cause they are so in love it hurts

I’m 21 today. I’m artsy and perfectionistic. I don’t end up making much cause it will never be good enough for me. I’m trying so hard to break past that. I’m bad at expressing my emotions and good at expressing my opinions and concerns. I like comfort and rugged simplicity- my favorite outfits are grey and black clothes with a flannel and good leather boots. I love listening to First Aid Kit, Our Last Night, and Brandi Carlisle. I’m always craving pancakes, munching on cheezits, and drinking something sweet and caffeinated. My knees hurt, I’m always tired, and I often joke that I’m getting old. It’s my third year of college, and I’m nowhere near the end. A slow pace suits me better; I don’t like burning out. I switched my major from film to business admin/management this year. I left my job at the pizza shop and started full time at a boot store. I love it. I’m happier and less tired. I’m getting better at starting conversations with strangers. Maybe one day I’ll be able to ask them if I can take a picture of them. I really want to make film shorts about people and their stories. I loved someone this year. We parted ways. I don’t know what happened. Some things don’t make sense. I don’t know how to cry at the right times. I can’t cry at a funeral or when I’m heartbroken but I’ve been known to suddenly cry while explaining a procedure to my boss or when I’m driving to Kroger. I’m finding out that friends are hard to keep the older I get. I need to figure out how to keep them. My mind still takes a few trips without me occasionally. I’m still fighting anxiety on a daily basis. I’m still trying to figure out why certain fears control me. I’m trusting God to take care of me. I don’t know His plan, but something tells me He’s going to use these past ten years of sadness for His glory. So this is me. I’m a mess but I think I’m happy. I’m going somewhere. I’m going to do things. I’m going to love on people and make good art. I think I’m gonna be okay.

This is my time capsule. It’s okay if you didn’t read it. It’s also okay if you did. I’m the open book type, for better or worse.

TL;DR I’m a mess, life is a process, and I’m trying. 👍

Made with Instagram

anonymous asked:

Hi ate! I just wanna ask.. how will you know if the guy is the right one for you? God's will for you? How will you know if he is the right guy you are praying for? Thank you!

Let me just share with you a few guidelines. If you’re hurting too much more than he makes you feel loved, then he’s not the one. If he is drawing you closer to himself first and not to God, that’s a big no-no. If he causes pain more than joy, don’t consider this guy.

Remember your identity in Christ beloved, that you are precious and you are worthy to be loved. He wants what is best for you so He wants you to be with the right man He has in store for you, a man who is transformed into the likeness of Christ who will eventually walk with Christ with you and will keep Him in the center of your relationship. 

Ask God, pray fervently, I believe that He will eventually tell you if He’s really the one ;)

jofia-rivera  asked:

hi my queen, can i get svt's jun, got7's mark, astro's eunwoo, and monsta x's hyungwon reacting to you wanting to go on every roller coaster at a theme park? im an extreme adrenaline junkie and but many of my friends dont like roller coasters so i end up going alone:/

hello !! tbh i hate roller coasters because they always hurt my ears, but lets do this 

Jun (Seventeen): I feel like he’s the type to love the fun of roller coasters. He would be incredibly eager at first at the idea of doing every single one, but get tired of it eventually. Cause he’d get hungry and want to get some good greasy theme park food, or eat and then get an another ride and just make himself sick.

Mark (Got7): he probably has a high endurance for this kind of stuff. If he agreed to the all the coasters with you, he would keep his promise and stick it out. Plus he would love the time he got to spend with you, and all the laughs you had while waiting in line.

Eunwoo (Astro): I would say he’s the ‘scaredy cat’ out of all of them. He will say he can do it and hold his manly posture all through the line, until he’s right at the base of the first coaster and his gut is twisting with fear. Then he would say that he feels sick and ask you to go alone, and that he’ll ‘get the next one’; but you give him a break and let him play booth games for the day.

Hyungwon (Monsta X): wouldn’t be scared, but wouldn’t enjoy it either. He would easily get annoyed and maybe motion sick by the coasters, so he would sit it out after the first two or three, but be sweet and offer to wait at the bottom and hold your bag instead of going off to do something else.

