what are the "symptoms" of dissociating vs derealization?
Dissociation is when a person feels like they are outside of their body. Some people say that it feels like they are watching their life as if it’s a movie because they are detached from their body. Losing chunks of time is also possible with dissociation, but that’s not a symptom that everyone experiences. For those who do experience it, they could lose just a few minutes or sometimes even up to days, weeks, or months.
Derealization is usually described as feeling like your surroundings aren’t real. There’s an article here that describes it as the opposite of deja vu, where surroundings that should feel familiar actually feel foreign. It also says that derealization can make you feel like you’re detached from the environment around you.
If you feel like you might be dealing with either of these, consider seeking professional help. Dissociation and derealization are often signs of mental illness, which can be anything from PTSD, dissociative identity disorder, or even depression, just for example. No matter what might be causing it, it’s important to reach out so you can get the help that you need. We have a page about getting help here if you’d like some information about how to go about asking for help.
In addition to seeking help, there are some grounding techniques that you can use if you’re feeling symptoms. There is a page here that describes some grounding techniques that you can give a try.
So I’d say that overall my favourite character of all time (so from all games, books, movies etc.) would be Yennefer of Vengerberg from the Witcher books and games.
She’s a cunning Sorceress, a dangerous foe, an overprotective Mother, a loyal friend and a loving partner.
There are a lot of complexities surrounding her character most of which are related to her very difficult childhood and how that experience has impacted and shaped the way she perceives the world and reacts to it.
One of the most important aspects of Yennefer is that she is afraid to wear her heart on her sleeve because a part of her doesn't believe that the world is capable of accepting her. As a result, she wears a mask of ice she can hide behind as it helps to shield her softer, more sensitive nature from the harsh world keeping her heart safe but consequently meaning that many people do not warm to her very easily and view her as completely insensitive and cruel which couldn’t be further from the truth.
Yennefer is also a character who, from a moral perspective, is all shades of black, white and grey. For example, in the Witcher III she uses necromancy, a forbidden practice, to uncover important information. Now, on one hand, you have someone who is obviously playing with forces of nature that are beyond control and causes other people discomfort for her own gain. On the other hand, you have a Mother who is willing to use any means necessary, even magic that makes her feel physically and emotionally sick and causes her, to come extent, emotional harm (because she dislikes that path he has taken) to save her daughter.
Now, I could go on but I don’t want to bore you all! So, to summarise, when it comes to characters a like I take a shine to Yennefer in particular because your impression of her as a person changes so much over time. At first, I didn’t understand her and took her cold, calculating and uncaring personality seriously, but over time you see the history behind the way she acts and it helps open your mind to her perspective of the world and given a justification to the way she acts while you get to see a glimpse at her more loving nature and her unseen vulnerability.
My Not-Sanders Sides
This tag was made by @pansexualroman!Be sure to check them out, they’re great! I hope I did this right lol
Ava (Emotion - she/her)
• Has the most control over my thoughts/actions
• Is the most affected by my bipolar disorder
• Feels every emotion to the extreme
• Kind and good-hearted but can become extremely violent when angered
• She has shoulder length straight brown hair, dark green eyes, and always wears a jacket even when it’s hot outside
• MOOD SWINGS
Amber (Passion - she/her)
• Will fight everyone
• Will destroy whoever hurts her friends
• My source of confidence and self worth
• She’s lazy but occasionally motivates me
• Long reddish-brown hair, brown eyes, big smile
• Confidence is sometimes eclipsed and ridden ineffective by Ava’s sadness
• Amber becomes depressed and powerless as a result
• Mostly wears (fake) leather
Griffin (Creativity - they/them)
• Can’t make me create anything unless Amber feels motivated enough
• The source of my random/weird thoughts
• Can never sit still
• Loves candy
• Gentle and cuddly
• Causes sudden bursts of inspiration where I have to drop everything and make something
• Blonde quiff, hazel eyes, freckles. Lip piercing, a few small tattoos here and there. Likes button up shirts and flannels
Fraser (Reasoning - he/him)
• Very quiet
• Doesn’t feel important because the other three are very impulsive and don’t listen to him
• When I’m severely depressed, his logic and reasoning becomes warped and twisted the more my perception of reality is distorted
• The logic becomes illogical to everyone else around me
• Isolates himself for days at a time
• Doesn’t have much influence outside of retaining information
• Short white hair, light blue eyes. He’s smaller than the others, and likes dark baggy clothes
ADKOS was absolutely a Larry Azoff Prophet. adifferentkindofson tumblr com/post/142913000641/look-to-all-the-people-who-have-doubts-about-the
Oh ho ho ho:
exactly. either you trust that harry and louis are capable of making informed decisions about their careers and their relationship or you think you know better than they do (even though we do not have enough information to fully gauge the complexities of what’s going on bts contract wise).
