I saw a dream of drinking up the bottom of the sea in one breath -
HBD Ochako my darling !! @saigennaku and my Idol AU continue to plague me to this day and I’m weak to fun themed idol outfits… I was gonna draw a kacchako accompanying doodle to this but I’m very exhausted haha ;;;
so just thinking,,,,im so sick of straights seeing gay as a ‘trend’ or some shit,,,like it got old so fast,,like they act like “oh being gay is so cool and relatable and i wish i were gay”,,,and with actors,,“oh i want my character to be interpreted as gay,,he might be gay who knows cause that would be great, right?” like ??? im sick of it,,,
You are loved. You are valued. And you are beautiful.
pairing: ashton x reader
word count: 1,965
okay so this ft. daddy!ashton LIKE THE FATHER not the kink you dirty motherfuckers,, and tbh when i think of ash as a dad i just imagine him being like the wisest human being and most supportive person ever. who gives great, like, pep talks n shit
also its inspired slightly by this clip, which my friend showed me and i constantly remember it when im feeling like self conscious or worthless ya feel
idk i hope you like it xx
“Ash, it’s happened.”
He wasn’t expecting to walk through the door tonight, greeted with that vague statement. But, shrugging off his coat and placing it over a chair in the kitchen, he looked at you, confused. “What do you mean, what happened?”
You placed the last dish in the dishwasher, closing it and leaning against the counter. “Ava wants a boyfriend.”
Ashton–being the overprotective father he was, especially towards his only daughter–loathed the day the topic of dating would be brought up. He still saw Ava as just a cute little girl who would sit in his lap, his hands in Ashton’s as he drummed a simple tune on the small drum kit in your home, an expression of pure contentment on her face. She always loved to feel like a rockstar with her dad, always being around Ashton and his band and learning tids and bits on each of their respective instruments; joining them on tour when she was 5 was the best time of her life. You or Ash had never seen her that excited before.
But now, he was pulled back into reality, realizing Ava was nearly 15. She was so grown up now, and to you and Ashton it felt like just yesterday she was learning to talk.
It’s not that he hated she was this old, Ashton loved her daughter more and more everyday, but the whole world she was growing into with so many expectations and pressures on daily life–it scared him. He was scared that she would be influenced into wrong ideas, and that people would hurt her. He knew life could be cruel sometimes, and we’re brought down by others around us whether we like it or not. And he didn’t want her to be hurt.
Of course, there was the obvious stereotype that all dads didn’t want their daughters to be dating at such a young age because of “bad boys” and the activities couples partake in at younger and younger ages. And truthfully, Ashton had fallen into that categories of dads. He thought she was too young.
The firm command immediately fell from his lips, without a second to think about it. You nodded. “I agree.”
“So, why are we even having this conversation?” He asked. It seemed rather tedious; no meant no.
“Because it’s not just the fact that she wants a boyfriend that’s bothering me; we had a talk and she opened up to me some, saying how bad she felt about herself.” You told him, your heart trembling as you remembered how your daughter cried in your arms, at how unwanted she felt. Purely because, you had been in her situation: crying in your mother’s arms to her about how no one could ever want you for how weird you were.
Ashton’s jaw tightened, that same skipped beat felt in his chest that you felt. “Did you…does she feel any better? After you talked?”
“Well, she’s still in her room after I left her to cry it out some. But I think you should talk to her. It’d do her some good to talk to you, I think.” You suggested, biting your bottom lip.
“You think so?”
“I mean, you helped me.”
He nodded, jaw slackening as he made up his mind. “Yeah, I can talk to her.”
“Tell me how it goes.” You said, watching him as he sauntered up the stairs and to Ava’s room.
He didn’t even know where he would begin with the conversation. The walk to her room was so slow to him, taking his time to think about what he was going to say and reminding himself to let her talk and explain herself, and get everything out into the open. He knew she shouldn’t keep these kinds of things to herself; it wasn’t healthy for her–or anyone for that matter.
Quietly, he knocked on the door, listening for her approval to come in over the soft music she had playing in her room.
“Did Mom send you up here?”
He sighed, placing his hand on the door handle. “Can I come in? I want to make sure you’re okay.”
There was a pause. “Fine.”
When he opened the door, he saw Ava, curled up on her bed, hiding her face behind her knees. My poor girl, he thought to himself, walking further into her room. “What’s going on, princess?”
She picked her head up, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Just feeling sad, I guess.”
“About what?” She kept her mouth shut as she looked up into his eyes. She didn’t want to answer him. He took a seat on her bed next to her. “C’mon, you can talk to me about anything. I thought we were buds.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s just, hard sometimes. To watch your friends all be happy around you, with people that love them and you’re just so alone.”
“Hold on, who said no one loved you?”
“You don’t see me coming home telling you about some guy that loves me and makes me happy, do you?” She asked. “It’s not like there are guys just lining up, begging me to date them or anything.”
“Do you think you need to date a guy to feel loved and accepted?”
It took her a second, but she nodded in response. “Yeah, I do. Because that’s how it is with all my friends.”
“You think you need to date a guy to be happy?”
