Russian Literature Moodboard Challenge (1 / infinite): The Master & Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
But would you kindly ponder this question: What would your good do if evil didn’t exist, and what would the earth look like if all the shadows disappeared? After all, shadows are cast by things and people. Here is the shadow of my sword. But shadows also come from trees and living beings. Do you want to strip the earth of all trees and living things just because of your fantasy of enjoying naked light? You’re stupid.
A/N: Thanks so much for your patience everyone! The holidays really threw my schedule into chaos and this one took a lot longer than I anticipated. This chapter was a challenge - I struggled with the length and whether or not I should divide it into two chapters. In the end, I decided to keep it together so as to not disrupt the flow.
Thanks to @evansrogerskitten for the beta - I love you babe! To everyone sending me messages, feedback and requests to be tagged, THANK YOU! You are AWESOME! Tumblr is being a bitch with the tags so I’ve done these manually - I hope I haven’t missed anyone! Please send me a note if I’ve left you off by mistake or if you would like to be tagged.
And always, to my twitter babes: thanks for the support, love and smut ;)
Chapter 5: The Asset
In the nights that followed, you and Bucky could be found sprawled across his bed watching movies, huddled under the covers talking for hours or just wrapped around each other’s bodies in quiet comfort.
Falling asleep in Bucky’s protective arms each night, you felt safe for the first time in years. But while his presence kept the nightmares at bay, the vividly erotic dreams that appeared in their place were just as torturous. Especially when Bucky had made it a habit to hold you close to his body as you both slept. You never would have guessed that the Winter Soldier liked to cuddle.
Each morning you’d wake with your body pressed tight against his bare chest, his metal arm circling your waist and a strong thigh draped across your legs. This morning was no exception.
As soon as you begin to stir, you feel his warm lips start to lazily pepper your neck with kisses and his morning arousal rubbing up against your backside.
“Mmmm, good morning soldier,” you purr as you lightly stroke the cool metal of his arm while backing into his growing bulge. “Someone’s up early.”
“Your fault doll,” he murmurs sleepily into your ear. “All that moaning in your sleep last night got me going.”
“Was I fucking you hard in your dreams again?”
“Hmph,” you scoff as you make a mental note to never tell Natasha anything ever again. “How do you even know I was dreaming about you?”
“Well,” he smirks as he runs his stubbled cheek along your jaw and whispers lowly, “you screaming ‘oh God Bucky right there, touch me right there’ sort of gave it away.”
You shiver as his mouth slowly nips down your neck, his hand sliding over your stomach.
“Now that you’re awake I wanna find that spot,” he teases. “Slip my fingers into your wet pussy and watch you come undone.”
A moan escapes your lips as his metal fingers begin to rub slow circles over your clothed mound.
“Wanna make you scream my name while you cum all over my fingers.”
“Such a dirty boy,” you whimper, squirming as you intercept his hand before it can dip under the hem of your sleep shorts.
You feel him smile against your neck as he lays his hand over yours. He presses your fingers down hard and begins to maneuver them over your covered clit.
“Why don’t you join me in the shower and I’ll show you just how dirty I can get.”
You grip his hand to still his movements and guide it away from your sensitive spot. “You don’t give up, do you?”
“Never,” he growls as his hand slowly travels up your body. You breathe in sharply as it grazes the underside of your breast. “You’re my mission.”
You swiftly roll over and turn to face him; giving him a warning look as you plant your hand on his chest to stop him from advancing.
“Sorry solider, I’m not ready to comply just yet.”
Bucky laughs and reaches over to playfully smack your ass before rising from the bed. He stands up with his back to you and slides his shorts down his legs.
“Your loss sweetheart,” he smirks as he tosses them at your head and walks towards the bathroom with a confident strut.
As you pull the shorts away from your face and prepare to unleash a string of obscenities, your gaze lands on his firm, naked ass. Eyes widening, your words are swallowed by a low whimper.
Slamming your head back onto the bed, you grab Bucky’s pillow and cover your face to smother your loud scream of frustration.
The past few days had been sheer agony. It was one thing having to participate in the contest when you thought Bucky didn’t give a damn about you. But now knowing that your feelings for each other ran deep, made everything a lot more complicated.
It also didn’t help that you were both so stubbornly competitive and thought nothing of testing each other’s willpower on a constant basis – despite the fact that each new round of teasing drew you both closer to the brink of elimination. The sexual tension between the two of you was off the charts. What had started out as harmless flirting was threatening to ignite into intense passion with every word, look and touch.
Making matters worse was that the rest of the team had begun to notice the white hot sparks that flew between you and Bucky every time you were in the same room, and they began to use this to their advantage.
Suddenly, you found yourself paired with Bucky to review intel, carry out routine surveillance and even for kitchen duty. The two of you seemed to be ending up in the same place alone too often to be considered a coincidence.
Throw in the fact that the other two Avengers left in the contest had consolidated their matchmaking efforts and you knew it was time to tell Bucky that you both needed to cool it or risk being eliminated ahead of Steve and Nat.
As you get up from Bucky’s bed and begin to straighten the sheets, you take stock of the current situation. No surprise that you, Nat and Bucky were still holding strong – your common training and tactical experiences were firmly rooted in self-discipline. Steve however was the dark horse. You never thought he would have held out so long. Little beads of sweat begin to form on your brow as you move around the bed, mentally listing each of your opponent’s strengths and weaknesses.
“Why is it so hot in here,” you think to yourself as you bite your bottom lip in concern. The last thing you need is to get sick and have your defenses weakened, especially around Bucky. You had discovered quickly over the past few weeks that a clear head was required when dealing with the super soldier – he could instantly make you wet with just one bite of his lip or sweep of his tongue.
Damn, that tongue. You pause from your task to imagine how incredible that tongue would feel sliding between the folds of your pussy.
You’re so deep in thought that you don’t hear Bucky come up behind you. As he wraps his arms around your waist and rests his chin on your shoulder, you close your eyes and lean back to breathe in his scent.
“Bucky, you’re getting me all wet,” you squeal as cold water from his damp hair starts to drip down your neck and chest.
“Can I feel?” he teases. His hands dip into the top of your shorts and slowly start to pull them down.
“Don’t you dare sergeant!” you scold while you hold them in place.
He hums softly and drapes a towel over your shoulder. “Here, use this to dry off.”
You grab the towel and begin to pat down your neck as you turn to face him. “Thanks. Listen Bucky, we need to ta…”
Your sentence is cut short when he pulls you in tight to his body, your hands landing on his wet, muscular pecs. Mouth agape, you stare as drops of water trickle down his sculpted chest and roll over his abs before disappearing into the space where your hips meet.
It’s only when you feel his hardening cock twitch against your core through the thin fabric of your shorts, that you realize he’s completely naked.
“You were saying doll,” he smirks while you close your eyes tight and fumble out of his solid grip.
“Damn it Bucky,” you cry out while swatting him blindly with the towel. Backing up, your knees hit the bed and you suddenly fall seated onto the mattress. Your eyes fly open in surprise and for a split second your gaze lands on Bucky’s thick, long cock. You gulp harshly and quickly bring the towel up to cover your face as Bucky takes a few steps towards you.
Chuckling, he pries the towel from your trembling hands and wraps it low on his waist. Dipping his head, he brings his lips to your ear.
“I can tell by the way you’re blushing that you like what you see.”
“Just so you know sweetheart,” he murmurs softly, grinning as he watches you bite down hard on your bottom lip. “It can get much harder than that.”
The sound of his laughter rings in your ears as you bolt from the room with your fists clenched, cursing him loudly in Russian.
By the time you wash up and head downstairs to join the rest of the team in the common room, you’re still wound tight and unusually hot – patches of sweat staining your flimsy top and shorts. Tony, Steve and Bruce are huddled around a mid-air projection screen while Thor is seated on the couch watching their efforts.
“Why the fuck is it so hot in here?” you whine as you plop yourself down next to Thor.
“The compound’s climate control system has inexplicably gone offline,” mutters Bruce as he scans the code on the screen. “We’re running a diagnostic but we can’t seem to figure out what triggered this malfunction.”
Steve walks over to the bar and pours himself a glass of ice water before hopping up on a stool. “For some reason the heat has kicked in and we can’t seem to over-ride the controls to turn it off.”
“Something in the program is restricting our access.”
“Something or someone,” you grumble as you shoot Tony a suspicious look.
“Now what would I have to gain by sabotaging the temperature in this place,” Tony asks innocently while pretending to be wounded by the accusation. “Although I must say, hot and sweaty is a good look on you sugar.”
“Feel free to disregard the ‘no nudity during the contest’ rule for the time being,” he offers generously.
