cause that show was so bad

nightmare starters

“Wake up! Wake up! It’s just a dream!”
“What were you dreaming about…? You were shouting…”
“I woke up because you were screaming so loudly.”
“Shh– No, no, don’t panic, love. You’re safe now.”
“It was so real! I swear! He/she was here!”
“I don’t ever want to sleep again. What if– what if I dream about that again?”
“If you tell me, it’ll go away. That’s what my mum/dad always told me and it’s never failed me.”
“Do you want to go back to sleep, or shall I make you a cup of tea?”
“I don’t want to go back to sleep…”
“I’m so scared… I can’t stop seeing what I just saw. It was so vivid!”
“There’s really nobody here, okay? Do you need me to show you around to prove that to you?”
“How do I know I’m not still dreaming? You’re acting really strangely.”
“Let’s get you to the shower, you’re covered in sweat.”
“There’s really nobody else here.”
“You’ve got a really bad fever. That must have caused those weird dreams.”
“I don’t even know what a peaceful night’s sleep is like anymore.”
“I can’t do this anymore. These nightmares have to stop…”
“Shh, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream, okay? None of it was real.”
“I can’t go back to sleep after that. I need coffee– no, I need a drink, a stiff one.”
“How long have you been having these nightmares?”
“I’ve had nightmares all my life, but they’ve been really bad recently.”
“You get so worked up before you go to sleep, maybe you should try to relax a bit more. Maybe then you’ll get some rest?”
“I’d kill for a peaceful night’s sleep.”
“A dream catcher? Honestly? I’m not a child.”
“Nothing’s ever helped this. I just need to learn to live with the fact that sleeping will always be a nightmare, literally.”
“I’m so tired… but there’s no way I’m going back to sleep after that.”

you know what quote kills me?

what if i’ve gone bad?”

harry potter, who was left for years to deal with abuse and neglect, who’s constantly questioning how he’s supposed to feel, how he’s supposed to react to these insanely horrible situations, who has the capability to not let his hand fell the man who sold out his parents

who has had to watch friends and guardians and loved ones die for a cause he never asked to be in 

what if i’ve gone bad?”

there’s too much fear and worry in that question. and that after so much resilience and strength, harry questions this about himself - it goes to show how little support for mental health and trauma there is in the wizarding world, of how large an oversight it was for the adults to have left him to deal with the aftermath of all this by himself. at the very core he’s still a kid. capable, yes, extremely so. but emotionally taken care of?

he’s just a kid. just harry. 

@parfaitperi’s httyd voltron au- headcanons

sorry if these aren’t v good,,,, i’m bad at writing headcanons or writing in general,,,

Keith
- Has a little dragon stuff toy,, it was given to him by his mom 
-sometimes when hes sad he’ll just hug the toy,,
- Even though he’s busy all the time (warrior stuff) he likes to read and draw. a lot. he might not be good at it, but it expresses his feelings and his room is just covered in unfinished / finished paintings.
- sometimes he steals lance’s jacket ‘cause it smells like him 
- when lance, pidge or hunk aren’t around he talks to red (about lance, about his day, about his family) 
- red will rest her head on keith’s lap and keith will pet her as he talks
- keith files red’s nail every so often because he’s scared that she’ll break them when landing
- he and lance sometimes do each others nails, then the dragons’
- he used to be really bad at nail painting till lance showed him how

Lance
- lance is the one who paints keith’s nails
- lance loves to read and is a dragon geek. since he wasn’t allowed to be a warrior when he was younger, he spent all his time reading, learning as much as he could about dragons and their anatomy and just everything in hopes to impress at least someone
- when keith is down he’ll read to him,, stories about dragons and warrior legends, ‘cause he knows that keith loves to hear his voice
- he likes to weave his own flower crowns and make red and blue wear them together 
- lance then pesters keith to draw them
- lance also made a flower crown for keith made of red roses on his birthday and keith actually teared up 
- he drew all over his dragon saddle with ink and let it dry

Hunk
- on special occasions he’ll cook a really really good meal for the paladins to enjoy 
- he likes to fly to quiet places and nap with yellow
- sleepovers!! he plans them thoroughly and makes sure that everyone is comfortable
- there’s one of those baby mobile things that are made of shiny shells that hangs from his ceiling and he loves it sm
- every sunday he cooks with his mom and they enjoy it a lot
- whenever yellow coughs or sneezes hunk is super worried and makes yellow rest for a day or two

Pidge
- when she was a kid she and matt went out to sea when they weren’t meant to and found a blue-spotted gray egg
- she watched that egg, kept it warm, took care of it for many months and it hatched and named the dragon rover
- pidge likes to hang around in the place where the armorsmith works ‘cause she likes to see how everything is made 
- she hung around there until the armorsmith let her become his apprentice 
- she modifies everything
- she was the one who molded shiro’s arm and added little functions to it
- rover and green are always fighting for attention
- rover helps pidge with getting stuff
- pidge’s saddle for green is the most high-tech
- green and her like to go out and pick healing herbs 

Shiro
- he has an… interesting bond with black 
- he’s constantly stressed as he’s chief and yells at black all the time 
- black is mature and strong (emotionally and physically) so he doesn’t really care
- once shiro fell off black during a flight and black saved him
- their relationship was better after that
- black is v curious about shiro’s arm, and shiro’s curious about black’s tail (which is broken like toothless’s) 
- they match
- the paladins like to draw on black’s tail, and she pretends to hate it
- lance once showed shiro some tricks with blue and shiro called it stupid
- shiro ended up mastering every single trick with black and for a week they strutted around and whenever they passed the paladins their mouths would be wide open and shiro found it hilarious

Allura & Coran
- she’s super strong and can kick anyone’s ass
- when she found out about the village’s dragon arena she challenged every dragon trainer and beat them all
- she works with pidge to create medicines for both dragons and people
- coran works with pidge in the armorsmith place (whats the word i forgot ,, )
- coran is super scared for pidge ‘cause she likes to pour liquid iron into a mold from a high point
- allura is concerned for pidge as she likes to fly recklessly
- allura and coran will both kill the person who lays a finger on any of the paladins
- they’re secretly competing to see how many times they can save the paladins from danger
allura’s stats:
keith [56] 
lance [55]
pidge [23]
hunk [19]
shiro [47]

coran’s stats:
keith [67]
lance [88] 
pidge [17]
hunk [20] 
shiro [8]

Matt
- he and shiro are seeing who can be the most buff
- you can barely see him on a day to day basis as he’s always exercising 
- whenever shiro sees matt on the streets he’ll lunge at him and tackle him in hope to finally defeat him in wrestling (he gets the element of surprise)
- it doesn’t work
- matt is normally seen with dumbells in his hands and it pisses shiro off 
- his room is basically a gym his bed is one of the gym things
- shiro is trying to get matt to tell him his secrets
- “its a drug that pidge made isn’t it”
- “shiro i don’t take drugs”
- “theres no way you can be more buff than i am” 

[ @parfaitperi i hope you like it,, sorry if it like,, sucks,, or doesn’t really apply to your au storyline as it’s kinda based off my storyline,,,, which i am still writing (i was the one who asked you for fanfic permission)]

The Friendly Wager (Part 1)

Summary: AU. Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,528

Warnings: language, fluff, sarcasm, bad date, implied sexual situations (no smut)

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely Kait’s ( @bionic-buckyb) 5k AU Challenge. Congrats on the followers, friend! My prompt was “Can you please come over so I don’t feel so alone?” I think this will have at least seven parts, so Kait, please feel free to disregard it till it’s completed :)

Part 1 - 2

Originally posted by talkinboutmyimagination

Keep reading

Growth and Failure

The longer the story, the more failures there should be and the greater the change that should occur.

