chaining is the worst

shit i remember from my 2007 - 2013 fanfiction.net experiences (before i finally jumped ship for ao3 like everyone else)
  • “don’t like don’t read”
  • uses of the terms “lemon” and “lime” (apparently there was a difference. lemons were porn but i’m STILL not sure what a lime is. i also have NO idea how “lemon” came to mean “porn”. not sure i want to, tbh.)
  • soooo many “i do not own please don’t sue me” disclaimers
  • fics where the whole premise that the whole cast was trapped someplace together and the reviewers would leave questions in their comments and then the characters would answer them in-story. like “ask that guy with the glasses” except shitty and usually self-indulgent towards the author’s preferred ships. (i may have written one of these when i was 12.)
  • authors who legit updated on a schedule (and stuck to it). some every fucking day. (you still see this on ao3, but not NEARLY as much.)
  • fanfic authors who basically had a following and fandom of their own. (again, this still happens, but not as much. not sure if that’s a good thing or not.) not bad considering most of them were 13.
  • “yaoi!!! that means boy kisses!!! don’t like don’t read!!!”
  • putting “————-” or “xxxxxxx” bc ff.net wouldn’t let you insert a horizontal line to show the end of a section
  • very long, very rambley author’s notes
  • some of which had the authors interacting with/talking to the characters in the fic.
  • fics that weren’t so much stories as they were a chapter-by-chapter detailing of all the cliche plots and tropes used in that fandom’s shitty fanfics. (i actually sorta miss these, tbh)
  • songfics. no, not fics inspired by songs. fics where the lyrics were put in between every paragraph, with some lyrics altered to fit the characters. it was horrific.
  • fics that were up-front about the oc being a stand-in for the reader so they can read about themselves getting with their fave character. as in, it was written in second person and the summary outright said the pov character was meant to be the reader.
  • the forums being used for roleplay before tumblr rp was a “thing”
  • long, LONG author profiles, filled with things like “copy/paste if you’re a [whatever] shipper!” or obviously fake sickly sweet anecdotes (think chain email levels of bad), or worst of all (in my opinion), a pro-life anti-abortion story from the point of view of a fetus. it was as bad as it sounds, if not worse.
  • listing all your ships on your author profile page
  • seeing a title that was all lowercase letters and thinking “lazy” rather than “aesthetic”
  • “101 one ways to annoy [insert character here]” (voldemort was popular for these things)
  • it being fucking impossible to find f/f fic that wasn’t porn
  • writing ships as “characterxcharacter” instead of “character/character”
  • author’s notes in the middle of the story. literally you would be reading a fanfic and all of a sudden, in between paragraphs… A/N: awwww isn’t it cute how they’re thinking the same thing!!! XD”
  • for that matter, author’s notes using the XD emoticon
  • people FLIPPING THEIR SHIT whenever their fave author (or just a well-established author in the fandom) changed their username. ESPECIALLY if they changed it from something fandom-specific to something more neutral.
  • “character x/character y. NO CHARACTER X/CHARACTER Z.” bc apparently you think i’d think your fic clearly marked character x/character y would be nothing but character x and character z making out.
  • trollfics trying to capitalize on my immortal’s infamy. there are still trollfics, of course, but they tend to be more subtle. 
  • for that matter, trying to pass a trollfic off as a legitimate fic rather than just admitting it’s a parody
  • specifically reading fics for your notp just to bash it in the reviews
  • people putting replies to reviews for the previous chapter in the author’s notes (this died down a LITTLE once ff.net finally added a reply function, but not much)
  • the great fanfiction.net purge (ahh yes. history lesson time. basically, back in the olden days of fanfiction, when everyone actually used ff.net, one fateful day, back in biblical times – 2011 – ff.net decided to make MA rated stuff – basically porn – not be allowed on the site anymore. ofc people kept posting it anyway, but then ff.net started deleting stories from the website with no notice to the authors. just poof! gone. the aftermath was HORRIFIC. people were FURIOUS, as a lot of people had no backup and just lost their stories. so ff.net stopped enforcing the rule, but the damage was done. this was when people began to officially leave for ao3, i think.)
  • lots of harry potter fanfics about the my immortal versions of the characters interacting with the canon characters. some of these were actually quite funny – i think they’re still around, but i don’t see them as much. (i actually wrote one of these stories. it is still, to this day, the most popular story i ever wrote.)
  • drabbles that were ACTUALLY 100 words long.
  • fictionpress (a sister site for original fiction. it was like wattpad before wattpad was wattpad. it never really took off. come to think of it, i may still have some stuff on there from when i was 12 i need to take down)
  • “crackfics” that consisted mainly of “lulz iM SO RanDOm!!!111!!!!!oneone XD cheeeeeeeese!!!!!!” humor
  • “i suck at summaries”
  • “this is my first story so please be nice”
  • “i’ll only update if i get 10 good reviews”
  • AUs before “AU” was a really widely used term, so the author’s note would have a length explanation for why they had to change things for the story and apologizing over and over instead of just noting the AU in the summary
  • AUs out of laziness rather than for creative/plot reasons (ie, “luna’s a gryffindor in this fic because i couldn’t find another reason for her to be here”)
  • authors notes apologizing for late updates
  • being genuinely shocked when you found a GOOD fanfic
GUITAR SONGBOOKS

