1. To see Amren’s true form
2. Cassian’s wings to be ok
3. Azriel and Mor to FINALLY be together
4. A giant monologue of Feyre telling Tamlin the tool she betrayed him
5. Rhys to be with her when she does it
6. The suriel and Feyre having more gossip sessions
7. Lucien to stand up for Feyre
8. More magic messages between rhys and Feyre
9. An ACOWAR chapter 55
10. Feyre to grow her wings again
11. A WALL SCENE
Last week, a kind soul asked me to write Chapter 55 from Rhysand’s POV and although TERRIFIED of the idea, I’ve had so much fun writing these fics that I figured, why the bloody hell not? Heh, you only live once…
So here it is! Obvi NSFW. I hope any of you brave souls reading it like it. As always, I think it’s awful and I struggle to get the voices right at all, but I had fun writing it and welp, here it is.
I take NO CREDIT for the dialogue written in this fic. All of those beautiful words and the ideas for the scenes themselves belong 100% entirely to the talented Sarah J. Maas.
Chapter 55 (Rhysand)
It was about half a millisecond before I grabbed the spoon and started eating. I would never look at soup in the same boring, bland way again.
Feyre was accepting the bond. She was choosing me.
But she hadn’t said anything and it took every ounce of power I possessed within my 500 year career to steady my hand as I lifted each spoonful to my mouth and watched her from across the table.
Because I don't think this gets enough attention...
‘I want to be alone - far away from everyone. Because when you lick me, Feyre,’ he said, pressing nipping kisses to my jaw, my neck, ‘I’m going to let myself roar loud enough to bring down a mountain.’
–Sarah J Maas, ACOMAF, chapter 48
'Rhys roared as he came, slamming in to the hilt. Outside, the mountain trembled, the remaining snow rushing from them in a cascade of glittering white, only to be swallowed up by the waiting night below.’
–Sarah J Maas, ACOMAF, chapter 55
Tenho essa grande tendência a ser um completo caos. Mais caos do que completo. Nunca sou completo. Sou metades. Partes quebradas, largadas por quem passou e deixou sua marca. Sou feito de pedaços deixados por quem aqui esteve um dia mais já se foi. Levando o melhor de mim, deixando o pior de si.
Charles left to begin the poker game at Casino Royale, while you were left in the hotel room to make a grand entrance once the game had begun. You entered and made your way behind Bass. You bent down and kissed his cheek.
“Weren’t you supposed to enter so the others could see you?” He whispered.
“Was I, forgive me.” You smirked. “Good luck darling.” You looked around the table before making your way over to the bar. You met up with your contact Mathis, though you didn’t trust him as far as you could throw him.
“I suppose I don’t have to tell you how beautiful you look. Half the people at the table are still watching you.” He smiled and you didn’t reply.
You watched the game carefully, you were on high alert. Bass suddenly excused himself from the table and made his way over to you and Mathis.
“Is he watching?” He asked Mathis, about Le Chiffre.
“Yes.” He answered, and Charles quickly captured your lips, catching you by surprise.
“I thought we had dispensed with covers, ‘Mr. Beech’.” You argued.
“No. We dispensed with one that was of no use and created another that is.” Charles answered, and tried to kiss you again but you turned your head.
“This is me in character pissed off because you’re losing so fast we won’t be here past midnight. Oddly, my character’s feelings mirror my own.” You said as Charles reached for his martini at the bar behind you.
“It was worth it to discover his tell. The twitch he has to hide when he bluffs.You get the bug?” He asked Mathis, who handed him a small device before returning to the poker table.
The game had been going on for four hours now, and frankly you were a little bored. They were now going to take a short for an hour before resuming. You watched Bass place the bug on Le Chiffre sneakily as he passed and you made your way over to him.
He took you by the hand and you followed him out to the reception table where he received another parcel in a large yellow envelope. Clearly his gun. You opened it for him once you were alone in the elevator. He took out his phone to track the device he had planted and you quickly traveled to that floor.
You heard a scream once you had exited the elevator. Bass pushed himself in front of you and continued cautiously down the hall. He ushered you towards the door to the stairs, but suddenly the door with the screaming inside was opened and Bass kissed you to seem less suspicious in the hallway. The men who had just exited the door must have noticed his earpiece, because they quickly opened fire and Charles pulled you into the stairwell. One of the men was thrown down over the railing and hit the ground four floors below. You knew he was dead on impact, but the sound of his body hitting the ground was too familiar to you. Watching him fall reminded you of Sherlock.
