cause i was high when i wrote this

The Road To Good Grades

[Warning - A Very Lengthy Post]

A fellow student of mine wrote this when for my batch when we entered high school, and I thought I should share it with you ❤️ it’s been edited to make it more universal to you guys :D

Intro: Having the Courage to Study.
When we fail academically, we tend to point to two causes: stupidity and laziness. It’s so easy to say that we’re not smart enough, or that we just don’t want to try because it doesn’t really matter. But there’s another factor involved: fear. So many students have the strategy of not studying or not studying properly for an exam. Why? Because if you put low effort into something, then you should expect a low result. So many of us are afraid of trying and failing that we don’t even try. “What if my best isn’t good enough?” We’re afraid of giving our best because once we know our limits, we feel that much weaker. But life in school isn’t about not trying, it’s about accepting those limits and breaking them.To survive and ultimately thrive, you must have the courage to reach your full potential.That courage, that vigor, that strive to be better is what will keep you alive, not just in school but in the real world.

- Sleep and Eat well.
We often lose sleep or skip meals in order to survive the rigors of life.But keep in mind, those choices in the rest and nourishment you receive have consequences. Having the energy to focus throughout the day is vital. Nobody wants to be tired, nobody can afford to be sick.

- Pay Attention in Class.
There’s a difference between passive hearing and active listening. Letting the teacher’s words wash over you like a warm shower is NOT the same as paying attention. Teachers are human beings, capable of expressing emotion and emphasis in their words and actions. There’s a reason why you learn from them rather than from a book or the internet. Catching what they’re trying to say is a skill that takes effort to learn.

**The skill of listening is one of the most important ones to develop because a teacher’s words are your last resort in an examination. If a quiz catches you by surprise, your memory of the class is the difference between A+ and an F.

- Take USABLE Notes.
Normally, humans are not capable of memorizing lessons entirely in their head.That’s what notes are for. Keep in mind that notes should be USABLE, they are not things that you make for the sake of looking or feeling productive. Each person has a specific style of learning and their notes should reflect that. Notes that are too long/elaborate, too short/simple, unreadable, or illogical are detrimental. Good notes should be aids in studying, not justification for carrying notebooks.

- Save time by using abbreviations or acronyms.
- Rearrange/reconstruct words or phrases for convenience.
ex. Famous Authors of America –> Impt. American Authors.
- Avoid copying verbatim unless necessary (quotes).
- Write down examples, esp. in science/math related subjects.
- If notes are incomplete, supplement them via reliable sources or your teacher.

- Practice.
There is more to studying than reading/note-taking. Practice is essential. This is especially true for Math-related subjects. Reading your notes before a Math exam is not really going to help you understand the problem or protect you from careless mistakes. The only way to improve in the subject is by doing the exercises and learning from both your success and failure. Memorizing definitions isn’t as important as using them. Being able to analyze, compare, and contrast is vital to survival.

- Review a Little Bit, Regularly.
Slow and steady wins the race. Students tend to read a ton of material before an exam. However, the human mind requires time in order to fully grasp ideas and concepts. Taking 10-20 minutes to read your notes after school daily can help in memorizing lessons, understanding themes, and recalling important points. Taking every subject’s lessons day by day will prevent you from being overwhelmed.

- When reading through your notes, picture yourself in the classroom with your classmates and teacher. The human mind is like a web, connected by images and sounds. Doing so can help you recall things written on the board or things mentioned by the teacher.

- Learn to Plan and Cram.
Working for the long-term and rushing for the short-term are two opposing ends of the spectrum. But if you don’t master both, you will suffocate in requirements.Time and energy are limited resources and the best scholars know how to get the most out of them. You can’t expect to be able to plan assignments weeks or days in advance the same way you can’t expect to make “academic excellence” in 30 minutes or less like a pizza delivery service.

- Periodic Exams, Long Tests, and Projects REQUIRE planning and coordination.
- Teachers can take up to 5 minutes setting up. Exploit the time.
- Lunchbreak, and the 20 minute breaks are the normal “"cram periods”“.

- Don’t Think of Difficulty.
“Easy” and “Hard” are relative terms. They mean different things to different people and ultimately, they should mean nothing to you. Feeling scared of a “tough” exam is harmful, as is feeling smug about an “easy” one. Study well so you can approach every test with confidence. Remember: it’s just as possible to perfect a difficult test as it is to fail an easy one.

- Don’t Compare Yourself to Others.
The world has approx. 7 billion people. There are always going to be people who are better than you at a given skill, the same way that there will always be people who are worse. Don’t consider them. Your life is your battle, and you’re going to have to fight it for yourself. Being discouraged by your friends’ high scores is as illogical as being encouraged by their low scores. There’s no reason to be proud of 1/10, even if it’s the highest score in the whole class.

- Don’t Blame Teachers.
Not all of your teachers are going to be fair or good at their jobs, whether you like it or not. Regardless, you can’t control your teacher’s incompetence or harshness but you can control the effort you put into their class. Read in advance, find other of info sources, and predict their requirements. The odds may be against you, but as a student you’re expected to beat them.

- Consult.
There’s no shame in asking for help. If you have difficulty in a subject, it always helps to consult with a teacher. Not only does it help in resolving any misconceptions/mistakes, it shows that you’re willing to take the time and effort to do well. To most teachers, that spirit is just as important as the final grade. Note: if a teacher knows that you have difficulty in their subject, they’ll probably take note of it in class which may be to your benefit.

- Find Your Own Strategy/Work Smart.
No single study strategy works universally. Everyone has their own specific style of learning and it’s up to you to find yours. If skimming through readings works for you then go ahead. If you’re the kind that needs to take notes, fine. It’s all about working both hard and smart, giving the most energy but finding the most effective way of using it. Humans are creative creatures. You might find that the best solution is one that no one has thought of before.

- Be Liable.
You need to be proactive in academics. Many students have the tendency to be caught off guard by a surprise quiz. They’ll often argue with the teacher, using the retort “Ma'am, you didn’t announce it!” as an excuse. Shaking off responsibility through ignorance is suicidal in this school. If you’re willing to take the risk of coming to class unprepared for the sake of being lazy, go ahead. Just be prepared for the consequences of your actions.

