I looked down at my watch for what seemed like the millionth
time since I came into the room almost half an hour ago. 3:20. I
still had 40 minutes of detention left. I peered up at Ms.
McCormick who was sitting at her desk and scribbling busily in a
notebook. I couldn’t believe she gave me such a long detention for
being a couple of minutes late. If it wasn’t for her, I could be
home right now watching TV instead of sitting in class an extra
hour. Oh well, at least I’d be able to get a head start on my
homework, I told myself. Just as I stared down at my anatomy book
to begin reading the chapter, I heard a loud fit of laughter coming
from the doorway followed by Ms. McCormick’s annoyingly reproachful
“You’re late,” she growled in the meanest tone possible.
I looked up from my book to see Chad Parker and Kyle Clark
entering the room.
“Sorry,” Chad said. “We had to tell Coach Davis we weren’t
gonna be at baseball practice today.”
“Yeah, thanks to you,” Kyle mumbled under his breath.
It’s a good thing Ms. McCormick was hard at hearing, I
“Have a seat,” she said, menacingly.
As the two troublemakers searched for their seats, I
casually checked them out, as I had done many times before in the
hallways. They were both pretty hot guys a year older than me,
athletic, in great shape, with a certain cockiness that turned me on
for some reason. Chad was tall with blond hair, blue eyes, and was
wearing jeans tight enough to show off his enormously round bubble
butt. Kyle was about the same height with brown hair, green eyes,
and had an ass that was a close runner-up to Chad’s. Much to my
surprise, they both took seats on each side of me, so now I was
sitting between two of the hottest guys in school. Trying not to
pop a boner, I tried to take my mind off of the two hotties by
returning to my studies. My eyes gazed across the letters but
didn’t really read the words. I was in no mood to study anatomy
unless it involved Chad or Kyle.
Suddenly I heard Ms. McCormick’s voice again, as she
said, “I need to make copies of tomorrow’s worksheets. You’d better
behave while I’m gone unless you want another day of detention.”
I heard both guys groan from both sides of me. Then Ms.
McCormick headed out, closing the door behind her.
“You’d better behave unless you want another day of
detention,” Chad mocked, in a pretty accurate portrayal of Ms.
Kyle cracked up laughing, as if it was the funniest thing in
the world, while I pretended to be interested in my anatomy book.
“Yeah, here’s my response to that,” Kyle said.
Then the unimaginable happened. BRRRRUMPPPPP!!!!! Kyle let
out the loudest, most obnoxious sounding fart I had heard in a
while. It lasted for about 5 seconds, was full of bass, and
vibrated loudly against the wooden desk he was sitting in. It was
such a manly sounding fart. Suddenly a whiff of sweaty unclean
butthole wafted my way from Kyle’s direction. Chad laughed
“Good one,” he commented. “But not better than this.”
I looked out of the corner of my eye just in time to see
Chad lift his ass slightly off of his seat and fire a fart in my
direction. PHHHHRRRRTTTTT PHRRRTTT BLAT!!! A nice high-pitched
three-parter that ended with a short wet blast. It wasn’t long
before the smell of rotten eggs drifted my way. Chad cracked up at
his own fart, while Kyle waved his hand in front of his nose, waving
the stink away.
“Damn dude,” Kyle said. “What the f*** did you eat?”
“Well I had the taco salad today in the cafeteria,” he
replied. “So there should be much more where that came from.”
All this time, I just sat in between them, right in the
middle of the crossfire and fart talk. It was just like surround
sound. I suddenly noticed that my cock was starting to rise a
little in my pants.
“Try to match this,” Kyle said, then I heard him straining a
little, before another fart blasted out of his hot ass.
“Ahhhh,” he sighed with relief.
Not only was this one a lot longer and louder than the
first, but the smell was a lot shittier, like half-wiped asshole.
“Dude, you really need to learn to wipe your ass after you
take a shit,” Chad said, laughing his ass off.
“Maybe if I wasn’t in such a hurry to get to Ms. McCormick’s
detention, I would’ve,” Kyle responded.
By now, I had a full hard-on. I couldn’t believe these two
hot seniors were cutting smelly farts right in front of me and
talking about it like it was nothing.
“Hey, what are you reading?”
I looked up and noticed that Kyle was talking to me. Then I
looked down at the page I was on. Male anatomy. And there was a
big diagram of the male reproductive system on the page.
“I think he’s checking out some guy’s dick,” Chad chimed in.
“But I—” I started to explain.
“Are you a fag, boy?” Chad asked, sneering at me.
I opened my mouth to answer, but Kyle interrupted
“Do you know what we do to little fags like you?”
Kyle and Chad both exchanged mischievous glances. Then,
before I knew it, Kyle jumped out of his seat and was standing in
front of my desk, with his protruding bubble butt only mere inches
from my nose. All I could do was stare with amazement at
the “bootyful” sight before me. Then I felt Chad’s hand grab my
head from behind and as if in slow motion, I felt him push my face
towards Kyle’s inviting, farting jean-clad ass.