This is the case for anything you write, but the more episodic the series is, the more this holds true. TV series, ongoing web series, and web comics are the most obvious examples of this.

Basically what this means is that your characters can’t succeed at everything they try to do. One thing about shows like Supernatural (the early seasons) is that you as the viewer know that, for the most part, by the end of every episode, the Monster of the Week will have been defeated and everyone you care about will still be alive and healthy. There are overarching plots, but they are tangential to most episodes and don’t affect much.

In Stargate SG-1, on the other hand, they spend eight season facing one major enemy (the Goa’uld), and they spend many of the episodes fighting the Goa’uld in some form or another. And sometimes they fail and the Goa’uld win, and sometimes they win and that later helps the Goa’uld win, and sometimes they don’t fight the Goa’uld at all, and those missions may be either successful or not to a lesser degree. Beyond that, there are lower level failures: they try to make a spaceship and it almost kills some of them, they try to make a new spaceship, it doesn’t work as hoped at a pivotal moment and they almost lose the entire planet, they build a giant spaceship and it gets stolen (briefly), they build more giant spaceships and one gets shot down over a planet and then later they need to get that spaceship home and it (temporarily) gets stuck in a giant sentient gas cloud. All of this means that sometimes they don’t have a spaceship that can do what they need even though they’ve been trying to build one for most of the show, but at the end of the show, they end up with spaceships whose capabilities and weaknesses play a pivotal role in the show.*

My point in recounting all of that (other than to get you all to watch Stargate) is to show that, especially when you have a long series where you want to show a great deal of growth (and I’ll explain why you need that in a second), you can’t just have them win every time they try to grow or every time they try to defeat an enemy. You have to have them fail, too, or there will be no stakes and it will be hard to suspend disbelief.

So…why do you need growth?

Basically, if you end up in the same place that you started, what was the point of your story?

Well, you cry, they defeated the major enemy. Isn’t that enough?

And to that I ask (because I like holding imaginary teaching sessions): If they could defeat the major enemy (or if they could get the girl/boy/non-binary person, or if they could get into the school they wanted, or if they could do whatever else they want to do) with the capabilities they had in the beginning, why didn’t they? There is no need for a story if your characters have everything they need to succeed when the story starts.

And as for why you need failure? Here are three reasons.

One, failure is realistic. Things rarely work well on the first try, especially more than once, which means that the more things a character (or group, organization, etc.) is trying, the more they should fail. If you think about someone trying to learn a language, they basically never (without an eidetic memory) remember all words the first time they see/hear them, or use grammar perfectly on the first try, or pronounce every word correctly. They will get some, but they will rarely get all. The same should go for someone who is trying to learn how to fight, for example. Even if you get everything right the first time you are shown it (which may or may not happen), you’re not going to get it right every time. You might fail more at some things than at others, or fail at the same thing over and over. Sometimes it’s because you don’t understand how to do it, sometimes it’s because your brain and your body aren’t communicating well, and sometimes it’s because your muscles just aren’t strong enough or your body isn’t flexible enough for it to work. Those are all failures that can and do happen in real life.

Two, failure raises the stakes. If you know the main characters are going to succeed at everything they try, or that their failures aren’t going to have any consequences beyond that episode (or chapter, etc.), there are no stakes. There is no concern for whether the character will do well or whether they will be ready in time, because they always are. There is no risk, because there is no failure.

Three, failure is interesting. As we see in Stargate, entire episodes can be built around failures. Failures make for interesting storylines, and sometimes successes that turn into failures can turn into even more interesting storylines. You defeat the Big Bad only to have a Bigger Bad rise up because of it? That’s a great storyline, and shows what was ultimately a failure by the characters. You stop someone for personal reasons at the expense of stopping someone for strategic reasons? Great storyline, because it not only prolongs and changes the conflict, it also adds an opportunity for personal growth and/or conflict into the mix.

With that, failures can also cause really interesting interpersonal interactions. Let’s so all of the characters are counting on Bob to pull off one part of the plan, and despite trying his best, Bob fails. Now everyone blames Bob (or maybe some subset of them blame Bob, depending on their personalities) and it causes tension in the group. Maybe this tension ultimately leads to Bob leaving because he can’t take the blame anymore. Now you have a splintered group all from Bob’s one failure.

What types of growth and failure can you have?

(I’m glad you asked, me.)

Here are some examples (primarily for militaristic/adventure type stories, but there’s a mix)**:

  • Building an army (or a group of people)
    • Not be able to convince people to join
    • Have traitors in the midst
    • Have large numbers die/be killed
    • Have people defect
    • Have ideological/strategic differences with allies
  • Building a new form a transportation
    • Not have it ready in time
    • Have it not go far enough
    • Have it not go fast enough
    • Have it fail mid-journey
    • Have it explode mid-journey
  • Building a weapon
    • Not have it ready in time
    • Have it not work
    • Have it explode in testing
    • Have it fail during use
  • Learning to fight
    • Not be ready in time
    • Hurt self while training
    • Not have the strength
    • Not have the endurance
  • Learning magic
    • Lose control
    • Not have the magical capacity
    • Not understand the theory
    • Not perform key rituals
    • Perform key rituals wrong
    • Not have key materials
  • Learning a language
    • Forget vocabulary
    • Forget grammar
    • Not understand grammar
    • Be unable to pronounce words
    • Be unable to understand spoken words
    • Misunderstand nuances
  • Translating/decoding something
    • Misunderstand nuances
    • Mistranslate words
    • Know the wrong dialect
    • Have the wrong key
    • Looking for something
    • Follow misleading clues
    • Have someone else find it first
  • Taking territory
    • Not have sufficient forces
    • Not have sufficient ability to break walls
    • Lose too many forces
    • Be unable to hold territory
  • Getting a romantic partner
    • Cheat
    • Make bad decisions while intoxicated
    • Forget significant dates/events
    • Say inappropriate or mean things
    • Misunderstand what is being said
    • Miscommunicate
  • Getting a degree
    • Not having enough money
    • Not studying enough
    • Not getting good enough grades
    • Not having the time
    • Having other life issues that distract from it
  • Forming a government
    • Have ideological splits
    • Have political splits
    • Have factions form
    • Have coup attempts
    • Be unable to govern
    • Be unable to create a working organizational structure
    • Be unable to create adequate civil service (police, roads, etc.)

*Of course, Stargate has some of its own issues with this, like the fact that Daniel has been brought back to life more than once, so the viewers stop believing that Daniel is ever actually dead.

**When I use the term failure, I don’t mean that it is the fault of the character or organization (necessarily, though in some cases it might be). I just mean that it is not-success.

I still stand by Caitlin.

Even though her “last minute” inner Caitlin coming up and saving the day was a little ridiculous because all up to that point she was pretty fine with being Killer Frost, I still and will always stand by Caitlin. Your hatred for Caitlin Snow/Killer Frost is fucking stupid, if you’re a hater reading this (I know y’all go into our tags and pretend you don’t you stalking idiots).

There was only one person who actually cared about her in that team and that was Cisco Ramon. Not Julian, absofuckinglutely not Barry and the others not even close to caring. Julian saw her as something to fix, Barry didn’t even remember her because he was so focused on saving Iris (everyone else be damned) and the others just didn’t care. But Caitlin didn’t need a cure, SHE NEEDED HER FRIENDS BY HER SIDE, HELPING HER FIGHT HER INNER DEMONS. SHE NEEDED PEOPLE SHE TRUSTED TO TELL HER GENUINELY THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE OKAY AND THAT THEY WOULD ACCEPT HER THE WAY SHE WAS.

EXPECT FROM CISCO RAMON, NOBODY DID THAT. 

