cause all i ever do is eat


~ Jimin Leading You On ~ PART SEVEN 

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 8]

It was the day after you hung out with Yoongi and you were still so overwhelmed. You sat on your sofa, staring at your phone in anticipation. Why did he have to kiss you? You knew you had some sort of attraction towards him, but now? Now your heart raced at even the thought of him! 

Why was Yoongi taking so long to answer, anyway? 

“Now, don’t tell me you can somehow mess up brownies?” You asked, taking the ingredients out of the fridge.

“Shut up,” Yoongi laughed. Like, actually, laughed. His eyes crinkled slightly and you saw his cute gummy smile the boys teased him about.

You two handed each other ingredients and stirred them into mixing bowls. While you stirred the wet ingredients, Yoongi stirred the dry. Looking toward him to see how he was doing, you stifled a laugh. 

“I might’ve gotten some on me…” He trailed off, looking down at his powdered clothes.

Letting out a laugh, you walked over to him and patted his chest. That only caused a poof of flour to blow up from his chest leaving you both in coughing fits, all the while you laughed.

“Why am I the one who always ends up being a mess?” Yoongi whined, pouting his lips and with sad eyes. 

After finishing mixing the ingredients, you placed them into a pan and put it into the preheated oven.

“Now, we wait,” You sighed, both of you walking to the living room.

“So, you’ve come to your conclusion?” Yoongi blurted, nonchalantly, picking his phone up from the coffee table.


“About Jimin? You said there’s something…holding you back?”

Looking away from his curious gaze, you shrugged. “I thought so but I still don’t know how I feel.”

“You know, I may act cold around everyone, but…you can to turn to me if ever in need. Just know that,” Yoongi spoke, sternly, and you looked at him in surprise. 

“Thanks. I appreciate that,” you sent a warm smile which he, genuinely, returned. “Now, I think we need better hangout ideas. All we’ve been doing is eating and watching movies…”

“What’s wrong with that? Definitely beats going outside,” Yoongi retorted, with a laugh. 

“Ha ha,” You rolled your eyes, a playful smile painting your lips.

“Scooch over,” You lightly pushed Yoongi’s leg from being sprawled over the couch, causing them to slide of onto the floor. 

“How much longer?” He yawned.

“Twenty minutes or so? We could get take out if you don’t want to wait and––” You were cut off by the soft sounds of snoring. Turning your head, you saw Yoongi’s head leaned back, mouth hung open, asleep. “Gee, thanks,” you muttered sarcastically, although you knew he wouldn’t answer. 

Twenty minutes passed and you took the brownies out of the oven. Cutting them up, you grabbed one and headed back to the couch. 

“They’re ready,” You mumbled, with a mouth full of brownie. 

“What is that smell?”

“It’s delicious!”

“Did you bake, Y/N?”

“Can I have one?”

“Me too!”

“Save one for me!”

Six boys tumbled out of their rooms and raced toward the kitchen. Before you could protest, they stuffed one in their mouths and ran back to their rooms. Looking back at the plate filled with brownies, you groaned when you saw that the boys hadn’t left any for Yoongi. He was going to be pissed.

“They’re ready?” He opened his eyes and slowly sat up. Looking back down at the brownie you took only one bite of, you held it out for Yoongi. 

“The boys kind of took them all. Have mine,” you waved the brownie around his face. Pouting, he shook his head. “I’d rather just punch them than steal yours.”

“Just eat the brownie,” You rolled your eyes.

 Sighing, he leaned over and took a bite out of the brownie in your hand. “Mm, that’s good! We made that?” He queried, with a mouth full. 

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“Because I can’t cook! At least, not as well as Jin.”

“Damn, right!” You heard from down the hall. Laughing, you took another bite of the brownie you were sharing. 

You and Yoongi lounged around, one of the boys coming in ever so often, laughing nervously when Yoongi glared at them. 

“It’s late. I should get home,” you checked your watch. 

“Damn, you’re right. Let me walk you back since it’s dark.” This time you didn’t protest.

Arriving in front of your apartment building, you thanked Yoongi. After a few minuted of peering at him, he looked around, uncomfortably. “Uh, Y/N? Why’re you looking at me like that?”

“Just wondering how I, out of all people, could be the reason your so soft” Throwing his head back to groan, he whined, “Y/N!”

“Sorry! Just curious, that’s all,” You shrugged.

“I just like you, slightly more than other people. Take that as a compliment,” He raised an eyebrow, causing you to grin. 

“Wow. What an honor,” You feigned shock, placing a hand over your chest. “Thanks for walking me home,” You smiled, gratefully. 

Turning to go in, a hand grabbed your wrist. You turned your head to ask what Yoongi was doing, but was cut off when he tugged you closer to him and placed his lips on yours. Your eyes widened, but didn’t push him away. Instead, you closed your eyes and leaned into him. 

Pulling away, breathless, both of your cheeks were a deep red. “Bye, Y/N,” Yoongi chuckled, softly. You were still in a daze only able to put your hand up and wave.

HERE IT ISSSS! Did you like it? 

Part 8?

B.A.P as house cats
  • Yongguk: Sleeps in your bed. The softest meow. Lies around all day doing nothing. Doesn't eat his food and if he does it's like 1 mouthful. Doesn't leave the house. Shy around visitors.
  • Himchan: Very clean, spends an hour cleaning himself. Lap cat. Naps in his cat bed but gets lonely and tries to sleep with you, but is really annoying and rolls around so you have to put him back in his bed. Grooms you and likes cuddling.
  • Daehyun: He scream. Eats all his food and wants more. Goes frolicking around outside and gets his paws muddy. Brings back gifts for you. Sleeps in inconvenient places. Clingiest lap cat ever.
  • Youngjae: Loud. Does the calm then SUDDEN HYPERACTIVITY thing. Stares at things you can't see. Sleeps ONLY in cat bed and refuses to share. Easily scared. Decides to sit on your homework or just-washed clean clothes. CLAWS.
  • Jongup: Blep. Never meows, just weird noises. Is out all day and comes home for food and bed. V gentle, no claws ever, soft paw, soft boop. Isn't that big but sounds really heavy and loud on the stairs??? Mysterious crashing sounds???? What is he doing?? Watches TV.
  • Junhong: Long cat. Weird meow. Sleeps exclusively in boxes. Interrupts what you're doing to investigate and probably causes problems. Chewing something when he hasn't been fed??? What's he eating??? Brings gifts home but doesn't show you so you go to put a shoe on and BAM there's a mouse. Always wants to play.
Read This: The Definitive Ouija Board FAQ

I get a lot of questions every day on my Ouija board advice blog, and usually they’re the same questions over and over. So instead of answering each one, I usually post a link to a post that answers their question while stating Read This. Apparently it’s become my iconic catchphrase. So here is a long post of all things I typically tell people to read.

-Ouija boards are incredibly dangerous and you should not mess with them!

~Ouija boards are very safe as long as you’re playing in the right frame of mind. Read this.

-Ouija boards are not games.

~By definition, they are. Read this.

-Can Ouija boards summon demons?

~No, read this.

-Is Zozo or Mama a dangerous spirit or demon?

~No, they are just names spirits use to scare people. Read this.

-What if I talk to Zozo and they refuse to go away?

~Keep refusing. Read this.

-Can you get possessed while playing the Ouija board?

~No, read this.

-Can Ouija boards open portals?