“Although something or someone tells me that you and Barnes may have already thrown in the towel on that one.”
“Kiss my ass Stark,” you growl in frustration as you try unsuccessfully to block the image of Bucky’s impressive cock from your head.
“Why so grumpy sweet pea,” Tony questions with a tone of mock concern in his voice. “I think someone needs a good…”
“ Fuuuuuck,” interrupts Bucky as he comes swaggering into the room wearing shorts and a tight, white tank top. “What’s with this heat?”
“If I keep sweating like this I’m going to have to take another shower.”
He sets his gaze on you and winks. You narrow your eyes and mouth “fuck off” before turning your attention to Thor who is thumbing through a cook book.
Bucky smiles widely and climbs up on the stool next to Steve’s. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and swipes at the screen.
“Is this text from you?” Bucky asks while handing Steve his phone. Steve takes it and reads the message.
“No, not from me,” he answers, passing it back to Bucky. “I think that’s Sam’s number.”
“What about this one,” Bucky questions as he brings up another text.
“Geez Buck,” scolds Steve. “You really need to set up your contact list so you know who’s sending you these messages.”
“These things are such a waste of time,” Bucky grumbles as he waves his phone around in annoyance. “By the time I figure out all your numbers and how to use the damn thing, we get new ones. Hate these burner phones.”
Steve shakes his head and laughs. “Here, give me your phone,” he coaxes. Bucky hands it over and watches Steve swipe and tap the device.
“OK, I’ve set up my contact info to get you started…woah!”
Bucky looks up to see Steve’s eyes widen at the screen.
“Shit Steve, did you break my phone,” Bucky huffs as he takes the device back. He glances down at a text message Steve has inadvertently opened.
He furrows his brow as he read the words ‘Hi handsome’ under a photo of a woman’s tongue licking a set of plump, cherry red lips.
“What the hell,” Bucky mutters as he types back a response.
Who is this?
He shrugs his shoulders at Steve and hits send.
A few moments pass when his phone starts to chime.
You don’t remember me?
A sad face emoji pops up on the screen attached to another message.
Maybe this will jog your memory
A picture of a woman’s hand caressing the valley between two ample breasts spilling out of a black lace bra flashes onto the screen.
“Hello!” murmurs Steve as he cranes his neck to get a better view of Bucky’s phone.
Bucky’s mouth falls open for a split second before his eyes flit over to where you’re sitting with Thor. He watches as you sweep your hair off your shoulders and arrange it into a messy bun in an attempt to cool off. His blue eyes flicker with desire as he admires your body which is flush with a thin sheen of sweat that glistens on your skin.
Turning his attention back to his phone, Bucky ducks his head in guilt and quickly types out a message.
You have the wrong number
With a swipe of his finger, he deletes the conversation.
“What are you doing?” Steve questions in annoyance. “This may be one of those groupies Stark was talking about.”
“Just trying to stay alive pal,” Bucky answers nervously as he motions his head in your direction. “I’m not interested in any groupies.”
“Man, you are whipped,” Steve laughs.
Before Bucky can respond his phone lights up with a new message. He tentatively taps the screen and lets out a sharp breath as a picture of a cute, round ass appears, clad in a barely-there black lace thong. Peeking out of the waist band over the right cheek is a small tattoo of a red star.
Steve lets out a low whistle while Bucky swallows hard.
Pretty sure I’ve got your number babe. Don’t lie…I know you’re thinking about how much you want to spank my ass while I call you daddy
Bucky vehemently shakes his head from side to side while he taps on his phone.
Sorry, no. All I can think about right now is how sexy my girlfriend looks and how I want to bend her over that couch she’s sitting on
Steve raises his eyebrows in surprise as Bucky hits send. “Whoa Buck, your girlfriend?”
“Well yeah,” Bucky smiles sheepishly while rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, I haven’t asked her yet or anything but I want her to be my girl.”
“That’s great buddy,” Steve says approvingly as he places a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and grins widely.
They both look down as Bucky’s phone chimes.
Girlfriend? Too bad, is it serious?
Bucky smiles softly as he types his response.
He looks up and notices you blushing as Thor whispers in your ear. Bucky closes his eyes and grits his teeth angrily, trying to steady his composure, when his phone lights up with another message.
Lucky girl. In case it doesn’t work out, I’ll be here waiting
Bucky quietly moans at a picture of a woman’s hand pulling down on a pair of black lace panties while the other hand fingers a garter belt. As his eyes run down the length of her legs to a pair of black high heels and back up to her covered mound, he struggles to keep his cock from twitching.
“FUCK!” exclaims Steve loudly as he grabs the phone from Bucky’s hand. You and Thor look over with puzzled expressions.
Bucky laughs nervously as he jabs Steve hard in the ribs.
“Cat video,” he stammers in explanation.
“That is one pretty pussy,” Steve mumbles under his breath.
You shake your head and turn to continue your conversation with Thor.
Bucky snatches the phone back from Steve and hastily types out a message.
You’ll be waiting around forever then. Do you like blonds? I have a friend
Steve gives Bucky two thumbs up and waits eagerly for a reply. He frowns at the response that appears a minute later on the screen.
Thanks but no…I prefer my men with long, dark hair…ridiculously handsome and aggravatingly cocky…with stubble…stubble is good
Bucky chuckles as he remembers a similar conversation from a few nights back. He’s about to bid his mystery admirer a final goodbye when he freezes.
“What’s wrong Buck,” questions Steve as Bucky squints at the screen and enlarges the photo to get a closer look. He begins to scroll back and forth through the pictures, examining them carefully, until the realization begins to dawn on his face.
“You little tease,” he growls lowly as his head snaps up and his eyes bear down on you. Sensing his stare, you look up in time to see him jump off the stool, his mouth formed into a tight, menacing grin. A mix of fear and excitement overwhelms your senses as you realize you’ve been discovered.
Bucky slowly stalks over to you, the metal plates on his arm whirling with each step. You quickly jump up from the couch while Thor looks on in amusement. Giggling uncontrollably, you run full throttle down the hall to the elevator.
“Shit shit shit shit shit, come on, come on,” you chant frantically as you press the up button, trying to will the elevator doors to open. You let out a sigh of relief when they finally part and you slip in. You jab repeatedly at the button to close the doors and then lean against the wall to catch your breath.
But just as the doors are about to close tight, a metal hand reaches in and pries them open. Your eyes widen as Bucky steps into the elevator car and the doors slide shut behind him.
He smirks as he steps in close and places his hands on either side of your head, effectively pinning you to the wall. “Where do you think you’re going baby girl?”
You swallow nervously as his darkening eyes hungrily scour your body. His metal fingers trail down your jaw line before wrapping around your throat to squeeze it firmly but gently. Your breath leaves your body in a rush.
“You’ve been a bad girl,” he murmurs as his other hand grips your waist and turns you so you’re facing the wall.
“Are you going to punish me daddy?” you taunt him breathlessly as his hands pull down on your shorts.
“Is that what my kitten wants,” he teases as his metallic fingers trace over your tattoo. You gasp as his flesh hand comes down on your bare ass with a loud smack.
You let out a raspy moan and start to back into his hand when you feel the elevator jolt to a stop.
“What the fuck,” snarls Bucky as he turns toward the panel and starts to push the buttons.
You’re both startled by the sound of Tony’s voice wafting into the elevator car.
“Hey kids, sorry to interrupt but there’s a small problem with the elevator,” he explains. “We’re working on it.”
“Wow, that’s one sweet ass…tattoo…sweet ass tattoo.”
Bucky quickly backs up to shield your backside from the camera as you pull up your shorts.
“How long before you fix the elevator Stark,” Bucky growls into the intercom.
“Oh, maybe an hour or so,” answers Tony nonchalantly. “Feel free to continue where you left off, you won’t even know I’m here.”
Before Tony can finish his sentence, Bucky delivers a crippling punch to the camera.
“That’s coming out of your paycheck Barnes,” mutters Stark in annoyance.
“Add this to my bill too,” Bucky replies as he rips the intercom speaker from the panel.
You shake your head in disapproval and begin to survey the car for options. Your eyes land on the emergency exit hatch at the top of the elevator. As you examine the hatch, you bring the hem of your top up to wipe some sweat off your face – flashing Bucky in the process.
“Stop fooling around Bucky and come give me a boost please. No way are we staying in this hot tin can for an hour.”
Eyes fixed on the ceiling you steady yourself as Bucky comes up behind you and places his hands on your hips. But instead of lifting you up, he maneuvers you along with his body towards the wall until his back is pressed up against it.
“You’re not going anywhere princess, not done with you yet.”