“Do you know what we do to little fags like you?”
Kyle and Chad both exchanged mischievous glances. Then, before I
knew it, Kyle jumped out of his seat and was standing in front of my
desk, with his protruding bubble butt only mere inches from my
nose. All I could do was stare with amazement at the “bootyful”
sight before me. Then I felt Chad’s hand grab my head from behind
and as if in slow motion, I felt him push my face towards Kyle’s
inviting jean-clad ass.
Suddenly my nose was pressed right into the seam of Kyle’s tight
jeans. The smell of his ass hit me right away. It was a perfect
balance of sweaty buttcrack, musk, and slightly dirty funky
asshole. I was pretty sure that my nose was directly on his hole
because the smell was pretty strong. I felt Kyle rubbing his butt
back and forth on my nose, grinding his hole on my nostrils, and
simultaneously felt my cock grow even harder. I was completely
loving it, but in order to hide my enjoyment from the two bullies, I
tried to pull away. But Chad wouldn’t allow it. He quickly shoved
my head back into his friend’s stinky butt, and I guess the sudden
pressure from the push caused Kyle’s butthole to react, and I was
instantly struck by another loud fart.
PPPPhhHHHhhRRuuUUuuuuUuuUMpPpPP PHHERRTT!!!!! A nice deep fart
followed by a high-pitched toot. As he farted, a long, strong gust
of hot wind blasted me right on the nose quickly followed by a
overpowering shitty smell mixed with sweat. The smell was
undeniably manly and a big turn on. I heard Kyle and Chad both
“Aw man, it stinks,” Chad commented between loud fits of
laughter. “You ever heard of toilet paper?”
“The bathroom was all out,” Kyle replied, nonchalantly.
PHHERRTTT PHERTTTT!!! This one was shorter and more high-
pitched, but the smell only got stinkier.
“So how does my ass smell, fag?” Kyle taunted.
Chad pulled my face out of his friend’s butt so I could respond.
“Pretty gross, can you stop now?” I asked, secretly hoping he’d
say no and continue.
“Hmmmm ” Kyle hesitated. “Sure.”
I felt my heart drop with disappointment, then he said, “I’ll let
Chad take over instead.”
Kyle and Chad did a quick switcharoo so I couldn’t escape the
wrath of their nasty gas. The next thing I knew, Chad had smashed
his butt onto my face and let out a loud stinky fart in my
“Ahhhhh,” he sighed with relief, rubbing is crack on my face.
A strong egg smell wafted up my nostrils and filled them up with
stink. Before I could recover from the strong smell, another one
blasted me in the face a second or so later. BRUUUUMP BRRRUUUUUUMP
BRUMP BRUMP!!!!! A nice four-parter each one smellier and louder
than the last. The smell lingered in my nostrils for what seemed
like a lifetime. Then I felt myself being pushed out of my seat,
while I heard Kyle say, “I got one, I got one.”
As I fell to the floor, Kyle rolled me over on my back and I saw
him pulling his pants down. I got a glimpse of his tight white
briefs and wondered how they held his big bubblebutt so easily. I
noticed a pretty long medium-brown skidmark down the center. Then
before I knew it, he was sitting on my face in skidmarked, funky
briefs. The moment the soft cotton briefs touched my face, I felt a
long blast of hot air spread across my nose, as he let out an SBD
through the skidmark in his underwear. This one was the worst-
smelling one yet. Like pure unclean shitty butthole. Kyle lifted
up for a moment and I saw him pulling down his underwear. He
squatted back over my face, his raw naked slightly hairy asscrack
resting on my face with my nose pressed to his stinkin’ butthole.
His hole smelled very musky and dirty. Then he cut another series
of farts. BruuuUmp BruuUump BruUuUump PHERRTTT!!! Followed by
more hysterical laughter. I heard the guys slap palms, giving each
“Smell that one, fartface,” Kyle demanded, menacingly.
“Ooh ooh, I got one,” Chad chimed in, excitedly.
Once again, they made a quick switch. Chad quickly pulled down
his pants and straddled my face in tight-fitting boxerbriefs. He,
too, had on unclean underwear, with a few light skids in the seat of
his boxerbriefs that I could see through the back. He squatted down
and let my nose enter into his ripe butthole. I heard him straining
really hard, and felt his butthole pushing out against my nose
really hard. Then after a few seconds of pushing…
PPPPPppPPPHReEERRRrTTTtttTT BLAT BLAAAATTTT SQUIRT-SQUIRT!!!
As the overwhelming eggy/shitty smell blasted my face, I noticed
that the cloth felt a bit moist on my nose. Then I felt Chad
quickly jump up and saw him pull up his pants really fast.
“Oh shit,” he said, buckling his jeans frantically. “I think I
let out a too much.”
Both guys cracked up, as Chad hurried out of the door and down
the hall toward the bathroom.
