cave b

That klance bodyguard au we love

I’ve been non-stop thinking about that klance bodyguard au and I wanted to write my own version but I’m not quite sure about how I want it to go, so here is just some random stuff I was thinking of including!!

-lance is the altean prince
-Keith is a member of the blade of marmora
-altea and BoM are allied in the fight against former black paladin zarkon and his galra army
-Keith is assigned to be prince lance’s bodyguard after an attempted kidnapping
-lots of langst in the beginning
-his father basically ignores him and heavily favours his sister, and he feels like he can never live up to his expectations
-basically just a sad lonely boy hiding behind a bright smile
-he is pretty close to his sister tho, and he knows for a fact that coran adores him
-lance develops a crush on his new bodyguard right away b/c Keith is a hot af badass whose actually a closet cutie pie
-Keith immediately thinks that the prince is totally cute, but he’s kinda slow to pick up on emotions so it takes him forever to figure out his own feelings
-when he does it’s mutual pining city
-Keith refuses to start anything w/lance for the longest time because he’s the prince and is definitely off limits
-but lance is super persistent, esp when Keith admits to liking him too
-eventually Keith will cave b/c he’s weak when it comes to lance
-a secret relationship begins
-lance will probably tell allura b/c she’s his best friend, and she’ll tell him it’s a bad idea but she won’t rat him out
-siblings that ride or die
-still the pressure of being prince and being in love and not able to tell anyone is slowly getting to lance
-he knows what he wants but he isn’t sure how to get it
-finally he makes a decision and tells Keith that he wants to run away together
-at first Keith will refuse (just like when they first got together)
-but we’ve already established that Keith is weak, so eventually he agrees
-he doesn’t really have any strong ties to anyone anyways
-lance will write these super long and emotional letters to coran and allura, who both cry profusely after reading them
-the letter he writes to his father is a lot more formal, but after all this time of barely even being on his radar he’s not quite sure what to say
-they leave in the dead of night is Keith’s ship
-can’t forget that he’s still the best pilot anyone’s ever seen, which means he gets the best ride
-it’s sleek and silent, has a convenient cloaking mechanism, can open wormholes and travel faster than anything else
-that things his baby
-when they first leave they don’t really have a destination in mind
-their main goal is to just get as far away as possible
-when alfor finds out his son is gone he’s beyond pissed that lance would pull something like this during a war
-but as time goes on and there’s still no sign of him he becomes worried
-eventually he realizes his mistakes and is super guilty for pushing his son away
-as Keith and lance travel they keep a low profile and try not to attract too much attention
-they eventually come across earth, a planet tucked far away on the outskirts of the known universe
-they take a stealthy look and fall in love with the blue planet
-they also think it’s the perfect place to start over
-you aren’t supposed to interfere with any planet or race that hasn’t developed enough to discover space on their own, but since they aren’t planning on standing out here they think it’s fine
-they spend their first few months on earth in a secluded desert shack, using their advanced tech to learn as much about their new home as possible
-lance uses his altean chameleon ability to look human
-for stories sake I’m headcannoning that galra can use their magic to somewhat change their appearance
-it still surprises them both when Keith is able to easily change his appearance to look completely human (first clue to half-human Keith)
-they fake their papers (gotta make it look like they’ve always lived on earth) and apply to the garrison (it’s the closest school, and they applied on a whim)
-they both make it in
-Keith is obviously top of the class (after flying super high tech alien spaceships, the ones on earth are like child’s play)
-lance is second (he isn’t nearly as good as Keith but again, super high tech alien ships are way harder to fly than earth stuff)
-lance and hunk meet when lance sneaks away one night to raid the kitchens for a midnight snack and finds hunk already there
-they hit it off right away and become best buds practically overnight
-Keith also likes hunk right away when lance introduces him the next day
-he’s easy to get along with and doesn’t mind Keith’s quietness
-hunk thinks Keith is pretty cool, and practically writes him a sonnet when Keith helps him learn to control his stomach in the simulator
-after that they become a dream team, and shiro (upperclassmen) takes notice
-at first he just introduces himself to them and gives them little pointers, but after spending some time together they all actually become pretty close
-hunk and lance cry when shiro leaves for the Cerberus mission, and laugh when he promises to bring them back some space rocks
-all three of them are worried when news travels about the missing Cerberus astronauts
-not long after this pidge joins the garrison
-they get adopted into the group almost immediately
-she and Keith bond over their shared love of conspiracies (Keith discovered them back while he and lance were still in the desert shack and quickly became obsessed)
-her and lance shoot one liners back and forth
-they get really into it, and sometimes hunk has to physically cover their mouths to get them to stop
-her and hunk talk tech for days
-the self proclaimed science bros
-the whole group becomes sort of like a makeshift family
-eventually lance and Keith agree to tell them their secret
-hunk is shook
-pidge is so excited that it gets a little creepy
-but they’re loyal so both agree to keep their secret
-not long after the reveal shiro crash lands back on earth the the group launch a rescue mission to save him from the government
-when he wakes up he tells him what little he can remember
-lance and Keith tell him about their past and use their knowledge to try and help him piece things back together
-shiro is convinced that the galra are coming to earth, so they use the tech in Keith’s ship to scan for other alien tech
-they don’t find anything galra but there is a weird signal coming from the desert
-they investigate and find the blue lion
-Keith and lance recognize it and tell the others about voltron and what happened to it
-the details are fuzzy b/c nothing was ever confirmed, but they do know that the last black paladin (zarkon) went awol and somewhere in the chaos the other paladins died and the lions were lost
-they find out that lance is the new blue paladin
-the blue lion guides them to the other lions, and eventually they form voltron
-they run into allura and Coran along they way, who left in the castle ship to try and find lance
-they are both overjoyed to find him and tell him what’s been happening while he was away
-zarkon attacked their planet while they were gone, and their father is MIA
-after this it follows a lot of the general plot of voltron with them liberating planets and fighting galra
-klance acts like an old married couple
-coran is both amused and happy for them
-pidge is so done with the both of them being all mushy and gross
-hunk thinks their story is super romantic and won’t stop teasing them about it
-allura and shiro would probably have more to say about it if they weren’t too busy making heart eyes at each other