Holding you tight to his chest, his hands slip under your top and start to move up towards your breasts.
“So fucking sexy,” he whispers into your ear, his breath hot against your body. You lean your head back against his shoulder as his lips ghost over your neck.
“Bucky,” you whimper as his hands gently squeeze your breasts, his thumbs circling your hardening nipples through your bra. “We can’t…we can’t do this.”
“I know doll,” he stammers as he grinds his growing erection into your ass. “I just need to touch you…want you so fucking bad.”
“I want you too babe,” you murmur as you tilt your head to the side to give him more access. You feel your knees buckle at the heat pooling between your legs as he presses his lips to your neck. “I’ve wanted you since the first moment I saw you.”
“Just need to wait a little longer, we’re almost there.”
Bucky sighs loudly and buries his head into the crook of your neck. “You’re making this is so hard.”
You chuckle softly and tuck your hand behind you to stroke his half-hard cock.
“I don’t know about that soldier,” you answer cheekily while glancing coyly at him over your shoulder. “I’m told it can get a lot harder than this.”
Bucky groans and starts to slide down the wall, guiding your body with his until you’re set between his legs.
“I don’t know how much longer I can resist you,” he mutters as he fumbles in his pocket for his phone. He brings up the picture of your backside on the screen and holds it up in front of you as evidence. “Especially if you keep teasing me like this.”
“Hey you started it soldier,” you huff indignantly while playfully slapping his thigh. “You and your little strip show this morning.”
Bucky laughs and starts to fiddle with the settings on his phone.
“Bucky, what are you doing?”
He ignores your question and continues to tap at his phone. Your eyes widen when you catch a glimpse of the screen.
“JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES!” you warn tersely. “You can’t make my ass your background picture.”
“Too late,” he murmurs as he traces over the curve of your onscreen backside with his finger.
You reach out to grab his phone but he scrabbles to his feet and raises it high above your head. You jump up a few times trying to snatch the device from his hand but he raises it higher with every leap. He tilts his head and grins appreciatively at your futile efforts.
“Damn baby,” he purrs, biting down hard on his bottom lip. “I love watching your tits bounce.”
Narrowing your eyes in annoyance, you line up determinedly to kick the phone from his hand but he anticipates your move and jams the device down the front of his shorts.
You raise your eyebrows and flash a cheeky smile. “Really Bucky, like that’s going to stop me.”
He throws his arms out in invitation as you take a step closer. Your hands are just starting to slide down past the waist band of his shorts when the phone slips out and lands on the floor. You quickly drop down to your knees in front of Bucky to grab it, one hand still tucked inside his shorts, when the doors of the elevator open.
You freeze as Tony and Steve come into view.
“Going down?” Tony smirks as he crosses his arms and leans up against the wall.
You make a face at him as you scramble to your feet and bolt from the elevator clutching Bucky’s phone. Tony leans over to get a better view of your backside as you run down the hall. Bucky starts after you, pausing first to punch Tony hard in the shoulder.
“Stop fucking staring at my girlfriend’s ass,” he threatens in a menacing voice before taking off in hot pursuit.
“I’m sorry, did he just say girlfriend?” Tony asks as he turns to Steve with an incredulous look on his face.
“Yup,” chuckles Steve as they watch Bucky quickly catch up to you. They listen to you curse loudly when Bucky grabs your waist and effortlessly flings you over his shoulder.
Tony stares hard as Bucky’s metal hand moves under your shorts to squeeze your ass before he kicks open the door to the stairwell. Tony mutters in disbelief under his breath.
“That lucky son of a bitch.”
As evening rolls around, you find the team back in the common room, surrounded by portable fans and ice cold beers.
You grab a bottle and sit yourself down in front of the cool stream of one of the fans – as far away from Bucky as you can get.
You had spent most of the afternoon in your bed propped up against Bucky’s chest, sweating in between his legs while he watched you create his contact list – punishment for teasing him with those texts. It would have probably taken you less time had it not been for the distraction of Bucky’s lips on your neck and shoulders, and his hands roaming over your body. Between the heat and his touch, it was enough to drive you mad.
As you take a sip of your beer, you silently agree that some distance from Bucky is in order tonight. You fall back on the couch and close your eyes to enjoy the rush of cold air rolling over your body when Steve calls out.
“Hey gorgeous, come play with me and Bucky.”
Your eyes fly open and glance over in confusion. It takes a few moments to realize that they are setting up for a game of scrabble.
You smile wryly and curse your overheated imagination. “Thanks, but I’m not in the mood tonight Steve.”
“You boys will just have to play with yourselves.”
Steve shakes his head and smiles while Bucky’s eyes flash in amusement as they land on yours.
“What’s the matter sweetheart,” Bucky taunts while he twists the cap from his beer bottle. “Afraid you’re going to lose your shirt to me?”
He brings the bottle to his full lips and takes a long drink. You throat goes dry as his eyes drift over your body.
“Ummm no,” you answer with a roll of your eyes. “It’s just that most men can’t handle it when I whip their ass.”
Bucky raises his eyebrow and leans back in his chair, legs splayed apart.
“I’m not most men darling,” he replies smugly. “You can play rough with me.”
“Fucking hell” you scream silently in your head as your gaze lowers to his crotch. “Don’t let him suck you in…ugh, don’t say suck…and don’t you dare get up from this couch…stay in your Bucky-free zone.”
You’re about to shut him down when you hear Bucky chuckle. Your eyes snap up to catch him giving you his best shit-eating grin. Bastard. You can’t resist.
“Well then,” you smirk. “How can I deny myself the pleasure of bringing the Winter Soldier down to his knees?”
Bucky inhales sharply as you part your legs slightly and raise an eyebrow in challenge.
“Sorry doll,” he says in a husky tone as he coyly looks down at this lap and then back up at your lips. “You’re the one going down tonight.”
“Please Barnes,” you scoff playfully while you rest your beer bottle in between your legs and start to slowly run your fingers over it. “You know it will be me coming on top.”
“I have words you’ve never even heard before ready to roll off my tongue.”
Bucky’s eyes roam up from your lap to your mouth as he licks his lips slowly.
“Mmmm, let’s see what that smart mouth of yours can do sweetheart,” he dares with a sexy grin.
Rising from the couch you head over to the game table where Steve and Bucky are sitting. You come up behind Bucky and place your hands on his broad shoulders.
“I think you’ll find solider that I have some pretty impressive oral skills,” you purr as your hands move over his chest and abs, gliding down to palm the bulge in his tight jeans. He moans your name softly at your touch.
“Come on you two, play nice,” Steve sighs as he readies the board.
“We’ll behave,” Bucky promises as he stands to pull out your chair. As you move to take your seat, he leans in and whispers. “Unless you want daddy to punish you again baby girl.”
A shiver runs down your spine as he slaps your ass and nips at your shoulder.
“OK, just a few rules,” begins Steve in a firm tone.
“No names allowed or making words already on the board plural. No suffixes, prefixes or abbreviations. No slang words, made up words or acronyms like LOL or OMG.”
“Plus you’ll score 5 extra points if you use your word in a sentence,” he continues as he starts to shake the bag filled with letter tiles.
“And for gosh sakes, watch your language,” jokes Bucky. “Captain America gets a little flustered with the dirty talk.”
“It happens one time,” Steve replies in exasperation as he holds out the bag to you.
“Wow Stevie,” you tease as you draw your letters. “I would have killed you if we had ever made it into bed.”
“You guys are hilarious,” he mumbles as you and Bucky share a knowing look. “Are you finished or is there a second act to this comedy show?”
Bucky pats Steve’s shoulder in apology and you blow him a kiss. Steve jokingly mutters “jerks” under his breath and starts the game.
“Ok, my first word is ‘sit’,” says Steve as he places his tiles on the board.
“We should sit in front of the fans to stay cool.”
“Your turn Buck,” instructs Steve as he jots down his points.
When Bucky doesn’t answer, you look up from reviewing your tiles and notice his glazed eyes focused on your breasts. It only takes a moment to realize that while you’ve been absentmindedly rolling your cold beer bottle over your neck to cool down, Bucky has been watching your nipples hardened with each pass.
He’s deep in his thoughts when Steve calls out to him again.
Looking slightly disoriented, his eyes shoot up to Steve for a moment, before dropping down to study his tiles. His frown is quickly replaced with a mischievous smile that spreads slowly across his face.
He spells the word ‘get’ on the board before turning to you with a lustful grin.
“I can’t wait to get my mouth on your gorgeous tits.”
You let out an amused gasp while Steve chokes on a mouthful of beer.
“Bucky,” Steve sighs as he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.