Originally posted by yuhwan

-Tanisha<3

I want someone to hurt me just so I know how much fucking pain it would truly cause you because I spend so much of my time every fucking day fantasizing about you getting beat the fuck out of and raped in prison and I hope that you fucking pray to your god just like you did everyday before you killed my family. I almost hurt my loved ones just imagining you getting tortured. The only time I don’t feel completely apathetic is when I feel violent.

anonymous asked:

Me and my girlfriend just broke up cause of the distance and i honestly don't know what to do right now. Im so numb

Stay strong love, I know you can get through it. You’re allowed to be hurt right now but don’t let it be the end of you

Well let’s see, Orange’s final episode.. I don’t know how to explain this but im pretty satisfied. And sad. And happy. My head hurts from crying my eyes out but it was SO PRETTY. Hagita and Azu, I just love them. And about Kakeru, I FELT SO SAD FOR HIM, but then in the scene when Naho hugs him, It was so perfectly well done and I was amazed. The voice acting are just 10/10 and I couldn’t have wished for more. I had some bad points about the adaptation, mostly about the animation, cause the quality was really unstable, there was episodes where the faces looked strange. But in the last one I guess it was OK. NAHO AND SUWA BABY IS JUST SO CUTE IG0FIHKOGFHJGHN HOLD ME PLEASE I LOVE SUWA SO MUCH, tough I still like Kakeru the most, Suwa is such a sweetheart. AND IM SO SO SO HAPPY for Kakeru, because they saved him. IM SO HAPPY. He cried a lot and I saw a lot of people cryticizing him because he was “cold” to Naho. But, hey, let’s talk: He was suffering with depression and the only thing he didn’t want to make was Naho suffer too. She was the person he cared the most. And I felt so happy for Naho too. Saying that she would still be with him no matter what. I’M JUST BAWLING MY EYES OUT. Such a beautiful anime with a lot of meaning. 

And please, just let me say: Don’t you ever think you should be dead, cause I’m sure someone else cares. I care. 

And that’s it.


ps: sorry about the bad english, I guess there are some minor mistakes.

aside from the privacy breach with the leaked photos of jongdae

i am so happy he even managed to date someone as an idol, to even keep it on the down low for a while it seems, to find someone that made him happy (even if it was for a little while), i love kim jongdae and ill support whoever he chooses to love. and from what ive seen, most of us jongdae stans have been pretty good about it. like sure it might hurt a little but what matters is that jongdae is happy and im so glad that you guys have all been so mature about it

most fans would be flipping tables right now and leaving the fandom but i havent seen that at all, this is why i love jongdae stans

anonymous asked:

I told my crush that I liked him and he rejected me cause he was straight. I don't know how to feel. I am crushed. He stopped being my friend and everything.

oh hon i’m so sorry

you took a risk and even though it didn’t pay off, i’m really proud of you for putting yourself out there and going for it!

my advice is to let yourself be hurt and feel whatever you’re feeling, but don’t immerse yourself in the hurt. do something you love, hang out with friends, rant to a friend, cry on a friend’s shoulder if you have to. this is a really hard situation to be in, but you can get through this. <3

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.
—  Bob Marley
Fanfictions are Mean

Okay so Im reading this Carmilla Fanfic called ‘On Your Ground’ and *pardon my french* it Fucking hurts! Like it’s Angsty and Fluffy at the same fucking time!! Uncreativename, if you happen to read this, please know I kinda love and hate you right now. Like seriously, I adore and want to strangle you cause you are a horrible (in a sense like youre a evil writer) and an amazing writer because of that fanfic.
Don’t get me wrong, it was well made and the plot it thought out… albeit the reason why Karnstein fell couldve been improved Xp (Maybe that’s just me wanting more violence) It’s a reallg good fanfic and I recommend it to y'all.

I mean
“You broke my heart”
“You’re breaking mine right now”
Is that your shoutout to Carmilla Season 2 Episode 15 - No Heroics? Is that your version of
“You can’t expect all that to evaporate because I love you”
“If you really love then you’d help”
Because if it was… you my dear friend are a wonderfully evil hooman being!

Youre grand btw :P I just wanted to rant the squishy feels that I felt when I read that part.