- Keep Moving Forward.
You’re human. Humans make mistakes. Learn from your errors but leave them where they belong; in the past. Everyone wants to get an A+ but you’ll never go that far with the weight of your failure hanging over your shoulder.

Conclusion: Don’t Take Academics too Seriously.
It seems counter-intuitive to end this guide with a statement like “Don’t Take Academics Too Seriously” but it’s something that everyone should remember. No matter no hard you try, you will fail at something. You’ll reach an obstacle that will knock you down to the ground and it will hurt like hell. You need to have something to fall back; friends, family, a hobby, an interest, etc. You don’t want to graduate and realize that you’re only good at earning numbers in a system.You could graduate this high school with the highest average in history but it won’t matter to anyone if you don’t know how you got it. Life is just like math, it’s not all
about the final answer. Your solution is just as important.

**Ultimately, your success as a scholar isn’t measured by a number on a piece of paper but in the difference you make in people’s lives. We’re not going to carry facts and theorems with us, but an attitude of trying to give our best no matter what the cost. That’s the most important lesson you can ever learn in school, but you’re not going to learn it from one subject or teacher. You’re going to live it everyday through every requirement and every grade receive.

listen, we know from York that Delta is constantly running probabilities in his head so, logically, Scientifically….this convo could absolutely happen:

“-lightning strike. The model 45 has a 1/5 chance of an increased recoil.  69% of-”
“wait D what was that last one?”
“..The model 45 has a-”
“no, no, the one after that”
“holy shit Delta…u said the sex number….”
“York, please focus” 

“i’m so proud,,,……..” 

anonymous asked:

who is henry?

If you see me talk about Henry, I’m most likely referring to a little boy named Henry Lawrence that is buried in Salem, MA’s Old Burying Point Cemetery. Here’s his headstone: 

There’s not much information about him because he was just a little kid from Salem. His headstone is really all the information we have about him:

“In Memory of Henry Lawrence. Son of Capt. Abel and Mrs. Abigail Lawrence. His death was instantaneous by falling from a Horse. Aug 13th 1798. Aged 8 years, 8 months.” 

His sisters, Mary (age 9) and Polly (age 4) are buried beside him but his parents aren’t, so I suspect they moved away after they lost their children. May they all rest in peace.

I first learned about him when I was in my junior year of high school. At my school, the junior year always got to go to Salem (”educational” purposes). We had to look up the headstones and pick one and then write about the cause of their death, or whatever we could learn about them. In the Old Burying Point cemetery, a lot of the famous people from the witch trials are buried. So most people picked the Proctors or someone else that was easier to research. I chose Henry and I’m not sure why. When we went to visit Salem, our task was to find the headstone we wrote about and take a picture. So we did. Then I just sat with Henry for a while. I don’t know why I feel so attached to him, it just is what it is.

Now every year my mom and I go back at least one time to visit. I always leave him gifts. Always toys, usually stuffed animals. I’ve left him an orange and white cat, a sheep, a sheepdog, a monkey, and a lemur among other things. Sometimes I see him in other people’s photos because of the toy I leave behind. I always wonder if other people may leave him things too. Or if he gets more attention because of it. I really hope so. He deserves to be remembered. 

To my depression,

It’s been awhile since I wrote you. I’d ask how you are doing but quite frankly I don’t give a damn. You caused far too much chaos in my mind and prodded at my soul for far too long. So when I see you in the street I won’t say hello, I’ll walk by with a smile on my face and my head held high bc I know I’ve become too strong for you to weasel your way into my life again. I wake up with a smile on my face everyday. I have the energy to go out and make something of my life. The holes you stabbed in my soul have been patched up. All that remains are the scars of what you did but I no longer cringe when I look at them. I see them as a sign of how far I’ve traveled with you. So thank you for making me into who I am today but you’re not welcome to come back ever again.

Your former home

—  March 20th 10:17pm

kittylove4ever246  asked:

Hi mama so... I'm so pissed honestly😑 I like writing Ereri/Riren AUs along with other SNK AUs, and three people just took my AU notebook and started reading it and judging it and I high-key wanna stop writing because it's humiliating. Like, i hate when people do that. And they judge me cause I ship gay ships. I don't know what to do Mama

Wow seriously, fuck those people! Don’t let them ruin your fun! Please keep writing! Don’t let these asshats get you down! There’S nothing wrong with shipping two dudes and creativity is such an important thing! I love you and I’d love to read something you wrote sometime! :)

Bruce (@rabbruad1) wrote: 

‘Sweetiepie, you’ve heard of quiet…would you care to try it?’

I did once try the quiet diet, but I didn’t buy it. I was on a guyot near Hawaii, it was, when someone sky writ a phrase of high wit that caused a riot when some guy hit my friend Wyatt and his eye, it swelled and he bled from his head, his hair so red he had to dye it! Sigh, it wasn’t worth the sty pit. I won’t be trying quiet again.

anonymous asked:

who is Henry to you? a distant relative? sorry if this is prying I'm just curious :0

It’s not prying at all. Henry is just a little boy from Salem MA. 

I first learned about him when I was in my junior year of high school. At my school, the junior year always got to go to Salem (”educational” purposes). We had to look up the headstones and pick one and then write about the cause of their death, or whatever we could learn about them. In the Old Burying Point cemetery, a lot of the famous people from the witch trials are buried. So most people picked the Proctors or someone else that was easier to research. I chose Henry and I’m not sure why. When we went to visit Salem, our task was to find the headstone we wrote about and take a picture. So we did. Then I just sad with Henry for a while. 

Now every year my mom and I go back at least one time to visit. 

I’m going to preface this with:

I don’t know Lili personally, for all I know, she is very lovely, but based on the public information I have, I have a hard time believing that. And, this post is not directed at ANYONE. These are MY opinions, that’s it.