So just a year ago you had to trust that Louis and Harry were making career decisions together and that they wouldn’t leave the other in the lurch and that the Azoff’s were there for both of them based on “trusting their love for each other” basically and inside information she claimed to have.
Now suddenly in 2017 the Azoff’s are traitors who snatched Harry away from Louis and turned him against the band and they claim now that some of the Hazoff Rescue Fantasy campaigners in the fandom had possibly been plants made to make Jeff look good.
So wouldn’t Adifferentkindofson therefore also potentially be a Hazoff plant? Like who made her claim to be an inside source on them? I can guess of course it was just ‘cause like all Big Larries/Tinhats she craved feeling important and connected and wanted to present herself as an “insider” based on shoddy information from shoddy sources. But if she’s gonna accuse others of being plants who mislead others into a Hazoff Larrie utopia now then look in the mirror, Fernface.
Enjoy these little tips that might just help you through the wonderful hell we all know and love, band camp. :)
Stay hydrated. Gatorade, Powerade, water, other sports drinks.
If you plan on drinking Gatorade or Powerade, you might want to add some salt.
Start conditioning a couple weeks before band camp by not drinking sodas or other sugary drinks.
Eat a good, filling breakfast. And get a good night’s sleep.
Do not eat sugary cereals or pancakes and waffles. No syrup or butter!
Try to not consume too much dairy. It’ll give you a tummy ache out in the sun and exercising.
Eat toast, especially with peanut butter for protein to help you through the day.
Drink juice or drinks with electrolytes for breakfast.
You might want to stay away from eggs, they can make you sick.
Eat fruit and healthy cereals.
Wear sunglasses, but make sure they don’t keep sliding down your nose. That can get really annoying when marching.
Accept constructive criticism. Especially from those who are older than you, they have more experience.
If you think someone is just picking on you instead, you might want to tell your section leader or an adult.
Listen to your section leader. Build a relationship with them. They are the person taking care of you and your section after all.
Know your left from your right. Always.
Again, stay hydrated and wear sunscreen!
Pack good foods in your cooler for snacks during breaks. Fruits, peanut butter crackers, and even salty foods are great.
Bring hand sanitizer.
Dress for warm weather. Shorts, t-shirt, tank tops, etc.
Hats are also great to keep the sun off your face (but can make your head sweaty).
Bring a portable fan for breaks. It’s good to cool off for a second.
Chilly pads are gifts from God. USE THEM.
Try sitting under bleachers or tents for shade during breaks.
Don’t wear too many bracelets, it can get sweaty on your wrists, though a watch is good for keeping time.
If you have a question or need help, ask your section leader or an adult! It’s better to ask than to not.
Make friends with upperclassmen and underclassmen, as well as people your age. No matter how scary the seniors seem or how annoying the freshman are, your band is a family. Age shouldn’t be a barrier.
Friends can help you through the season, whether it’s with marching and practicing or just being there for you.
Keep your instrument clean and safe. You may even want to use a different one for just practices and another for performances if you feel like it.
Plastic trombones are great.
No matter how stupid you look, sombreros and straw hats can provide a lot of shade.
Leave your phone at wherever you have your stuff set up. There’s no reason to have a phone on the field/lot. Besides, everyone you’re going to text is on the field/lot with you! :)
Keep a parent or guardian on speed dial for emergency reasons.
Remember those health forms you had to turn in? Yeah, it’s a good idea to fill those out as much as possible in case there is an emergency.
