celebbb

I watched Louis Walsh on Alan Carr’s Chatty man last night pretending he had no idea BB is back.. Goodness you are such a bad liar Louis!

There must be some truth on the “Jedward has signed for this August’s Celeb Big Bro” headlines. I just texted a dear friend -who still works for the production team of the nation’s favourite freakshow-  and she said she had a peak of Louis Walsh (Jedward’s manager) at Endemol’s offices in Shepperd’s Bush.

Obviously the £1 million offered that “The Sun” reports, is a bit RUBBISH. In the current economic climate there is NO WAY any TV show could afford so much. I would speculate that approx. £150.000-200.000 is closer to the truth.

Long gone are the days that BB was a cash cow. I know for fact that most of last year’s BB11 housemates were giving tabloid & magazine interviews for free! (With the exception of Josie & John James)

In pre-recession BB8, even minor “characters” like me where offered loads of decent bits & pieces.  And of course if you were a Big Bro female, with prudish investment, you could end up financially sorted for life. (Alas I possess no boobies so I still have to work for a living) For example I remember my beloved twins Sam & Amanda received £100.000 from the “DAILY STAR” for just a 2 days work!! All they had to do was posing in footie kits and various pink outfits (nothing too vulgar, the twinnies were not happy to exhibit their bodies for cash) and for that first week this particular paper had exclusive rights to those photos. Sounds too much? Well trust me I was there!

Alas for all future housemates, Zelebs and non-zelebs, those days are long gone…

Back to John and Edward, I will get a lot of hustle for this but I AM a big fan. They are hilarious to watch, full of energy, hard-working and when I briefly chatted to them at the “Attitude” magazine birthday party, they came across as mad as a box of frogs but genuinely nice cookies.

Here I should mention that loads of teens were waiting outside the party venue and both John and Edward seemed to have all the time in the world to pose for photos with them. Not many people in “showbiz” do that. Recently I witnessed a certain girl from last year’s Xfactor walking past her fans outside the Box club, completely blanking them because she was only interested in getting papped like a Hollywood veteran! I wanted to tell her:

”You silly cow, we are just reality-show contestants, we have an expiration date of maybe few months. Use your temporary fame as a platform to launch something decent (something I believe I did with my dating book “Treat them Mean & Keep them Keen”) If you think you will survive by posing for the paps and selling tabloid stories, by next year not only you will be forgotten but you will also be very bitter watching the box-fresh, new X-factor bunch!”

AND THAT’S WHY JEDWARD HAVE LASTED much longer than other X-factor contestants (who probably have better voices). THEY HAVE NO ATTITUDE AND PLENTY OF TIME for their FANS!!

Those mischievous Irish twins are so PERFECT for BIG BROTHER. I mean look at them in the photo above! They are absofuckinglutelly NUTS…. And most importantly they will drive all the other housemates NUTS!

As the brain behind BB UK told me once, “The secret of a good Big Brother housemate is to be crazy enough to live there, but not too insane to commit suicide afterwards..”

Who gives a shiiiiiiit.

Pretty sure I’m the only person not watching Big Brother right now.. According to Facebook and Twitter.. Which let’s face it, are how the standards of anything are judged these days. I don’t even care enough to bring myself to read who’s going to be in it. The google search alone could bring me to tears.

Crap pants.. Had a thought..

Bet the boy will make me watch it at the weekend.

Faaaaaack!!