You couldn’t dwell for too long because a second man came through the door, armed with a machete. He immediately pinned Charles to the wall, but was thrown down a small flight of stairs as you quickly rushed down before he could reach you. He grabbed your ankle and pulled, you fell to the floor, trying to grab onto the railing. He raised his knife to strike you, but Bass knocked it from his hand.
You had now made it to the bottom with the first body whose blood was now covering the concrete. Bass had the second man in a throat hold, but he was reaching for the gun that had been knocked from Charles’ hand. You lunged for it and reached it before he could. You raised it to fire at him, but knew with one wrong motion you could hit Charles. You watched as the light left his eyes, Charles’ grip on his throat killing him.
The game was going to begin again soon so you made Charles go up to the room and change, his clothes were now covered in blood. You told him you would take care of the bodies.
After hiding them in a cupboard at the bottom of the stairs and contacting Mathis, you returned up to the room. You didn’t know how long it had been, but Charles soon returned to the room. The game must have been set on hold for the night.
You were on the balcony, a glass of wine in your hands when Bass found you. You hadn’t had a drink since that night when Mycroft found you, but tonight’s events in the stairwell brought you right back to that night, to Sherlock.
“What’s wrong?” Charles asked, knowing you didn’t drink.
You shook your head as a tear slid down your cheek, that hadn’t happened in a while either.
“It’s okay, I’m here.” Charles said, holding your head to his chest. “Do you want to talk about it?”
You nodded, and told him everything. About Sherlock, about the fall, about the miscarriage, about your darkest moment. And he listened and understood. Your heart may have been cold and broken, but there was always one person that still made you feel. And that man was Sherlock Holmes. Even though he was gone, every time something reminded him of you the last few pieces of your heart were broken again. He was the exception. You divorce yourself from emotions, except when they dealt with him.
As long as Sherlock Holmes remained in your head and in your heart, you would never be able to move on this this new life of yours. That night after Charles left for his own room, you wrote your last letter to Sherlock. You needed to let him go, for good. He was dead, and he was the reason you had become this cold hearted killer.
Even with my slurred words and uneven steps, you’re the only thing on my mind. My whole life has changed because of you. When I first met you, it was good change, but ever since you left me, the change killed me. It killed everything that you used to love about me. All I have left of you are the memories. Memories are the only things that don’t change when everything else does. That’s not the reason I’m writing this though. It’s because I don’t want to remember you anymore. I can’t remember you anymore. I need to let you go, for good.
I feel your eyes on me when I know you’re not there. I can’t move on, I’m too ashamed to do it with you watching me. This is never ending, we have been here before. But I can’t stay this time because I don’t love you anymore. Please stay where you are, don’t come any closer. Don’t try to change my mind, I’m being cruel to be kind. I can’t love you in the dark. I feel like we’re oceans apart. There’s so much space between us, we’re already defeated. Everything’s changing. You gave me something I couldn’t live without. But I don’t want to carry on like everything is fine. Every word I said, you know I’ll always mean. It meant the world to me that you were in my life, but I want to live not just survive.
Without you I’m not dead, but I’m not alive either. I’m just a ghost with a beating heart. A heart that is no longer capable of love. You wouldn’t like the person I’ve become. I’m a killer now, and the worst part is that I like it. I like the way it makes me feel, the way it makes me forget. Everything changed me, and I don’t think you can save me.
Eu sempre quero ser mais do que eu posso ser, eu sempre transbordo em mim mesma e me desfaço por não poder me suportar. Eu sou pesada de mais para um corpo tão frágil, me despedaço e nunca sei me reconstruir. Eu sempre quero ir além do que sou capaz e arruíno minha paz nessa busca incessante de ser alguém que eu não sou. Mas ser eu ainda é um fardo muito maior e insuportável e eu me guardo para não afastar ainda mais quem ainda tenta permanecer aqui. Eu me guardo tentando, sem sucesso, não entrar em combustão e explodir quando ninguém pode me segurar. Eu me guardo, sem sucesso, porque não tem espaço em mim. Eu sou uma explosão intensa e imensa, um buraco negro que me arrasta e arrasta tudo o que está à minha volta e acabo ficando sozinha para não levar ninguém comigo. Eu sou caos. E quase morro tentando não ser.