~Not even a little bit. Read this.

-Is it important to say Goodbye?

~Yes, but it’s not a life or death thing, it’s just polite. Read this and this.

-Can spirits escape the board and follow you home?

~Ouija boards are pieces of cardboard, therefore there is nothing “inside” of them. The spirits are already in your home. Read this.

-What happens if the planchette moves in figure-8’s, off the board, counts down the numbers, or moves to all four corners of the board?

~Nothing, the spirit is trying to scare you for their amusement. Read this.

-How do you play the Ouija board?

~Read this.

-Can I play the Ouija board by myself?

~Some people can. Read this.

-Who are spirits and where are they?

~Spirits are the souls of people who have passed on. Read this, then read this to learn about the spirit realm.

-Are shadow people dangerous?

~Shadow people are just spirits that have half-materialized, and therefore not dangerous. Read more here.

-What’s the difference between a spirit and a ghost?

~Ghosts don’t know they are dead. Read this.

-I saw spirits when I was little, but I don’t anymore. What happened?

~You got older. Read this.

-How do you make a Ouija board?

~Get a pen and paper and write one. Read this.

-How do you get rid of a Ouija board?

~However you want. Read this.

-I want to play, but I’m not allowed to, or I don’t have anyone who wants to play.

~Then you can pendulum dowse. Read this.

-Aren’t Ouija boards divination tools, and sacred to Wicca and other pagan beliefs?

~First, there’s a big difference between spirit communication and divination. And there is no belief or religion that incorporates the Ouija board. Read more here.

-Ouija boards aren’t real and are caused by Ideomotor movement.

~I bet you’ve never played before. Read this.

-Are Ouija boards safe for children?

~Sure. Read this.

-What do I do if a spirit says I’m going to die tomorrow?

~They’re lying, I assure you. Read this.

-What does it mean when the board sells out gibberish?

~Lots of things. Read this.

-Can I use the Ouija board to contact a specific person?

~I do not recommend it. Read this.

-Is it safe to play the Ouija board in my house, my friend’s house, a haunted location, or a graveyard?

~Play it wherever you want. Read this.

-Can you talk to animal spirits on the Ouija board?

~No. Read this.

-Are spirit guides real?

~Yes. Read this.

-What can I ask the Ouija board?

~Whatever you want. Read this.

-I’m scared of Ouija boards, but I want to play.

~Read this.

-I had a very bad experience while playing and therefore I want everyone to know that all Ouija boards are very bad.

~If I ate shellfish and had an allergic reaction, I wouldn’t make a blog post about how all shellfish is bad and nobody should ever eat it. Read more here.

-I have sleep paralysis and see scary things when it’s happening, is it caused by spirits?

~No, read this.

-I played the Ouija board and I woke up with a bruise, am I possessed?

~Obviously not. Read this.

-I feel like I’m being watched after I play.

~That’s you feeling adrenaline pumping in your brain. Read this*.

-The Ouija board didn’t work at all.

~There are a lot of reasons why it wouldn’t. Read this.

-Do online Ouija boards work?

~Online Ouija boards and Ouija board apps are programs that act like real Ouija boards, and will not get you in contact with a spirit. Read this.

-I saw a scary YouTube video of a Ouija board game and I believe them.

~It’s fake, I guarantee it. Read this.

-Is it safe to wear Ouija board clothes and accessories?

~Very much so. Read this.

-How do you pronounce Ouija?

-Wee-gee in America, Wee-juh in other English speaking countries. Read this.

This is just for Ouija board related asks. In a few months, I’ll post an FAQ for more pagan and spirit related stuff. In the meantime, you can check out a mini FAQ here. And hey, if you didn’t see the answer to a question you have, ask away.

*this post is currently being edited and will be added to this post presently

Les Amis as John Mulaney Quotes
  • Enjolras: One black coffee, same motherfucker
  • Courfeyrac: "She's just going through that phase where she says penis and vagina a lot" ...aren't we all
  • Combeferre: The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time
  • Feuilly: I like having a puppy that’s a bulldog, ‘cause it’s like having a baby that is also a grandma. Her body is young, her face is as old as time.
  • Bahorel: He grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground, and yelled "SCATTER!"
  • Grantaire: Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
  • Joly: One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet, and when one feels like a duck, one is happy
  • Bossuet: If you're ever on the highway behind me, I hear you honking, and I also don't want me to be doing what I'm doing
  • Jehan: This is an on fire garbage can... could be a nursery
  • Marius: I don't know. I know you told me, but I have had a very long day. I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under
  • Cosette: I think Emily Dickinson's a lesbian
  • Eponine: I'll keep all my emotions right here *gestures to self* and then one day I'll die
  • Musichetta: You know those days where you're like "this might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird"
  • -Bonus-
  • Gavroche: I like to lean in and go "stop snitchin' motherfucker" and walk off. 'Cause you're never too young to learn our national no snitching policy
  • Montparnasse: Anyone who has seen my dick and met my parents needs to die
Counting Down My 8 Favorite Movie Mean Girls

I honestly wouldn’t be the woman I am today without some of these girls. Even though they are bitchy as hell they all have self confidence and don’t give a fuck about what anyone says. My next post will be a think piece on movie mean girls so keep an eye out for that! Enjoy my favorite bitches. *SPOILERS* but I’m honestly judging you if you haven’t seen movies 6 through 1.

8. Lindsay Edgecomb (Halston Sage)

Movie: Before I Fall (2017) [Read my review for it here]

Best Line: “Are you trying out for a tampon commercial?”

Lindsay is the newest mean girl since her film was out this year but she deserved a spot. She was certainly cruel but we found out why she was so mean which makes her soft which puts her at the top of the list.

7. Madison Morgan (Bella Thorne)

Movie: The Duff (2015)

Best Line: “And then she’s all like bitch if I wanted your opinion I’d ask and I was all like bitch if I cared what you thought I’d ask. Ugh, my grandma is so annoying.”

Madison is straight up just there to make your life a living hell. Most mean girls learn their lesson at the end of films but Madison gave zero fucks the entire time. Although she could be up there with the heavyweights she isn’t as iconic as the rest of the list so I’ll let her sit pretty at number 7. 

6. Taylor Vaughan (Jodi Lyn O’Keefe)

Movie: She’s All That (1999)

Best Line: “I could win this thing in fluorescent lighting, on the first day of my period, cloaked in T.J. Max OK?”

Taylor Vaughan was your typical 90′s mean girl. All she wanted to do was win prom queen and destroy an outsider’s life. She’s overlooked and honestly she’s just an unstoppable force. You could say she’s… all.. that. HA.

5. Jennifer Check (Megan Fox)

Movie: Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Best Line: “It smells like Thai food in here. Have you guys been fucking?”

Jennifer Check is not only evil but the biggest bitch ever. The worst part is that she’s the meanest to her best friend. I mean sleeping with someones boyfriend is disgusting but eating someone’s boyfriend is unforgivable. Jennifer is number 5 cause she’s got a taste for petty and useless teenage boys. 

4. Regina George (Rachel McAdams)

Movie: Mean Girls (2004)

Best Line: “Good. So it’s settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye Jason.”

Oh Regina George so beautiful, so iconic, and sharp as a tack. She’s ruler of Northshore high and her posse even has their own name. Not only did she make mini skirts and pink cool but she even learned to be nice in the end. Although Regina was a mega bitch she changed her ways and channeled her feelings into contact sports. I know all are you are probably thinking how can such an iconic person be number 4? Well when I post the next 3 ladies you’ll see why. 

