celebrity meltdown

I follow a lot of studyblr blogs on this blog and don’t ever reblog, just like silently from the sidelines

and each and every one of them is probably a gorgeous lady with her life together who drinks coffee because she likes the taste of it instead of because she’ll have a celebrity meltdown detox without it (aka me) and they’re probably all like

who the fuck are you

Okay, this needs to be addressed because Little Mix fans keep putting shit into my inbox about this thinking that I’m a 1D fan (which, for the millionth time, I’m not). I keep getting messages about how 1D is ‘falling apart’ and LM is amazing and they got fame on their own and they won the X Factor and blah blah blah. 

Over the past few days, as everyone knows, 1D lost a member. Mixers were having a fucking field day and acting like this was the end for 1d because they’re jealous that they’re more famous than LM. Even after the international fan and celebrity meltdown and the uncertainty, the 1D fandom banded together and this happened at One Direction’s first concert without Zayn:

Why do bitter, nasty mixers keep coming into my inbox with their gleeful shit about 1D as if they’re making an intelligent point? 1D’s fan base is too dedicated and their popularity will not end until every one of those boys calls it quits. One Direction will exist for as long as they want themselves to. When I say this, people think I’m biased and a 1D fan when I’m just stating the facts.

Little Mix could not even win a KCA. They can’t win a fucking kids award! It’s humiliating, the way LM have begged their fans to keep voting and they sent out a video of themselves begging for votes and thinking they were actually in the lead. They look pathetic groveling after an award that 1D has won multiple times. 

Little Mix had to cancel their tour that had 3-4k venues but 1D sold 200k tickets in less than 24 hours even after all that’s gone on over the past two weeks. LM have NEVER done anything worthwhile. There’s no momentum. Yes, they won the X Factor, but so have SO many irrelevant people over the years. People like Steve Brookstien and Sam Bailey have also won X Factor. They’re flops and they’ve disappeared and that would have already happened to LM if it weren’t for Zayn. 

The celebrity culture we’ve cultivated (try saying that ten times fast) has produced some strange behaviour patterns. There is one gossipy gold mine in particular that runs with the precision of a German train network and can be relied upon for tabloid gossip on a week to week basis. I am of course referring to - the celebrity meltdown. Specifically, the social media variety.

For your average Joe online, it’s quite easy to have your own meltdown and not get too much stick for it. Tweet those lyrics as a thinly concealed reference to your ex who’s just been seen in the pub with that horrible girl you did A-level chemistry with. Go on a poorly punctuated rant at an online goods distributor because they left your parcel behind your wheelie bin - which was CLEARLY not your designated safe space - and now your new cushion covers smell like damp. With the luxury of not having our every move scrutinised, we can go on getting pissed off and telling people we’re pissed off, without it being lauded about as a crisis or breaking point or evidence of our fragile state.

For those in the world of celebrity, you can’t use social media in the same way everybody else does without being subject to a lot more analysis. People will publicise your virtual ‘breakdown’ for sport (and page views). Publicly acknowledging your anger shows a lack of self-restraint or suggests you can’t cope.

I think taking to social media when you’re angry is easily understandable. Our social profiles are designed to give an exciting look into a life - it’s not about the run of the mill stuff like what you’re having on your toast, but to showcase your shimmering career highlights and busy social calendars. It stands to reason that the place you share your emotional highs may also be your outlet for the lows. When people are angry or sad, oftentimes what they want is just someone to listen to them. When you have a thousands-strong audience just a few taps away, a captive audience in the palm of your hand, does it not make sense that you’d go straight to socials to vent your frustration? Ask the audience! Am I right or am I right?!

I think for most people, keeping a balanced view on all things social media is trickier than you might first expect. I’m sure we can all think of celebrity examples of people who keep their online accounts at arms length. Sharing happy news. Doing the advised PR. Sending out well wishes for world events. I think that for some of these people, maintaining an all-business relationship with social media is just good practice; by keeping their accounts neat and friendly, it makes it less likely that that’s where you’ll head to vent when you’re half cut and furious. You never share personal stuff on social media, so why would that be your first reaction now? It’s a safety mechanism.