Ashton sighed, scratching the back of his neck and thinking about how he was going to approach this delicately. “Okay, so you aren’t happy around your friends? When you go out to the movies, or to concerts, or just hanging out with them? When you come home from spending time with them, and you’re smiling and telling me and your mom about how fun your day was with them? Are those smiles not genuine?” The girl looked at him, debating on whether or not this was a rhetorical question. Ashton kept talking, though. “What about your family? Me, your mom, your little brother–do we not make you happy? What about music; I know for a fact that music makes you happy. Ever since you were this tall–” Ashton held his hand to the side, nearly 2 feet off the ground “–you loved when I would bring you into the studio and play around with all the different instruments. You absolutely loved it. Your mom hated when I insisted on bringing you guys on tour because of how crazy it could get sometimes, but once she saw how big you smiled at every show, she told me that she was wrong. She and I both love seeing you happy like that. And even today, when you’re up here jamming on your bass or when you and your friends all go to concerts and wait for hours and hours to get front row. Then, after those concerts, you come home buzzing with adrenaline and sharing all the memories you made that night with me and your mom. But you’re telling none of these things make you happy…without some guy?”
“You don’t understand, Dad!” She yelled at him, the tears that had welled up in her eyes as he spoke now falling down her cheeks. “Those things make me happy, but they don’t make me feel wanted or loved! I listen to music because it makes me feel like I have something there for me–like, it’s that reminder that I’m not alone. I wouldn’t need it if I had a guy to remind me and tell me I’m beautiful and loved and–”
“Honey, guys at your age don’t know what love is. You’re not even 15 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you to be worrying about whether or not a guy loves your or not.”
“Then why are my friends worrying about it?”
“Because they’re naive and insecure.”
“And you don’t think I’m insecure?” She shouted, bringing her shaking hands up to wipe her eyes. “It’s like everyday I walk into school fearing that I’ll be judged by my friends and everyone there. I am so scared, Dad, that I’ll never be good enough for anyone. I just really need that validation that…that I’m enough.”
Ashton swallowed; he didn’t know what to say. All he could do was pull his little girl close, hugging her tightly. She cried into his chest, loud sobs filling her small bedroom. He slowly rubbed her back in attempts to calm her some. “Shh, princess, everything’s going to be okay.”
“It doesn’t feel like it’s going to be okay.”
“Then I’ll do everything I can to make it okay.” He told her, releasing her and looking her intently in the eyes. He swiped his large thumbs under her eyes where tears laid. “Look, I know life is hard, especially when you’re growing up because believe it or not I was your age once and dealt with this same kind of thing. And I’m here, right? I’m here and I love you. I will always love you, Mom will always love you and your little brother will always love you. Friends, they come and go, but the few true ones you’ll have will always be by your side. And they love you too.
“As for self worth, for some of us it’s a little harder to be happy with who we are and love ourselves. And you may be going through that, but I promise you that as you grow older and mature a little more and figure out what makes you happy and what you believe in and what you love, loving yourself will become easier. It takes a little time and people like me and your mom and your friends to remind you sometimes, but you will always be enough, Ava. No matter what, your life is worth living. You are so talented and such a wonderful person and friend–it honestly kills me to see you like this. All of us value you, whether it be as a great daughter, sister, or friend. We all appreciate you in our lives.
“Ava, you are so beautiful. Not just in how you look, but you have a massive heart. You are a spitting image of your mom, who is the most gorgeous person I have ever met. You have her eyes, and how kind they are. And how your cute little cheeks protrude out when you smile,” That comment had a small smile tug at her lips, which made Ashton smile as well. “There it is–that award winning smile. Princess, I know you may doubt yourself sometimes, but inside and out, everything about you is beautiful. And you should never change a thing about yourself to make someone else happy. Be yourself, do what you love; really, the whole trick to life is just to be happy. You shouldn’t look to love a guy to make you happy, true happiness comes in life where you least expect it and in the little things. Life is weird sometimes. It’s a hell of a ride, but overall, it’s just a good time, if I’m honest. And if you’re happy in the end, then I’ve done my job as your dad.”
Ava whimpered, falling into Ashton’s arms again and hugging him as if she’d never let go. “I love you so much, Dad.”
Ashton cradled the back of her head, kissing her cheek gently. “I love you too, Ava. Please, no matter what goes on in your life, remember a couple things for me. Can you do that?”
She nodded. “What is it?”
“Remember that I’m always here for you, and that you are loved, you are valued, and you are beautiful.”
to people saying: things will never be the same after this song is released. and we will get new fans, and the ‘old fans’ should stick together and blah blah bullshit.
heres a thought, maybe you should welcome those new fans. and be supportive. like the actual old fans did to all of you. we helped you so much in learning about these 4 idiots, the least you can do is the same. be the bigger person and don’t act like you’re better than anyone, because you’re not. just because you’ve been here longer doesn’t mean anything. be. welcoming.
I'd love to finally experience some of my white privilege cause im pretty sick of being jobless and broke and feeling like shit 24/7 thanks to a mental disorder and abusive family, but hey, at least I can see so many white folks in media, cause that's so fucking relevant