3. Kathryn Merteuil (Sarah Michelle Gellar)

Movie: Cruel Intentions (1999)

Best Line: “God forbid I exude confidence and enjoy sex.”

Kathryn is my favorite kind of bitch, rich bitch and the reigning queen of the Upper East Side. I can’t even begin to name the things that make her basically evil. She made a bet with her step brother that included sleeping with him, she ruined an innocent girl, and in the end she’s still maintaining her bad girl habits at her brothers funeral. If that’s not the definition of mean girl I don’t know what is. Blair Waldorf wishes she was her. 

2. Heather Chandler (Kim Walker)

Movie: Heathers (1988) 

Best Line: “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw do I look like Mother Teresa?”

Oh Heather C I do love thee. She was ruthless and literally was rude to everyone even her best friends. No wonder why Veronica wanted her dead. Heather literally watched Veronica puke at a college party and laughed after. I mean who wants to be friends with that? Heather started mean and she died mean too which places her on top at number 2. 

1. Courtney Shayne (Rose McGowan)

Movie: Jawbreaker (1999)

Best Line: “I killed the teen dream, deal with it.”

Oh Courtney my personal favorite. She had the hip 90′s outfits, a cool car, and a posse to follow her around. All l things you need to be Queen B. I like Courtney cause she’s great in a crisis. Someone witnesses you guys moving a dead body? Give her a makeover and make her cool. What kills me about this movie is that Courtney’s demise isn’t killing her best friend it’s turning a girl into a monster just like her. I mean to take down the best you gotta learn from the best am I right. Even when Courtney is getting screamed at at the dance she still doesn’t deny the fact that she literally killed her best friend with a jawbreaker. Courtney has the best compusure and the best lines and this is why she’s number one.

Beauty Behind Madness

Request: “HMYGOSH since I am a Pennywise trash (yeah, sorry, I’m a weird human being) I LOVE YOUR PENNY IMAGINES SO, SO, SO MUCH! Could you write something like… The reader is really unstable, she doesn’t want to exist anymore in this town, she wants to watch Derry burn, although she’s weak. Suddenly she stumbles upon Pennywise. After a pep talk she clearly sees that It understands her. I don’t know… like… fluff… (I know normally you watch out for a creepy clowns, but… LeT’s Be ClEaR hErE)”

Pairing: Pennywise x Reader

A/N: This is kind of lengthy but hopefully you all still love it

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, abusive alcoholic father and suicide attempt

Originally posted by nimrodcustard

Originally posted by 6luh

The bell rung, the school day had finally come to an end and boy were you happy. Let’s just say you were pretty popular at school, every girl wanted to be you and every guy wanted to have you. You finished putting your homework and books in your backpack when your group of four friends approached you.

“Hey Y/N you coming to the party later?” Your friend asked.

“Yeah but if anything changes I’ll let you all know.” You replied with a smile.

“Okay we’ll see you later!” Another friend said happily.

“Bye Y/N.” They all waved.

“Bye girls.” You said waving at your four friends before exiting the school.

You had only made it down the block when you noticed Henry Bowers and his group, “The Bowers Gang” messing with the Losers’ Club their rivals. You thought it was stupid. Why couldn’t Henry just leave them alone? They’re just kids for God sakes.

“Henry!” You shouted.

You caught his attention right away just like everybody else’s.

Keep reading

Why 1970s-1980s autistic girls went undiagnosed. (Opinion)


I’m going to expound on this, but sexism is at the heart of all of my ideas about why girls went undiagnosed in the earlier eras. I’m not only talking about sexism from other people, I mean the inherent sexism within societal structures and the girls internalized themselves.

Even now I struggle against my own internal mental sexism. But these attitudes were formed when I was a child. As a girl in my era, your concerns were not taken as seriously. This happens today as well. I read a study recently that said women who visit doctors, with the same symptoms as men, get taken seriously far less often. You can go Google it if you like, but it’s a thing that happens and there are multiple studies.

So when I had what we now know are sensory issues as a child, teen, and young adult, they merited an eyeroll and “Stop being so overdramatic!”. I can remember countless times I was told that things that bothered me only bothered me because I was overreacting, making a mountain out of a molehill, or “just being silly”. My experiences, as experienced by me, seemed less legitimate than my imagined experiences as believed by people like parents, teachers, and doctors. I internalized this somewhat. To the point that even now I have to fight it in my own head.

One of the best things about finding out about my autistic nature was being able to validate my own life experiences as experienced by me. Direct light really is horrible and I’m not bad for avoiding it. Wearing welder goggles to drive isn’t something I need to belittle myself for, and I should not let others tell me it’s stupid. Refusing to wear acrylic or polyester (even when gifted) isnt me being petty and rude. Giving back or refusing to eat a foodstuff I find horrid isn’t just me being an ass. Meltdowns aren’t something I’m doing *at* people cause I’m a jerk.

I realize that here on Tumblr, all these statements are like “duh. Of course”. But I want you to understand that almost every childhood experience I had with my issues made me feel like I was a petty, melodramatic, acting-out unnecessarily ass.

So why is this about sexism?

Because no man I’ve ever talked to has faced the same “overreacting drama queen” mindset, and many women have. Many men find it bizarre and absurd, much like how a white dude who has never been pulled over is shocked by how many times Trevor Noah of The Daily Show has been (many).

The experiences of women of my era were diminished. The idea that we are over-emotional by nature, tainted people’s perceptions of those of us with problems, even medical ones.

There is no reason, zero, to assume men are more inherently honest about their pain, emotions, and experiences, yet to trained medical professionals, they are assumed to be so. They are treated with more respect. This was even more true in the 1970s and 1980s than it is now.

Personal anecdote-

I have always hated melons. They have a weird aftertaste that, honestly tastes like something in vomit to me (also like cucumbers, which also make me vomit). Whenever they’re mixed with other fruits, they taint them with that melony taste. Neither my parents nor my grandparents (when they were alive) ever remembered or respected this preference. I would get eye rolls, and it would end up on my plate if I wasn’t insistent. Every year, every summer, I was asked to eat some, with people genuinely treating me as if I did not have enough self-knowledge to know I really *hated* it. Eye rolls, depreciating remarks (“You’re being ridiculous” “Don’t be so rude, just try some”) were the standard. My Gra, sweetheart though she is and quite elderly now, offered me some this year. The improvement now is that I don’t get teased about it anymore.

If my dad said he didn’t like something, it did not end up on his plate. If my husband said he didn’t like something, his parents knew and didn’t try to serve it to him. I have never been treated with the same amount of respect from the older generations as they treat the men.

I grew up in the southern, somewhat Appalachian US, and I don’t know if it’s more common there or not. I’d love to hear about other older autistic women’s experiences.

While my male peers had sensory issues, I was an overreacting female. While my male peers had social and linguistic difficulties, I was just a weird girl who nobody liked. While my male peers had “Special Interests”, I was just strangely obsessed with stuff sometimes. Every aspect of my autistic nature was belittled and minimized so I felt like a stupid woman with little self control.