SO YEAH, HELL FUCKING YEAH, I STAND BY CAITLIN WHO SUFFERED SO MUCH BUT STILL STAYED STRONG, AND CHOSE NOT TO CURE HERSELF BECAUSE NOW SHE KNOWS SHE CAN FIGHT HER INNER KILLER FROST PERSONA (or whatever the hell it was) ALL BY HER OWN. 

I always stood by Caitlin because when nobody was around to save her, she was always there to save others without waiting something in return. She sacrificed so much for the Team Flash and now she can find who she is and be MUCH stronger without them. 

And to those who are bashing Caitlin because she appearently has been a very bad person and DONE SO MUCH WRONG THAT SHE SHOULDN’T BE FORGIVEN, EX-CU-SE-ME FOR ONE SECOND. GO SIT ON YOUR GODDAMN ASSES AND LOOK AT WHAT BARRY HAS CAUSED, HOW MANY SELFISH ACTIONS HE HAD DONE AND HOW FIXATED HE IS ON JUST ONE PERSON THAN ANYONE ELSE. Then come and talk about what Caitlin has done wrong you sickheads.

Things can’t LOOK like a sexuality. It’s very tempting to make easy jokes about Dan looks like a lesbian, Dan the pastel video is gay - that’s actually problematic to say that. Stereotypes. I mean obviously correlation between behaviour and stereotypes do exist but when things are kind of feeding into heteronormativism and the harmfulness of everyone’s living inside of a patriarchy and the bullying that exists within the male system with things threatening their masculinity that's just a bad thing, you know. Stereotyping sexuality and behaviour and gender isn’t a good thing. So you can say “oh, that guy looks like a lesbian” or “oh, the flowers that’s a bit gay” and it’s not necessarily the most offensive thing but on a level it is slightly bad ‘cause you are reenforcing those things, you know.
— 

@danisnotonfire during his live show on the 14th of February 2017

Quotes from Dan (31/?)

I’m so happy he spoke up about this. I also love how he did it in such a non-threatening manner. He’s hoping to educate the people, who might not be aware of how harmful their actions and words can be. I stan the right people. 

can the new fan trend for the next fall out boy era be genuine kindness? asking for a friend

A dog person - Young!Sirius x Reader

Warnings : nope, maybe the GIF that personally makes me weak

Words : 2.8k

Request : yes

Note : it’s the imagine that I wrote a few days ago and that was deleted somehow, I’m sharing it again now. I know some people had the same request but anywayyyyy (thank you to the ppl who told me to post it again btw❣️). I just imagined a Patronus for Pettigrew, don’t mind it if it bothers you. I loved this request and got a bit carried away, it was just so damn cute.


Originally posted by bentbarnes


Even at Hogwarts everybody hated monday mornings, as they symbolized the end of the weekend, the return in class and especially, implied a lot of exhaustion. In fact, everybody except the 6th years, because to them Monday morning meant Defense Against the Dark Arts. Here you were, at your usual seat next to the wall on the first row. The classroom 3C had probably the biggest windows out of all the Turris Magnus, unfortunately you were too short to observe the view -everybody was- but you still tried to take a look everytime. You were on tip-toes, taking advantage of the fact that your teacher had not yet arrived to make another attempt.


« You know Y/N, I really enjoy the view you’re offering me when you stand up like this in front of me, but I think you should just sit down as our dear Professor is here. » whispered Sirius behind you. Your cheeks turner red as you did what he said, sighing in exasperation and trying to focus on the tall man standing in front of the class. Sirius knew his little seduction game made you feel a bit flustered and that was exactly why he liked doing it so much, he didn’t want you to be uncomfortable, he was only joking and you knew it. Out of the four Marauders, you spent most of your time with him or Remus, who actually introduced you to the others after meeting you at the library.


« Today I will try, and please notice that I said try, to teach you something that I know most of you have been waiting for. » said your teacher solanemly, holding his hands together behind his back. « The majority of witches and wizards are not able to produce it for it requires patience, concentration and determination. You probably guessed it already, I am talking about the Patronus charm, one of the most powerful defensive charms that exist.»


Immediatly, everybody started to whisper enthousiasticly to their neighbors, and even Lily who usually was the definition of the model student seemed hysteric. You smiled when you saw her, her dazzling hair flying in the air while she turned around towards the boys, already beginning to discuss on the shape their patronus would take. James had already managed to produce one and it was a deer just like his animagus. He could be turbulent, sometimes even insolent, but nobody could deny that he was an incredibly talented wizard just like Remus who was sitting next to him. Strangely, he stayed away from the general euphoria which spread in the class, playing almost nervously with his hands. You frowned, ready to ask him what was going on when your teacher knocked two times on the desk with his fists. The noises stopped and everybody looked at him once again.


« To produce a Patronus, it is necessary to concentrate on your most beautiful memory, and only this one. Find the memory that warms your heart the most and say clearly, wand in hand : expecto patronum. » Suddenly, a silver eagle flew from his hand and in the classroom. It was both beautiful and captivating. « This requires training, today we shall satisfy us with approaching the theoretical side of it and in the next class, I hope that you will be ready. Just know that it is difficult to obtain a corporeal patronus, and that its purpose is not to be beautiful, but to protect you from Dementors. Whether it is a rat, cat or lion, its power will be the same : the partonus is a shield, a messenger and a protector. »


He kept speaking during the whole following hour, adding that even if the animal shape the Patronus took did not define its strenght, it could mean something important for the wizard. Leaving the class everybody had only an idea in head : discover what their patronus was. The four boys, Lily and you had mutually decided to train together by the lake this afternoon. But right now you were going to eat, Sirius and James led the group speaking loudly and walking way too fast. Behind and standing by your side, Lily seemed to explain to Peter the details he had not understood. You left them silently to join Remus who walked at the back, alone, head low and dragging his feet. He raised his head when he saw you were waiting for him and turned the gentle smile you were giving him back to you. Interlacing your arm in his, you jumped at the opportunity to be alone with him to ask him what was wrong. Remus sighed, he seemed embarrassed and you strated to worry. He looked around to be sure no one was listening and then he bent a little towards you.


« I’m afraid my corporeal Patronus gives too much away, if you know what I mean. I already tried with James and it almost worked, and I swear I saw a long hairy tail before the light went off. » He whispered, biting his lip « With you guys it doesn’t matter, but if anyone else sees it… » He didn’t finish his sentence but you knew what he meant. Remus had always suffered because of his lycantropia, his parents and him had a nomadic life before he came to Hogwarts thanks to Dumbledore. Everytime someone started to be suspicious, they left and the little Remus never got to make friends. Even now that he had friends, really good ones, he was still afraid someone would found out. Taking his hand in yours, you squeezed it gently so he knew he wasn’t alone and you were here for him.


« We can practice alone another day if you want to be sure, you don’t have to do it today if you don’t want to. »

« I think that’s a good idea, thank you Y/N. »



Around 4pm, you sat in the green grass which lined the lake, between Sirius and Peter who seemed strangely concentrated into tearing away the petals of a flower one by one. You turned around towards Sirius who was already looking at you. You felt your cheeks burn a little when he did not look away which made him laugh, revealing his white teeth and his dimples.  He was a handsome young man, really, and you never knew if you just found him attracive or if it was something more. Anyway, you came back to reality when James showed up, back from his Quidditch session. A proud smile could be seen on his face as per usual, and it grew even bigger when a bunch of Gryffindor girls passing by stared at him like he was a piece of art, or a piece of meat. It always made Sirius giggle but Lily just rolled her eyes every single time.


« Did you mess your hair up on purpose again just so you can look like some Quidditch rock star ? » suggested Remus, looking quite amused. 