I’ve managed to collect a ton of official guitar songbook PDFs for various albums which are totally accurate and verified. I thought I’d make a masterpost for anyone who would like to use them! These links should send you to Google Drive and you can download them from there.

AC/DC - The Best Of

Alice In Chains - Dirt

Alice In Chains - Facelift

Arctic Monkeys - AM

Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare

Arctic Monkeys - Suck It And See

Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not

Audioslave - Audioslave

Blink-182 - Blink-182

Blink-182 - Enema Of The State

Blink-182 - Take Off Your Pants And Jacket

Bon Jovi - Crossroad

Bush - Sixteen Stone

Coldplay - A Rush Of Blood To The Head (Piano)

Coldplay - Mylo Xyloto (Piano)

Coldplay - Viva La Vida (Piano)

Coldplay - X & Y (Piano)

The Cranberries - The Best Of

David Bowie - The Best Of (Piano)

Def Leppard - The Best Of

Ed Sheeran - + (Piano)

Ed Sheeran - X

Eric Clapton - The Best Of

Fall Out Boy - Folie A Deux

Fall Out Boy - From Under The Cork Tree

Fall Out Boy - Infinity On High

Florence And The Machine - Ceremonials (Piano)

Foo Fighters - The Best Of

Foo Fighters - The Colour And The Shape

Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand

Green Day - 21st Century Breakdown

Green Day - American Idiot

Green Day - Dookie

Green Day - Nimrod

Guns N’ Roses - Appetite For Destruction

Guns N’ Roses - Use Your Illusion I

Guns N’ Roses - Use Your Illusion II

Incubus - Make Yourself

Incubus - Morning View

Kings Of Leon - Only By The Night

Led Zeppelin - IV

Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory

Linkin Park - Minutes To Midnight

Metallica - Load

Metallica - Master Of Puppets

Metallica - Metallica 

Metallica - Ride The Lightning

Metallica - St. Anger

Muse - Absolution (Piano)

Muse - Black Holes And Revelations

Muse - Origin Of Symmetry (Piano)

Muse - The Resistance

Muse - The 2nd Law (Piano)

Muse - Showbiz

Nirvana - In Utero

Nirvana - Incesticide

Nirvana - Nevermind

Nirvana - Unplugged In New York

Oasis - Be Here Now

Oasis - Definitely Maybe

Oasis - (What’s The Story) Morning Glory

Panic! At The Disco - A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out

Paramore - Paramore (Piano)

Paramore - Riot!