I’m only self diagnosed, so my own doubts about my experience and knowledge plague me and cause me difficulties. I still have a voice in my own head saying “Maybe you’re just being overdramatic.”. My own mental voices belittle and diminish me, an inheritance from my childhood I am trying to fight. But every time I read an autistic Tumblr post or blog and think “Oh my gosh, that’s me!” It reinforces that my experiences are valid, that this diagnosis creates a framework where in my entire life makes sense. I am not stupid. I am not bad. I am autistic, and that label helps me understand myself and start to love and forgive myself and others.

Autistic Pride starts here, and it’s a route to self respect.

  • me: *rants about sudden unexplained outbreak of spots*
  • mum: *watches me eat four cookies in the space of a minute*
  • mum: yes what could possibly have caused this

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning: Swearing, things get hot?

When you and Buck just aren’t getting along, you’re ready to bail. Can he convince you with one last night to give it another chance or will you still want to go when morning comes?

@chrisevansthedoritobastard   @holahellohialoha  
@almightyunnie @imamotherfuckingstar-lord
@iwillbeinmynest  @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked
@goodnightwife @irepeldirt
@yourtropegirl  @bellejeunefillesansmerci
@buckyb-avengers  @winterboobaer
@mrhowardstark @rileyloves5
@ria132love @mystery94
@marvelfandom-stuff @tequilavet

“Y/N,” He breathes your name. You pause leaving the half filled bag resting on the open drawer, your hands on the edge of the dress as you breath in, a sob shaking your frame. “Don’t.” His voice was a plea all in its own.

“Why?” You shake your head, your hands covering your face as you attempt to control the sobs rushing from your body.

Keep reading

Conversation 16
The National
Conversation 16

i was afraid i’d eat your brains

‘cause i’m evil

i’m a confident liar

have my head in the oven so you know where i’ll be

i’ll try to be more romantic

i want to believe in everything you believe

i was less than amazing

do not know what all the troubles are for

fall asleep in your branches

you’re the only thing i ever want anymore

Headcanon #126

Hanzo had asked Jesse what was the one thing he always wanted. If it was something that he could purchase, he’d get it for the cowboy in a heartbeat.

Jesse: “Ya really wanna know?”

Hanzo: “Of course Jesse, I would love to know what it is.”

Jesse: “,,,A family.”

Hanzo: “…Pardon?”

Jesse: “It’s what I’ve always wanted. I know it’s stupid, considering that I’m too old to ask for a mom and dad. I just kinda wanted to know what it’s like being in a family. And considering us doing this line of work, there’s no time for me to even start a family. Let alone if I even live that long.”

Hanzo couldn’t really disagree with them. With all the missions they do to help protect the world, there’s no doubt that they would have the time to start a family. This was something he could not give to Jesse. Though he came up with an idea that’d just might bring comfort to the cowboy.

Hanzo: “What kind of family did you dream of?”

Jesse: “The kind where they welcome you with warm arms. The kind where there’s always a warm meal waiting for you. The kind where you can all the warm hugs you want. The kind… where they don’t make you worry about surviving the next day. The kind where you can sleep without being scared of someone being next to you. The kind where they actually want you. The kind… where… they notice you exist. The kind where… you’re their family and not a tool. That’s the kind of family I dream of.”

Hanzo: “I see… That does sound like a dream family to have… Had we met each other when were but young children. I believe my father would have adopted you on the spot. That rambunctious personality is very endearing.”

Jesse: “Oh? What do you think would happen if I barged into your family?”

Hanzo: “You wold cause nothing but mayhem with Genji. You’d eat so much of our culture’s food. I would yell and scold you for all the nonsensical crap you’d put me through. You’d help me bring Genji home from one of his drunken outings. You’d… keep me on straight path. You’d stop me from doing something foolish. And you’d…. make me fall in love with you.”

Jesse: “I would, wouldn’t I? And if your old man ever did find me, you’d think he’d keep the orphanage I lived in up and running… and keep well protected?”

Hanzo: “Yes, I know he would.”

Jesse: “Heh, thanks darlin’. The lady, who ran it, had done so much for me. It would help her out a lot…. Thanks Hanzo… I mean it… Thank you… For making me happy.”

Just a game

As a college reunion takes an unusual turn, the reader finds herself amidst a game of truth or dare not knowing of how the declaration of dare would change her life into a spiral of trouble with the mysterious clown that lives in the sewers. Now her dreams are haunted by him and she knows he loves to play…

Okay here we go. I’ve had this concept in my head for a while and now is the time to make it happen. There will be multiple parts due to the nature of it and I’m sure there will also be some smut. I hope you all enjoy and if you’re not a fan and you see this then please scroll on. I’m trying to keep out of the main It movie tags.

Autumn was approaching for the rain had already begun to fall in Derry causing an overwhelming sense of dreariness to loom over it’s citizens. But not all were miserable and grumbling over the season changes, no, some had returned to Derry for a college reunion of sorts. And that was where you came in. From a personal perspective, you liked it in Derry. The vast majority of the population were friendly enough, save for perhaps the odd miserable sod of whom hated a lot of things in life. You could never understand how anyone could be full of such hatred, and truth be told, you didn’t want to understand. You prided yourself in being positive and kind because that was what people liked about you.

The meeting point was meant to be one of the diners and so that was where you were now, sat in a booth by the window and sipping on your favourite flavour of milkshake. The rain gently pattered against the window as you scrolled through your phone, a sense of peace but slight nervousness filling your stomach. As you switched apps, something caught your eye outside the window. You lifted your head and were surprised to see a random shiny red balloon floating stiffly on it’s own. It was strange because there was no-one to hold it in place so surely it would have floated away. But it hadn’t. You needn’t dwell on it though for your thoughts were pulled from it when a hand clasped onto your shoulder vigorously and startled you.

“What the-”

“(Y/n), oh my god it’s really you!” The person cried. Their voice was oh so familiar to you and a grin pulled at your lips. You were instantly on your feet and pulling the person in for a tight hug.

“(Bf/n)! I’m so glad you came!” You replied just as enthusiastically. You’d been friends with them since high school right through college to now but your different lives had pulled you away from one another until now. The sense of slightly nervousness had quickly begun to fade as excitement replaced it, racing through your veins.

It hadn’t taken long for the other people to arrive at the diner and soon there was joyous laughter and conversation much like it had been before the end of college. It had been a few hours now and eventually one of the other friends had suggested you all head over to their place to continue the evening seeing as they still lived in Derry. So that’s what you were doing. Once outside the diner, you had all begun to walk down the street in the direction of the house and that was when it hit you. The balloon. You spun on your heel to see if it was still there but there was no sign of the blown up red latex. You decided it must have blown away or someone had taken it.

“(Y/n)?” One of your friends asked, snapping you out of your thoughts once more. You turned back to the group and smile.

“Sorry, I was distracted.” You assured. They laughed and started talking about how you hadn’t changed and the balloon was once again forgotten.

At some point when all of you had made it to the house and settled down, one of your friends had suggested a silly game of truth or dare as you had all played together in college as a joke. You had decided to play it safe for the most part, answering truths no matter how embarrassing or stupid they were. But truth be told, you were bored of this tactic and you knew the others were too. So when it was your turn to choose you went with the opposite option to your most comfortable.

“Woah, I was beginning to think you were gonna be a party pooper!” (Bf/n) teased and you lightly punched their arm.

“Shut up.” You said half-heartedly but a smile had worked it’s way onto your face. However, you weren’t so sure you liked the smile that had slowly crept onto your friend’s face. It was almost sinister.