If you feel sick or feel like you’re going to pass out, TELL SOMEONE. Friend, section leader, adult, band mom, or even just the person next to you. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
If you plan on staying on campus for lunch, pack a good one. Sandwiches, peanut butter crackers, grapes, fruits, even a salty snack. Good choices. No sodas!
If you plan on going off campus for lunch, don’t pig out and hopefully you’ll eat healthy.
Wear good shoes. No flip-flops! Chacos might not be the best choice either.
Don’t worry about make-up, ladies!
Always bring extra reeds.
And Ibuprofen, Advil, Tylenol, etc.
If you’re getting fitted for uniforms, don’t be too timid to tell them if something doesn’t feel right. Just because it might look good doesn’t mean it feels good. You don’t want to be marking time on your pants all season, and you surely want to be able to move your arms. Usually the uniform people will check that, but if it doesn’t feel right, TELL THEM.
Make sure you have a ride home. If your parents are at work or can’t pick you up, make arrangements with a friend, but ask for your parent’s permission and your friend’s parent’s permission first.
If you are driving to and fro band camp, stay safe! They don’t want to lose a valuable marcher (or marchers) mid-season.
Breaks and lunch is a good time to cram in any summer reading assignments you didn’t do! Just don’t let it distract you too much.
If you have to miss a day, tell your director ahead of time.
If you get sick and have to miss, tell your director before the day is over.
If you do get sick and don’t feel like making up those hours, come to band camp anyway and ask to sit in the air conditioning all day (concession stand, band room, wherever all the volunteers are set up). You’ll technically be counted there and not have to make up. ;)
Plan vacations and other trips accordingly. Missing band camp is a big deal and causes problems for the entire band. It’s hard to learn a show when there’s someone missing.
Try to attend every sectional if possible. You don’t want to miss any important information.
If you do miss a sectional, ask your section leader what they went over, whether it be announcements or a part in the music that you need to practice.
When the director is making announcements, be quiet and listen! (If someone gives you laps, just run them and get it over with.)
Be prepared for anything. If you feel the need to pack an extra shirt or pair of socks, go ahead. If you have contacts, you might want to bring some solution or a case. If you have glasses, bring an extra pair. Et cetera, et cetera.
Make sure your phone is charged in case there is a conflict with something or an emergency.
Don’t bring anything that is too valuable. You never know what might happen. It could get stolen or you could lose it.
If you do lose something, ask around to see if anyone’s seen it. Check in the band lost-and-found if your band has one.
Bring a reasonable amount of money in case you need to buy something from a snack machine, turn in fees, etc. But not too much!
Know the show like the back of your hand. Not just your dots, but everything else that’s going on too. Ask your section leader if you can look through the drill charts and get a feel for the entire band and field.
Practice, practice, practice! Know the music from memory so you can play it loud and proud! (Or soft, just depends on the dynamic marking.)
If you see someone off step, don’t be afraid to call left and right. It’s better to correct them than have them keep screwing up.
Adding to the above, if one person messes up, everyone around them does. So do your best! Do you know how hard it is to make a good looking curve when one person isn’t right?
Accept nothing but the best.
When spraying sunscreen, make sure your instrument is not within your spraying radius. Trust me, sunscreen-flavored reeds aren’t fun to play on.
Camelbak bladder backpacks are great for being out on the field/lot.
Always put on deodorant. Please.
Beach towels are nice to have if you’re practicing on the blacktop/lot. The pavement can absorb heat, and it burns your booty buns when sitting down.
If you are practicing on the blacktop/lot, your shoes might melt…
Always have house keys or have some hidden around the outside of your house in case no one’s home. You don’t want to be locked out after a long, tiring day of band camp.
Reuse old bottles by filling them up with water or Gatorade (from the big Gatorade bottles). This’ll help save the environment. ;)
Upperclassmen are really good people to get acquainted with. They can give you pointers and tips about your own band and the way of doing things or getting you familiar with everything/one.
Chin up, kid. Persevere.
Be nice to everyone. (I know it’s hard sometimes, but at least try.)
Build a good relationship with your band director(s). They’ll always be there for you.
Don’t chew gum while playing! My director doesn’t even allow it, instruments or not!
No matter how much you want to curl back up and go to sleep, you have to push through the day whether you like it or not. Again, persevere.