1. I thought Lili was queer, because of this tweet. I’ve seen this film. There is a lot of lesbian sex, and no reason to watch it ten times if you don’t enjoy that kind of thing. And I was under this impression for a while, but then she decided to reexplain her thoughts on Beronica which you can read here. Some parts of this I understand, but when she starts talking about how she should be cut slack cause she wrote an essay about gay rights, or because her best friend is pansexual, I stopped understanding. These statements don’t entitle you to anything, in fact they show a high level of ignorance. As a queer woman myself reading someone say that they deserve special treatment for being an ally bothers me. Veronica and Betty kissed on screen and that kiss was how the first episode was promoted. I do not understand how anyone can come to a conclusion that that wasn’t baiting fans into thinking they would be in a relationship. I think Lili still fails to see how queer relationships are discussed and portrayed in Hollywood. How can the same girl who watches a lesbian film 10 times not understand this? Something is missing.

2. This Tweet was not professional. Lili is an actress it’s her job to go with the flow and do her best job to portray the role. This does not include complaining. I have had many opportunities to become an actress and I’ve said no, so far, because I’m not at the place in /my/ life where I wouldn’t complain if I was uncomfortable. Mads almost got hypothermia and KJ broke his hand, but still, they acted like professionals. I understand where Lili is coming from, but I don’t understand why she seems proud of it. Many actresses, Amy Shumer and Jennifer Lawrence are the first to come to mind, have built their career on self-deprecation. They fall on stage and talk about how much they drink, Aubrey Plaza is another one, they do a commercial for old navy where they change in the middle of the dance floor, they complain about doing their job. It’s not cute, but fans are eating it up. Women are not respected as legitimate actors who can be gracious and stand proud, so they find other ways, by being relatable. However, at some point, they are not being relatable, but diminishing the power a woman can have. By pridefully admitting that she complained Lili is reminding people that yes, having hormones is a reason women shouldn’t be in the Whitehouse and yes we are two emotional to be productive members of society. As a business woman myself, when women do this, I get taken less seriously, we all do.

3. I don’t know why Mads puts up with it, but Lili making fun of Mads for being vegan is not okay. The way she talks reminds me of my great aunt. I have celiac disease, this means I am completely intolerant to gluten, another thing Lili seems to find funny, but so does most of LA so I guess it shouldn’t matter. Anyways, anytime I went over to her house, AFTER I’d put something in my mouth, she’d tell me it contained gluten. I’d freak and almost throw up and then she’d laugh and say she was just joking. The way Lili talks about Mads being vegan, I see a lot of the same tendencies in her. It goes right back to the last point. If you inherently think you can’t be taken seriously then you make a joke out of everything and that’s not okay.

Do I think Lili is a horrible person? No. But, I do think she has a lot to learn. I don’t think she is currently able to understand why any of this is wrong, and maybe it has to do with being raised in the midwest or something. But, currently, I would not want to be friends with her. I hope she learns and I hope she grows, but you ask why I don’t think she is with Cole, this is a big part of it, why I think Cami has kept some distance, it all comes back to this. I don’t know if she knows any better, but even if she doesn’t that doesn’t excuse her actions.

Just some food for thought.

And Lili, if you read this, I don’t you’re a bad person at all, you just have some growing and learning to do like all of us. And, if you are interested I’d love to chat further. I just have a really hard time condoning this behavior. I had to say something.

anonymous asked:

Can I have the four boyband's reactions and what will they do if their pregnant fem wifey goes into labor and the situation got them thinking of how amazing they are for enduring and such... (My mom told me that labor and the actual giving birth is TEN TIMES more painful than having cramps. Her storytelling gave me goosebumps and even had me clutching on my stomach. :/) Can you add endearing moments too??? Congrats on your 500 and ongoing followers on your blog as well! (^_^)

Ooohh yeah I’ve been told that too (the pain of childbirth) by one of my teachers back in high school :o

Since we’re already in the topic of childbirth, might as well add a bonus XD And as a result, I wrote a pretty long one XD

And Thank you! :D

When their S/O Gives Birth (+ Holding their Newborn Kid for the First Time) (Chocobros)

Keep reading


Random Characters Best Quotes  »  Zeke | Ezekiel Figuero

“Uh, I wrote a speech… But who’s got time for all that, right? So, I’m gonna just riff this. The – The super-cool Persian poet Rumi once wrote: “Where there’s ruin, there’s hope for a treasure.” Now, the other day I was up on 183rd, and this rich lady called it “taki,” man. But I talked to my man Tracy from 168th. And he said, “Listen for the voice of the ghetto.” ‘Cause it crashes down on you when you least expect it. Even from the cats that stay high… on 149th Street. Now, I could daze. Or doze off, or talk about the comets in the sky. Or how quick they fly by. Or I could listen. And say, we’re a team. And as a crew or a squad… we work together like Moses did… to help his people.”

The Bet (Thomas x reader, modern Au)

I apologize in advance for all the trippy stuff you are about to read. This is why I shouldn’t write at 2 in the morning…

tw: swearing, unwanted advances, feathers, public humiliation, donating blood, needles, loosing bets

You were pacing around the room watching your boyfriend Thomas Jefferson, the man who is afraid of literally NOTHING, sit on your couch traumatized. In a chicken costume.

“So let me get this straight…the man MOONED you?!?”

Thomas shuddered, picturing it and slowly nodded. 

“How the actual hell did you get yourself into this big of a mess?” you yelled in disbelief.

He looked up at you and patted the spot beside him, motioning for you to sit down.

He begun in a low voice. “It all started the day Alex and I got in an argument over who was manlier…”


“Jefferson, both of us know that you’re a scaredy cat when it comes to injury” Hamilton taunted.

“Hamilton, you should address yourself the next time you make that statement!” Thomas retorted starting to get into Hamilton’s face. 

“Bullshit! I almost died in the trench when you were off getting high with the French!”

“And WHO wrote the declaration of independence leading to our freedom?!?”

“Hamilton, Jefferson, calm down,” Burr said stepping in between them.

“Since I know the two of you won’t stop arguing with each other about this silliness, how about we resolved this the good old fashioned way?”