« You’ll be authorized to criticize my hair when your furry little problem will be solved, Moony chéri. » teased James, winking before he spoke again while turning around « Let’s get started folks, why don’t we let the Lilliputian try first. »


Eveybody laughed, James flirting with Lily was the funniest thing ever, especially when he came up with these strange nicknames but you had to admit that for once it wasn’t so bad. She stood up, pointing her wand towards him which caused him to slightly move to the side.


« In fact I’m two months older than you Potter, show me some respect. » Remus, Peter and Sirius giggled while James seemed outraged, but before he could come back with anything Lily exclaimed, her wand pointing to the sky « Expecto patronum ! »


You held your breath just like the others while slowly but very clearly, from the tip of her wand, a bright silvery light started to burst before fading out. She tried again multiple times with James giving her advices and finally, a tall and gracious doe was running in the air, following the rythm of Lily’s laugh. Her green eyes were wide opened, she seemed proud and happier than ever. You all applauded, Peter even took a bow.


« It’s strange, isn’t it ? Your patronus is a doe and Potter’s one is a deer. If it isn’t a sign, I don’t know what it is. » teased Sirius, winking to Lily. Her cheeks turned bright red before she exlaimed « Simple coincidence, that won’t make me go out with you any sooner Potter. »


Finally you formed little groups, James and Lily stayed together, Sirius was with Peter and Remus with you. This way, the others didn’t pay attention to the fact that Moony wasn’t really trying to practice and he was pleased about it. You tried to remember all the informations your teacher gave you this morning, and took a deep breath. You hoped it would work but as Lily said again and again, it was a difficult spell and it was normal if you didn’t succeed on your first tries. For what felt like an hour you persisted, repeating the two little words again and again, sometimes managing to produce a little shiny light at the end of your wand. But no animal, nothing. Frustrated you sighed noisily, which caught the attention of Remus, Sirius and Peter. The two others seemed too busy arguing about who-knows-what, and anyway they did not really need to practice anymore. Seeing your disappointment, Sirius smiled softly before suggesting to the boys to train together and that he would help you. After all if that did not work so well that way, you could try.


« I can’t do it either, you know. Maybe it’s because you distract me. » he suggested, teasing you once more with a grin on his face.

« That’s not funny Sirius. » you whined, a pout on your lips.


He looked at them for a bit too long before coming back at your eyes. Finally he stood behind you, his chest pressed against your back. You were thankful he was behind, at least he couldn’t see your burning cheeks but it wasn’t finished yet because you could now feel his strong hand taking yours, holding your wand with you while the other one was placed on your hip. Your heart was racing and you were probably shaking too because he laughed soflty, speaking soflty.


« Maybe you’re not thinking about your happiest memory. Close you eyes, the first one to come to your mind is probably the good one, focus on it. »


Even if his body pressed against yours and his breath crashing on the thin skin of your neck did not help you at all, his soft and low voice was relaxing and you now thought of nothing else. You no longer heard the sound of the wind in the trees, nor the murmur of the water of the lake, you did not see your friends staring at you a little farther : it was his voice and his body near you that occupied all your mind. You closed your eyes as he had suggested, and with trembling lips you pronounced the two words « Expecto patronum. » You opened your eyes slowly, just in time to see a magnificent light spraying out, more powerful than what you had managed to do until then. It grew larger, Sirius’s hand still held yours and guided the movements of your wand.
After a few seconds, you saw it. In front of you stood a brilliant, tall and perfectly formed dog. But it was not a common dog, you had seen this one several times already and you recognized it immediately. You understood that Sirius did too when you felt his fingers release your hand smoothly and his body move back slowly. Your concentration broke and the big dog disappeared. You did not dare to turn around, both shocked and mute, because you finally knew what your patronus was. And it was him. It was Padfoot.



You stood there, sitting on your bed without knowing what to do or even what to think. After the events of the afternoon you quickly ran away, stammering that you did not feel well and that you were going to rest. But everyone had seen the same thing as you, and everyone knew that your patronus was none other than Sirius Black himself, or at least his animagus form. You tried to convince yourself that it was just a simple dog, but you knew what you saw. Maybe it didn’t mean anything at all, maybe it did. It probably did. Sirius and you had been friends for years and even though he liked to tease you all day long, it had never been more than a platonic relationship. As you kept thinking about this, images started to come to your mind. The day you met, how funny you found him, yet annoying. The first time you sat together in class, and how you spent the hour drawing stupid things on each other’s books. That time in 4th year when he punched a guy who insulted you, and definitely got a detention for it. When one of his pranks hurt you and he brought you chocolate and flowers to make it up. The time he hugged you so tight after Gryffindor won the house cup that you thought he was going to choke you. Maybe he wasn’t just a friend after all, and it took you a couple of years and a patronus to realize it. A knock on your door made you lift your head up, the person did not let you any time to answer and entered the room.


« Can I come in ? » asked the black haired boy.
« A bit too late to ask, isn’t it ? »


Sirius did not answer, he just closed the door leaving you both alone in the dorm. He sat next to you, your knees barely touching, but not a word was said. You looked at the floor for a few seconds before you saw him turning his head to you from the corner of your eye. Slowly, you looked at him too, your heart skipping a beat when you met his dark grey eyes.


« Why did you leave earlier ? You missed something, we learnt that Peter’s patronus is a mole. »
« You know why I left. » you said, smiling slightly at the end.
« You don’t have to be embarassed about it. » he shrugged « But I have to admit that I thought it would be something else. »
« Like what ? »
« A penguin. »


You scoffed, clearly not especting that answer. Sirius looked at you curiously, he didn’t seem to understand why you were chuckling but he still smiled when he heard your laugh.


« What ? They’re cute and funny, everyone likes penguins. » he smirked.
« Nope, you’re probably the only person to fancy penguins that much. »
« Well I don’t try to hide it. You shouldn’t either. »


His last words were whispered in your ear before he placed a soft kiss on your shoulder. You knew what he meant, and you couldn’t act as if the butterflies flying in your stomach weren’t here. He bent down to give you another kiss, on the cheek this time, but the weight of his body made you both fall back on the bed. You laughed as he found himself lying on top of you and for the first time since you met him, you saw a light shade of red on his cheeks. You stayed like this before he kissed your forehead, and then your nose. You smiled and he looked at your lips, and back at your eyes again. Your hands made their way to the back of his neck as he brushed your lips with his own, without ever pressing them together. Your heartbeating probably echoed throughout the entire room, or maybe it was his own. He smirked again when he saw the look full of frustration and desire you gave him, biting his lip and kissing the corner of your lips and then your cheek, before whispering in your ear again.

« I always knew you were a dog person. »

And after that he finally pressed his lips against yours, tenderly, as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

Okay, so, I don’t normally post my own things, I usually just reblog other people’s wonderful and, frankly, amazing stuff, but I need to get this out.

I’ve been reading lots on how Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s ratings are bad, and to be honest, the second and third seasons were not the best. But the show needs to be renewed because here’s the thing: girls need heroes too. Not just Captain America or Iron Man - they need female heroes. They need to know that heroes don’t always have powers. Melinda May never needed powers to become a legend, she honed those skills herself. She became a hero because she chose to be one, and Grant Ward was not a hero, despite the many chances given to him, because he chose to not be one. Daisy, or Skye, was a hero before she even got her powers because despite her past with the Rising Tide and an abusive childhood, she chose to do some good. 

Girls need to know that being weak and breaking down is alright because it is a human thing and not a silly, girlish weakness. They need to know that silence can mean strength and dresses don’t stop you from fighting. They need to know that being a scientist, a person who loves learning, does not equate to having square glasses and dull clothes and no friends. They need to know that there are different kinds of strength and bravery and love. They need to know that you can have accents on your tongue and colour on your skin but it doesn’t matter because you are more than what men label you. They need to know that they don’t need a man to complete or define them, that they are extraordinary by themselves. They need to know that despite everything, despite the impossible, they can succeed because the only person you need to believe in you is yourself. They need strong women to look up to so they can learn to become them.