I just laid on the floor, completely blown away by the whole
“Hope you learned your lesson, shitface,” Kyle said,
sneering. “Now get back in your seat and pretend it never happened
before Ms.McCormick gets back. And if you say anything about it to
anybody, we’ll do it to you again, but this time we’ll invite the
whole baseball team.”
The thought of being farted on by the whole team made my cock
even harder, but I guess Kyle wasn’t paying too much attention. I
quickly got off of the floor and into my desk before he could notice
the throbbing boner in my pants. A few seconds later, Ms. McCormick
returned, carrying the copied worksheets. She suddenly stopped in
her tracks as she entered the room.
“What happened in here?” she asked, her face scrunched into a
disgusted expression. “Smells absolutely atrocious. One of you must
be responsible for this.”
Neither one of us spoke.
“That leaves me with no choice but to give BOTH of you another
day of detention,” she said. “And where is the other hoodlum? No
one leaves detention without permission. I will see ALL of you
Kyle groaned loudly. I looked back down at my anatomy book and
smiled inside. I wondered if I would get more of Chad and Kyle’s
smelly fart treatment.
Agent Carter: The Fandom Hypocrisy re Jack Thompson
To those of you who supported Peggy against Jack re the decision to blow up Jason, may I ask how many of you supported Coulson and Daisy in shooting Donnie in cold blood?
Bearing in mind of course that Jack had zero methods of containment, zero ICERs, and is dealing with a person whose powers is likely to go uncontrolled at any moment as opposed to a child with well controlled freezing powers whose only “crime” was to be brainwashed? (Oh, and Jack was never so power hungry as to believe, as Whitney/Coulson does, that they can use the power for themselves)
To those of you who are against the way Jack led Vernon Masters to his death, how many of you cheered on Melinda May when she similarly engineered the death of Kara Palamas?
Bearing in mind of course, that Kara Palamas was yet another brainwashed agent, and that situation arose only because SHIELD sold her out in exchange for Bobbi’s very high entrance into Hydra’s labs, and Kara is hardly a very politically powerful person whom is practically above the law as Vernon Masters is, and good fucking luck bringing a man like that to justice (it’s literally like telling Agent Mulder to bring the Syndicate to justice via the usual law channels lmao). Oh, and Melinda also pulled a Jarvis because she wanted revenge over Kara stealing her face, which, again, brainwashed agent, so how is it Kara’s fault?
And to those of you screaming alongside Peggy that Whitney deserves humane treatment… uh, where was your “compassion” when Jemma and Daisy were stabbing Grant Ward in the back?
Bearing in mind that Grant Ward was also a brainwashed child soldier whom never killed more than mission success required, whether for SHIELD or Hydra (at least until the writers decided that they needed to retcon him for want of a cardboard villain), while Whitney was literally the equivalent of Daniel Whitehall in Agent Carter.
And lastly, for the people who are all “Jack is so wishy washy I wish he’d pick a side and stick to it”… remember that Jack Thompson is a SPY. And as this episode amply proves (kudos to the writer of this episode for finally giving Peggy an equal instead of constantly portraying her as the Only Sane Man in a roomful of idiots), he is a DAMN GOOD ONE. To be able to play three sides against each other to reach the desired result with little to no collateral damage… do you know how many different variables he’d have to keep track of for the plan to go off without a hitch? The level of information he has to be able to control in addition to controlling what he tells everyone else? HE. IS. A. SPY. AND. A. FUCKING. EFFICIENT. ONE. HE. MAY. BE. A SUPPORTING. CHARACTER. IN. A TV. SHOW. CENTERING. AROUND. PEGGY. CARTER’S. LIFE. (And occasionally dumbed down by the writers because Peggy must stay center staged) BUT. POLITICAL. CONNECTIONS. WILL. ONLY. BRING. YOU. SO. FAR. HE. IS. STILL. SKILLFUL. HE. IS. NO. GILDEROY. LOCKHART.
So if you’re not willing to understand just what a spy does, how their rules are murkier than superheroes’, and why a Steve Rogers will always need a Natasha Romanov by his side to do the dirty deeds he either can’t or won’t do, it’s better that you go back to pure superhero shows until you’re ready to accept that shades of grey exist between your black and white worldview.
As an end note, I don’t know if this is purely the acting skills of Chad Michael Murray vs Clark Gregg, but you really feel the regret (of the necessity) of Jack’s “I’m making the hard call” vs Coulson’s sanctimonious, megalomaniacal delivery of the same line. Jack feels deep regret that things came to such a pass, whereas post S1-Coulson is always stubbornly, chest-puffingly insistent that the ends justified the means, and he should have goddamn gotten a medal because of his hard calls (which generally involves throwing his own agents on whatever danger was about to be set off, while Jack DELIBERATELY SABOTAGED PEGGY’S CAR so that they won’t be able to follow and get caught in the line of fire, leaving his own survival as the only variable he needs to gamble with).
(I’m just hoping the finale’s writer doesn’t wipe out Jack’s choice in a deus ex machima way. AGAIN.).