at the same time and shit goes down.