channeling-my-inner-evil-queen

[Our bard had rolled extremely high to seduce an NPC nobleman and the conversation consisted entirely of thinly veiled sexual innuendo about swords. After the NPC said he preferred to fight with longswords…]

Bard: I find it’s not the size of the sword, but the motions of the swordsman that really matters.

DM: This is the worst thing I’ve ever role played and I was in an original character Sonic The Hedgehog RPG when I was thirteen.