The fact is that, like so many other aspects of celebrity life, the general public can be very unforgiving of these ‘meltdowns’. An unpleasant incident, rather than passing you by, is now part of the news cycle for the next week or so and will be dredged up in future if anyone needs to demonstrate your anger/sadness/instability. Should we, the observers, be more forgiving of the occasional slip up? I think so. We’re all human.

On an alternative note though, there are some meltdowns that should be taken more seriously. Ranting and raving about poor service you’ve had or getting riled and washing your hands of social media altogether (usually returning 48 hours later when you’ve calmed down) is, I think, an easily fathomable consequence of a stressful event and an audience willing to listen. Some people though, start ranting with other reasoning; Azaelia Banks, the latest example of a public Twitter meltdown, didn’t just blow her top, she went on a vile, bilge-spilling tirade of homophobic abuse and racist slurs - among other things. This to me is not an example of someone venting frustration in an understandable format, but a biggot and a bully showing her true colours.

She might have said sorry now, but I think Banks’ apology is more of a ‘sorry I said it in public’ sort of apology. This is the kind of behaviour that shouldn’t be tolerated, celebrity or not - while I’m always for appreciating the back story behind a persons actions and try to show some understanding, there’s no upset here that warrants the kind of language she used. While some celebrities are judged too harshly and deserve a little more empathy, there’s no empathy I can see here - sometimes an Instagram sorry just isn’t enough.

Very interesting article written by Gemma clearly referencing the Azalia Banks twitter rant about Zayn without naming Zayn. Based on Gemma’s article, it seems she is siding with Zayn, which goes against the official narrative of the boys fighting with each other, since Harrys sister is siding (rightly so) with Zayn, doesn’t it. Bless. Credit @felociraptor for the article.

Of course we all remember Tom Cruise jumping up and down on Oprah’s couch. I know we just went through four examples of people misremembering important details of memories they were confident about, but this moment was huge. Surely this one we all have on lock-down: We remember Tom Cruise, dressed in all black, coming on Oprah to PROVE that Tom Cruise loves loves loves ladies, specifically the one called Cakey Homes or whatever. Of course, the thing we remember most clearly is him jumping up and down on that yellow-beige leather couch, yelling, “I love her!” while a terrified Oprah could do nothing but look on helplessly. It was a giant celebrity meltdown, and as Amy Nicholson points out in L.A. Weekly, didn’t really happen that way.

First, it’s worth noting that for the dozens of videos of Tom Cruise jumping on the couch, it’s actually fairly hard to find unedited footage of the incident. People seem much less interested in what actually happened than in back-to-back repeats of two tiny snippets of it. That comports with most of our experience at the time as well: Not many of us were home watching Oprah waiting with baited breath for the Tom Cruise interview on his love life, but the condensed, replayed version was an early viral hit.

4 Famous Things You Remember Happening (But Totally Didn’t)

Russell Brand’s done pretty bloody well for himself to say that when he first came into the public eye, he was addicted to drugs and being all wappy on big brother’s big mouth (not to say i didn’t love him then). But now, he’s overcome addiction and he’s on bloomin’ Question Time and Newsnight and talking in parliament and all sorts of things. And that whole transformation’s happened whilst being in the public eye. He’s kind of done the opposite of the usual celebrity meltdown under the pressure of being famous. It’s an unbelievable achievement really. Plus, he’s completely kept a sense of humour throughout all of it- hoorah.

In 2012, I covered the most amazing celebrity meltdown no one was talking about. Comedian Katt Williams had spent a few months going absolutely bonkers: allegedly punching his female assistant hard enough to send her to the hospital, threatening to sue Seattle for $50 million for hurting his reputation “as a father and a black man,” and trying to flee from a Target on a motorized shopping cart after slapping an employee and stealing some french fries. Those are just three on a much longer list of incidents (he was arrested 14 times in 46 months), any one of which would have been enough to label him as someone who genuinely needs some professional help

Well, it’s four years later, and like other crazy but apparently necessary quadrennial events like Leap Year and the World Cup, Williams is back to his old ways.

Katt Williams Is Having the Craziest Meltdown Ever (Again)