“Now I’m gonna give you a difficult dare because it’s your first one.”

You swallowed and shifted in your seat.

“Try me.”

“Fine. I’ll give some back story first or it’ll not make sense. You all know the history of Derry, of all the events and disappearances that happen every twenty-seven years. Some say this town is cursed but then I heard something, something about a clown that lives in the sewers.” They paused. Everyone was silent save for the sound of rain and distant thunder outside. “Survivors of him say he eats children, feeding off their fear and then hibernates for twenty-seven years. And hey, wouldn’t you know, it’s twenty-seven years since he last caused havoc.” Your friend said and a louder rumble of thunder shook you all. You bit your lip for a moment.

“What’s this got to do with me?” You asked quietly. They smirked.

“Oh yeah, I forgot I was daring you. Basically, you’re gonna go and find that clown and you’re gonna give him a big ol’ kiss cuz I doubt he’s ever got any action in the time he’s been here.” They finished off more light-hearted. However, Your stomach dropped and you shivered.

“Are fucking nuts? How and why would I go and find a clown that eats kids just to kiss him?! What if he kills me?!” You shrieked but they rolled their eyes at you.

“Don’t be silly, you’ll be fine. We’ll come with you and make sure he doesn’t hurt ya.” They said confidently but now you were terrified out of your skin. You turned to look at one of the others but they don’t seem as phased as you. One of the others sneered.

“Come on (y/n), are you gonna chicken out?” They taunted. You gritted your teeth.

“No. I’ll do it.” You spat bitterly. You couldn’t have known what this would mean for you. But you were going to find out.

Okay I hope you all liked that. Not really any Pennywise in this one but he will make an appearance in the next one when the reader descends into the sewers to find him. I’ll start on part two but in the mean time, let me know what you all think!

Reggie Mantle x Reader : Call Me Daddy

A/N: implied/slight smut, swearing and garbage grammar:D

“Call me Daddy.” He demanded as he stood over me, his body nearly pressed against my own while I laid on my bed.

“My dude… What?” I asked in disbelief. ‘What the fuck is this dude smoking?’

He grunted, almost annoyed by me. Flopping down beside me, he repeated his “command”.  

“I said, call me Daddy.” I started busting up, I couldn’t believe it. I could not believe my ears. I was shooketh. ‘My baby boy is kinky as fuuuuuuck!!’

“HAHAHA!! I’m so weak, dude! I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff.” I smiled cheerily and patted his tummy. ‘That’s not even a tummy, that’s a fucking washboard. I should bring my laundry next time I come over while he’s taking a bath.’

“Shut up and just say it.” He groaned, grabbing a pillow and using it to cover his face. “Don’t tell me to shut up, you dickhead.” I slapped his belly, making him roll around in mock pain.

“I’m sorry, just… please? Call me Daddy, babe.”

“Nope!” I replied, popping the ‘p’. He pouted and I grabbed his cheeks, smooshing his handsome face. “I am the Kink Master, you gotta bring more to the table than just a small ‘please’ and calling me by my favorite pet name, bubby.”

“Baby girl, pleeeease? I promise it’s just this one time. Just one time and that’s it, I’ll never ask you again.” He begged, rubbing his face into my stomach. I started giggling and shoved him off my bed. A big thud resounded through my room and downstairs.

“You kids okay up there?” I heard my mum yell from the kitchen downstairs.

“Yeah, we’re good mumma!” I yelled back and I heard her giggle and mutter something to my dad, making him laugh a little.

Reggie propped his head on the edge of my bed and tilted his head cutely at me, batting his lashes. ‘Awww, what a cutie!’

“That tickled, you dork! Hmm…” I teased and stuck my tongue out at him. “Please, babe? I promise I’ll do anything you ask for a week.”


“Yes! Anything!”

“Make it a month.”

“…Fuck it, yes. Whatever, deal.” He groaned while I delivered the dance of Y/N’s Success.

“Oooh, let’s go to Pop’s then! I’m dying for a chocolate milkshake.” I hopped off my bed and pulled on my shoes.

“Y/N, come on!” He groaned again. I rolled my eyes and patted his shoulder. “I gotta see you commit, baby boy. Let’s go! Chop chop!”

“Fine, at least give me a kiss,” I gave him a quick peck before he could grab me and drag the kiss further, ”and promise me you’ll do it-”