“What?” answers Bucky defensively as he points to your breasts. “Just fucking look at them…they’re awesome.”
“Yes…yes they are,” agrees Steve. “But…”
“But nothing,” interrupts Bucky with a wave of his hand. “My word counts, I used it in a sentence and her tits are spectacular…gimme my points.”
While Steve exhales in exasperation, you cock your eyebrow at Bucky and place the word ‘good’ next to his. You look up at him with a devious smile playing on your lips.
“If you’re a good boy Barnes, I might let you fuck them sometime.”
Bucky growls lowly while Steve’s eyes widen, a pale pink blush creeping up his neck. You arch your back and push your chest out for full effect as both men continue to stare.
“Stevie?” you call out innocently, as your fingers glide up and down over a spot in between your breasts. “I think it’s your turn.”
“My turn?” Steve responds hoarsely, trying to clear his throat. “Oh right, the game.”
You notice his fingers tremble slightly as he arranges his tiles on the board.
“Radio,” he mutters while avoiding eye contact with you. “I like listening to the ballgame on the radio.
You turn to Bucky and watch as his eyes dart from the board to his tiles and then back again. He grins widely and begins to spell out his word.
“Sweet,” he says, his tongue running over his lips as he locks his eyes on yours.
“All I can think about doll is how sweet your pussy is going to taste on my lips.”
You hum softly at the thought and slowly reveal your next word.
“Dirty,” you purr seductively.
“Jesus,” mumbles Steve as he shifts nervously in his seat waiting for your sentence.
“I want to feel that dirty tongue of yours licking my clit.”
Hands dropping to his knees, Steve exhales slowly and bows his head to stare at the floor; the blush on his face becoming a deeper shade of pink.
Bucky eyes flutter closed for a moment before he scrambles to respond.
“Were,” he murmurs as he grins wickedly. “I wish you were cumming all over my mouth.”
Steve snaps his head up in confusion and motions with his hands for Bucky to stop.
“Hold on Buck, I think it’s my turn.”
Steve’s protests are drown out by the sound of your heart beating loud and fast in your chest as you press your tile firmly on the board and fix your eyes on Bucky.
“Wrap” you smirk as you bring your beer bottle up to your mouth. “I want to wrap my lips around your thick, hard cock.”
You wink at him as you slowly lick the rim before taking the bottle into your mouth and downing the liquid in one shot.
“Bad” Bucky groans in response, his excited eyes riveted to yours. “I want you so fucking bad right now.”
You smile teasingly as you place the word ‘ride’ on the board. Bucky bites down hard on his lip.
“I want to ride your cock hard until you shoot your load deep into my pussy.”
Bucky tilts his head and gives you one of his sexy, crooked smiles. He stares straight into your eyes and murmurs “pussy.”
“Wanna stretch that tight little pussy with my big cock.”
You squirm in your seat as the wetness begins to soak through your panties.
“Wet,” you whimper as you position your word. “Thinking about you fucking me is making me dripping wet.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Steve discreetly drop his hands under the table.
Bucky grins wickedly as he lays his letters on the board.
“Hard” he growls. “I’m going to fuck you so hard that you can’t walk tomorrow.”
Oblivious to Steve and the rest of the team that have now turned their attentions from the movie they were watching to your game, you and Bucky continue to throw down tiles and the dirty talk.
“I hate you guys,” mutters Steve as he pushes away from the table and gets up from his seat. Tony, Bruce and Thor snicker quietly as they watch him walk stiffly to the elevator.
“Mmmm Soldier,” you tease as you spell out ‘rough’. “All I can think about is you fucking me fast and rough from behind while you spank my ass.”
Bucky’s breath hitches as his tiles form the word ‘prayer’.
“I’m going to have you screaming my name like a prayer while you cum all over my cock sweetheart.”
You inhale sharply at his words and place your remaining tiles on the board.
“I’m going to be your dirty little slut tonight Bucky.”
Bucky’s darkening eyes bear down on yours with such intensity that you feel like your skin in on fire. The heat between your bodies is electric – firing showers of sparks that threaten to ignite the desire bubbling so close to the surface. You both sit motionless; fighting a silent, internal battle as your willpower threatens to collapse.
Bucky opens his mouth to speak when Natasha walks in and quickly scans the room with a quizzical look.
“Which one of you gave Captain America the raging boner?” she smirks. Fingers quickly point to you and Bucky.
With confused looks, you both turn towards Steve’s seat, not realizing that he had left the room. Bucky turns to Nat with a large grin.
“That would be miss porn star mouth over here.”
You throw a handful of tiles at his chest and huff loudly. “Hey you were talking up a filth storm too Barnes.”
“Nicely done,” praises Natasha as she grabs a beer and sits down next to Bruce. “I passed Rogers on his way to his room about 15 minutes ago and he looked ready to blow his load.”
Bucky chuckles and picks up his phone.
“Well then, this should speed things up,” he murmurs as he taps at the screen.
He’s about to place it back down on the table when the sounds of phones chiming around the room make him freeze in place. His eyes dart to his phone and widen in horror.
As you reach out for your phone to see the incoming message, Bucky quickly snatches it away.
“Bucky, give me back my phone,” you scold. “It sounds like we are getting a mission update.”
Bucky ignores your outstretched hand and jumps to his feet.
“I’ll…I’ll read it to you,” he offers nervously, his face flush with fear.
“Yes Barnes why don’t you give us all an update on this mission,” snickers Tony as he taps his phone in mid-air to bring up the picture of your ass on the projection screen.
“Are you planning to penetrate their defenses starting at the back door?”
Your mouth drops open in shock and you turn to look at Bucky with your eyes blazing.
“Bucky…” you slowly growl as you rise to your feet and grip the table. “Did you send that picture to the entire team?”
“Well not exactly,” Bucky confesses, bracing himself for your reaction. “I sent it to the entire team plus everyone on my contact list.”
Watching the anger rise in your expression, Bucky backs away slowly, his hands held up in defense.
“I’m sorry babe, it was an accident.”
“What the fuck Bucky?!” you scream in disbelief as you start to chase him around the table.
“Sam says hi,” he replies matter-of-factly over his shoulder before slowing down to change directions to avoid your grasp as you move to the right and deke left.
You both begin to slowly circle the table when F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice stops you in your tracks.
“Captain Steve Rogers has achieved climax at 10:18 pm.”
You clasp your hand over your mouth to stifle a gasp of disbelief while the rest of the team bursts into laughter.
As Bucky turns to high five you, he’s greeted by a flurry of hands slapping at his arm.
“Whoa babe, relax,” he coaxes gently while he wraps his arms around yours to pin them to your sides.
“Let me go soldier,” you demand, struggling to break free from his steely grip. “So I can shove that phone up your ass.”
‘Mmmm, my kinky little girl,” he murmurs as he pulls you in closer to his body. “You’re going to be a handful in bed tonight aren’t you?”
His hands move down into your shorts, squeezing and kneading your ass as he spreads your cheeks.
“So what do I get to put in yours,” he smirks as his metal finger presses against your tight hole.
Bucky chuckles in amusement as you struggle to swallow a moan rising from your throat.
“Dream on Bucky,” you scoff shakily as you try to regain your composure. “You’re not getting anywhere near my ass tonight.”
“Awww come on sweetheart, don’t be like that,” he pouts as he caresses your backside. ”Need to give this sweet booty a little treat tonight.”
“Had I known it had the power to defeat Captain America, I would have called in this asset a long time ago.”
You groan loudly at his bad joke and roll your eyes. Looking at you innocently through his lashes, Bucky leans in and cocks his head; attempting to soothe your anger with a playful smile.
“Ugh, that’s not going work this time Barnes,” you grumble as your hands move up to his chest to push him away.
Bucky lets out a deep breath while you turn your back to him to avoid his persuasive eyes. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you back tight against his chest. His chin on your shoulder, he starts to sway your body from side to side.
“What can I do to make it up to you?” he pleads softly, his lips pressing against the pink flush of your cheek.
You lean your head back on his chest and sigh. “There’s nothing you can do Bucky.”
“How am I going to look Steve in the eye tomorrow?”
Bucky dips his head to make eye contact and raises his eyebrows.
“Doll, I don’t think your eyes are what he’s going to be looking at when he sees you again. And I don’t blame him.”
You laugh softly and shake your head as he gives your ass a soft squeeze - silently cursing yourself for giving into his charm.
Brow furrowed, Bucky gazes at the scrabble board, deep in thought. After a few moments, you feel his back suddenly straighten as an idea takes shape in his head.
“I think I know how I can make this up to you babe,” his says coyly as he guides you to the game table.
