the worst thing that ever happened to me
so yesterday in study hall, my friend was drawing a picture and asked “should i turn this into a drawing of jar jar binks”
so i say to her, “boy oh boy, do i have a WEIRD picture of jar jar binks saved to my phone”
the picture came to me through a whatsapp group, in which any picture sent to the group is automatically saved to my camera roll
right at that moment, a teacher walks by, sees only the body of jar jar, and yells “NAKED PICTURE”
i become a useless, sputtering mess, turn bright red, and struggle to get any words out at all. i slam my head on the desk, and yell “no” a few times.
“WHY ARE YOU OBJECTIFYING MEN” (he was joking, but i shit you not, he actually said this) “YOU DON’T LIKE IT WHEN MEN DO IT TO WOMEN”
“IT’S JAR JAR BINKS” my friend manages to say through her tears of joy
“NAKED PICTURES OF JAR JAR BINKS”
“HE’S NOT NAKED HE’S WEARING JEANS IT’S JAR JAR BINKS” i am not saying at an acceptable volume, i am shouting
everyone is study hall, and i mean literally everyone is staring, but the teacher calls another specific teacher into the mix. a teacher who does drama stuff and who ran the camp i have gone to since the 4th grade and learned my love for theatre at.
“cece” he says “i have never seen your face so red”
“IT’S NOT NAKED PICTURES” is all i can seem to say “IT’S JAR JAR BINKS IT’S NOT NAKED IT’S WEARING PANTS”
i slam my head on the desk again. all my pens go flying. i hear someone whisper “oh my god.” everyone in study hall pretends they aren’t still watching me. later someone asks if it’s true i had jar jar porn in study hall. i take a deep breath and retell my story. the pain is never ending.
tl;dr i got caught in study hall with a picture of jar jar binks photoshopped onto a shirtless man and caused a huge scene