“Yeah, yeah definitely! Now let’s GOOOOOOO!!” I yelled, tugging his arm towards the stairs and to the front door so we could get milkshakes. ‘Ugh, I’m dying c'mon Reggie work with me.’

~~~~~~~~~~time skippo~~~~~~~~~~~

“What’s wrong, honey?” I asked, he hasn’t said a word since he drove here. ‘He’s probably mad, thinking I won’t hold my end of the deal.’

“Nothing, just drink your milkshakes.” He spat out, looking back out the window and ignoring me. I glared at him and kicked his leg, but he didn’t seem to show any signs that it hurt… or that he even felt it.

Thirty minutes and five milkshakes later, he still hasn’t spoken to me. “Hmm…” Popping a few more cherries into my mouth, I notified the slab of concrete that sat across from me that I was finished.

He paid the bill and grabbed my hand, leading me out of the small diner.

“Reginald…” His grip on my hand softened, slowly intertwining our fingers together. He looked down at me with a straight face and said nothing. I stared back up at him, attempting to pull off that cute doe-eyed pout. His face showed nothing, like he wasn’t affected and turned his attention from me to straight ahead.

‘Tch… What a bum.’ I mentally stomped my foot.

Thoughts ran through my mind until one of them hit me hard. ‘He DEFINITELY still wants me to call him Daddy.’ Conjuring up a plan, I smirked evilly to myself. ‘I’m gonna get him good. Let’s make this count, I got one shot.’

I stopped walking, hoping he’d do the same. Luckily, he did. He looked back at me, his perfect eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Sighing, I let go of his hand and stood right against him. Running my hands up his chest, I looked up at him through my eyelashes with half-lidded eyes and a small smile. His stoic expression broke slightly, a little smirk playing on his lips. ‘I can hear his heartbeat lmao… did I just say ‘lmao’ in my head?’

Reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck, I stood on the tips of my toes. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me tightly against him. ‘Tall ass giant, gosh! I love this, man!’

I leaned in closer to him and kissed up the side of his neck on his cheek towards his ear, leaving a little trail of light pink chapstick on his skin. Hearing him sigh and feeling him nuzzle his face into the crook of my neck, I had him. Right. Where. I. Wanted. Him.

Placing one last kiss on his soft cheek, I leaned in and whispered into his ear.

“Thank you for tonight… I love you, Daddy.”

A sharp intake of air. His grip tightened. And… wetness?

I pulled away to look at him, only to find myself fully wrapped up in his arms.

“Reggie? Are you okay, baby?” All I got was a nod in response. Letting out a little sigh, I rubbed my nose against his chest, breathing in his strong scent. ‘His cologne is so damn delicious! Fuck me up for Eternity, Calvin Klein!’

I was pulled from my thoughts as I felt our bodies swaying. All of a sudden, my legs were off the ground and I was soaring against the wind. ‘Is this dude really spinning me around in circles?’

“REGGIE! OH MY GOSH, PLEASE PUT ME DOWN! WHAT’S HAPPENING?!” I could barely get out any words, I was giggling so much. I felt so free and light in his arms.

“I can’t believe it!”

“What? That I said Daddy?” He shook his head no and placed his forehead against mine, his hands encasing my face while he swiped his thumb against my cheek.

“You said you love me, Y/N.”

“…And you’re crying because?” I asked, entirely amused and taken away from his insanely adorable reaction.

“Because the girl of my dreams loves me back.” He gave me the biggest grin ever and lifted me off the ground into the tightest hug I’ve ever received.

“I love you, baby girl. Forever and always for all eternity, Y/N.” I snorted and hugged him back.

“Stop, that was so gross.” He scoffed and pretended to throw me, causing me to latch tighter onto him.

“Whatever, you only wish you said it.”

“Nah, I wish I stayed at Pop’s and ordered more cherries.”

“Speaking of cherries, you wanna…?” And he makes a *pop* sound with his lips and gives me the biggest shit-eating grin ever. ‘He’s so handsome… Ugh, such a dope.’

“Reginald, do you WANT to lose your balls?”

“Nah, I’d rather have you lose your virginity to me tonight.”

“You’re so gross! Yuck!”

“Ohh, says the ‘Kink Master’!”

“Damn right, lil boy!”

“You won’t be screaming that tonight.”

“Really now? What will I be screaming then?” He wiggled his eyebrows at me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I rolled my eyes back and gave my best porn-star impression.

“Oh, Daddy! Please fuck me! Fuck me hard and good with your monster cock! Punish me, Daddy! I’ve been such a naughty, dirty girl! Daddy- OH SHIT REGGIE!! WAIT!!” He picked me up and hauled me over his shoulder, like I was a sack of potatoes. ‘I’m a cute potato though.’

“NOPE! WE’RE GOING TO MY PLACE. IMMEDIATELY. WE’RE DOING THIS, BABY.” Groaning, I just hung there on his shoulder not protesting against his ‘wishes’.

“Reggie… would you wait to have sex after marriage?” He tapped my bum and let out a big laugh.

“Oh, you wanna marry me?” He said in a teasing voice. I rolled my eyes and propped my elbow against his rock hard shoulder blade and perched my chin on my hand.

“Well. I mean. If we last that long, I mean… yeah. We’ve been together since forever and I can’t really see myself in the future without you by my side.” I finished, softly smiling back at him. He laughed and shook his head, his luscious hair swaying just urging me to tug on it.

“But, maybe… maybe in the heat of the moment, maybe. I don’t know.” I sighed in defeat. “And you call me gross, you little twerp. I’m not a virgin, so that question was irrelevant for me.” I pouted and smacked his butt. He jokingly let out a small ‘ow’ and slapped my ass. Hard. As. Fuck. “SHIT! MY ASS CHEEK FELL OFF, I CAN’T FEEL IT!” Reggie started cracking up and patted my bum, trying to ease the pain or some shit. ‘Imma get this fool… imma get him gooood.’

“Ahhhh! Daddy, stop teasing me!” I moaned out.

“Shit, babe. You gonna use that against me now?”

“Nah. Issa special thang, sweet boy! I ain’t abusing the 'Daddy’ kink. I’ll only use it when it’s just me and you.” He peered over his shoulder and gave me that little smirk that I love so much. Finally, he reached his car and gently placed me into the passenger seat and buckled me in. 'Well shit, he really is Daddy Material. How lucky am I?’

Reggie clambered into the driver’s seat and revved out of the diner’s parking lot, (making our way downtown) continuing our way to his house. 'Something’s gonna happen… I can feel it.’

~~~~~~~~~time skippo~~~~~~~~~

He kicked the door to his huge penthouse, I mean bedroom, open and plopped me right on his king-sized mattress. I starfished my body over the soft comforter of his bed and made blanket angels. Gah dang! This blanket is softer than the one he had last weekend!

“Honestly, I’m just glad I finally got you to say it. It sounds so good coming from you.”

“Reginald…” I warned, he flopped into the sleep mattress right next to me and I rolled over laying my head on his chest.

“I swear on Archie’s ginger soul, if you brag about this to the football team I will take that pretty face of yours-”

“H-Hey! I’m not gonna do that-”

“…And sit on it and make you do lewd things to me.” 'Holy damn, so much for waiting after marriage! Hormones, dafuq we doin?’

“B-Babe, stop talking like that.” He stuttered out and sat up. I got up and laid my head on his shoulder. 'So buff, so sweet… I love him so much.’

“Like what, daddy?” I looked up at him, batting my eyelashes and pursing my lips into a small pout.

“Y/N, you can stop with the daddy thing.” He visibly gulped, his Adam’s apple catching my attention and I placed a light, feathery kiss on his throat. 'Longest neck ever… I wanna bite it’ But, I decided against my thoughts and redirected myself to the task at hand.

“But Daddy, I don’t wanna stop. I want you to touch me.” I took his hand and placed it in between my legs right over my heat. “Here.” Taking his other hand, I placed it against my chest. “And here.”

“Y/N, you just said you wanted to wait-” He struggled, removing his big warm hands from my body.

“But, daddy… You said you’d do anything I want.” I whined. Crawling onto him and sitting on his lap, I placed a light kiss on his thick, beautiful lips. Slowly grinding down against him, he let out a small moan as he bucked his hips against me, making me smile shyly up at him.

“Don’t you want to play with me?” His gaze on me grew darker with lust. ‘Gotcha babe…’

He instantly had me in his arms, pulling me into a long, deep kiss that quickly turned into a heated make-out. I let out a few tiny moans as his hands ran up and down my sides until they wandered, one hand gripping my waist as the other firmly grasped my ass. (a/n: firmly grasp it!)

I gasped and he slipped his tongue into my mouth. ‘This is new… hm.’ His tongue probed my mouth, our tongues soon fighting against each other for dominance. I let him win and he rubbed his tongue against mine, our teeth clashing against each other as we parted for air only to delve right back into each other. The man of my affections gripped my thighs, flipping me over onto my back.

His body rolled smoothly down against mine, grinding his hard on against me. I let out a tiny whimper and trailed my fingertips under his shirt, tracing his abs. I decided to tease him and dragged my fingers down to the waistband of his pants and palmed his front. He released an animalistic growl and gave me a lip-bruising kiss and bit my bottom lip. I wrapped my arms around his neck, tugging on his hair and he let out a deep groan against my mouth. Breaking away, a small string of saliva hung from both our mouths. I swiped a hand at it and wiped my hand on his shirt.

“Ewwwie!” He chuckled and cuddled me closer to his hot body. It was hot, the room was hot as hell.

“Why are you so cute, babe? Like damn.” I blushed and hid my face against his massive chest.

“I don’t know, the fuck kind of question is that?” Reggie let out a big laugh and rubbed my head, threading his fingers through my hair. 'My hair is tangled and it hurts, but I ain’t gonna say nothing.’

We both reveled in each other’s warmth and laid back down on his bed. 'FUCK! These blankets are so damn soft!’

Reggie and I just lied there in comfortable silence, until it finally dawned on me.

“You know… This was the first time I ever made out with someone.” I confessed.

“Wait… Really? I thought you made out with Moose that one time when we played Seven Minutes In Heaven at Cheryl’s party. Your hair and dress was messed up and your lips were hella swollen.” I rolled my eyes.

“First, yuck. It’s Moose, I wouldn’t even dare let him touch me. He’s an assbutt.” I pouted, folding my arms and pushing away from him.

