ch: fili

Wrong Brother (Fili X Reader)

Originally posted by cozy-lovelyness

Request for @thealbersclan   Hi hi hi!! Love your stuff!! Could I please do a request?? How about reader x Fili. Fili wants to get reader a present to show his affections and he is unsure if reader likes him. He has no idea what to get her so Kili tries to talk her up to get ideas. Reader Gets the wrong idea and tells Kili she’s not interested in him(Kili) and she actually likes his brother! ❤️  

Authors Note: FOR @thealbersclan SO SORRY this took so long, I’m in the middle of exams and have been stressing out. But I did promise I would get this done, so I’ve taken a break from studying to finish this. Hope you like it

Word Count: 1,254

Fili was a Prince. Heir to the throne of Erebor. A member of the First Company who reclaimed the mountain from a Dragon, for crying out loud! So why did he find this so difficult? Was it just not meant to be? Why did her heart seem so out of reach?

Fili sighed loudly and his shoulders dropped slightly as he maneuvered his body to rest more comfortably in the tree. Yes, you heard correctly, Fili was currently perched in a tree, waiting for his brother to walk through with (Y/N), the young dwarrow that had stolen his heart.

Keep reading

When I watched this scene I laughed so hard I almost cried
  • Kili: I could have anything down my trousers
  • Tariel: Or nothing
  • ME: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!! SHE SAID HIS DICK WAS NONEXISTANT!!!! *pterodactyl noise* *dies laughing*
SHE’S DYING!!!

Originally posted by natuuturnerogorman

Author’s note: I’m rewriting this fanfic because the original’s format was ugly as hell and it irked my soul so I’m redoing the whole thing 

Fandom: The Hobbit

Summary: The Fem!Reader is on her period and when Fili and Kili find out what periods are they think she’s dying…(which is what it feels like)

Italicized: Thoughts

Warnings: Cursing

Thorin had finally decided to make camp and you were miserable. You’ve been catching wave after wave of cramps all day. You were trying not to show the pain because you were surrounded by eleven dwarves, a hobbit, and an old wizard. NO. Everyone was sitting at the campfire and Bombur was passing around dinner. You weren’t hungry so you decided to excuse yourself, “Hey guys, I’m not really hungry so I’m just going to go lay down.” You stand and wince as another waves of craps hits you. “Y/N are you alright?” Kili asks.

Yeah! I’m great besides the fact that my uterus is trying to commit suicide!

You smile sweetly, masking the pain and say, “I’m fine Kili, I’m just tired.” You leave the campfire and lay down on your bedroll. Fili and Kili walk over to you.

Now what?!

“Y/N do you still have those bandages we were looking for earlier?” Fili asks. “Yeah, they’re in my bag” you say. Fili and Kili start looking through your bag and you roll over hugging your sides. “What are these?” You rolls over and what they were holding were not bandages.

MY PADS

Kili turns the pad over in his hands, “Are they some sort of bandage?” he asks. “Yes are a very special kind of bandage and they’re mine” you say snatching the pads from them. “What are they, and why are the special?” Fili asks. You take a deep breath and say, “Pads, they’re pads.” “What are the used for?” Kili asks. 

Damn it…

“I use them when I’m on my period which I’m on right now” you explain.  “What is a period?” Kili asks. 

OH MY GOD

“You don’t know a thing about women do you?” you ask. They just blink at you. “No? Okay… A period is a cycle women go through every month where blood comes out our-” “You’re bleeding?!” Fili interrupts. “Well yes” you say. They stare at you horrified. “How long have you been bleeding?!” Kili asks. “About three days” you say. They both jump up and start running around the camp yelling “SHE’S DYING! Y/N’S DYING! SHE’S BLEEDING OUT! SHE’S DYING!” Everyone’s standing up worried and confused except for Gandalf, Thorin, and Bilbo. 

“Fili! Kili! Come here!” Thorin orders. The two brothers stop yelling and obey. “Y/N is not dying” Thorin says. “But she’s blee-” “She is not dying” Thorin states firmly. Fili and Kili look a each other confused. Gandlaf step in, “Yes Y/N is bleeding but it is a natural process. Now look at the poor girl you’ve embarrassed her.” Everyone was staring at you and you were completely mortified.

Kill me now

Fili and Kili walk over to your bed roll and sit down. You sit up and face them. “I’m sorry” they say in unison. “I forgive you” you say. Fili smiles and fidgets with the hem of his tunic, embarrassed by the situation. “…Why?” Kili asks. “I don’t know! It’s just the way women were designed!” you snap. “Sorry to upset you” Kili says. “No it’s just I get these cramps and they really hurt and it makes everything all sensitive and makes me really irritated” you explain. “Oh!” They say. “I need chocolate”

@princess-of-erebor1992