ch:matsumoto

If other shinigami had to live in Ichigo’s closet...


As requested by anon. :)


Rukia, as we know, happily and willingly lived in Ichigo’s closet. Because of her enormous closet fetish, one assumes. But what if other shinigami were sent to the human world and told to stay in Ichigo’s closet? How would that go?


1. Hisagi: Makes the mistake (?) of bringing his guitar

Ichigo: WHAT IS THAT TERRIBLE NOISE?!?

Ichigo: [opens closet]

Hisagi: …

Ichigo: Oh. Hey, dude.


2. Matsumoto: Turns the closet into a room and Ichigo’s room into a closet

Ichigo: W-what the hell?

Ichigo: Why is my room covered in racks of clothes?

Ichigo: And why are they all women’s clothes??

Matsumoto (opening the closet door suddenly): Don’t be silly, Ichigo! I got you some new outfits too!

Matsumoto: God knows you needed them!

Ichigo: GAH!!


3. Byakuya: Is a bit….confused

Byakuya: Kurosaki Ichigo, why do you insist on calling this tiny box a closet? Where is your real closet?

Ichigo: That is my real closet, Byakuya.

Byakuya: Ridiculous. You insult me and all closets by insisting that this tiny thing is a closet.

Ichigo: Can closets be insulted?

Byakuya: THEY CAN NOW


4. Isane: Is self-conscious about her height

Isane: I-I can fit in here! It’s no problem!

Ichigo: Well okay but you could also stay in the guest room.

Isane: Nonsense I LIKE being awkwardly folded!

Ichigo: …


5. Renji: Is just grateful to have a truly free room

Renji: I don’t have to do chores, right?

Ichigo: ‘Course not, man.

Ichigo: So long as you don’t mind my tiny, thirteen year old sister doing all of the work. By herself.

Renji: …

Renji: I knew I should have just slept in a tree.


6. Yoruichi: Just shares Ichigo’s bed

Yoruichi: Ichigo, forget the closet! I’ll just sleep with you!

Ichigo: Y-you can’t just -

Yoruichi: In cat form, of course!

Ichigo: Oh.

Yoruichi: Disappointed?

Ichigo: NO


7. Iba: Turns the closet into a man cave

Ichigo: Um….why is my closet full of posters of shirtless men flexing?

Iba: Because I can’t sleep in places that aren’t manly, Ichigo!

Ichigo: IS THIS WHY YUZU ASKED ME IF I WAS ADDICTED TO MUSCLES?!


8. Nanao: Is incredibly efficient about space

Ichigo: Wow. How did you fit so many bookshelves into my closet while still having room for a bed?

Nanao: I am good with space.

Nanao: And also good with kido.

Ichigo: Cool is my closet bigger on the inside now?

Nanao: Basically yes.


9. Sasakibe: Blows up the closet

Ichigo: WHY DID YOU EVEN PUT A BOILER IN MY CLOSET?!

Sasakibe: Tea, Kurosaki! Tea!!


10. Yachiru: Expands the closet

Ichigo: YOU CAN’T JUST GO AROUND ADDING SECRET DOORS TO MY CLOSET, YACHIRU!

Yachiru: Why not?


11. Omaeda: Adds an automatic door, a heated floor, and air conditioning to the closet

Ichigo: …this closet is now nicer than my room.

Omaeda: You’re welcome.


12. Soi Fon: Never actually lets Ichigo know she is there

Ichigo: Huh. I don’t remember my socks being on that chair.

Soi Fon (whispering): Ninja!

Ichigo: WHO SAID THAT?!


13. Kenpachi: Does not fit super well

Ichigo: Dude, you look so sad and scrunched in my closet.

Kenpachi: THERE’S STILL ROOM TO FIGHT

Ichigo: There really isn’t.


14. Unohana: Makes Ichigo sleep in the closet

Unohana: Trade places with me, Kurosaki Ichigo.

Ichigo: Yeah, okay.

Hyorinmaru gives characters nicknames


As requested by anon. :)


Previously, Senbonzakura gave all of his fellow zanpakuto nicknames. Now Hyorinmaru, Hitsugaya’s laconic zanpakuto, will hand out nicknames to some of the other characters!


1. Hitsugaya: “Master”

Hyorinmaru: This is a nickname that I came up with.

Hitsugaya: Isn’t that more of a title?

Hyorinmaru: I did not say that I am creative.


2. Matsumoto: “Secret Other Master”

Hyorinmaru: I feel that I should do as she says, so…

Matsumoto: You’re so cute!

Hitsugaya: These nicknames should work for more people than just you, Hyorinmaru!


3. Hinamori: “Fireball”

Hyorinmaru: Some say that she is gentle and sweet.

Hyorinmaru: But when I see her, she is generally lobbing fireballs at my master.

Hyorinmaru: So

Hinamori: T-that happened ONE time!


4. Ichigo: “Orange Strawberry”

Hyorinmaru: This one makes you think.

Hyorinmaru: About how strawberries are not orange.

Hyorinmaru: So really his hair should be red.

Ichigo: I’d look like Renji then.

Hyorinmaru: The sideburns tell me that you already want to look like Abarai.

Ichigo: …maybe a little.


5. Gin: “Ol’ Snake Eyes”

Hyorinmaru: This one works because he looks like a snake.

Hyorinmaru: It also hints that he is not to be trusted.

Hyorinmaru: So it is both applicable and useful.

Hyorinmaru: I am definitely getting better at this nickname stuff.

Gin: …do snakes keep their eyes closed? I don’t think they do.

Hyorinmaru: So much better!


6. Orihime: “Sweet Cream”

Hyorinmaru: According to Matsumoto, Inoue provides this sweet ice cream to guests.

Hyorinmaru: Also, she herself is sweet.

Hyorinmaru: This works on multiple levels.

Hyorinmaru: I am a nicknaming genius.

Orihime: T-thank you!

HItsugaya: Wait, you and Matsumoto chat??


7. Chad: “Baby Dragon”

Hyorinmaru: For he is strong and silent, like me.

Hyorinmaru: Who am a dragon.

Hyorinmaru: But he also younger than me.

Hyorinmaru: Thus: a baby dragon.

Chad: This is the greatest name.

Hyorinmaru: I know.


8. Ishida: “The Quincy One”

Hyorinmaru: I haven’t really interacted with him much, so

Ishida: YOU COULD AT LEAST TRY


9. Aizen: “Mr. Untrustworthy”

Hyorinmaru: Aizen Sosuke does not deserve a cool nickname.

Hyorinmaru: He simply needs a name that will ensure that he is never trusted again. Not ever.

Aizen: I shall tell everyone that it is an ironic nickname, funny because I am actually so very trustworthy.

Hyorinmaru: Stop out thinking me!


10. Cang Du: “Cang Dead”

Hyorinmaru: I have not yet forgiven him for stealing me.

Cang Du: Sure. Beat up on the dead guy.


11. Rukia: “Ice Lady”

Hyorinmaru: I am sorry to show Kuchiki so much preference.

Hyorinmaru: But she is a fellow ice user, and so I have to give her the greatest nickname that has ever been.

Rukia: …the greatest because it contains the word “ice”?

Hyorinmaru: I hope the others aren’t too jealous of you.


12. Byakuya: “Cool Scarf Prince of Sexy”

Hyorinmaru: For that is what my master calls you in his heart.

Byakuya: …

Hitsugaya: HYORINMARU NO

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IMG_1074 by Brian Jeffery Beggerly