“A DUEL!” Hamilton yelled with excitement causing a strange look from Burr.

“I was thinking more along the lines of a bet,” Burr responded. “Let’s see…we need blood donors for people in the hospital right now. So maybe, the challenge could be to donate blood. Since you’re arguing over injury and the sorts.”

“And whoever looses has to publicly humiliate themselves.” Jefferson exclaimed glaring at Hamilton. He was starting to feel queasy. But he couldn’t give this up now.

“By wearing a chicken costume for a day because they’re a chicken,” Hamilton added, feeling sick as well. “And Burr, you should come to make sure the other person doesn’t cheat.”

“Alright. So now you two have to shake on it.”

So they did.

“Jefferson, I can’t wait to get so many videos of you like the chicken you are,” Hamilton gloated.

“Like I’m the one who’s gonna loose, pfft. We both know it’s you.”

Hamilton then preceded to flip him the bird and storm off while Jefferson stuck his tongue out. 

Time skip

Both Hamilton and Jefferson had lost the bet. They had gotten into their rooms with their phlebotomist when, almost like clockwork, they both got up at the same time and sprinted out of their rooms. Thomas ended up running into the bathroom, while Hamilton bolted all the way out the building, almost into oncoming traffic. 

They tried to agree to break the deal off, but Burr, who they sent to check one another, (and being the troll he is) forced them both to go through with the deal.

And here they were, both looking utterly ridiculous and unhappy being the laughing stock of the office. Even Washington cracked a smile at the ridiculous site of the flamboyant feathers contrasted with their glares of doom. At least they hadn’t been forced to go out into the world like this…yet.  

Then, Burr showed up. And reminded them in front of the whole office that the humiliation was supposed to be public. And then they had everyone pushing them outside. 

At first it was fine. They just got a few weird glares. This is New York City after all. But the closer they got to time square, the more people began to recognize them. And laugh. And pull out their cameras. They had people chasing them down in all directions to take pictures or merely to poke fun at the two men who were always seen as serious and stoic in comedic chicken costumes.

Thomas pushed his way out of the crowd with a grimace and began to run as he made a beak for it. He noticed people looking like they might come after him. Shit!

After running for a bit, he found an old bar with an open sign that looked pretty much abandoned. Hopefully no one would recognize him. He walked in the see just a few people in there since it was pretty early for drinks. There were just a couple people sleeping or drunk. He booked it to the back of the room and sat at the table to wait for the mob to pass. 

It was fine for about thirty minutes until a clearly drunk man walked up to him.

Thomas sighed knowing his luck could only last for so long. “Please, sir. I do not want any trouble. Don’t take a picture and just leave me alone.”

“But what is a pretty chicken like you doing here all on your own,” the man slurred and winked at Thomas.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying we could take this back to my place-”

“I do not need this right now. Just go sit over there and sleep or something okay?”

“So you need a little convincing eh?” The man turned around and pulled off his pants just enough to moon Jefferson. The details were so gruesome they cant even be described in this flashback. 

At that point, Thomas’s eyes went wide as the bar tender yelled at the man to put him pants back on. He sprinted out of there faster than Usain Bolt could wish to. Your apartment was about ten blocks away from where he was at the time (which was much closer than where he lived) so that’s where he headed.

*present time*

“HOLY SHIT! That’s one hell of a story.”

“I ran into a wall to see if this was a nightmare, but now my face hurts.”

“You want me to kiss it and make it feel better?” you tried to joke. Instead, he gave you a glazed-over look of confusion. You shrugged it off.“Okay, then. Look, shit happens and that’s okay. Just next time, don’t make a bet you know you can’t hold up.”

“But I couldn’t let Hamilton win!” he whined in response. 

“You are literally acting like a small child Jefferson, I swear.”

“ (Y/n), hold me.” you leaned your head against his shoulder and wrap your arms around him.

After a few minuted he shifted his head to look at you.

“You make me feel better already, (Y/n)”

“I know, you dumbass.”

“I’ll take you up on that kiss now”

“Just take that mass of feathers off first!”

Adrienne sat down as her hands moved along the piano. Without thinking it twice she started playing one of the songs she had wrote during her last breakup. It was the beginning of writing music that were close to her in a personal level absolutely no one would ever understand. “ It’s a shame, you’re the blame cause once you owned my heart. I remember feeling so high but I’m right back at the start. I still feel loved when I see your face but all these tears I can’t erase. Sorry heart, I’m sorry heart but we’ll have to start again.” The blonde closed her eyes to avoid tears to spill over her eyes, there was a reason why they never really performed this song.

The Signs as Shit My Creative Writing Proff Has Said

Aries: “I was doing theater until I realized I was really poor”

Taurus: “I read my first book when I was 22 years old”

Gemini: “What do I do outside work? Get phone calls from God”

Cancer: “I don’t know whether to read his poems or smoke them”

Leo: “It’s pretty hot in here. Does anyone have a fire extinguisher?”

Virgo: “Yo is anybody high right now? If so you better get cause I’m about to blow your fuckin’ minds”

Libra: “At least I’M having fun, damn it”

Scorpio: “I once wrote this poem called wordplay for foreplay”

Sagittarius: “That involved alcohol and I’m never doing it again”

Capricorn: “Your eyes are like crystal blue meth that Walter White made”

Aquarius: “If everybody reads, I’ll bring a bottle of tequila to the next class”

Pisces: “You little piece of shiiiiiit~ Fuck youuuu~!”

“Can you just shut up?!” - Tristan x MacCready (First PoV)

Note: I wrote this about a year ago, but I want to get this story up cause this was the first time that I, wrote in a male PoV and was writing about Tristan. This is when I was first fleshing out Tristan as a character and when I wrote this I was proud. I hope you guys liked it, even though it’s kind of cheesy and really bad. XD


After my father died, I tried my best to be just like him, to continue making him proud like I had when I was in high school. Though watching him die was hard, arriving to my mother, battered and bruised, to tell her about his death was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Especially since it was so soon after the birth of my brother, but even when I tried my best to keep my head on my shoulders, I always lost it from time to time.

