If Hitsugaya asked other characters for help with his paperwork...
As requested by anon. :)
Hitsugaya has decided he needs help with paperwork! Or perhaps he is playing a paperwork related game. Either way, he is going around asking other Bleach characters if they will help him with his paperwork. What will be the result?
Hitsugaya: Matsumoto, I need your help with some paperwork.
Matsumoto: Ooh, captain, I’d love to, but I’ve already promised to go drinking with Kira and Hisagi!
Hitsuagaya: I’m your captain!
Hitsugaya: YOU NEED A BETTER EXCUSE THAN THAT
Hitsugaya: Ukitake, I have all of this paperwork I have to do and -
Ukitake: Of course I’ll help you!
Ukitake: Now, which paperwork do you least mind being speckled with blood stains?
Hitsugaya: Maybe I’ll ask someone else.
Ukitake: Wait! At least take some candy!
Hiyori: What’s this? Some kind of weird flirting thing that short guys use?
Hiyori: YOU PERVERT
Hitsugaya: I JUST SAID HI
Kenpachi: Sure, I can help.
Kenpachi: Yo! Yumichika!
Kenpachi: Help this guy with his paperwork.
Kenpachi: Yumichika loves doing paperwork.
Yumichika: Loves it?? I’m just the only one who will do it!!!
Hitsugaya: I know that feeling.
Hinamori: Why haven’t you asked me, Hitsugaya-kun?
Hitsugaya: It’s just that you…
Hitsugaya: Well, you’ve had a rough couple of years.
Hitsugaya: And I won’t burden you any further than I already have!
Hinamori: It’s paperwork. Not a stabbing.
Hinamori: I swear, captains are so dramatic…
Hitsugaya: I AM NOT DRAMATIC
Luppi: Look at you, tiny shinigami, trying to get other people to help you with your work!
Luppi: I could destroy eight piles of paperwork all by myself.
Hitusgaya: Do, not destroy.
Hitsugaya: I’m looking or someone to do them.
Luppi: Oh? Then why did you ask the espada of destruction?
Hitsugaya: I never even asked you!
Luppi: And you’ll come to regret that choice!
Hitsugaya: What is even going on???
7. Cang Du
Cang Du: Give me the paperwork, Hitsugaya Toshiro.
Cang Du: I have already possessed your zanpakuto, your soul.
Cang Du: It is only right that I take from you the rest of your identity as well.
Hitsugaya: Uh, it’s paperwork, not my “identity.”
Cang Du: Well, from what I’ve heard…
Hitsugaya: MY LOVE OF PAPERWORK HAS BEEN SOMEWHAT OVERBLOWN YOU KNOW
Gin: I’m hurt, Hitsugaya.
Gin: That you never asked me for help.
Gin: You know that I love to do what I can to help out my fellow captains.
Hitsugaya: No thanks. I have enough work without getting caught up in a murder web.
Gin: A murder web? Through paperwork? How on earth would I manage that?
Hitsugaya: I don’t know.
Gin: But you want to find out?
Karin: Well, I guess I can help.
Karin: Since you helped me with soccer or whatever.
Hitsugaya: Uh, I never asked you to -
Karin: Of course, since I don’t know anything about Soul Society really, you’ll have to teach me everything before I do the paperwork.
Karin: But that’s cool.
Hitsugaya: …is this just an excuse to learn about Soul Society?
Karin: Well it’s not like my brother is chatty!
Ichigo: Toshiro, look -
Hitsugaya: IT’S CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA
Ichigo: You know I’m always down for rescuing anybody from any situation…
Ichigo: But I’m trying to cultivate my reputation, you know?
Ichigo: It’s hard enough trying to keep my good grades and love of Shakespeare on the down low!
Hitsugaya: You like Shakespeare?
Ichigo: I don’t want people to think I’m a -
Ichigo (whispers): Nerd.
Hitsugaya: Don’t think you need to worry about that.
Byakuya: Help? With paperwork?
Byakuya: We are captains of the Gotei-13.
Byakuya: We do not request help.
Byakuya: - at least not with matters that are as mundane as paperwork.
Byakuya: Is this another one of your “jokes”?
Hitsugaya: …uh, yes?
Byakuya (muttering): I wish I was good at jokes.