Watch the drum major.
If you can’t find the beat or keep getting off step, listen to the drumline. You can usually detect the basic pulse.
Watch out for guard flags. They hurt when they hit you, but just accept it as an awesome, legendary battle wound.
Don’t fall for the “Your plume’s on backwards” trick. Though it is fun to pull on people! Unless your plume can actually be backwards…
Ask your director if you can listen to a recording of the show music.
If you can get a download of a recording, put it on your iPod or phone so you can listen to it wherever. Know the show like the back of your hand.
Step out of your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid.
Never take anything for granted. From a gush-n-go/splash-n-dash, to a cloud offering some shade, to your last home game, to Senior Night, to the entire experience when you look back while walking across that graduation stage. The band is your family and you should always cherish them.
Have good posture. It looks sloppy if you don’t.
If your band has a Rookie Veteran program, be a part of it. Usually, rookies are forced to be in it, but if you’re eligible to be a veteran, definitely do it! These rookies are the future of your band program; the legacy you leave behind is what these guys are building from. It’s also great to get to know everyone, younger or older.
Never miss deadlines. If you have to turn in fees or forms by a certain date, turn it in on time.
Speaking of being on time, in the band world, early is on time, on time is late, and late is death. Always show up 10-15 minutes prior to call time, so make time for getting uniforms, instruments, etc.
Get involved. If your band is having a party or event, ask your friends to go to it with you.
That’s another part of never taking anything for granted. It’s going to be gone before you know it.
Keep your grades up.
You’re representing the band program in everything you do.
Set a good example for the underclassmen.
Don’t start drama during band camp (or at all really). It just carries on annoyingly through the beginning of the school year and the rest of the season.
When signing up for band buses, sign up with your friends. I know I’ve been stressing that you should make new friends, but if you try and don’t succeed, you’re left in this awkward situation for the entire season. But you should at least attempt!
Do stand dances and cheers. No matter how stupid you think you look, everyone else is looking stupid too. It’s FUN.
Make every note count.
Always step off on your left foot. This isn’t The Cadets. (And if it is, good luck!)
Eyes with pride.
Do you have any suggestions? Think of anything I may have missed? Feel free to send them to me! :)
I’m going to ramble for a bit here because I’ve been thinking but I don’t really know where I’m going with this so its just, like, loosely connected thoughts regarding Rose and Pearl’s relationship and, like, whatever else ends up spinning off of that.
I don’t think loyalty and devotion are ‘natural’ traits of a Pearl, I don’t think they’re actually made to be particularly loyal or devoted. Loyalty and devotion, in general, imply at least some semblance of belief or faith in what you’re following. You are loyal because you have faith in who you are loyal to, you are devoted because you enthusiastically believe in who you are devoted to. Pearls are described as needing to be told what to do and so far it seems like they’re not supposed to have much autonomy or personal thought. It doesn’t seem like they’re made to believe in anything, just to follow orders. They’re not made to be loyal or devoted, but rather to be obedient. To blindly follow orders and to not think or feel anything about what they’re doing, it is not important that they believe in anything, just that they obey. To make them feel loyalty or devotion would take their feelings into account, it would make them feel like they want to follow someone, which I think Homeworld would see as irrelevant. They don’t need to want to follow someone, they just need to do it.
So, I think Pearl’s (albeit extremely intense) loyalty and devotion to Rose were entirely of her doing. Perhaps piggybacking off her natural disposition to obey, but it being all her own. She has faith in Rose Quartz, she enthusiastically believes in her and her cause, she loves her. She feels, and it informs her actions, which is something I’d wager Pearls are not meant to be able to do. The ‘love’ part is important, there’s no way Pearls were made to love, given everything we know, Gems don’t seem to understand love at all and likely don’t “naturally” love at all, they wouldn’t make Pearls to feel affection for their owners. How a Pearl feels about anything doesn’t matter, they’re just supposed to obey, its unnecessary to give them a ‘reason’ to follow orders.
But I don’t think there just happened to be something about Pearl that made her special, that made her defy her purpose while all other Pearls just comply. Rather, I think what allowed Pearl to develop into her own person was that she was given the opportunity to think for herself. She happened to get into a situation where she had relative freedom to think for herself, to choose to do something rather than just follow orders.