“Secondly, me and Moose were literally fighting in that room, trying to get you guys to think that we were 'getting it on’.” Reggie shook his head and held his hand against his mouth to keep himself from laughing out loud.

“Pfft haha… Wait, you were able to land some punches on Moose? You gremlin, what’d you do that for?” He nudged me and urges me to answer him. I puffed out my cheeks and looked him dead in the eye. “Yeah, because I wanted to be able to say that I’ve fought a moose in a closet before.”

He stared back into my eyes and a smile broke out on his face, “That’s adorable.” 'No. YOU’RE adorable.’

“Shut up, Reggie.”

“Make me.”

“Sweetie pie. Honey bun. Sugar booger. Baby boy~ Mantle The Magnificent~” I pestered the man baby, poking his buff body. “Okay, okay! You got me.” He laughed, lightly swatting my hands away from him.

“Damn right, my chubby boy!” He groaned and tickled my side. I screamed and rolled away from him again. “Well, this chubby boy thinks that for your first time making out you are a fucking pro. Damn, it was so hard to stop… LITERALLY HARD TO STOP!” He exclaimed, pointing at the huge tent in his jeans.

“Doesn’t that hurt?!” I squealed, hiding under his comforter. He let out a huge sigh and flopped back on the bed.

“Yeah duh! What the hell am I gonna do now?”

“May I suggest lotion?” I chirped and received that 'really bruh?’ look from him.

“Hmph… You’re lucky I forgot to buy some more condoms, I swear I would’ve popped that ass so hard right now.”

“REGGIE! SHUT THE FUCK UP! GROSSSS!” I yelled in embarrassment. My face was burning even more and I completely hid myself under the blanket. 'Good thing his parents ain’t home, damn!’

“Babe, come on! I was just kidding! I’ll just get blue balls, it’s no big deal!”

“Reggie, what the hell?! I can’t let you get blue balls! That’s fucking dangerous, you dumb ass! Quit being so nonchalant about this! YOUR! DICK! IS! HARD!” I yelled while pointing at this pants and all he did was smirk at me.

“Then, do something about it.” He left a lingering kiss on the side of my neck and whispered in my ear, “…Baby girl.”

“Fine then.” I gritted my teeth and got up from the bed and locked the door and dimmed the lights.

“Y/N, we don’t have to-” He uttered, but I beat him to it.

“Daddy.” He shut up real quick and sat on the edge of his bed, a look of confusion plastered on his face probably wondering where I’m going with this.

“I’ll make you feel good. I’m sorry I’ve been such a nuisance all night.” Giving him a wink and hoping he’d play along. He smirked and curled his fingers at me, beckoning me to come to him. I took slow steps towards, swaying my hips and playing with the hem of my t-shirt. He licked his lips and hungrily stared me down. 'Err… Up? I dunno, he’s just directly staring at me, lemme do somethin’

I stood right in front of him and peeled my thin shirt off, never breaking eye contact with Reggie. I felt my body flush against his touch as he pulled me closer and kissed my tummy and placed a wavering kiss on my bra. 'Ayeeeee! Issa good thang I wore lace today, hoe!’ I tilted my head back and ran my hands through his silky hair and pulled his head back. “Aghhh! Shit, girl, that feels so good!” I laughed and kissed his forehead. “You’re so fucking silly, daddy… I really am sorry that I turned you on 'too much’.” With that said, I left kisses down his chest and beautifully sculpted abs and got on my knees, keeping eye contact with him on the way d o w n. 'Damn hoe, am I good? Or am I g o o d? Can’t even tell I’m a virgin because I’m a gahdamn pro!! …Genji, oh my gosh shutthefuckup me!’

“It’s alright, my little kink master. I’m sure we can find something to fix it.” I blushed at his use my self-proclaimed title, my fingers fumbling with the zipper of his pants, I pulled them down and met his 'friend’. I looked at my man and back at what hid beneath his boxers, licking my lips and giving Reggie the same cute smile I’ve been giving him all night and got us into this current… situation.

“Okay, daddy~”


A/N: and now im scarred after writing this. this is so cringey and scattered reader is supposed to be a tomboy, but i guess her damned hormones got to her and made her submit to Mantle the Magnificent’s charms and wiles *barf barf* yo, the last line gmfu reminding me of baby Dory fml😂😂😂

Sorry it’s so shitty, anyways I’ll still be updating “Let Me Explain” and “Finding A Date” probably by the end of this week. If not, they’ll be posted both either next Sunday or Monday. If you got any requests for those next two chapters for either of them, message me or something

Love y'all and thanks for reading this shit!!💕
Winner Announcement of Butter Week

“It͝ ap̸pe̴ars̨ but̀ter ẁee̵k̢ has͏ ̀ŗeáche̶d its̴ t́ime҉ly ̸end͏. ̕Bu̸t no͟t ͟to͡ ͞fear! ̷A͢ ͜w̛i̴nnęr ́w̸i̕l͢l͟ ̡rec̵ei͏ve̴ ́the̵i͡r҉ ̡p̸ri̶ze͢ ͞t̢od̷a̡y!͟"̸ Anti grinned, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes as he held his beloved butter knife close to his chest, staring out at his audience proudly.

“҉First̢, ̷lȩt̵ ͞m͏e ju͡st͠ than̶k͢ evȩr҉yone ̷w̧h̢o͝ ͢p͟a̢r͜ticipat͢ed̕,͏ a̸s t̛her͘e ͟wèr̀e͠ ҉a̸l͝mo̡s̵t͘ ̢t̀o͏o ͟ma͝n̕y ͟to ͟ac̨count ͝f͞oŕ. ҉I͘t̡ ͟e̶n͏d̕ed͟ u̢p being͏ so͡ ̵m̡uc̵h̢ b̷u̧tter̴ ́t̷han ͞ex̕pec͘te͡d. ̶Befo͜r͠e҉ I ͡c̕o̶n͟gr҉a̧t͞u͝ļate͏ ͠the͘ ͘w̴in̴n͘e͝r, h̀e̴r҉e̸ ̀are ̶t̀h̛e̵ runn̢er-́up̧s͏;̕”


You sound so in-salted in you recent post. Buddy, you butter believe we’re here to spread the word on these butter puns. I can’t believe you would doubt us, your little butter pats. I hope this doesn’t curdle our relationship with you.


You butter watch out, you butter not cry, you butter not pout or you’re gonna die, cause Anti’s gonna stab you with his knifeeeee


there’s a girl who wanted to make you a kick ass cake, butter lack of time meant she couldn’t. She wanted it to be perfect if she made it, leaving no margarine for error. There was some time off work coming up soon and she’d be able spread her time more carefully. Perhaps she could make you that cake after all!


*dabs into room holding knives* sUP FUCKERS WHO WANTS TO GET BUTTERED


*looks at butter* nice. *looks at margarine* cheap imitator..


