Someday I’ll explain it to you, why they came, why they won’t ever go away. But I’ll tell you how I survive it. I make a list in my head, of all the good things I’ve seen someone do. Every little thing I can remember. It’s like a game. I do it over and over. Gets a little tedious after all these years, but… there are much worse games to play.
“Good night,” I whisper to the bow in my hand and feel it go still. I raise my left arm and twist my neck down to rip off the pill on my sleeve. Instead my teeth sink into flesh. I yank my head back in confusion to find myself looking into Peeta’s eyes, only now they hold my gaze. Blood runs from the teeth marks on the hand he clamped over my nightlock. “Let me go!” I snarl at him, trying to wrest my arm from his grasp.
“Peeta had put me to bed and I had asked him to stay with me as I was drifting off. He had whispered something I couldn’t quite catch. But some part of my brain had trapped his single word of reply and let it swim up through my dreams to taunt me now. ‘Always.’”
I just don’t want them to change me. Turn me into something I’m not. I-I-I just don’t want to be another piece in their game, you know?
I just keep wishing I could think of a way to show them that they don’t own me. You know, if I’m gonna die, I wanna still be me.
My piece for @meabhd colouring competition, I turned her line art of Will and Lyra into my original OTP Katniss and Peeta from The Hunger Games, this was super fun to paint thanks for letting us do this!