You look down in confusion as Bucky reaches over you to the tiles scattered on the table and begins to arrange them on the board.
A smirk begins to form on your lips as you watch the words take shape. You respond to Bucky’s hopeful, apologetic gaze with a nod of approval.
Smiling, he takes your hand and leads you towards the elevator.
An hour later, still gathered in the common room, Tony, Bruce, Nat and Thor hear their phones start chiming simultaneously. Tony creases his brow and transmits the incoming message from your phone onto a projection screen. A collective groan rises up from the men as Bucky’s naked ass comes into view.
“That’s it,” snaps Tony. “I’m confiscating their phones in the morning.”
A small smile tugging at the edges of her mouth, Natasha cocks an eyebrow and mutters appreciatively under her breath.
This is a big question, a tough one, and one that I can only answer based on my own experiences by encouraging anyone who is considering a PhD to ask themselves a series of smaller questions. These would include:
What do you want to do with your PhD? Teach? Research? Write? Work inside the academy, or outside?
Depending on the answers to the previous question - how viable are careers in your field doing the thing you want to do? Increasingly, at least in the US, universities rely upon exploited contract labor (grad students and adjuncts) rather than tenure-track professors due to how much cheaper that labor is, so if your field doesn’t seem to have a lot of sustainable career paths open, you’ll want to at the very least have a backup plan or two.
Do you love reading? Because that’s the thing grad school has been all about, in my experience. I’ve learned how to read a lot of very dense and complex material very quickly with an optimized level of comprehension, and I’ve learned through that reading how to write my own things that other scholars would want to read. In a humanities/social science program with a 3-course semester load, I’d say you should expect to read roughly 400 pages per week, plus any writing assignments responding to those readings your professors ask for. This does not include reading in preparation for seminar papers, which can add a whole heck of a lot more on your plate.
What motivates you? If it’s money, even in the long run, I cannot recommend a PhD program unless you’re going to be like, an economist or something. Lots of my colleagues are motivated by a love of learning and a genuine, persistent curiosity about their object of study. Lots of them are also motivated by a fervent belief that better scholarship can lead to better culture and politics, and that by doing what we do as both writers and teachers, we can change the world for the better. More than anything I’m in the latter camp, though I obviously have to be deeply intrigued by my research topic to sustain my work.
What and who else do you need to consider in taking on the lifestyle of a PhD student? If you make any money at all through a teaching or research gig, you won’t be making much. You will work nearly all the time. You might end up moving across the country for jobs several times, sometimes to places that have nothing more than their local college/university. You will probably be cranky a decent amount of the time. You’ll need to travel for conferences and the like. If you have a partner or dependents or cannot/will not live in certain places or under circumstances, you should be up front with yourself and all invested parties in those things. If you have health - physical, mental, etc - needs to consider, these things shouldn’t be a barrier to your pursuit of academic degrees, but 1) sometimes will be on an institutional level because the academy is ableist as fuck and 2) are things to be thinking about before choosing a place to move to or a program of study.
What will the financial situation be? I’m lucky enough to be in a program where I receive a full tuition remission and a teaching stipend - though I do only get paid my regular wage 9 months out of the year and still live below the poverty line, my livelihood is not in immediate danger should I not secure funding for the next semester. Usually tuition remissions are tied to paid positions, so if you’re not getting a stipend, you’re often also paying thousands of dollars to attend the University. Don’t do this for a PhD. I literally cannot think of a situation in which it would be worth it to pay 5-7 years of tuition for this degree. Any program worth its salt will pay you to be there.
What program will you attend, and who will you seek to work with there? I only applied to programs that I would’ve been thrilled to attend - which meant I only applied to three. Lots of people apply to closer to/over 10 programs, including ‘safety schools’ they believe they’re more likely to get into. For me, it was always more about getting to do the kind of work I want with the kind of mentors I was looking for than it was about getting a PhD at any cost. I chose a program where several faculty members would influence my work in ways that excite me (which turned out to be for the best, as my advisor left for another university in the middle of my program), so the entire intellectual community of my program is one that’s exciting and helpful for me and my work. If you have a way of getting this information, I also suggest you try to find out what kind of advisor your desired mentor is - I know that there are some scholars in my field who I would not have had a good time working with just because of personalities, and my happiness is something that’s important to me even as I slog through the work!
Are you okay feeling like you’ve put things on hold, in even just a small way, for 5-7 years? My colleagues and I are all committed to having as full lives as possible, with families and wide circles of friends and hobbies and other things we’re committed to, but all of that takes a lot of work. And even with those things, depending on what stage of life you’re at, there might be things that you find need to wait until you’re done or almost done - buying a house, having a baby, etc. etc.
Related to the last one: Where are you in life generally? I was just barely 22 when I started my program, only 3 months out of my undergraduate degree, where I’d lived in a house with a cook and a cleaning crew and, despite working very hard at my schoolwork and jobs, had not done a lot of the ‘grown up’ day-to-day life maintenance stuff myself. My first year in my program was so difficult because I was juggling learning how to be an adult with learning how to be a graduate student and learning how to be a teacher and learning the actual material of my courses. It was a lot, and I also gave up my young-20′s party girl lifestyle to move to a college town where I was closer in age to my students, but couldn’t go out without feeling anxious that I would run into one of them. In the end, this is what I needed - I grew up, and I figured out my mental health (in time), and I committed myself to the kind of politics and pedagogy and lifestyle that I had come to my program in search of - but this would’ve been a bad move for tons of other people. If you’re just finishing up undergrad, unless there is a particularly compelling reason to go straight through to the PhD (in my case I like to believe there was, though I’m not entirely certain how much of that is a rationalization I’ve built up for myself after the fact), I would not recommend starting a PhD right away. My friends and colleagues who took even just a year off seem to have had an infinitely easier time coming back and feeling good about the decision and being able to juggle it all.
And if you do decide to start a PhD, here’s what I think is one of the most important things to know - you probably will, and probably should, have at least one period of time where you question whether or not this is the right thing for you. I’d be concerned if a friend who had committed themself to the amount of work a PhD program throws on you never once had a moment of ‘dear jesus mary and joesph is this what i want to be doing for the rest of my life’ (because while it ends, in a certain sense, when you graduate, the life of an academic proceeds in similar ways for quite a long time from my understanding). I had two big moments like this in my life - and admittedly, one of them was on Election Night 2016 when the results became apparent, so that’s less related to my desire to do academic work and more related to what I thought the world needed from me moving forward. They were both important moments. You need to let yourself have them. And if the answer to the question “do I want to keep doing this” (not “am I cut out for this?” though, that’s a different question entirely that I ask myself most days) is a resounding ‘no,’ or even a whispered ‘no,’ you should take it seriously and figure out what it means to leave graduate school. Especially for PhD students, it’s hard to see leaving the academy as anything but giving up or a failure, but it’s literally not. The academy, by and large, is a horrible place. PhD programs, by and large, are peddling knowledge that will do little good to a lot of people and offers hardly any future job security in a lot of fields. Yes, it can be right for some folks depending on their wants/needs, but it doesn’t have to be right for everyone, and you can realize that at any time.
SO YES, THIS IS A VERY LONG SET OF QUESTIONS AND THOUGHTS but that’s because taking on a PhD is a very big choice and commitment, at least for the time that you’re working on it. And the academy is exclusive and ableist and racist and sexist and homophobic and cissexist and classist as hell, and so especially for those of use who are women and lgbtq and have mental illnesses and/or disabilities and for those who are not white or citizens or American (presuming you’re considering the American academy, which is all I can really speak to despite the feeling that it’s no better in many other places), we need to think long and hard about whether putting ourselves in the position of being further exploited, further burdened, further beaten down is worth the end goal. I’m certainly hoping that it will be for me - I love the work I do, I love to teach, and I love the smart and compassionate colleagues I’m lucky enough to call friends. But it’s a big commitment, and so I hope you all take the time to think it through! I’m always happy to talk through it with you, so drop a line if you need!
As you and the rest of The Avengers test your willpower in an unusual challenge, your attempts to remain Master of your Domain are complicated when James “Bucky” Barnes makes you his mission.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Chapter 4 continues with the slow, slow build, Some angst thrown in, Smut to come, Fluff for now, Serious with some funny, Swearing, Flirting, Sweetness, Sexual tension, Teasing, Dirty Talk, Touching, Groping, Fingering, Language, NSFW, Marshmallows, Bucky Barnes
A/N: Wow, this chapter was a tough one…things got a little out of hand with the word count. I know it’s a change in pace from the previous ones and probably not as entertaining (or smutty) so I hope you’re not too disappointed. I just really needed to write this - would not get out of my head. So please bear with me…promise to get back to the smutty hilarity in the next two chapters ;)
To everyone who sent me messages, feedback and requests to be tagged after Chapters 1 - 3 THANK YOU! You are the best! I hope I remembered to tag everyone, apologies if you were missed. Send me a note if you would like to be tagged.