Pearl Jam - Ten

Pink Floyd - Dark Side Of The Moon

Pink Floyd - The Wall

Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here

Queen - The Best Of

R.E.M. - Out Of Time

R.E.M. - The Best Of

Radiohead - Amnesiac (Piano)

Radiohead - The Bends

Radiohead - Hail To The Thief

Radiohead - In Rainbows

Radiohead - Kid A (Piano)

Radiohead - OK Computer

Radiohead - Pablo Honey 

Rage Against The Machine - Rage Against The Machine

Rage Against The Machine - The Battle Of Los Angeles

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magik

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication

Red Hot Chili Peppers - I’m With You

Red Hot Chili Peppers - One Hot Minute

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium

The Rolling Stones - The Best Of

Silverchair - Frogstomp

The Strokes - Is This It

Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness

Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream

Soundgarden - Superunknown

Van Halen - The Best Of

The White Stripes - Elephant

3 Doors Down - The Better Life

There’s this great pain behind her. She lost everything she ever had and the only reminder she has of her world is her worst enemy to whom she is chained … But you can also be kind without being at all nice and I think Quill is probably that.  She’s not even remotely nice and she doesn’t want to be your friend. But she fought for what she believed in and maybe she will do the right thing in the end.
—  Patrick Ness (LA Times 4/15/2017)

( segment of : an idea for a scenario where sport’s terrified of thunderstorms )

There was a terrifyingly heavy lurch, sending him crashing to the floor. It lasted for what seemed like forever before the shakes finally stopped.

Though with it, the lights got turned off. Sportacus remained on the floor, groaning as he gingerly cradled his head. There was definitely going to be a bruise in the morning. Once the initial dizziness passed, the elf slowly pushed himself up. It took a few seconds for him to take in the situation, his slow sweep of his surroundings melting into full blown panic.

No. Oh no. Nonononono.

Sportacus tried every button on the control panel, pulling levers and yanking chains but in the end, his worst dreams were realized.

The airship was damaged. Just before a storm rolled through the town.

Already he could feel the interior getting colder as the heat slowly dispersed. No heating unit. No lights. No hums of the airship to slightly muffle the sounds outside.

The first pitter patter of rain hit the window panes.

Sportacus bit his fist in an effort to stop the scream from ripping out of his throat. Get a hold of yourself. This wasn’t the time to panic. There was nothing to panic over. He was a hero. A slightly above average hero. He shouldn’t be scared of silly silly things.

But he was. He was scared. He was so so scared. The thunder hurts his sensitive ears and the lightning planted images of burning airships that crashed into a town filled with people that he loved and cared. The chill that was starting to seep into his bones was eerily similar to that night and– and the darkness. Oh god the darkness.

There was still a bit of light but soon… soon it was going to be completely pitch black and here he was, outside of the town in an area of unknowns and—

Boom. Crash. Whimper.

He needed to. Need to get out of here. Can’t stay here. It was weak to run but god, he had to leave. Have to find someplace else.

Where to go? Wander aimlessly in the rain? Staying underneath trees– no. Bad idea. Bad bad idea. Can’t stay here. Have to go. Where though. Where to go?

An image popped up in his hazy mind. Go there? No. He didn’t want to show weakness to him. Didn’t want him to see the elf for being a loser, coward, hoax. Didn’t want but have to. Can’t stay. Have to go.

Anywhere is fine. Just leave. Now. Now. NOW.

Run. Run like the coward you are.

Just a reminder that I’ll be posting the stories that get to me the most on my personal blog! Please give it a follow (sixpenceeeblog.tumblr.com/)

6 minutes

by reddit user recordatus

I suppose I should preface my story with the fact that I wasn’t always a religious man. I mean I’m still not, but at least now I know there’s something more than just “us.” I don’t know about some ultimate plan or divine judgement, but I hate to break it to you atheists, there’s a whole other world waiting for you when you die.

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“thor dangling in chains, fifty shades of thor”

andre’s the worst

more gorillaz head cannons

-when noodle arrived, 2d and murdoc tried their damnedest to be sure she had a happy child hood. Murdoc even began to feel like he played the role of her father. When she went missing, he felt like the worst guardian ever.

-murdoc started his chain smoking after the stress from having the band, and keeping it together settled in. 

-when Noodle saw All the girls coming and going from murdocs room, one day she asked him what they were there for. His exact reply was “they wanted a bit of fun.” Noodle thought that just meant they watched movies or something m so one day after she and 2-D were in his room, watching night of the living dead, murdoc asked her what she was doing in there. She answered “we were having a bit of fun.” 