This was one of those times. MacCready was saying something, I think he was talking about something with my highscore on my pipboy, and I felt this burning in the back of my mind. My thoughts were literally screaming and no matter how hard I tried to focus on the power armor before me the burning and the screaming wouldn’t stop. The guilt was eating me alive and I just couldn’t hold it back.

I had lost the wooden soldier somewhere out in the woods and I seriously wanted to shoot myself when I discovered it’s absence in my jacket pocket. I lost the most precious thing to MacCready and I couldn’t bare to look at him in the eye. How could I lose something like that? Seriously, what the hell was I thinking? The noise continued to rise and MacCready’s boasting wasn’t helping and finally the burning began to boil and it just popped.

With no control over my own body, I spun to face MacCready and hollered in a voice that didn’t even seem to belong to me. “Can you shut up!?” The hurt look on his face broke my heart as I processed what I had just done. I looked away wanting to disappear right then and there. Just what the hell was I mad at him for? He should be the one yelling at me? Except, I didn’t tell him. He didn’t know. “Sorry.” I breathed out, gaining my self control. “I need some air, I’ll be back.” Grabbing my coat, MacCready didn’t try to stop me too shocked at my sudden outburst. I didn’t blame him though, it was very rare that I lost my cool.

Stepping outside, I walked away from the Red Rocket and into the woods, pulling out the mini flashlight that I had stashed in my pocket and looked for the toy soldier again. I wasn’t going to rest until it was back in my safety and unharmed, I owed MacCready that at least. I just continued to walk and walk and walk, not even looking back or contemplating on going back. There was no back until this toy soldier had been found.

The last place I remember it to be was near the flooded mine after we had reported back to a settlement, we went straight from there so it couldn’t be too far and there aren’t many animals between here and there, but just in case, I had my pistol tucked under my pants in the back. Besides, no animal would be curious about a toy soldier right?

Well, I was right, but at the same time I was wrong. Halfway to the flooded mine, I happened to find the toy soldier. Instinctively I cheered, only for it to be greet by a loud menacing roar that made my heart sink. I was prepared to fight mirelurks, bugs, and molerats, but not a Deathclaw.

It came at me and I fired a few shots before retreating not really paying any attention to my direction. The Deathclaw took a few swings but they missed me by inches and I took a few shots, only to eventually run out of bullets. I tried to think fast, conjuring up a plan attempting to outsmart it, but before I could put it into action, it swung down once more and got me in the side. It’s claws tore through the skin like it was water and the pain ran up my side and up my back. I hit the ground hard and the gash burned as dirt, leaves, and twigs go in it. Rolling to a stop, my vision was blurry from the pain, but I could see the Deathclaw over me, holding it’s claw over me for one final strike.

I didn’t give it the chance as I pushed my self out of the way and used the momentum to stumble back up, holding my side as best as I could. The pain was coming in stronger and I knew that if I didn’t do something quick, I would be killed, but at the same time I hesitated because if I wasn’t smart about my plan I would die anyways. That’s when the words of my father came out loud and clear.

“Son, there are moments where we get a choice of how we die. Choose wisely, my son, because you only die once.”

With a new conviction, I turned sharply back around and headed back to the Deathclaw. Running as hard as I could, I watched as it held up one of it’s claws and as it swung down towards me, I dodged it within milimeters and continued running, smiling as I heard the Deathclaw struggle to turn back around. I looked over my shoulder and saw it slid a bit, gaining a bit of distance between the both of us. “Now all I need to do is lead it to the flooded mine and get it to fall in,” That was my plan at least, all I had to do was survive until then and not bleed out. Except, nothing ever goes according to plan.

When I looked back, the Deathclaw was gone and I stopped in my tracks, trying to look for it. It couldn’t have just disappeared. So many scenarios played in my head and none of them were good. Treading carefully, I began to taunt it, hoping that it was still out there somewhere, but it was just dead silence. My heart pounded in my ears and I began to run back again. That was the stupidest mistake I ever made in my life.

The Deathclaw  ambushed me in a manner of seconds striking me in the chest area, going for my heart. I laid on the ground, completely dazed and losing a lot of blood. In my hand, the wooden soldier grew sticky and I prayed that it wouldn’t rot away. With what I could make out, the Deathclaw posed for one finally strike, one more swing of it’s claws, and the last thing that I thought about was MacCready and just how guilty I felt knowing that my last words to MacCready would be the fact that I told him to shut up.

A gunshot sounded through the air and the Deathclaw fell hard to the ground and a presence appeared beside me. “Damnit, Tristan.” The sound of MacCready’s voice brought a small bit of relief in my chest as he placed his hands against the wounds on my body. “What the hell were you thinking going up against a Deathclaw you bloody bastard?!”

A dry laugh passed my lips and I lifted my arm to reveal the wooden soldier in my hand, blood stains decorated it’s wood. “I found it.”

MacCready’s breathe hitched slightly and I could feel his hands tremble against my chest. “You idiot,” His voice was harsh yet laced with concern, he said a few more other things, but I didn’t hear any of them as I fell deeper into unconsciousness.
I opened my eyes to a familiar hand in my own and the soft breathing that belong to the one and only, MacCready. Sitting up slightly, a sharp pain ran up my entire body, their origins coming from the left side of my chest and my right side. “Shit,” I hissed a bit not noticing how MacCready began to stir awake. “I feel like I’ve made love to a Deathclaw.”

“Not quite,” MacCready spoke up causing me to jump a little. “But you were getting your ass kicked.” I rolled my eyes, but ultimately froze as I felt his hands against my chest once more. His touch was soft and he looked like he hadn’t slept well in days. “Just what were you thinking going out there on you own, just to retrieve a simple trinket?”

I watched his eyes and noticed the painful look as he called the wooden soldier a trinket. He couldn’t even look me in the eye as he said that. “Don’t pull that bullshit with me, Mac, that wooden soldier is the last thing that you have of Lucy. I wasn’t going to let it be lost, I didn’t care if I had lost my life as long as I got that back.”

