time i spoke about the biphobia in my life.
i finally came to the realization i was bi when i was in 7th grade, and to say i was terrified is a HUGE understatement. i was so terrified i felt the need to tell everyone, because i needed validation.
all was okay until the rumors started spreading. i realized i shouldn’t have told anyone in a catholic school, and i regretted even coming out to myself. i convinced myself i was straight and denied every question i got. only a few friends were actually there for me, lots betrayed me.
fast forward. next year more rumors spread of me dating a girl in my class. i deny once again.
out of school, like in my theatre company, i would gladly scream it from the mountaintops. i didn’t care, because they really didn’t care who or what i was. i felt safe.
until, an old friend of mine who was doing a show with me, kept calling me out for it. saying i was a “special snowflake” and that bi’s should just “pick a side.” these may seem like small things, but they really hurt my self esteem and my self image. badly.
i got really sad. more than before. vowed to call myself straight and never tell anyone ever again. the teasing got to a point where i slapped the boy, and told him never to speak to me again.
that was the only way he listened.
but the story doesn’t end here. nope, because all my friends still speak to him. and he says he doesn’t know what he did wrong.
one day on a trip, my friend was face timing him. i looked at them, and she was looking at me, laughing. i said “you’re talking crap about me aren’t you.” she smiled and nodded.
turns out she was talking to him about how bi’s don’t make any sense.
you see, this is the problem. ignorant people tearing others down just cause they don’t understand something.
i don’t understand how people can eat yogurt, but i’m not gonna tear them down and tell them they’re disgusting for doing so.
ever since then, internalized biphobia and homophobia has haunted my mind. this guy really broke me in a way that is still taking time to fix. i just had a breakdown about this, and it was long ago when it first happened!
words stick. they hurt. but i know the guy and people who hurt me are cowards. i don’t care who they are, they are cowards.
to all my baby gays/bi’s/pans/ and all in between,
DONT LISTEN TO THE MISINFORMED. DONT LISTEN TO THE IGNORANT. DONT LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE WHO HATE YOU BECAUSE OF WHO YOU LOVE.
LOVE IS LOVE. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHO YOU LOVE.
YOU ARENT BEAUTIFUL IF YOU BEAT PEOPLE UP BECAUSE OF WHO THEY LOVE.
stay strong my baby LGBT+’s