To my twitter babes: thanks for the support, love and smut ;)
Chapter 4: Dreams
That night you collapse into bed, groaning loudly as your bruised and weary body sinks into the mattress. Staring at the ceiling you try to shake thoughts of Bucky from your head but you can’t seem to stop the scenes in the gym from replaying on a continuous loop. Every captured image, from his eyes wild with excitement and want or his hard body pressed against yours, is like a self-imposed torture on the senses.
Although every muscle in your body is on fire, nothing compares to the ache between your legs. You and Bucky had both crossed a line that afternoon and as far as you were concerned, you never wanted to go back. All you could think about were Bucky’s fingers rolling over your slick and sliding into you. Even though it was only for a brief moment, it was enough to drive you out of your mind. And they weren’t even his metal ones. You bite your lip hard at the thought of those metal digits circling your clit and plunging into your heat.
You had been fascinated with the mechanics and sheer power of his metal arm from the very moment you meet Bucky. But after overhearing him tell Steve one day that Stark had fixed the vibrating function on his bionic fingers, you found yourself constantly imagining all the dirty things you wanted that hand to do to your body.
The first time he had touched you with it, you were so turned on that you couldn’t speak. You had just stood there silent, your eyes growing wide and mouth falling open as a wave of heat rolled through your body. Bucky however, mistakenly interpreted your reaction as one of fear and to your disappointment, had quickly withdrawn his touch in embarrassment.
For weeks you tried everything to get his hands back onto your body but he seemed to be avoiding all contact – going as far as disobeying an order from Natasha to train with you. He finally confessed the reason to her the night of the party when he had bolted from his seat to escape your stare. Natasha, the consummate matchmaker, assured Bucky that the only thing you were afraid of was how hard you were falling for the super soldier…and that you may explode the next time he touched you with what you referred to as his “weapon of mass distraction.” Noting his confused expression, Natasha was only more than happy to fill Bucky in on your metal arm kink.
After that, it was near impossible to wipe that cocky smirk off his face every time he caught you staring at his arm. It was no surprise then that he was doing his damnedest since the contest started to feel you up every chance he got with his metal fingers. And they did not disappoint.
Fuck. If his fingers feel that good on your body, his cock was going to wreck you.
Jesus that cock. Your pussy twitches as you recall your fingers tracing his erection – so big and thick - through his shorts. How you had managed to restrain yourself from pulling down that thin layer of fabric and wrapping your mouth around that cock was a mystery. The taste of his pre-cum was seared on your lips and you wanted more, so much more. Back arching, you imagine the feel of his hard shaft sliding between your folds and filling your core.
Huffing loudly as you kick the blankets off your legs, you wonder how the hell you’re going to sleep tonight with all of these filthy thoughts of Bucky circling in your head. Turning towards the direction of Bucky’s room you wonder if he’s awake – if thoughts of you were driving him to distraction.
Hmph. Bastard was probably sleeping like a baby, dreaming of Dolores or Mildred or whatever the fuck the women back in his day were called. You feel a pang of jealously as you picture Bucky, looking handsome in his army uniform, flirting and dancing with all the ladies. Arm flexing, you smirk as you give his imaginary girls the once over. You could probably take them, no contest.
Ugh the contest.
Pounding the pillow with your fist, you squeeze your eyes shut and curse yourself for being so competitive. Just give into him and let him win you argue in your head. So you lose just this once, no big deal.
Oh my god, did you just say that? Your eyes fly open. No fucking way in hell Bucky was going to come out on top.
Shit. Now you were picturing him on top of you, driving his hard cock into your pussy.
You look up at the ceiling and sigh. It was going to be a long night.
When sleep finally claims you it’s only for a short while as dark dreams take hold.
You’re standing at the end of a long hallway, lights so bright that they burn your eyes. Two figures appear at the other end, calling your name. Your parents. You try to run to them but your feet are too heavy. Light bulbs explode overhead as you struggle to make your way towards them. By the time you reach the other end of the hallway, they’re gone. All that’s left is a small wooden box at your feet. You bend down to pick it up and open the lid. A sweet, fragile melody fills the space. You are so entranced by the music that you don’t notice the hands reaching around to cover your mouth.
You wake strapped to a chair, faceless men surrounding you. Then you see him, standing silent against a wall. Bucky. You try to call out to him but your head is gripped tight in a steel vice. On the floor is the music box, playing its haunting melody. As the vice begins to pulse around your head, Bucky’s face begins to fade. A booted foot comes crashing down on the music box. Then there is darkness.
You start screaming Bucky’s name.
You awaken to the sound of your bedroom door flying open, a large shadow filling the frame.
“Bucky?” you gasp out hopefully through your tears.
As the figure moves forward, your eyes focus on Steve smiling warily.
“Sorry to disappoint you kiddo,” he says in a slightly dejected voice. “It’s just me.”
“I can go get Bucky if you want.”
Sensing his wounded pride, you shake your head and manage a small smile.
“Get that cute ass of yours over here Cap,” you order shakily, patting the bed.
Steve smiles and sits himself down.
“Another bad dream?” he murmurs as he rubs his thumb over the top of your hand in slow, comforting strokes.
You lean forward to rest your head on his shoulder.
“It’s been months since I had any and now this week, one every night,” you answer sheepishly. “I thought I was finally getting a handle on them.”
Steve tilts his head trying to make eye contact.
“Hey, don’t beat yourself up. Believe me, I know how just the smallest thing can trigger these dreams.”
“Didn’t mean to wake anyone,” you mumble as you brush away a fat tear rolling down your cheek.
“It’s ok, I was already up,” he answers with a heavy sigh.
As Steve leans in to wrap his arm around your shoulder, you wince as he makes contact with your sore body.
“Looks like you and Bucky went at it pretty hard today,” he scolds as he looks over the bruises on your arm.
“Ugh, he’s such a punk sometimes,” you protest while looking up at him with an innocent pout. “Can Captain America beat him up for me?”
“I think you’re doing a damn fine job on your own,” he chuckles. “And I suspect if I ever threw a punch at him you’d clock me.”
Steve’s lips curl into a mischievous grin. “You’re crazy about him, aren’t you?”
“What?” you sniff indignantly. “You think I’m falling for that smug bastard?”
Steve shakes his head smiling. “You’re not a very good liar sweetheart.”
Your attempts to stare him down in defiance fall to the wayside as he raises an eyebrow and gives you a knowing look.
Hands covering your face, you fall back onto the bed. “I’m a fucking idiot.”
“You are far from an idiot,” he laughs as he rubs your leg. “You’re a smart, beautiful, strong woman…with lousy taste in men.”
His smile fades slightly as he looks at you, a hint of regret in his eyes. “Any man would be lucky to be with you.”
“I just want one man,” you confess as you turn your head to hide the blush creeping into your cheeks.
“But I can’t seem to shake the feeling that he’s just messing with me to win this contest.”
Steve shakes his head in disagreement. “Bucky isn’t a player. He wouldn’t string you along like that.”
“You’re good for him, good for each other,” he continues with a distant look in his eyes. “He’s been so happy lately.”
“When he’s with you, it’s like he’s my old Bucky.”
“Well your Bucky is kind of hard to read sometimes,” you stammer in frustration. “I can never tell what’s going on in his head when we’re together.”
“Well,” Steve smirks. “I’m no expert when it comes to relationships, but I think it’s pretty obvious that Bucky has a thing for you.”
“The guy has a constant boner when you’re around.”
“Oh my stars and stripes,” you gasp in mock horror. “Did Captain America just say boner?”
Steve rolls his eyes. “You’re such a brat.”
“You know on second thought, forget what I said about Bucky being into you,” he ponders while rubbing his chin in exaggeration. “He told me just yesterday that he prefers redheads.”
You scoff in annoyance and pull back to strike him in the arm.
Despite being doubled over with laughter, he somehow manages to grab your fist and block your punch.
“Bucky wasn’t kidding,” he teases as he brings your hand up to his lips and kisses your knuckles in apology. “You’re a feisty little kitty today.”
“hmph,” you grumble as you pull your hand away and cross your arms.
“Come on kitten,” he coaxes in a smooth voice as he rises from the bed. “Let’s get you some warm milk to help you sleep.”
“Meet me in the kitchen in 5 minutes.”
His warm smile melts away your glare.