I’m fifteen years old. Asian. A second-year university student in a developing country with an anxiety disorder. It means everything to me to have an Asian female character to be able to look up to and to have so many other well-rounded female characters. When I feel like I’m too small, too young to be in university, and people call me a nerd, I think of Jemma Simmons and her two phDs in fields Coulson can’t pronounce and I smile at them. When I walk through dark alleys filled with shady men on my way home and my mom tells me to be careful, I think of Melinda May and her fearlessness and I become a little braver. When people tell me that I can’t possibly be smart enough to pass a class, that everything I say is only a bravado, I remember Peggy Carter and tell them I know my own value. I pass by them three weeks later with a certificate full of A’s. When I feel like I can’t possibly go on I think about Bobbi Morse unwilling to apologize for what she believed was right and if she can be that strong, I can at least be half as strong. I think about being different and Daisy Johnson will remind be that being different can mean making a difference, and as long as I’m showing people that a tiny, little Asian woman can kick their asses in class, then I’m making a difference because I’m showing them that we can, that I belong here as much as they do. And that is what Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. shows too. Or at least, the part I love most about it. The strength, the diversity, the equality, of women. And that is why, when people ask me what S.H.I.E.L.D. is about, I say, “protection.” Because S.H.I.E.L.D. protects me from the darkness of life, it gives me a place to fall back on, a place to remind me that I am strong enough to go through each day, and when I do go through each day, it is those ladies who poke my shoulders and nudge my chin up, giving me the confidence to look at life in the eye and tell it that I am more than whatever it throws at me.

Since I can’t do much to affect the ratings from where I live, I suppose I’ll just let my fondness and my attachments to these character out and hope that abc realizes how fundamentally important it is to have a show which gives girls the strong women and the representation they need to look up to, and that despite past mistakes, season 4 (especially 4x15) has been incredible.

———-

Small addition cause when last night I posted this little rant I did not expect so many notes but I’d like to add that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. also has female antagonists, it doesn’t portray women in black and white, good or bad. The characters are so completely human and not exaggerated. It portrays women as they are. Jemma has panic attacks and Daisy made some wrong choices but they are both more than capable of saving the day using only their minds. It shows that bad things happen sometimes and you can be forced to make hard choices and all you can do is choose what do to next and that doesn’t make you evil or bad. It shows that women are capable of being villains, that we’re not just angels. And that is important because it reminds girls that being good is a choice, that we have the potential to be otherwise, that we can make men fear us as much as we can make them respect us. It shows that sometimes we make bad choices and people will think the worst of us for doing what was right but despite our human flaws we need to remember to put on our own oxygen masks first before trying to fix things. There’s a post somewhere about how Melinda May left Providence in 1x19 and she left for herself because the environment was too toxic and that speaks a lot to me because it reminds me to take care of myself and my anxiety first and leaving a place that no longer is healthy is alright. I’ve found my social anxiety taking hold of me less since I’ve found strong women, and more specifically, Asian ones too, to look up to. Because they show me that it’s all human to feel like that, and they have so many flaws but they can also save the world, and most important, save themselves. Real or not, the characters have had a profound impact on me. For that I have to thank the writers and the amazing actors. To the person who said to tweet this to the creators, by all means, go ahead since I don’t have twitter. But I realised I didn’t thank the writers and the actors last night when they’ve given me those wonderful characters, both the women and the men.

carlos loves to listen to really loud music, especially when he’s working, and one day cecil freaks out cause he thinks carlos is somehow controlling the weather

“CARLOS NO THAT’S ILLEGAL YOU’VE KILLED US ALL!” “cecil no im playing this from spotify, look, see?” “whats…. spot tif fie? is this some sort of science thing you made?“ "you… ok you know what never mind i’ll show you later”

cecil ends up liking being able to just play music, but he’s really bad at using the app, so he has one song per playlist. just one song, and he keeps switching between 200 playlists

carlos eventually helps him out and he gets everything organized into a normal ish playlist

one day carlos decides to play cecil’s playlist – it’s just different frequencies of fish screaming underwater

cecil calls it “new age heavy metal”

The “Just the thought of Team Cap walking all over Tony makes me want to trash my room, I just want unashamed, biased, pro-Tony quality content, is that too much to ask??” inspired ficlet I’ve been holding back for a while:

Bitterness ahead, guys. Not Team Cap friendly. Nor is it particularly deep or rational. I just wanted to get a couple of thoughts out of my head. Basically Tony is done being the team’s sugar daddy, only it comes to light in a very roundabout way. 


“When are my arrows gonna be fixed anyways?” Clint grumbles, rubs a hand over his sore shoulder. The one that wouldn’t have gotten injured, had his shot hit the target it was supposed to. Which it should have, his aim had been fine. The problem were the arrows. Someone must have screwed up somewhere in the production because they weren’t perfectly balanced.

They’re sitting in the conference room at the (mostly) restored compound. Tony is tapping away on his StarkPad, not even bothering to look up. He must have felt the questioning glances and noticed the silence, but he still doesn’t react.

Steve resists the urge to roll his eyes. He doesn’t want to encourage the tension between them, things are bad enough as it is. If only Tony would put in some effort as well, instead of going out of his way to antagonise them, maybe they could make some actual progress.

“Yo, Stark!” Clint snaps, voice reaching that biting sharpness he reserves specially for the billionaire. “I’m talking to you!”

Tony shows no outward reaction, which is strange to see. Back when they first came back, he used to move at all times, sharp and erratic, never staying still. Steve shakes his head at their unnecessary power play.

Tony answers before he has the chance to reprimand them though. “How would I know?” he asks, a brief frown flittering across his face as he scribbles something down onto the tablet.

The outraged look on Clint’s face tells everyone present that this meeting won’t get back on track any time soon. It’s understandable, really. Clint has been forced to fight three battles with faulty equipment and frankly, the lack of concern Tony is showing for his team mates’ safety is nothing short of callous. Steve knows things haven’t been good between them but this is the first time he wonders if things could really be so bad, that Tony would hold necessary equipment back on purpose.

It’s a terrible thought, but try as he might, Steve isn’t able to shake it off.

At least the rising tension finally causes Tony to look up and meet Clint’s glare. He’s wearing sunglasses even though they’re inside, like he always does. Steve doesn’t like it. Makes it harder to read Tony, to tell what he’s really thinking. Absently, he admits that this is probably why Tony wears them so religiously.

“What do you mean ‘how would you know’?!” Clint snarls, enraged. “My arrows have been acting up for weeks and you still don’t know how to fix it?!”

Tony stares at Clint, the expression on his face unreadable. Then, after a long, long moment of heavy silence, the answer.

“I’m not fixing your equipment.”

For a moment, it’s deadly quiet, as Steve struggles to process the meaning of what Tony has just said.

“Tony,” Steve hastily inserts himself as soon as he finds his voice again, before Clint can throw himself across the room and deck him, “I know there are still some issues we all have to work through, but that’s not an excuse to-”

“Hold it right there, Rogers,” Tony interrupts. It’s never Cap, always Rogers these days. The pain the distinction causes still catches Steve by surprise more often than not. “I’m not sure where you get this from but I’m not your mechanic. I don’t work for you. So if Barton here has an issue with his weapons, he needs to take it up with the people in charge. Considering how often you remind me that it’s not me, you’d think you’d have figured that part out already.”

“But it’s not working!”

Tony sighs. The deep, heavy sort of sigh you usually expect from an exhausted parent after their insistent child asks, “Are we there yet?” for the 34th time. “Then take it up with the quartermaster. Or Agent Hudson. Or one of the techies. Seriously, Barton, you signed the Revision. Who’s responsible for what is right in there, section 12 to 17. Besides-” he pauses.