Honestly one of the most important scenes in the entire Harry Potter series is when nine-year-old Severus Snape uses magic to cause a tree branch to fall on Petunia. Even at nine he had no qualms about hurting people Lily loved. This really serves to underscore the idea that while Snape loved Lily, he was not truly invested in her happiness or well-being because he did not care about the people she loved. At age nine he didn’t care about hurting her sister and at age twenty he didn’t care about the imminent deaths of her husband and infant son. So I will always stand by my opinion that while Snape no doubt loved Lily, it was not a healthy love and he really never deserved to have it reciprocated.

Napstablook is the perfect unproblematic fave
  • they do literally nothing wrong
  • you can fight them, but they can’t be killed
  • they can’t be killed by ANYTHING, because they’re a ghost
  • so you don’t have to worry about your fave being killed off
  • you can’t bother or even interact with them on Genocide, so you can’t hurt them
  • you can fight them and keep a pacifist run cause they give you 0 or -1 EXP
  • they cried you a HAT
  • they lowered their HP just to be POLITE
  • when the fucking APOCALYPSE happens they are the only survivor other than you
  • LITERALLY
  • THEY JUST IGNORED THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE
  • THE ANGEL OF DEATH TAPPED ON THE WINDOW
  • AND THEY CLOSED THE BLINDS
  • AND WENT BACK TO MIXING MUSIC
  • they let you into their house and offer you a bunch of things even if you fought them
  • MTT would 100% approve of people loving Blooky
  • and MTT is right all the time

cons: (what there are CONS to this cinnamon roll???)

  • they’re sad a lot so that means your fave will be sad a lot

PROS TO THE CONS:

  • that only makes your fave even BETTER when they ARE happy!!
  • they seem pretty happy as a spooky DJ in the Pacifist ending

ENDING ARGUMENT:

look at this face.

how can you not love this tiny spoop

CONCLUSION:

10/10 pls love the spook child

The signs as Nirvana lyrics

Aries:  She’ll come back as fire, to burn all the liars, And leave a blanket of ash on the ground, I miss the comfort in being sad // Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle

Taurus: Don’t, tell me what I wanna hear, Afraid of never knowning fear, Experience anything you need, I’ll keep fighting jealousy, Until it’s fucking gone // Lounge Act

Gemini:  I’m so happy ‘cause today, I have found my friends, They’re in my head // Lithium

Cancer:  I wish I was like you, Easily amused, Find my nest of salt, Everything’s my fault, I take all the blame, Aqua seafoam shame // All Apologies

Leo: Would you believe me when I tell you, You are the queen of my heart, Please don’t deceive me when I hurt you, Just ain’t the way it seems // Love Buzz

Virgo:  Teenage angst has paid off well, Now I’m bored and old, Self-appointed judges judge, More than they have sold // Serve the Servants

Libra:  Who said don’t look back? Don’t believe ‘em, Go for that crazy sounding restaurant, Cause they’re gonna try and get behind you, Don’t you let them do it, You know what I’m talking about? You hear me talking? // Turnaround

Scorpio:  Where do bad folks go when they die? They don’t go to heaven where the angels fly, They go down to the lake of fire and fry, Won’t see ‘em again till the fourth of July // Lake Of Fire

Sagittarius: I searched for form and land, for years and years I roamed, I gazed a gazley stare at all the millions here, We must have died alone, a long long time ago // The Man Who Sold The World

Capricorn: I am my own parasite, I don’t need a host to live, We feed off of each other, We can share our endorphins // Milk It

Aquarius: Load up on guns bring your friends, It’s fun to lose and to pretend, She’s over-bored and self-assured, Oh no, I know a dirty word // Smells Like Teen Spirit

Pisces:  My heart is broke, But I have some glue, Help me inhale, And mend it with you, We’ll float around, And hang out on clouds, Then we’ll come down, And have a hangover // Dumb

These porcelain lies
Crafted with precision
Fired with intention
Beautiful and frail
All doomed to fail
In time the mask will shatter
And as the pieces scatter
You’ll be left all alone
With all the lies you’ve grown
—————————————-

It’s still hard for me to directly talk about what has been hurting me these past months. I have talked about how the issues with Axent Wear and my co-founder has been very painful for me in the past year, but I also mentioned that what I am going through right now is worse than that. I noticed there has been some confusion, and people are assuming the pain I’m going through now is caused by my co-founder, it’s not. She has hurt me a lot, but she did not cause the current pain I feel.

