cautionary whale

Juno Quotes for the Signs
  • Aries: "Yeah, I'm a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale."
  • Taurus: "I never realize how much I like being home unless I've been somewhere really different for a while."
  • Gemini: - "That's a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, 'Blah I am a Kracken from the sea!.'"
  • - "I heard that was you."
  • Cancer: - "I'm going to really start looking like a dork soon. Will you still think I'm cute if I'm huge?"
  • - "I always think you're cute. I think you're beautiful."
  • Leo: "Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."
  • Virgo: - "Wow your shorts are like especially gold today."
  • - "My mom uses color safe bleach."
  • - "Go Carol."
  • Libra: "Yeah I came as soon as I got that ultrasound goo off my pelvis. It was crazy actually, my step-mom verbally abused the ultrasound tech and we got escorted off the premises."
  • Scorpio: "Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream..."
  • Sagittarius: "I'm gonna stop wearing underwear. Raise my sperm count."
  • Capricorn: "I need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever."
  • Aquarius: "As boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni. And I know people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but - I guess normalcy isn't really our style."
  • Pisces: - "You're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know..."
  • - "I try really hard, actually."
Time hopling

3 years ago today, I had my drink drugged at party. I did what everyone tells you not to do, and took a drink from the kid tending the bar. What I didn’t know is that that there was no one tending the bar and he was some stranger. I drank my drink, and remember feeling very drunk very quickly, and then very, very, tired and that’s all. 

Fortunately, I have some very wonderful friends who recognized what was happening and took me and a friend home that night. I am so thankful that was how that story ended, but I am very conscious that it could have gone differently. Please remember to always be safe and don’t be afraid to help someone out, because you never know if you will be the one needing someone to step in.