“What are you waiting for? Go on!” Clint demands between gritted teeth, hands curled into tight fists. Thankfully, he’s not throwing anything. Yet. “Don’t get shy with me now!”

Tony straightens in his seat. Steve inwardly sighs. That man has never been able to let a challenge go unanswered.

Besides,” Tony continues, voice still surprisingly even, “chances are they’re working just fine.”

“You think I can’t tell when my bow isn’t fucking working the way it should?” Clint bristles.

The words actually cause Tony to lower his sunglasses for a moment, just to make sure there is no doubt about how stupid he believes Clint to be. “I’m saying you’re operating with a standard bow, Barton. The fabric and the construction limit the performance quality. Something I’m sure an experienced archer like yourself has picked up on.”

And yes, things are definitely getting ugly. That level of glacial cold in Tony’s voice is rarely achieved, even now.

“The why the fuck did you build a subpar bow?”

Tony sighs again. “You’re missing the point. Seriously, I can not believe we’re even having this conversation. I did not build that bow, Barton.”

And that’s–that’s a surprise.

Tony’s gaze trails over them all, taking in their confused, shocked expressions. “Really?” he asks, exasperation dripping from every syllable. “Did any of you even read the Revision? The Avengers’ are an official unit. Their weapons and uniforms can’t be provided by a private party, especially not one who is part of the team. Have you ever heard the term conflict of interest?”

“What about Stark Industries?” Natasha asks. From the furrow in her brows though, Steve suspects she already knows the answer–and doesn’t like it one bit.

“I’m not sure if you noticed,” and now there’s no mistaking the mocking in Tony’s tone, “but SI doesn’t sell weapons anymore. It was kind of a big thing, couple of years back.”

“But- But yours are better!” Clint splutters. It sounds plaintive and weak, even in Steve’s ears, but at the same time he knows what Clint’s struggling to say. It’s not about getting your toys taken away. It’s about their safety and efficiency in the field. On bad days, it’s about the survival of their entire planet.

“I can’t believe you would risk the teams’ lives and safety like this because of a petty argument,” Steve says, unable to keep quiet any longer, nor bothering to hide the honest disappointment.

Tony, unimpressed as always, simply snorts. “You’re an official unit, but before that you’ve been working for SHIELD for years. Did you ever have the very best equipment mankind was capable of providing at the time? No,” he answers his own question in a breeze, “you didn’t. Why? Because you’re agents, soldiers. And sure, the government wants to protect us, wants to keep us alive and make sure our missions succeed. But they have limited funding, which means everyone has to deal with the best cost-efficient option available. If you’ve got the right connections to get something more, then lucky you, but that makes you an exception, not a rule.”

“You don’t need to explain real life to me!” Clint snaps aggravated.

“Then why do you feel entitled to something better?” That question, sharp and cutting, makes the archer still, his mouth open but with no retort forthcoming. Tony is blinking at him now, head tilted sideways in child-like curiosity.

“Of course, if I, as a private citizen, decided to build something that doesn’t violate any laws and give it to a friend as a gift, that would be something else, wouldn’t it?” Tony continues after a moment, voice softer now, but no less cutting. His eyes are fixated on Clint, sunglasses pushed back, eyes dark and unmoved. “The average update would take me what, a week or two? That’s a lot of time to invest into a single project, especially when the ultimate use is so limited. How many people can possibly profit from improved protective vest versus how many people improve from an exploding arrow is a really fascinating comparison to make.”

“So you see, Barton, even if I could improve your bow, there’s no logical reason why I should waste my time like this.”

“Tony!” Steve interrupts, scandalised. “Clint’s life depend on his aim! Our lives depend on it! How can you justify not providing him with the most basic necessities.”

Tony doesn’t even try and look abashed, instead he throws his head back and laughs. “This is how you want to play it, Rogers? Because I’m rich and a genius, I owe it to you to devote my time, attention and money to bettering your lives? What about the seven billion other people on this world? Don’t they deserve the same consideration, hm? What makes you so special that I should put your needs before anything else?”

Steve opens his mouth, but Tony doesn’t give him a chance to speak.

“I tell you what this is: this is you realising I’m no longer spoiling you rotten because you are in fact not my kids and I can cut you off whenever the fuck I want. And you don’t like it. Because guess what, I may be privileged, but so are you! You’re heroes, most of the time, as far as the world is concerned. You’ve been living off my money and resources on top of that. You’ve always gotten special treatment and you like that. You’re as far detached from the ‘ordinary man on the street’ as I am, you just don’t have the self-awareness to fucking notice!”

Tony sends them a sardonic smile that does in no way take the sting out of his words. “Don’t worry,” he says, “you’ll still be special. It’s just no longer my name footing that bill. Because we’re not friends. And as a business man, I’m not at all sorry to tell you that you simply aren’t worth investing into.”

And with that he stands, all blinding press smile, sweeps around dramatically, and strides purposefully out of the room. The automatic door closes noiselessly behind him, but he might have as well slammed it shut for all the difference it would’ve made.

It’s likely not a coincidence, that on their next mission Spiderman, Vision and Miss Marvel all showcase new, incredibly features and weapons that can’t have been created by anyone else. And it’s impossible to know for sure, what with the mask on, but Steve is one hundred per cent certain that Spiderman is smirking at them.

He is not wrong.


Let me know what you think? And please excuse any mistakes, I’ll re-read this tomorrow. Also this is the last post for today. I’m tiredtiredtired now and think I’ve spread enough bitterness for the day. And spammed your dashes with enough endless posts probably…oops.

nearina  asked:

So you think that now Bum is in love with Sangwoo for what he really is (he's literally in love with a killer) and not like at first when he loved the illusion of the kind, perfect Sangwoo?

Well, it’s complicated. I think Bum fell in love with Sangwoo for two reasons: first, because Sangwoo seemed like a kind, loving person, and second, because Bum wishes he were like Sangwoo: attractive and charismatic and with tons of friends. There’s a bit of hero worship going on. For someone like Bum, who has probably gone his whole life without real love or affection, Sangwoo seems like both an ideal role model and an ideal companion. 

Of course, then he makes his way down to the murder basement, and he finds out that the Sangwoo he knew was a sham, and the real Sangwoo is a monster.

But the thing is, the kind Sangwoo is not completely fake. Yes, he is a monster, but he’s also capable of affection. After he starts growing attached to Bum, he shows Bum the affection Bum has always been desperate for.

Bum says it’s like living with twins who have different personalities. I think Bum loves the good twin (the one who acts lovingly towards him) and hates/fears the bad twin (the abuser and murderer.) But he’s so desperate for love that he’s willing to tolerate the bad twin if it means he can have the good twin.  

In recent chapters, his hero worship is just as strong as it’s ever been. 

Sangwoo is fulfilling an emotional need for Bum. A need so profound that leaving it unfulfilled would cause unbearable pain. From Bum’s point of view, the occasional physical or psychological trauma is a small price to pay to have that need fulfilled. 

cranky-blue-crew  asked:

is it weird seeing all these fan accounts of you? how does it make you feel???

It is weird, yeah haha. Not in a bad way or anything, it’s awesome seeing so many people show their appreciation for the channel, it’s just weird cause I never thought SO many people would have me as their icon haha

How to study while struggling with mental-health

Em Português

  So, I’m new to this studyblr thing, but I haven’t seen something like this before. Studying can be hard while you go on and off with with your illness, and I believe the most important is bending your way of thinking. It’s hard word. But recovery is such a gratifying hard work. 