I can’t bring myself to describe the details, so I’ll give an analogy instead. Imagine a priest who always preaches about being loving and kind, about helping people and the world. Everyone looks up to this priest, trusting him. Then you find out he has been repeatedly molesting children, and using the good priest act to get away with it. Especially for the victims, they are left broken and confused, blaming themselves, thinking maybe they deserved it, because it can’t possibly be the kind priest who can do no wrong.

This is the kind of lies I’ve uncovered about someone close to me, and it’s making me doubt everything. It’s so hard to trust again, but I know I will in time. There will probably be a few more art pieces related to this event in my life, but please don’t worry about me anymore. I am already okay. The process of healing for me is to turn that pain into art, and through that process I will have conquered it.

I’m missing him and
his world of life. Just for a second, I wish
I hadn’t met him. I wish I couldn’t feel this
pain he caused me.

But he’s the reason I am who I am today; so
I’m glad I met him. Even though I’m hurting
so badly, I’m glad.

BAKUGOU

BAKUGOU MY BOY MY SWEETHEART MY CHILD YOU’RE GROWING UP SO MUCH

YOU STARTED OUT LIKE THIS, AND NOW

YOU’RE BEING CONSIDERATE OF PEOPLE’S FEELINGS

YOU’RE THANKING PEOPLE FOR THE THINGS THEY’VE DONE FOR YOU

YOU’RE TRYING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS

YOU’RE CHEERING UP YOUR CLASSMATES B/C THEY GOT SCOLDED FOR WHAT THEY DID FOR YOU 

YOU’RE ACTIVELY WORRYING ABOUT WHAT DAMAGE YOUR ACTIONS COULD CAUSE TO UNSUSPECTING PEOPLE

AND NOW

NOW YOU’RE WORRYING ABOUT ALL MIGHT, YOU WANT HIM TO BE OKAY, BECAUSE HE’S DONE SO MUCH FOR YOU, HE’S SAVED YOU TWICE, HE’S THE REASON YOU BECAME A HERO, AND NOW YOU’RE TELLING HIM TO TO BE CAREFUL BECAUSE YOU WANT HIM TO BE SAFE, YOU DON’T WANT HIM TO GET HURT, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN ACTIONS

OH BAKUGOU YOU’RE GROWING UP SO MUCH MY SWEET CHILD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

4

I love Peter’s relationship with May and how developed it is within just a few minutes of dialogue. With Ben already gone, they’ve already had to learn to operate as a unit. May wants to know what’s going on with Peter, she’s even a little visibly hurt that she thinks he was hiding a grant opportunity from her. And here, Peter is vocalizing a fear of worrying her or causing her any grief because it affects him too. They’re so close and all each other really has now. I have a lot of emotions about that. 

We had said good-bye so many times before, but somehow our paths always managed to cross and we ended up in each other’s arms. But now when we said this goodbye I have this feeling that I will never see you again. And that really hurts because I know that we are meant to lead our own separate lives. And I honestly don’t wanna cross your path in the future cause I don’t want all these feelings to come back and have to try to get over all over again. But yeah, I’ll be fine without you, I’ll make it somehow. and soon I’ll get over you.
He used to tell me “what if one day you wake up in a room full of all the people who wanted to love you but you were too scared to get hurt, so you pushed them away.” My heart’s been empty for so long, i wonder if the ghosts miss you too. I just wanted someone to be there when i stopped hurting. I keep it all inside cause it’s the saddest place to hide. He told me that the walls I built up will never be broken down. No one ever tried. No one ever showed me that there was a reason to love. I just need someone to make me feel again; or at least like i matter. I’ve spent my whole life running, why won’t anyone ask me to stay? Why didn’t you want me to stay? You were the ocean, and i was the girl who was in love with the sea, but was too scared to swim. The empty space where my heart used to be is aching.  No matter how far my mind wanders i am never able to stop it from clinging back to the dark shadows i try so hard to keep at bay; but when the waves crash back to the shore, my thoughts drown me, in ways you never could.
—  I thought you’d wait for me