celery doctor

3

The Doctor meeting some of my favorite historical figures (Two showing a living dinosaur to Mary Anning, Eight completely geeking over Nikola Tesla’s work, and Five trying to convince Julie d’Aubigny not to kill someone who made fun of his celery).

The Fifth Doctor is basically just an exasperated single father whose kids won’t stop bickering or running off

“I swear to Rassilon, if you three do not stop fighting I WILL TURN THIS TARDIS AROUND”

“NYSSA WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT POINTING GUNS AT PEOPLE”

“SHIT WHERE’S ADRIC I LOST HIM AGAIN GODDAMMIT”

“TEGAN NO”

mothmanisfakethedoverghostisreal  asked:

okay but Bones getting drunk and describing Spocks peen as various green veggies tho. "But Spock, it looks like a Radioactive Broccoli" / "Hey Spock, did u know ur dick looks like a stalk of celery!" "yes doctor, this is the 8th time you have informed me that my appendage looks like that particular earth vegetable" "good, cuz it does Spocko, Spocko the Celery Dick"

Alright, the bridge crew doing pictionary and Bones in his drunken state decides to try and draw Spock’s dick. He does a squiggly line. The crowd is silent. He finds a green marker and does a squiggly line. Silence. He draws some broccoli. 

“What the fuck…” Jim murmurs. 

He draws a carrot and circles the broccoli. 

“Veggie patch,” Scotty calls out. Bones shakes his head. He draws a celery. 

“Is that celery?” Jim asks. 

Spock groans. 

“Is celery a vegetable?” Jim asks. 

“Yes, but he is not drawing vegetables,” Spock says.

Bones points at him excitedly. “Out with it, Spock, if you know what he’s doing,” Jim demands.

Spock sighed. Spock glanced longingly at the exit. Spock sighed again. “A Vulcan penis,” Spock said, utterly fed up. 

“YES!” Bones yelled.