   You just can’t study sometimes, and that doesn’t mean you’re not being productive. Treat yourself, your body needs rest, food, exercise, relaxing. Everytime you do one of this, you can congratulate yourself. Congratulate yourself, even if it seems so small. In my bad days, texting my best friend is hard. And I let myself feel good when I do it. When I think that only if I’m studying I’m being productive, I tend to loose motivation, and get into the vicious circle of feeling bad brcause I don’t study and not studying cause I feel bad. So I find other ways to feel productive, and increase them until I can put small studies - and them increase them! This might take a few days, or weeks. But remember that you’re trying and that already is remarkable, so do congratulate yourself and do be proud that you got out of bad to brush your teeth. 

 You can try: 

  • Taking care of yourself 
  • Watching a TV show. 
  • Baking something! I love this one 
  • Stretching and walking. It can be just around your room, but it will wake your body up. Cuddle and playing with a pet if you have one. 
  • Reading anything. It can be the dumbest fanfic ever, but it will help you concentrate, so nice one! 
  • Playing a game. 
  • Sketching drawings or random quotes. And this ain’t meant to look pretty, just to be fun. 
  • Coloring.
  • Making yourself some tea. 
  • Anything really!

  “But others are so productive”. You know what is AWSOME? Living when your mind is fighting against you. You’re already formidable for anything you can accomplish because of this. Remember that you’re not to blame on how your brain works, and allow yourself bad days. And every time you do study, don’t ever think “finally, I lost so many times already” but be SUPER proud of you. I am. You’re doing great if you’re searching so much to find helpful tips already.


   Planing is great, but breaking schedules is ok. This happens to everyone, I promise. You wouldn’t blame yourself if you got stuck in the rain, or had to help a friend, right? So why do if you can’t get out if bed? You can’t always control it. So what I do is planing, and instead of feeling bad about what I haven’t done, I feel good about what I have done. Sometimes, looking at lost dates is hard. So I close my agenda and just make a to-do list, crossing the items when I get to them, and never following orders. And remember to put small tasks in your list as well! 


  Have a routine before studying, and have a routine before studying when you’re not feeling good. This helps your brain associate that it needs to concentrate. 

 I have three routines, for example:
 In my normal days, I just stretch, drink cold water and put some music I like and get straight to studying hard.
 On my sad days, I take a cold shower, eat a snack and play some concentration games. Only then I get to studying, and I start with baby steps - I tend to watching videos or listening to poadcasts first. It takes a while, but anything you can do you need to feel proud about.
  On my hipomaniac days, I go for walks or even runs. I need to tire my body a bit or I can’t focus. Then I take two glasses of water and a shower. Only THEN I study, and usually start with reading, to remind myself that while I have a lot of energy and feel good, it won’t do anything without discipline. 

  Find out what works for you. On bad days it will take a while, but if it gets you going, it is more than worth it. 


  Exercise. And again, it is okay when you can’t - and not a privilege of us neuroatypicals. But exercises are good ways to control your body chemistry. I have three exercise routines - again, for normal days in which I have energy, for days when I have less energy and for days in which I have WAY too much energy. You also don’t need to do this everyday, this is me, but have a schedule. And never fear to break schedules. Also, eat healthy.

  Remember: mental illness is all about chemistry, which is frustrating, but also means you can hack it. And not just with medication. 


  Talk about your feelings, and not only when they’re bad. If you can afford a therapist, great. If you don’t, regularly talk to hotlines or trustworthy persons. Or just write about it. It really works to reduce your number of crises.


  Power posing. Talking about hacking brain chemistry! I learnt this from a lecture called Our Body Language Shapes Who We Are, from psychologist Amy Cuddy - you can find it at TED. And it changed my life. Posing like Wonder Woman or all star spread for two minutes gets your cortisol (stress hormone) levels down, and your testosterone levels up! Sounds silly, but it does work. Also, it does look kinda silly so you can laugh and have fun while at it.


  Have safety plans for every bad emotion you feel. I make lists I can look at when an emotion is overwhelming and pick something to do. Things like anxiety crises, sadness, anger, apathy and self destructive thoughts. This will help you reduce the times of this bad emotions and refrain it from growing into worse things, such as episodes. 


  Motivation. Motivation is important to anyone. I love lists - especially because I can hide them if they’re making me feel bad - so I have one for this as well. Things such as: 

  •  I love learning 
  •  Studying is a way of having control over my brain 
  • I want to be a teacher that makes a difference

  I also love listening to Sia’s The Greatest, it’s kinda of my fighting song. If you have one, blast it and perform it ridiculously around your room until your dog is staring at you like you bring dishonor to the family - or is it just my life. 

  Find your motivation and keep it to your chest. ]


  Try out different study methods in different states. Look at posts at studying tips - always remembering that some might not work for you, and that’s not (just) because of your illness, and that’s ok, that’s why they are so many - and use them to build your study routines. Routines are great because they bring safety and help you when you’re lost. 


 Sometimes you can’t control your sleep. It is important to try, however, don’t blame yourself if your brain just make it impossible some days. This is to the folks that are on the bipolar spectrum and like me can go 5 days straight with a maximum of 4 hours of daily sleep. If you know you can’t control it, don’t force it. It will make you feel anxious and you get MORE enrgy and impulsiveness. Tiring your body and brain helps. 

  There are days when it is three a.m. and I just can’t sleep but am not feeling bad. On those days, I work for a maximum of two hours. It is a nice moment for putting your reading in day. But never do this for many consecutive days, you’ll feel like a zombie later. However, it can help with getting something done. And it is especially calming for unrest. 


  Remember that bad days happen and you’re allowed to feel, to cry and rest. And that you’re never a burden when you need help or talk about your feelings. You are only human. Have routines, break routines. Do crazy wishes like decorating a Christmas tree in the middle of June. Pamper yourself. And just never give up. 

Hope some of this helped.

anonymous asked:

Never said supporting people isn't a good thing. But spreading hate is not. You're just as bad as the Nazi party. As slave owners. And the kkk. Even if you're going to hate someone it's better to kill 'em with kindness than to show the hate. You know why? It spreads the stereotypes you all fight so hard against. It trains people to think "yup just another angry black woman let's ignore her" or worse. It hurts your cause more than it helps your cause. Just some friendly advice.

us: black gay women deserve a space to be away from all of their oppressors and they deserve the right to hate those oppressors for what they have done to them, from mental and emotional trauma to physical and sexual violence to homophobia and transphobia all of which have destroyed many black gay womens lives.

yall: so you’re nazis.

Bts reacts to you whispering in their ear (NSWF-ish)

Seokjin would be startled. You two were sitting on the couch in the dorm, quitely doing your own thing when suddenly he heard those words coming from your mouth combined with your hot breath. His eyes widened, the blood rushed to his cheeks and unfortunately also to his lower region. Turning his head to the side, he saw you biting your lip seductively and a smirk plastered on your lips. Grabbing your wrist, he dragged you to the bedroom, ready to put some action to those words

‘’touch me Seokjin, slowly.’’

‘’Oh sweetheart, you’re lucky were alone tonight cause I will have you begging.’’


Originally posted by strawberrie-kookie


Yoongi was at first dumbfounded. Had he heard you correctly? Was he mind playing tricks on him? But the look in your eyes, the rose in your cheeks confirmed that he had indeed heard you loud and clear. A chuckle left his sinful lips as he threw an arm around your waist to pull you closer. With his other hand he gently pushed your face to the side his lips dangerously close to your ear as he whispered his reply.

‘’Want to come play with me?’’

‘’ You will regret what you asked me to baby because when I am done with you, Oooh honey you will regret what you have wished for’’


Originally posted by totallyyehet

Hoseok:

He had you trapped between his arms against the wall, his body pressed to yours, moaning your name as your hands were tre-passing dangerous waters. Your words mixed with your touches had him trembling, his manhood twitching in his boxers, his heart hammering in his chest as breathing became difficult. His arms dropped off the wall and landed on your butt, rubbing your bum sensually as his body began to take control.  You thought it was okay to say things like that? Well I’m sorry honey you are in deep trouble because Hoseok here is going to show you how it’s done.

