Something I think is interesting is that Keith says "my mom left me". Considering his dad, why wouldn't he say "my mom left US"? Was Keith's dad dead by the time she left? Did she leave beforehand, with little Keith not registering his dad's loss of his significant other? Does the use of "Me" imply he blames himself, thinking she left *him* specifically?
yeah i’ve been thinking about that… because the wording is pretty specific. and as we’ve acknowledged and seen before, keith likes to establish the facts and gather the information with stuff. it’s quite a sweeping and very clear statement to say his mum left him if he isn’t sure of that being true. that discussion is all here, no point in paraphrasing if it’s already down haha.
but yeah following that and your message we ought to look at the mindscape for some more clues. bc honestly the way he deals with the news of his mother coming says a lot. @dent-de-leon did a cool answer about something related to this recently, i’ll see if i can find it and link it here.
Okay yeah before we do that though, it’s really important to remember that the mindscape is really not the Objective Truth and neither is the vlog in many respects. Keith’s perception is not clear. With both, we absolutely cannot take keith’s words as such as Law and assume he’s on the mark about everything, because he’s just not. There’s so much turbulence and grief, shame and a whole bunch of other things embedded right at the crux of this.
We have to step back and evaluate what he says rather than just digest it as the truth - because there really is so much going on here. it is so personal and subjective, we’re seeing something very raw and getting a glimpse into how keith sees his own self. we’re not always our biggest fans, and whilst keith is self-aware in many things - that doesn’t mean he’s accurate in his assessments of what he’s aware of, or that he’s aware of everything. With regards to the vlog let me just say yeah what he’s saying seems true to him, but we should take into account it’s coming from him. Which is awesome bc it gives us a glimpse further into how he operates and thinks ect.
also, there is a notable lapse built up by deep insecurities and thoughts he’s harboured for clearly a long time about himself (which is likely founded in how he’s been treated by people, inevitably caused by his past, ect).
the mindscape is rooted deeply in keith’s perceptions of other people, himself and events - alongside being the manifestations of his greatest hopes and fears according to kolivan. honestly imo nothing his dad says can be taken as truth or Actual Fact at all, because it’s not his dad - it’s KEITH. it’s all keith’s mind and that is the formulation of his dad, not his actually dad. Joaquim actually brought that up in an interview:
You don’t know exactly what went down or how it went down. Even the way he is able to find out about his past is sort of through re-living a virtual mindscape. His history wasn’t even real events with his dad, it was this sort of subconscious manifestation that explained everything to him. [x]
so i think for the sake of keeping this rhetoric present we’ll call keith’s father holo!dad bc that’s actually what he is.
mindscape GETS ME SO GOD DAMN EXCITED LIKE HOLY SHIT. the mindscape is like the best and coolest example of unreliable narrator. but honestly? the most exciting thing to me about that is that tells us so much more because it’s an unreliable narrator.
okay ANyway. MOVING TO THE POINT: here’s how im gonna lay this out. we’ll talk about his dad in the mindscape first, what’s mentioned about his mother there, and then swing it back round to that vlog! im also gonna put all this under a cut bc it’s like 3K.