There’s a whole lot more to this but I’m literally just typing things as they come and forgot the rest 😂 also ignore the terrible spelling and punctuation, I’m on mobile rn..

Millennials on TV: Wow, this old TV comes with an air conditioner? What is a “walk man?” I can’t imagine what people did before Facebook and Twitter were invented!

Millennials I know: Get a nostalgia boner for anything 90s-related, weep tears of joy when you mention Gameboy and VCRs, wish they could turn back time, to the good old days…

counterpunches  asked:

I would like to hear the story of how you slept under the christmas tree

so i immigrated to the US at age 9, right, and one of the first things my family did was join the local Chinese church. as far as the whole “figuring out how to do things so we no longer have to live in the back shed of Uncle Joe’s* Magic Emporium” thing goes, it’s a pretty sound strategy! now we had people to teach my dad how to drive and give us old furniture and say “hey, Seattle is pretty rainy maybe you should rent an apartment-like space before either a) the shed roof caves in b) your daughter with the famously delicate constitution falls dramatically ill from a strain of black mold or possibly herpes”

*is not my uncle, that’s what his store was called. he sold magic gadgets and my dad knew him because???? possibly in a past life they ran a meth empire in Albuquerque, who knows

ANYWAY. thanks to the church i did not fall dramatically ill from black mold or possibly herpes, but there was an unforeseen factor in joining a Christian church, which was that they? were pretty hardcore? about Jesus?**

**in a nice “we build houses for the homeless” way, not in…the other way

given that we’d just immigrated and that China’s religious policy is worshiping Mao’s preserved corpse ehhhhh…let’s call it “freedom of atheism,” my family was decidedly not hardcore about Jesus. my parents mostly took the bemused “i guess Jesus is okay since he indirectly led to us living in a place suited for human habitation” route, but i

was

DISGUSTED.

i was the first kid in my class to get her red scarf, okay, and when we sang the national anthem and saluted the flag every morning i fucking meant what i was singing. we almost didn’t come to America; my dad had more lucrative job offers in Germany and Belgium, but i put my foot down because everyone knows Europe is full of gross imperialists Dad, GOSH, and the Americans helped us fight off the Japanese.

so seeing all these fellow Chinese believing in THE CAPITALIST GOD was basically the worst thing to ever happen to my delicate psyche. my parents’ tacit approval was even worse: DID PATRIOTISM AND COMMUNISM MEAN NOTHING TO THEM? DIDN’T THEY KNOW THAT DOING NOTHING AGAINST OPPRESSION MADE THEM OPPRESSORS THEMSELVES??

clearly something needed to be done.

so because the church was pretty hardcore about Jesus, it was understandably also hardcore about Christmas. big party, massive intricately decorated REAL TREE, sleepover for the kids with presents in the morning—you name it. everyone was going to be there.

WHAT A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO PROVE TO EVERYONE HOW WRONG THEY ARE ABOUT JESUS.

my plan:

  1. sleep UNDER the giant real Christmas tree: y’know, the one with real pointy needles reaching all the way down to the base? that sheds? with lots of pokey tinsel?
  2. catch Jesus in the act of depositing presents***: look. i’d seen like, ALL of Scooby Doo by this point. i knew Jesus was probably a real person, just not the Son of God.
  3. subdue Jesus so he’s still around when everyone else wakes up: CLEARLY VERY FEASIBLE, given that Jesus was a heavyset white dude who used superhuman agility and strength to deliver presents around the world overnight and possibly had reindeer minions and i weighed 70 pounds at most while sopping wet.
  4. (who is Santa Claus?? who cares)
  5. ????
  6. EVERYONE MAGICALLY BECOMES AN ATHEIST AGAIN, AMERICA BECOMES A COMMUNIST STATE

***even if i didn’t believe in him, why was i slavishly devoted stopping a highly altruistic man who gave? people? presents? did i hate joy????

sure enough, at around 3 in the morning i heard soft boots approaching the tree. i reached out and snatched one of the Ankles of Jesus

—whereupon Youth Pastor Liao screamed “OH MY LORD” and kicked me in the face.

and THAT, dear friends, is how i spent my first Christmas in America with a concussion.