“Steve?” you whisper, your eyes lowered as you play with a loose thread on your comforter.
He frowns, his face masked in concern.
“Thanks,” you stammer, eyes welling up with tears.
“Anytime sweetheart,” he murmurs while kissing your cheek.
As he makes his way to the door, he pauses to examine the splintered frame.
He shakes his head and mutters. “That little punk has it bad.”
The walk down the long hallway to the kitchen proves to more nerve-racking than anticipated and by the time you reach the entrance, you’re clutching your arms around you to stop from shaking. Your heart sinks as you enter the dark room and realize that Steve must still be upstairs. Eyes cast down to the floor, you hurriedly make your way to the fridge and swing the door open to grab a bottle of water.
“Back for another round?” a voice questions gruffly from the darkness.
You gasp loudly, nearly dropping the bottle and snap your head up. Peering into the darkness, your eyes land on Bucky, sitting alone at the table.
“Or are you too busy licking your wounds?”
You smile weakly at him, too spent to offer a retort.
“What, no smart comeba…” His smirk fades as the light from the refrigerator illuminates your tear-swollen eyes and ashen complexion.
Within seconds he’s standing in front of you, hands running over your shoulders and down your arms.
“What’s wrong doll,” he stammers as his eyes quickly examine your body. “Are you hurt?”
“Oh god, did I…did I hurt you?” His voice thick with fear and concern, you barely hear the words come out of his mouth.
As you start to shake your head from side to side, he breathes an audible sigh of relief. His worried eyes searching yours, it only takes a moment to read the terror and sadness in them – a reflection of what he’s seen in his own far too many times.
And in that one moment of understanding, your walls come crashing down. Without a word, Bucky swiftly pulls you into his body and wraps his arms protectively around you as you begin to sob uncontrollably against his chest.
“It’s ok baby, I’ve got you…I’ve got you,” he murmurs over and over into your ear.
His hand comes up to stroke your hair in comfort as he plants a long kiss on the top of your head.
It takes a while before your tears finally subside and you regain your breath. Clutching his shirt, damp with your tears, you start to mumble the details of your dream into his chest.
He grips you tighter as you tell him about your parents, the music box, the Hydra agents and how he had just stood there and watched as they erased your memories.
“I called out to you but it was like you couldn’t hear me,” you whisper, trying to contain the tears that were threatening to spill over again. “I woke up screaming your name.”
As you feel his body tense, you silently wish you had kept that part to yourself.
“I promise I’ll never let anyone hurt you,” he chokes out defiantly. “I’ll keep you safe, always.”
He looks at you, his intense blue eyes shimmering with tears.
“Please say you believe me.”
You answer his plea with a soft kiss on his neck before locking your gaze onto his.
“I trust you with my life James.”
A quiet sigh escapes his lips.
“I’m so sorry doll…that I wasn’t there to hear you calling for me.” His voice cracks with emotion as he cups your face in his hand.
“I came down here after…” His voice trails off as a wave of pain and fear rolls across his face and his body sags heavily against yours. It only takes a second for you to register why Bucky was up so late, sitting alone in the dark.
You pull his head down to rest his forehead on yours. You can feel his body trembling as you run your hands up his back and pull him closer.
“Shit I’m so stupid,” you mutter as you rub calming circles on his back. “Here I am spilling all my emotions onto you and I didn’t even stop to think what you were doing down here.”
“Is there anything I can do for you babe?”
A small smile flickers across Bucky’s lips. “For starters, never stop calling me babe.”
You blush fiercely in the dark as you realize your slip.
“Second,” he says as he leans in to kiss your forehead, “let me make you some hot chocolate.”
“I hate drinking alone.”
You nod and give him one last lingering hug before he pulls away towards the stove.
“Not sure what happened to Steve,” he shrugs as he turns on a small light over the stove and lights the gas. “He heard me yelling in my sleep and came in to check on me. Told me to meet him down here so we could talk.”
“That’s my fault,” you mumble guiltily as you come up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist while he pours some milk and hot chocolate mix into a pot. “He came to my room too after he heard me screaming. He must have been on his way to see you.”
“He said the same thing, to meet him down here…” You pause, smiling as you realize that Steve had intentionally sent you to the kitchen to be with Bucky. Bucky shoots you a knowing smile over his shoulder as he comes to the same conclusion.
A hiss from the stove diverts your attention. Bucky chuckles as you rise up on your tiptoes to try and get a better look over his shoulder.
“So, the Winter Soldier drinks hot chocolate when he can’t sleep?”
He motions to a bottle of rum and marshmallows on the counter. “My own special recipe.”
You smile in approval and move to grab two mugs from the cupboard. Bucky steals a sideways glance, humming in appreciation as he watches your t-shirt ride up to reveal a pair of black silk panties.
Turning to make your way to the kitchen table, you stop abruptly when you spy his Mark II knife next to a can of whipped cream.
“Were you expecting to come down here to find Hydra agents raiding the fridge for our leftovers?”
You raise an eyebrow as he turns towards you, his arms crossed in defense.
“Old habits die hard,” he drawls as his eyes dart to your waist. “But you know that better than anyone, don’t you sweetheart.”
You stare unblinkingly into each other’s eyes for a few moments until Bucky drops his gaze to slowly scan down your body.
“Are you going to surrender yours or do I need to throw you down on the table and do a strip search?”
You swallow hard and feign innocence as you feel the wetness pooling between your legs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about solider.”
“The hell you don’t.”
“I felt it through your shirt,” he challenges as he takes a few steps towards you, eyes shining in amusement.
“Or should I say my shirt.”
Sighing in defeat, you pull up the right side of your t-shirt to reveal a small, sheathed Yari tucked into the waist band of your panties. You pull it out and place it next to his.
“Fuck doll,” he purrs, biting his bottom lip. “Talk about a killer body.”
“You make me want to blow my load right here.”
“Keep it in your pants Barnes,” you warn, rubbing your hand a few times along the bulge forming in his sweats until he moans. “I want to be surprised when I rip them off your body.”
He runs his tongue slowly over his lips at the thought as he turns to pour some hot chocolate into two mugs. He adds a splash of rum to each and throws in a handful of marshmallows before joining you at the table.
“We make quite the pair,” he muses as he hands you a mug.
“It’s a wonder we’re allowed to stay here considering we could snap at any minute and wipe out all of the Avengers in a murderous rampage.”
“Dibs on Tony,” you call out as you lightly blow on your hot chocolate before taking a sip.
Bucky throws back his head and laughs.
“Deal,” he answers. “But only on one condition.”
“Should have known there was a catch,” you grumble, narrowing your eyes while you peer at him over your mug.
He smiles and looks down at the table, his fingers tracing over your knife. “Well, since you’re armed and dangerous, I know I’d feel a lot better if I kept you close to me tonight.”
Placing the mug down, you chuckle to yourself and raise your eyebrows in amusement.
“And just how close do you want me soldier?”
Bucky’s lips curve into a flirtatious grin.
“Well, I’m thinking I could keep a really good eye on you from my bed,” he murmurs, his eyes locked on yours as he drinks from his mug.
You’re about to respond with a smart remark when you notice a hint of pleading in his tired eyes, and realize his proposal is masking a need he’s too afraid express. Just like you, Bucky Barnes doesn’t want to be alone tonight.
Bucky drops his head slightly in disappointment at your silence but raises it quickly when he feels your fingers tracing over his metal hand.
“I have one condition of my own Barnes before we get in between your sheets,” you counter with a sly smile. “Hands where I can see them, especially this one.”
Pushing back your chair, you grab your hot chocolate and the two knives before turning to go.
Glancing behind you see Bucky, grinning widely, pick up his mug and start towards the door. He pauses and turns back to grab the whipped cream from the table.
You shake your head in exasperation and laugh.
“In case we need it for our hot chocolate,” he responds with a wink.
A sigh of contentment passes from your lips as you slip under the covers of Bucky’s bed and breathe in his scent. As his metal arm snakes over your waist, you turn onto your side to face him. You reach up to brush a rogue strand of hair from his eyes so you have an unobstructed view of his gorgeous face.
“I hate my hair sometimes,” he mutters in annoyance as the strand falls back over his eye. “I should just cut it all off.”
He’s surprised by your loud gasp.
“James Buchanan Barnes, if you ever cut your hair short I swear I will kick your ass all the way back to 1944!”
Bucky laughs and holds his hands up in surrender as you remove a hair tie from your wrist and reach over him to pull his hair back into a small bun.
“So you like your men with long hair,” he teases as his hand tucks under your shirt and starts to move lightly over your back.