MacCready stood up and glared at him, the chair falling back hard to the ground. “What about me?! Don’t you think I care about what happens to you?!”

My mouth remains closed as I thought upon his words. I had forgotten what it felt like to have someone care about you, even if deep down I knew, I never felt like I deserved it. Especially after what happened with my father and my best friend’s death, both because I had been there.

A pair of small thin arms wrap around me and MacCready buries his face in my neck, giving it a small kiss. “You’re a bloody bastard, I hope you know that.” I only let out a dry laugh and wrapped my own arms around him as tightly as I could.

“I love you,” I said absentmindedly, feeling fresh tears brim around the edge of my eyes.

MacCready’s grip tightens. “I love you, too, you big idiot.”

I Love to Hate You

TITLE: I Love To Hate You


AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki and you dislike each other, but you are forced into an arranged marriage and as time goes by, it barely gets better. It seems to be a marriage that will hardly be amiable but certain events causes Loki to be the husband you never thought he could be.


The funeral was a lavish affair; Eoin had been well respected among his own realm and others for his care for his people. Diplomats and royalty came from the Nine Realms while the people of Vanaheim lowered their work tools for three days and stood along the streets, their heads bowed as his body was brought to the royal tomb on the mountain near the city to be laid to rest.

Loki’s family rushed to their close allies sides for the affair, Frigga assisting Tatiana, who understandably felt lost without her husband, Odin and Thor assisted in keeping Mikhail in line, if just for the funeral itself, while Loki simply remained dutifully by Alexandra’s side.

Since her snapping at him about her getting rest, she had not spoken to him; she ignored him completely, as though he was not there. When his family came to give her their condolences, she was polite and spoke a little with them all, but not with Loki.

Keep reading


          He would’ve looked more at home on a stage – in a stadium filled with a thousand people, but instead it was an after party. There weren’t many people, only about twenty five dotted around his penthouse, everybody was chatting complete and utter bullshit, fucked up, high, but Jimmy, Jimmy had done something he only ever did when he was fucked up – whipped out his guitar. 

          Jimmy was stood, tie loosened around his neck, giving it his absolute all. Some people were paying attention, but this had became such a regular occurrence that Jimmy putting on an impromptu show that it had blended into the backdrop for the regulars at Jimmy’s infamous after-parties. “– And all I want, is to sing you a million songs, but I know I can’t ‘cause I’ll get the words wrong. So I just wrote one, yeah!” He began to tap his foot on top of the coffee table to provide make-shift drums. 

          “Doesn’t matter where you’re from, it’s in my heart that you belong, doesn’t matter, no.” The tapping increased, the tempo sped up. “Ooooooooh, oooooooh, and when we go to bed to rest our weary heads, I know what I will find when your chest is pressed to mine, our hearts, our hearts, our hearts will be beaten in time—.” The tempo slowed as he sang, but as he stopped it sped back up again, until finally, finally the crescendo hit home – he jumped up, put his foot clean through the coffee table, shattering the glass and caught all the drinks to be strewn across the floor, Jimmy himself becoming soaked as he strummed mercilessly.

Goodbye YouTube - sad Phan one shot

AN: Hi reader! This is my first ever Phan one shot. It might not be great, I wrote it when bored. I’m hoping to write some more, so feel free to give me prompts and requests :) this ones not quite finished yet, I might post a part 2.

Warning: this is really sad, and may cause an extreme case of feels/want to rip heart out.

The heart monitor beeped steadily, the rhythm Phil had soon grown used to, sick of even. He knew the repeating high pitched noise was a good thing, he just wished he didn’t need to hear it. The sound of the ventilator also on the list of noises he wishes he didn’t need to hear. All he wanted to hear was some random anime wittering in Japanese and the odd siren every so often, he wanted to be in his apartment, with Dan. He wanted to go home. Sadly, he knew he never would again. He knew what was coming, and he was scared. Phil was never one to deny the obvious, there was nothing that could be done to stop it so Phil just learned to accept it. Dan, on the other hand, was struggling. He couldn’t get his head around something so tragic, it was more due to the fact that he was going to loose the one person he ever loved. Phil hated how upset Dan was about the whole ordeal, he never though what started out as a chest infection could cause so much pain. It was often hard for either Dan or Phil to even say the words. Cancer, lung cancer to be exact. When they found out, Phil had to comfort Dan more than the other way around. Dan has always been more vocal and expressive with his emotions than Phil, he cried for hours and hours the day they heard the news. Phil barely even said a word for days, just hugged Dan to his chest and kept on muttering “It’ll be okay” even though he knew it was a lie. The first time Phil broke down was two weeks later, he was in the shower…


Dan was walked into the house, he’d just been out to buy some milk for Phil’s cereal. He walked up the first flight of stairs and heard an odd sound. Mixed in with the sound of the shower water battering the bottom of the bath, Dan heard the sound of his partners’s wails. He ran straight into the room, to be met with a sight that broke his fragile heart. Phil was sat on the floor of the bath, water hitting the pale skin of his naked back, he had his knees up to his chest, his head lay atop his knees while he cried. Dan instantly dropped the milk and ran over to Phil’s shaking body, he pushed himself into the wet shower and sat behind his boyfriend, so that Phil was sat between his long, jean clad, legs. Dan pulled Phil to his chest, much like Phil had been doing for himself in the previous weeks, and kissed his sodding wet forehead. Phil couldn’t stop crying or shaking, he clung tightly to Dan’s black T-shirt, his tears soaking it along with the shower water.

“Shh baby, shh” Dan whispered to Phil, Dan’s heart was breaking. Phil seemed to be coping so well and now he had crashed and he didn’t know what to do.

“I’m going to die Dan” Phil whispered in a shaky wail, one which took a long breath to complete. Dan’s heart broke, into a million tiny pieces. It killed him inside to hear his love say such a thing. He couldn’t bring himself to believe it, and the worst thing was, Phil knew. Phil knew what was going to happen and Dan was powerless to stop it. It was infuriating. All Dan wanted was to help his love and he couldn’t. A tear rolled down from Dan’s eye mixing in with the still pouring shower water. He was about to just hold Phil and cry with him when he realised something. Phil had been put on a portable ventilator that supplied him with oxygen, because he couldn’t respire fully in his own. And Dan didn’t know how long he’s been away from his oxygen supply, if it was too long, it could be catastrophic.