‘’I’ want you to tear my clothes of my body’’

‘’Your wish is my command sweetheart but I can’t guarantee it will only be your clothes.’’

Originally posted by fucking-space-boy

Namjoon:

Oh boy, you began to think you made a slight mistake after you uttered those words ‘cause before you could blink, Namjoon had you pinned under him, your legs around his waist as he grinded against your clothed core. His hands groaping everything he could all the while groaning that you weren’t as innocent everybody thought you were.

‘’Big boy, I’ve been a bad girl.’’

‘’Hmmm is that so? Well people who do bad need to be punished don’t they?’’

Originally posted by wanna-be-korean-unicorn

Jimin

His mouth was on yours, kissing you fast and hard. His hands were working on the button of your trousers and yanked them down, tapping your now bare legs for you to step out of it. You did as you were told, now as needy as him. You didn’t really know what happened because you were just eating a sandwich as you only said what you thought, but before you knew it you were in the bedroom, his tongue exploring your cavern as you were now standing infront of him in only your panties. When he finally broke from the kiss, his eyes roamed down your body while his hands were holding onto your waist. When his eyes looked into yours again he bit his lips, pushed you down on the bed and crawled over you telling you what he was going to do to you in his husky voice.

‘’It’s really hard to swallow, you know.’’

‘’Babygirl, I will show you it’s really not.’You’re gonna love it’

Originally posted by jkookisdaddy

Taehyung: The only thing he could do was hoping this dinner would be over soon so he could ravish you at home. Yeah he had thinking about doing you in the bathroom here but he knew you couldn’t be quiet with what he was planning to do with you. Heck you never were the silent type in those kind of situations. He had to sit it out, trying to control his boner while you were happily chatting with your friend across the table as if you never had said anything to him. You suddenly felt his hand on your thigh very close to your privates as he leaned towards you and told you, you were a naughty girl .

‘’You know I woke up wet this morning, thinking of you.’’

‘’Did you now? I will make you regret saying that because by tonight you’re going to be dripping.’’

Originally posted by taestiny

Jungkook:

Yup, you regretted it immediately when those words slipped from your lips. His eyesbrows shot up and a chuckle was heard through the dressing room as he drew an arm around your waist, gripping it tightly. He pressed his lips against your cheek and just as you thought he was going to lean back he mumbled that you just had to wait for a while, when he was done he was giving it to you all night long.

‘’I wish we weren’t out in public, I wish we were alone. Know what I mean?’’

‘’Don’t worry angel. Just wait for a bit and I will have you screaming all night long.’’

Originally posted by bangtanofarmys


A/N: Oh I feel dirty damn. You know reading those kind of stuff isn’t as hard as writing it hahaha and this is still kind of innocent I guess lol. Anyways I hope you enjoy it and please don’t hesitate to drop by my askbox if you just want to talk or want to request something yeah? :)

The Major Arcana as People You Meet In College

0. The Fool: The freshman. He’s fascinated by the fact he just entered college, plans on joining every club imaginable, and thinks he can handle 8AM classes. Still wears his lanyard around his neck.

I. The Magician:The one who actually has all their shit together, lives off of campus and works a real-person job. Probably works out too. You want to not like them for it but they’re too nice.

II. The High Priestess: She’s kinda quiet and reserved, but if you talk to her she’s really smart and knows a lot of fun random facts. The sweet one that unexpectedly knows a lot of fucked up shit and freaks your friends out at a party for a few minutes that one time.

III. The Empress: She’s a junior when you get to college, but she likes you a lot and shows you around. She’s a big help and tells you about local deals on food. Buys you alcohol for the party but then makes sure you stay safe when you’re drunk. Very attractive, probably gay.

IV. The Emperor: This guy is probably older than you, and tends to give really good advice when you have drama. Sometimes his male privilege goes really unchecked but he’s willing to learn and know better. Designated driver.

V. The Hierophant: Absolutely can’t cope with the fact that underage drinking is a real thing. Straight A’s, probably on some Student Government board or faculty-built club that encourages good student conduct. Kinda snobby so you don’t talk to them much, but their help in Physics class was the only reason you passed.

VI. The Lovers: You’ve never known these people to not be dating. They’re basically already married and you’re basically their first child. When The Fool comes around you get upgraded to Aunt or Uncle or something. They give good relationship advice.

VII. The Chariot: He’s friends with all the right people, gets away with outrageous antics and never gets in trouble. Always has tickets to that concert you want. Cocky with a heart of gold. Smooth af. Probably tries to ask you on a date.

VIII. Strength: Deals with way more shit than you do. Holds your arm so you don’t rip somebody’s neck out when that person tries to pick a fight. Says they’ll “deal with” the creeper who’s been stalking you. You have no idea what she said to them, but they never approach you again.

IX. The Hermit: The friend that everyone likes, wise beyond their years. Every time you invite them to hang out, they’re busy with homework or something else comes up, even though they’re legitimately not trying to avoid you. Meditates daily. Forgets about that huge campus event you go to every year.

X. The Wheel of Fortune: You meet in a class and hit it off really well. You guys are close for a while, and you learn some life lessons and gain some new interests or viewpoints. The new semester rolls around and they basically fall off the face of the map.

XI. Justice: The friend who almost got alcohol poisoning once and completely changed their life afterwards. They’re much more stable now and seem a lot happier. They invite you to a bonfire at some point.

XII. The Hanged Man: He’s kind of a weird guy, but in a way that you still like hanging out with him. Has drastically different views about the world than the rest of your friends, which leads to a lot of really in-depth, interesting discussions. You emerge from that friendship a lot smarter.

XIII. Death: The one that finally managed to convince you to drop that club, break up with that person, or quit that destructive habit. Their solution for everything seems to be hard cut offs, you’re both impressed and intimidated by it.

XIV. Temperance:The student tutor you finally go to in an hour of need. They manage to completely salvage your paper from the brink of despair in under an hour. You feel like you have been touched by an angel.

XV. The Devil:Invites you to his birthday party, which is by far the trashiest situation you ever experience. Meanwhile, he gets tanked, calls somebody a string of offensive slurs, then does a line of cocaine. You don’t speak anymore.

XVI. The Tower: They seem cool and all, you talk now and then but are still getting to know them. Then, you hear them say something INCREDIBLY problematic or hear down the grape vine about their old sexual assault charges. You can’t look at them the same way anymore and now just thinking about how you used to hang out leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

XVII. The Star: That faculty member you LOVE. She helps you build your schedule, helps you fix your grade in the class, and reminds you that some people aren’t so bad after all.

XVIII. The Moon: Things are pretty good. You have a solid relationship going with somebody, then this asshole shows up and now you have to rethink everything about your current relationship and if they’re really worth dumping someone over. You agonize over it, not knowing what you want, until it just kinda awkwardly blows over and you figure out they aren’t into your gender anyway.

XIX. The Sun: This person is the one always sharing mildly-political information on Facebook. Before you know it, you’re freshly passionate about the causes you care for the most, and still educated on the ones you don’t put as much energy into. You cared about these things before, but they’re the person that armed you with the knowledge you needed to actually have constructive dialogue about it.

XX. Judgement: Best friends with Justice, and is remodeling her entire life. You don’t hang out with her often so the next time you see her she has a new hobby, new major, new hairstyle, and has probably stopped talking to certain members of her family. It was tough but she seems better for it.

XXI. The World: Your person. They stick with you from year one to when you graduate. You complement each other really well. You still make healthy time for other people but they’re still your best friend. Eventually when you get older they’ll have a kid and name it after you probably.