-Murdoc feels guilty for what he had done to 2-D, but refuses to accept thats what it is. He often drinks obscene amounts of alcohol when he feels especially guilty. But, he never tells anyone what’s wrong.

-2-D isn’t really that absent minded, but he is always out of it because of his migraine medication. He isn’t aware that it makes him seem so scatter brained.

I'll Show You (Part 8) - Theo Raeken Imagine

A/N: Here’s the last part of the “I’ll Show You” series. Theo isn’t really there that much in this part but it still has a lot to do with both Y/N and Theo. I really hope you guys enjoyed this series and the ending. Thank you for all the love, I really appreciate it. PS. sorry in advance for any spelling/grammar mistakes etc.

[Masterlist]


Note: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4,
Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Pairing: Theo x Reader
Warning: None, I think.
Word count: 1932


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Why We Love to Hate Popular Chicks on TV

So I’ve been thinking too hard about Chloe Bourgeois from ‘Miraculous Ladybug,’ and I had to write out why she and her fellow queen bees were so interesting to me. That train of thought led me to writing this meta post about teenage girl bullies in fiction.

 I’m not a fan of the “Alpha Bitch” name for this trope on TvTropes, and queen bee is too cutesy, so I’m using girl-bully instead. It’s not a perfect replacement, but hopefully I’ll be able to make my argument all the same.

Characters mentioned include Chloe Bourgeois, Pacifica Northwest, Gretchen Wieners, Quinn Fabray, Cordelia Chase, Trixie Tang, and Rachel Green. The focus here is Western television.

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Chew the crunchiest foods with your mouth open? Scream on speaker phone every day? I hope you enjoy my new keyboard

This one is short, but sweet.  My office is set up to be nice and open.  We are a small office, consisting of 5 people.  My co-worker, who sits closest to me, has the manners of a wild animal.  She never washes her hands, doesn’t cover her mouth when she sneezes, and makes all of the doorknobs smell like cigarettes from her chain smoking.  The worst of her offenses is her noise level.  She talks to her obnoxiously loud daughter every single day on facetime, for at least 20 minutes.  Her daughter and grandchildren live in Scotland so Facetime it is… on speaker.  Those disgusting creatures (daughter included) will belch, fart, scream, laugh, for the entire chat.  They need some Gas-x in their lives.  I have asked her to go outside to talk because I can’t hear my clients, but she said it is too hot and there is nowhere else to talk other than her desk.  Aside from her conversations, my co-worker also chews the crunchiest foods with her mouth open.  Her mouth sounds as though someone is trying to cheese grate rocks.  We have to deal with these things because she has worked here for 30 years and the boss loves her.  She is also a diligent worker bee.    

My revenge is simple.  I went to Frys (local electronic store) and found a new mechanical keyboard.  Now when she answers her phone, or eats her concrete chips, I start mashing away.  CLICK CLACK CLICKITY CLACK CLACK.  I think the negative reinforcement training is working   because today she went to her car to talk to her daughter.  She came back up drenched in sweat.  Success!

edit:  A lot of people think I smell the actual doorknob… I do not.  The smell is transferred to my hand when I open the door.  Sometimes I forget to wash my hand after, and get a nasty whiff when I go to push my glasses up, or scratch my face.  

So, as a thank you for putting up with me and my asks, and just a thanks in general, I made a matching pair of necklaces for Nochoco.

This also was a great bit of practice for my charcoal drawings, as I have never done metalics before.

Thanks again friend, here is to more theories, facts, and good fiction.

Maleficent´s Foretold Curse Spread

In villainy, everyone faces awkward situations from time to time. You could end up feeling quite distressed because of other´s oversights. Such happens when dealing with rabble, I´m afraid. 

So for all of you out there feeling left out and humilliated in front of any old grand glittering asemblage, this spread is for you. Why, it only contains Maleficent´s tried and true recipe for curse-laying! Once you get the gist of the Mistress of All Evil´s curse-crafting 101, you will know how to manipulate energy to take their happiness away and shove it into their faces.

Read on.

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