ch: fallen from grace

You trembled like you’d seen a ghost
And I gave in
I lack the things you need the most, you said where have you been
You wasted all that sweetness to run and hide
I wonder why
I remind you of the days you poured your heart into
But you never tried
I’ve fallen from grace
Took a blow to my face
I’ve loved and I’ve lost

You left my soul bleeding in the dark
So you could be king
The rules you set are still untold to me and I lost my faith in everything
The nights you could cope, your intentions were gold
But the mountains will shake
I need to know I can still make

Explosions…on the day you wake up
Needing somebody and you’ve learned
It’s okay to be afraid
But it will never be the same

—  Ellie Goulding
When you realise what you've lost

I have lost my authority
I have lost my seat at the throne
You have taken my crown and purple robes
Now take my gold and honour too
Take my strength and strip me of what I can do

Even my queen forsakes me
She sees no more prestige
No worth in being stuck with a fallen king
Fallen, fallen, fallen from grace
From a gem, a jewel, melted into waste

A surge of head clogs up my mind
No more of your presence to calm these nerves
An anger boils
An anger that is disallowed
It makes no sense because you no longer see me around

I have had enough of being second best
If you don’t want me, don’t pretend you’ll settle for something less 

                           I have seen the world come to be,
                        I have seen the first sprouts of green
                                   as first buds of flowers
                                     opened up with glee.

                            Burning sun from above the ground
                         cooling waters of seas deep and wide,
                        all came into motion as heaven and hell
                                           had split apart. 

She blew in on a summers night
Held promises with both hands, their grip tighter than ropes that binded her. With dreams for dreamers and a butterfly net, she chased her choices without regret.
Her expectations of a cold world was humbled by the warmth of the sun as her nights were guided by wishes and fireflies. She captured each in shattered moonshine jars.
She licked tainted lips soaked in whiskey as she prayed to the heavens for release. She begged for wings that graced her back and the ability of flight.
To soar through winds on Eagles winds, to live with the clouds of beds. Resting her soul on sunsets and placing her wants upon the moon. Living within the summer breeze, the wind in her face and prayers said from knees.
Fly with eagles as they swallow you whole, a purpose to glide and a reason to fall~


The sky will keep me from gracing the ground


I. Tear me apart, I’m over ripping into my own flesh. Feed me to the darkest parts of your soul. My shadow doesn’t even chase me anymore.
II. Life is to cold to keep me warm. The blanket of your love has been devoured by moths attracted to what used to be my inner light.
III. This body is broken, my heart left caged. Breaking each rib trying to escape myself. The pain is nothing compared to the loss of you. I am hollow, a ghost that haunts the life I used to live.
IV. I drift in and out of sleep, your face imprinted on my eyelids, your voice echoes against these white walls. I’m tied to a bed, unable to feel freedom from your light.
V. Tell the sun to stop shining
Tell the moon to stop trying, I am not worthy of this light. Let me fall into darkness, where it is the only place … I can still feel your arms. Wrapped around a writhing body, screaming not to wake up.
IV. When I open my eyes you no longer exist. Leave me in my nightmare, at least let me fall with grace. The only place I can truly exist with you, is in this hell, my final resting place~