“Phil, how long have you been off your ventilator?” He asked cautiously, still holding his partner tightly. Phil was audibly wheezing now, he couldn’t even answer, Dan was terrified. His crying would not have helped his breathing in the slightest, he probably couldn’t breath! So without another word Dan stood and carefully picked up a still naked Phil, who was wheezing much worse now. He quickly carried him up the stairs and laid him on their shared bed in what was Phil’s room. He lay Phil on his back and covered him with a blanket, before quickly rushing back off to grab his ventilator. He was back within seconds and put Phil’s nose tube around his head and turned on his oxygen supply. Now Dan could calm slightly, he sat at the other side of Phil’s bed and stroked his wet hair out of his face while he regained what little breathing he could.

“Thank… You…” Phil got out between big wheezy breaths, Dan kissed his head.

“Don’t scare me like that Phil” Dan pleaded, sounding helpless. He wiped away Phil’s tears, and then his own.

“I’m… Sorry…” Phil was now on his side, taking in large breaths. Dan shuffled downwards so that he was directly behind Phil, in a spooning position, he held him close and kissed his neck and whispered in his ear.

“You don’t need to be sorry Phil, you’re allowed to be scared, you’re allowed to cry, you’re allowed to be upset. I don’t mind because I’m going to be there for you every single step of the way, because I love you. And I want you to be happy. I love you so much, Phil” Dan kissed Phil’s cheek again to find that his beautiful lover was fast asleep in his arms…


3 months have passed since that night, and now here Phil is, laying in a hospital bed. Knowing there wasn’t long left. Dan was asleep in a chair to his right, Phil smiled. He may have been sleep deprived and a little dirty from being in the hospital for days, but Phil thought that Dan was beautiful, fast asleep with his hobbit hair flopping over one eye and his lips jutted out in a slight adorable pout. Phil felt so lucky to have had him in his life, he wouldn’t change Dan for the world, he had never loved a person more. Phil’s smile was broke with a cough, it was quite violent, it instantly woke Dan up in alarm.

“Phil?” He asked in panic, eyes wide as he watched Phil cough quite violently. The coughs died down, and Phil fell backwards into his pillows, he was gasping for breath.

“I’m alright… Just a… Cough” he managed to get out between wheezy breaths.

“You gave me fright” Dan said with a sigh, placing his hand to his chest with a smile. “Nearly shat myself” he laughed a little, trying to make light of the situation. That’s how he had been dealing for the last few months, humour. Dan found that Phil has been having more trouble than he had let on, so he constantly tried to make him happy. He tried to make him laugh and smile as that seemed to help Phil a lot. So much so he smiled after his coughing fit, purely at Dan’s stupidness, if nothing else. He loved that tool.

“Please don’t shit yourself in the hospital… You’ll get taken away to a different unit” Phil giggled a little at his own joke, making Dan smile. Phil’s laughed died down slightly, he turned to Dan in utter seriousness. Phil took Dan’s hand into his, instantly Dan took Phil’s one hand into the both of his. “Dan I-I want you to do something for me…”

“Anything Phil” Dan smiled.

“D-Dan, I want you to make a video, on my channel, about everything” Phil’s sleep deprived, weathered face showed every ounce of seriousness. Dan was slightly confused, but willing, so Phil continued with a nod from Dan “I want all the fans to know, about you and I, about the cancer, and I want them to know that I love them and to say thank you for everything they’ve done for me. As without YouTube I wouldn’t have you, I wouldn’t have had this amazing life.” Phil took a big breath in before carrying on “I want it to be my goodbye from YouTube, and a thank you for everything that it gave me. But I mostly want them to know about us, about everything we’ve been through. Will you please Dan? I don’t want to leave this world without them knowing about the light of my life” by this point tears were freely flowing from both young men’s eyes. Dan nodded, kissed his and Phil’s connected hands.

“Of course I will Phil” he offered Phil a light smile. And Phil copied, before his eyes closed and he drifted into a deep sleep. Dan kissed his forehead, grabbed his backpack, quickly wrote Phil a little note letting him know that he was going off to film the video, and left the hospital for the first time in 2 and a ½ weeks, since Phil was admitted. He reached home relatively quickly, where he showered, dressed himself quickly and made himself look as decent as a man who’d had barely 5 full nights of sleep in almost 3 weeks could. He put on his best smile and sat before the rolling camera, on Phil’s bed.

“Hey guys” It felt odd to be saying that “so I’m guessing you’re all really confused as to why I’m on Phil’s channel, well we’ve got something important to tell you. And sadly, Phil couldn’t make the video…” Dan had to stop for a second to take a breath in, he could already feel his throat clogging slightly and his eyes clouding “you see, the thing is” another pause “Phil, P-Phil is s-sick” Dan was now stuttering over his words, he was struggling, anyone could see “and he’s not going to get better” that was when the first tears fell, he wiped them away and sniffed. Trying to compose himself so he could continue. “He, he asked me to make this video to tell you a few things. Things you probably should have been told a long time ago” another breath “Phil and I, you were all right, we are together. Have been since a week after we met… And he wanted you guys to know that before… Before” more tears fell and Dan struggled to keep himself composed. “You know” Dan looked up, a tearful smile.