“Mmmm yes, and your hair is the perfect length to grab onto when your head is in between my legs,” you purr into his ear before lying back down.
His eyes flutter closed for a moment and you hear him mutter “fuck” under his breath.
Opening his eyes, he questions hopefully. “What else do you like in your man?”
“Hmmm,” you ponder as you play with the collar of his shirt. “Well, my guy is this ridiculously handsome solider from the forties who is smart, funny, too sexy for his own damn good and aggravatingly cocky.”
“He’s extremely flirty and the dirty mouth on this man, unbelievable. He’s also incredibly protective and caring and although he will deny it, has a really good heart…plus a sinful body that looks like it was carved by the tears of angels.”
Bucky shakes his head blushing. “Sounds like a ghost story.”
You bite your lip and reach out to stroke the stubble covering his sharp cheekbones.
“I like his stubble too…oh yes, very much,” you whisper lost in thought.
Bucky dips his head to rub his stubble along your neck.
“Fuck babe, that feels incredible,” you whimper.
He brings his lips to your ear and whispers. “See anything else you like?”
“Well, he needs to be able to fuck me properly, so…” your purr as your hand travels down his taut chest to dip below the band of his sweatpants.
Bucky groans into your neck.
“And this,” you moan breathlessly as the fingers on your other hand begin to make their way slowly over his metal arm. “I really like this.”
“He sounds pretty awesome,” Bucky teases as he pulls you closer.
“Yeah, he’s alright,” you shrug nonchalantly. “Except for the fact that he won’t kiss me.”
A mix of surprise and frustration registers briefly on Bucky’s face. He sighs deeply and begins to trace his metal fingers gently along your jaw line.
“Well maybe he’s a hopeless romantic who’s met his soulmate” he confides shyly. “And he doesn’t want to fuck anything up so he’s waiting for the right time to kiss you.”
“A moment when he doesn’t feel like he’s taking advantage of you because you’re drunk, or scared because of a bad dream.”
“That one perfect moment,” he continues in a hushed whisper, “when you both know that you’ve found something special; beyond anything you ever expected or thought you deserved to have in your life.”
You stare silently into his warm blue eyes with a stunned expression on your face; cheeks flush as your heart nearly beats out of your chest.
“I will never get tired of seeing you blush doll.” As his hand moves up to gently stroke your cheek, he frowns at the dark circles under your eyes.
“Nat says you haven’t been sleeping well these past few days.”
Eyes dropping, you slowly nod your head.
“These dreams started up the night you left,” you confess. “I’m not sure…not sure what triggered them.”
“Is it the same one every night,” Bucky asks. “The one you told me about in the kitchen, with your parents?”
“No, that’s the strange thing,” you muse. “I’ve always struggled to dream about my parents but tonight I saw them so clearly - like they were in the room with me and my music box.”
Bucky tilts his head in interest. “The music box in the dream, it was yours?”
“Yes, the one my dad gave me as a birthday present,” you recall with a smile. “It was a little wooden box with a ballerina on the cover – it played Swan Lake. When I was around five, I remember being afraid of the dark and I was scared to fall asleep at night. My dad told me that the music in the box was magic and it would protect me. I would fall asleep to that melody every night.”
“It’s silly, I know,” you admit.
Bucky smiles gently. “No, that’s really sweet.”
“After my parents died, the music box was the only thing I had left of them when they brought me to the orphanage.”
“I was so young when they took me away to the Red Room to start my training, so confused and scared. I would take out the music box every night and think about my parents as I cried myself to sleep.”
Voice faltering, you hesitate, not sure if you should continue. Bucky cups your face with his calloused hand and smiles in encouragement. You take a deep breath.
“I had hidden it under a floorboard in my room, but somehow they found it. They told me that sentiment was a weakness I couldn’t afford and they destroyed it in front of me.”
Bucky brushes away the tears that start to flow down your cheeks.
“I’m being ridiculous,” you whisper. “Crying over a toy.”
“You’re not being ridiculous,” he scoffs as he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the tip of your nose.
“So much for my badass reputation eh?” you laugh sarcastically. “I guess they were right, sentiment makes you weak.”
“Want to tell that to my body sweetheart,” he murmurs as his lips brush over your jaw line. “Trust me, you’re anything but weak.”
You breathe in deeply as his lips skim down to the hollow of your neck.
“I guess I should lay off the ass kickings for while,” you chuckle as your hands move down his back to lightly smack his ass. “Don’t want to make this gorgeous body of yours too sore to move.”
You feel him smile against your neck.
“As much as I enjoyed rolling around with you on the floor of the gym today,” he confides, “I’d much rather work you into a sweat right here in my bed.”
“I’m a lover, not a fighter.”
A groan escapes your lips.
“What,” Bucky exclaims in mock surprise. “You can’t handle the romance?”
“I’ll let you know when you get around to dishing some out soldier.”
He laughs and guides your head down onto his chest. You lay silent, listening to the comforting rhythm of his heart as he strokes your hair.
“You know, I’ve never told anyone that story about the music box,” you admit, lazily drawing circles over his hard pecs.
“I need to be careful around you Barnes. I seem to have a weakness of opening myself up a little more than I should with you dark, brooding types.”
Bucky smiles and shifts your body so you’re lying on top of him.
You let out a breathy moan as his hands move under your panties and his fingers start to trace down the cleft of your ass.
“Doll, I haven’t even started to open you up yet.”
“James!” you whimper as a metal finger circles your back entrance. “Wh-what did I say about that hand?”
“Well, if I remember correctly,” he smirks, “you said my metal hand was your biggest kink, your pussy gets wet just looking at it and you constantly imagine all the dirty ways I’m going to use it on your body.”
“Fucking Nat and her big mouth,” you grumble as you still his hands and pin them down on either side of his body.
“Mmmm, I love it when you take control,” he growls while nipping at your shoulders.
Hovering over him, you grin wickedly and drag your pussy along his hardened shaft. His head falls back, eyes closing as he moans.
You lower yourself to whisper into the shell of his ear.
“Tell me Barnes,’ you coax in a low growl. “What else do you love about me?”
As he knits his brow in concentration and stares deeply into your eyes, you become mesmerized by his expression and start to loosen your grip on his wrists. A sly smile suddenly flashes across his face and he overtakes you by surprise, flipping you on your back.
“Absolutely everything doll.”
You let out a soft moan as his metal hand begins to move under your shirt.
The next morning, you hear the door to Bucky’s room creak open slowly and see Steve peer around the corner.
You lift your head to speak but Steve stops you with a motion of his finger to his lips. He gives you a questioning gesture and sighs in relief when you respond with an ok sign.
A look of confusion clouds his face as he watches you point repeatedly to where Bucky’s hips are pressed tightly against your ass until you clearly mouth the word “boner” and wink.
Steve hangs his head, shaking it in resignation before slowly closing the door. But not before making a not-so-Captain-America-like-gesture with his middle finger in your direction. You gasp silently in mock disapproval.
Behind you, Bucky chuckles softly and pulls you back into his chest, nuzzling his face into your hair as you both fall back asleep.
You believe you are the masters of the world, but your reign as kings and gods is at an end. Until you recognize us as human, as equal, the fight will be at your door. Not on a battlefield but in your cities. In your streets. In your homes. You don’t see us, and so we are everywhere. And we will rise up, Red as the dawn.
I am participating in @mrs-squirrel-chester‘s album fan fiction
challenge. I am using Sara Bareilles’ album Kaleidoscope Heart.
Entry number 6. Sorry I didn’t post anything last week. It was a bit trying and I couldn’t get into the mood to really write some fluff.
Description: I really love this song and I hope I did it justice. When Bucky rebuffs your attempts to get to know him better, it puts you at odds. Until you end up in harms way. Can you trust him enough to give him your heart.
Word Count: 2368
Warnings: Curse words, fighting, Bucky being a shit
“Steve! I can’t believe you haven’t told Bucky about that night.” You laugh.
“It’s embarrassing.” Steve groans.
“We all admitted plenty of embarrassing stuff during that game of Never Have I Ever. Tony was so scandalized.”
“He has no room to be scandalized. And you’re incorrigible.”
“You love me.” You turn to Bucky. “Next time, you’ll have to play so we can discover all of your dirty little secrets.” You shoot Bucky a wink.
Bucky’s gaze is cold when he replies. “Why do you do that?”
“You act like you’re flirting. Don’t.”
His response shocks you. He’s always been standoffish and you’re pretty sure that is the most words he’s ever strung together in your presence. You grab your drink from the counter. “Right, then. Sorry.” You leave in a hurry.
“Seriously, Bucky. What the hell was that?” Steve whirls to face Bucky.