cause he is

i keep thinking about how you were the first man i trusted in years. the first one i confided in about the others, 3, 4, 5 times my age when it began; some only twice my age when it ended. i was vulnerable and i just wanted to be loved. and you took that and wrung me dry of all i’d felt for you in the beginning until i am myself today: guarded and resentful of love, and further traumatized.

here’s what i know about the club from my dream:

  • it’s called The Girl’s Club, but boys can join as well so idk
  • they communicate through finger spelling with some of their own weird modifications, and they call this The Girl’s Club Code
  • they also flash lights to communicate from house to house
  • only one Girl’s Club member per household!
  • Girl’s Club members have access to a secret list of job openings
  • members must also host parties at their house from time to time
  • all members take shifts tailing random people in the neighborhood, for no real reason
  • mostly this means following soccer moms and varsity football players to the grocery store
  • it’s a secret club. i went to a friend’s house and she was like “oh for fuck’s sake, my little sister is in this stupid club and she said there were no nearby members but she’s been blinking a flashlight out the window at the neighbor, can you find out who else is in this?” which is what kicked off my entire investigation.
  • i desperately wanted to join
3

and you call yourself a spy Natasha

8

Congratulations to Michael Phelps on his 21st gold medal and overall 25th Olympic medal!