“He wanted you to know, how infatuated we are with each other. We love each more than it is able to love another human being. I can’t honesty say that even though these last few months have been the hardest of my life, they’ve also been some of the most beautiful as I’ve fallen more in love with my beautiful husband every single day. And yes, you did hear that right, husband. We married earlier this year in Japan. It was beautiful and I will put a clip of the wedding at the end of this video” Dan smiled at the memories “we were so happy” Dan’s smile fades slightly, he looked to the floor, sadness taking over him. But he couldn’t let it take him, he’d promised Phil. “Phil also wanted me to say a massive, thank you… To you, each and every one of you. All of you who watch his videos and all of you who have supported him. He told me that thanks to you, you gave him such an amazing life. You guys, and YouTube brought us together and for that I say thank you. We both love you both so much. I wish I could personally thank every single one of you for each and every like and comment and view. You made my Phil smile and for that I love you just as much, if not more than, he does. So thank you…” Tears now freely flowed down Dan’s cheeks, but he was smiling. He meant every word he had said.

“I would explain to you the details of what’s wrong with Phil. But to me nothing is wrong with him, he’s perfect. I’ll link you to the type of… ” Dan gulped “l-lung cancer, h-he’s got… Because I don’t think that I could get through it…” Dan wiped his tears away again and smiled slightly at the camera. “I’m not going to lie to you guys. He’s not going to make another video, Phil, is really sick. And h-he…” Dan, had to again take another deep breath, fully crying now “he’s not going to last much longer” Dan was literally weeping now, he wouldn’t even compose himself to speak any more.

“So from Phil, bye bye YouTube. He loves you” Dan sniffed and waved, before turning the camera off. He took 2 deep breaths before any composure he had left, was gone.


28.06.16 (68-69/100 days of productivity)

It all started when I was feeling really unwell, with all the coughing, feeling feverish and runny nose, and I moaned to my father saying that I really needed to go the doctor. He immediately took me, and the doctor prescribed some medicine that I have to pick up at the nearest Pharmacy. During my wait, I saw two things that made me rethink MY LIFE.

This first picture,what did I see?

  1. To me they’re either family or friends or just straight out acquaintances.
  2. They didn’t have shoes on their soles.
  3. They’re picking in the garbage with a long metal hook.
  4. They were smiling at each other
  5. It’s night time.
  6. They’re girls.

That is no recycling bin. It has people’s leftovers, pads, tissues, wasted paper and other shit.

I’m a girl myself, and I wouldn’t be allowed outside the house, at night with no trusted male company aka my dad, because it’s fucking dangerous. 

I looked at these two and I cried, even writing this was hard without shedding any tears.

I come from a family who can afford basic education, medical assistance, going abroad for vacation, personal transportation, smartphones, have our own house, my own room, electricity, a comfortable bed, various comfortable clothes and shoes. This is what us, the fortunate, have. Yet, we wanted more.

I feel so fucking ashamed for whining that I was unwell. I was so blinded in my own personal shitty unimportant problems that I never really opened my eyes and looked around me.

What if they were sick? Most of us must know how it feels to be sick, it’s uncomfortable, we think stuff like “what if I die?”. But what about them? My guess is that the only thing crossing their minds is “How am I going to survive?

They could be amazing people making changes to the world. But they couldn’t afford education and they’ve come to believe that this was the only thing they could do with their lives.

Look at me, when I was in high school:

  • I sleep in class sometimes
  • I laughed and made fun of my own score once which was a 0 in physics
  • I chat during class sometimes.
  • I felt enraged with studying that I wanted to rip my textbook 
  • I procrastinated a lot
  • and many more failures that my ancestors would frown upon…

If these two young girls were given a chance at receiving education, I am 1000% sure that they would not be as uncaring as I was in school.

I am an idiot, who was given so much in life, yet I never exactly treasured them well.


I had the privilege to sit in a car, it may not be one of high class, but it was still a car, while it was starting to drizzle outside. And there was this man, knocking on people’s windows asking them to buy his shrimp crackers.

I said “tidak, makasih (no, thank you)” to him and saw his face fell but only for a millisecond than he smiled again and waved to me. That gesture clenched my heart.

Imagine him as your dad. I did, and had to bawl again which looked ridiculous from the outside of the car, but if they only knew.

I imagined my dad waking up every morning to get ready to walk on the streets for a whole day hoping that someone would be interested in his shrimp crackers. Crackers stacked up high, walking under the sun with only a bottle of water, frowning when it was raining, cause that would mean that he couldn’t walk out there to seek out buyers and he didn’t want to get sick because he knew that I needed him. He wanted me to have a an education, he wanted me to have a bright future, he wanted me to live well-off, he sacrificed his own happiness to see me happy.

Let’s just assume that what I wrote above was truly his background. If I was his daughter, and I acted like the me in the present, think of the disappointment in his heart.

I am thoroughly disappointed in myself.

Why in the flying fuck did I deserve to have such a comfortable life? Some of you might say, “Well it’s life?” or “You were blessed!”

Well then, I’m unconsciously throwing my blessings from the top of Mount Everest and into the Mariana Trench with an anchor and I’m a bloody fool for doing that.

Remember when I said that the people I mentioned above were still smiling? And here I am frowning that my laptop was slow.

They kept on being positive for each other and themselves, trusting and showing the others that they believe in a better tomorrow.

And here we are hating on others and dragging each other down.

They knew they had nothing, so they cherished and made the most out of the things they have. We have everything they wished for, yet here we are hoping that we could live like the multi-billionaires and wasting stuff.

I’m not saying that being wealthy is a bad thing, it’s a good thing if you use your money or power on the right purposes. 

My point in this post is, I never get to realize how un-freaking-believable fortunate I was. It took me 19 years to realize that. I may have easily graduated from high school and get into university, but what I saw and felt today made me feel like a stupid, spoilt, selfish brat.

And I don’t want to live like this forever, unaware of my surroundings. I want to change for the better. I want to show my dad, who grew up as a farmer throughout elementary and junior high, took several jobs while he attended a night vocational school and was kicked out because he couldn’t pay the fee on time and who ended up as an entrepreneur and gave me such a nice life, that his tears and blood that were spilled to come to this high point of his life were not in vain.

I promise that I’m going to try harder.

I promise to never go back on this promise.

And I want to fucking apologize to my dad, for all the bratty things I’ve ever said or done.

I’m not trying to gain anything but awareness of where we are now.

I just hope some of you could understand what I felt and if you were like me, change for the better, but if you were better than what I was, I respect you, older or younger.