One of SU’s major themes is choice, the importance of choice, of choosing who you are, how you are the one to define yourself. Another major theme I think is nature vs. nurture - what you’re made to be and who you can be when given the freedom to grow into something new. There’s a lot of time spent seeing how people are being raised. The most central of which is, of course, Steven, who has 4 parental figures each with entirely different ways of doing things but who all give him the freedom to grow and learn as he does. We see how other characters nurture too - we see Vidalia allow her sons to express their creativity even when its disruptive, we see both Connie and Sadie be stifled under the overprotectiveness and oversupportiveness (respectively) of their parents. We see how we treat and interact with people has an impact on how they change and grow. Under Homeworld rule, Gems aren’t given the freedom to be their own people and its so ‘natural’ to them they don’t even think to question it. Crystal Gems, it seems, are given the freedom to be who they are and are allowed to become new, unique people.
At current, I’m of the belief that Rose Quartz was not naturally compassionate or kind. I don’t think she was especially cruel, but that she acted in the way Gems had always acted, which we’re seeing was not particularly kind. I think Rose used to be a model high-ranking Gem who bought into Gem society entirely, enforced it, believed it. I think she was probably fairly terrifying, back in the day. But something happened, something rattled her worldview significantly enough to plant a seed of doubt within her, so she could no longer just fully accept everything she was doing on Homeworld. Just a tiny little nagging doubt causing her to actually think about how she was acting and how she was treating others (Gems and beings on other planets). If we believe Pink Diamond theory (which I personally do), and we separate it as Homeworld Rose was Pink Diamond, then this ‘seed’ is what eventually allowed her to grow into being the Rose Quartz that Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Greg have such admiration and affection for.
And so if Rose was starting to change (slowly, of course, because Gems are essentially rocks and rocks don’t change particularly quickly, and in this case we’re taking it metaphorically) because of whatever shook up her worldview, even a little bit, this would start to have ripple effects. Small acts that deviate from the expected in how she treats other Gems would cause other Gems to start thinking a little differently too. Not HUGE differences of course, but in small ways. Tiny, needling feelings of doubt that things have to stay the way they’ve always been.
I could easily see, very very early in Rose’s personal journey in becoming this new, more compassionate person, her very slightly changing how she interacted with Pearl (assuming, of course, that Pearl was always Rose’s Pearl and was so long before Rose’s point of view changed). After years and years of being treated how all Pearls are treated and never even thinking anything of it (it would not be in her natural capacity to do so), one day, Rose makes a small gesture regarding Pearl as her own Gem. Nothing actually intending to be an act of kindness, nothing like Rose deciding “I’m going to be nice to this Pearl”, but rather something naturalistic. Perhaps she gave her a choice, a small, seemingly insignificant choice (left or right? blue or red? sit or stand?). Something Rose wouldn’t think twice about but something that was Earth-shattering to a Pearl, because they just aren’t expected to ever do such a thing. Just, something very very small that gave the barest impression of Pearl being her own person. And that tiny action planted a seed which allowed Pearl to start thinking for herself in very very small ways. To start having feelings or thoughts on things she never even considered doing before. A small change, inspiring a change, which snowballs into eventually completely changing their way of life
And I believe that was when Pearl started to fall in love with Rose and feel the capacity to love for the first time, and not a second earlier. Not all at once, I’m sure, but a feeling that grew over time to become love and loyalty and devotion. Love, mind you, not infatuation. Infatuation is unreasonable and foolish admiration, its shallow. Rose and Pearl’s relationship was very very complicated, but it certainly wasn’t shallow or foolish at all. Pearl’s feelings for Rose were based on Rose making her feel like she mattered, making her feel like she was everything even when Pearl herself thought she was nothing. That’s significant, that’s important, that means something. And this is also the reason I think its very very important for Pearl’s love, loyalty, and devotion to Rose be of her own volition, rather than stem from her being subservient. It’s something that means so much to Pearl and who she is and how she regards herself that I feel it has to be something unique and specific to her.
I dunno. Like I said, I don’t really know where I was going with this, I just wanted to get my thoughts down.