🎶* Strums sadly on a guitar, singing * I can only eat margarine. It’s all I can do. ‘Cause I can’t eat, butter. Or butter substitute. * Strums louder * I CAN ONLY EAT MARGARINE, YEAH-EAHHH-YEAH, I CAN ONLY EAT MARGARINEEEEEEEE~!!!!! 🎶 -back and butter than ever

“͜Thąn͘k̢ y̷ou͟ ru͝nner̸-͏u͝ps͘,͏ ͠y̧ou̢ ma̧dȩ ̡it n͘e̵a͡r̡ly̴ t̢o̴o̢ ̀di͝ff͟i̷c̕ul̷t ͜t͜o choo̧se͏.͟ ̡But t͟hr̵o͡u̴gh̷ ͘all͝ ͠o͟f ͘t̴hi͘s, ͢there ̵was̶ a̛ ͞ce̛rtai͜n @my-d̵a̛ŗk̢-w͞or̡dş wh̡o̢ ̵ta҉bled͠ th͡e ͏túr̨n͜s̕ ̵th͠is b̕u͠tter ͘we̴ek. ̀T̛he̡i͝r͞ p̵os̵t͞ i͟s a͡s̴ ͝fol̴lows͘;”

A figment whose name I won’t utter, Who turns human hearts all aflutter. Caused his host some strife…By pushing a knife…Through his neck like it was just butter.

“A s͡h̛ou͢tout ͞t͢o͢ ̀y̕o̧u̶!̡~͘ ̡P͟lea͠se̵ every͝o̷n̵e go̕ fo͟ll̶o̢w͜ @my-dark-words f̷oŕ ͝their am̵azi̴n͠g̶ bu͘t̴ter͠y ta̷len̡ts҉… And ̵ǹow.̸.̡.̧Her̵e i̕s t̷heir p̵ŗi͟z͢e.͜..͝.҉”̡

anonymous asked:

Who are people you ship Lee Jordan? What headcanons do you have for them?

lemme tell ya about how much i love Fred x Lee my sweet sweet anon:

- so Fred George met Lee clearly on their first day of hogwarts. 

- at the Gryffindor table right after the sorting Fred and George come and sit on either side of lee and introduce themselves with identical grins and then start with the witty banter (and making fun of percy)

- Lee is sitting there laughing the whole time (and feeling really special that these two larger than life non-stop people have decided that he is gonna be their friend)

- on the first night at Hogwarts they are all super buzzed cause W o W there is a whole freaking castle to explore and because of that there must be a heck load of mischief to get up to

- in their first class they bust in late all three of them: Fred with an (apparently) apologetic grin, George with a terribly repressed smirk and Lee with a crooked smile 

- (this is one of the only times they get away with it because ‘we are so sorry sir we got lost’ can actually be believable when it hasn’t been used every day of the week before) 

- within the week Lee can tell the twins apart (finally there was to be no more “haha we gotcha i’m actually Fred”) 

- basically their friendship keeps growing and growing as friendships do 

- then one day someone asks Lee how he’s so good at telling the twins apart and he stops and thinks for a second cause really he can’t quite put his finger on it

- he tries to explain the subtle differences in appearance to the person inquiring but he’s distracted by how they both ‘feel’ different 

- George was like squinted eyes of concentration,and burst of laughter, and being always prepared to either hug you or kill someone for you 

- and Fred was (wow) Fred was just completely different he was fast and passionate talk (that would always make butterflies erupt in Lee’s stomach), and prideful ‘dare me to’ eyes (that always made Lee’s heart lurch), and utter faithfulness, the kind of person you would trust with your life (which Lee obviously would without hesitation) 

- and shit was Lee in love with his best friend? (one of them anyway)

- then later that week in the common room Fred is sitting there staring at Lee’s hands (cause gosh they are gorgeous) and he decides it’s about time that he talks about this mega crush cause it’s eating him alive and cause it’s the Fred Weasley thing to dive head first into everything he says “hey Georgie, mate, ever think you might have a semi-thing for Lee? cause ya know I’d relate.” 

- George doesn’t even look up from what he’s doing to respond “mate, I don’t but I freaking know you do” completely chill about it (even though inside he is screaming ‘FINALLY’ and is super happy cause he knew all of last’s weeks talks about Lee’s love life and offering to find him a quality love interest the week before had perhaps kicked Fred’s sorry ass into a realisation about his feelings) 

- at first Fred is all like ‘why didn’t you say something?’ and then ‘wait.. George do you think he likes me back?’

- and George sighs the biggest sigh and gives Fred the most deadpan, tired look and says “of freaking course he does and in fact i’m getting bloody sick of the two of you pretending like you’re not utterly head over heels for each other so please, brother dear for the sake of, what’s left of, my sanity - piss off and do something about it.” 

- Fred just stares for a moment at George, then summons his courage (cause if he’s gonna ask out Lee it’s gonna be smooth), and walks over to Lee who is trying to actually do his transfiguration homework (and because of that he has to be located a strategic few feet away from the twins) 

- Lee sees Fred coming out of the corner of his eye and his stomach erupts (as usual) and he thinks okay today I’m gonna tell him cause I’m damned sick of all of this, he properly looks up from his essay when Fred sits down on the couch beside him and is met with a pointed smirk from the red-head

-”hey Lee, do you think I’m cute?” and Lee is like well this is not what I was expecting (and of course I think you are cute are you crazy?), but frick how do I respond to this, and then he catches a glimpse at George doing frantic miming that seemed to heavily involve a heart shape and kissy faces and Lee thinks what the hell (sure as hell hoping George doesn’t think that it’s some kind of joke)

- “Actually Fred I’ve always thought of you as some one who was more.. unbelievably sexy.” 

- Fred almost blows his smooth demeanor with a mixture of laughter and shock (and also sheer giddiness cause - Lee thinks he’s sexy!?) 

- “Wow… um, good, so since we got that cleared up, did you want to maybe go out on a date sometime?” 

- and of course Lee says yes 

- and of course they celebrate with a kiss (which seriously was worth the wait but also at the same time not at all cause as Fred will often point out they had wasted a lot of time not-kissing when they were ‘just friends’) 

- and of course after they kiss Fred returns to his twin a little pink in the face with the widest grin and says “Hey Georgie. Just saying - Lee thinks I’m the better looking twin.”

(and I got fully carried away and could write another entire thing about how they are freaking adorable in a relationship but I shall stop (for now…))

anonymous asked:

Do you think Oliver is going to confess everything to Felicity in 5x20? Not just his torture at the hands of Chase, but possibly everything that's happened to him during the five years he was away? Do you think he might even tell Felicity just how his father really died? You know now that I think about it, to this very day, I don't believe Oliver has ever told her about that. Nevertheless, I really do believe this will go a long way toward helping Oliver overcome his darkness for good.

Here’s the key with this “I like to kill” revelation. It encapsulates all of Oliver’s secrets, pain, guilt and shame into one singular statement. I don’t need a laundry list of Oliver being honest with Felicity about everything from his past. If he confesses THIS then that’s all that matters to me because THIS is what Oliver is the most ashamed of. This is what has been eating at him. This is what causes the self destruction. This is what he fears the most. This is the one thing he didn’t want to face. This is where all the other bad choices stem from. HE. IS. A. MONSTER. That is what he believes. This is his darkness and it has a name. Arrow is getting up to bat and taking a swing at the whole shebang in this one secret and it is MORE than enough to initiate healing within Oliver and his relationship with Felicity. That’s what makes it so genius.

My general assumption when it comes to the flashbacks is that as things are revealed to the audience then they are no longer secrete from Diggle and Felicity, but that’s just my own personal head canon. I am actually quite sure Felicity knows how Oliver’s father died. He revealed that to Diggle back in Season 1, so I’m pretty sure by now Felicity has been looped it.

Not Again (Pt. 2) || Cheryl Blossom

Originally posted by suirisblack

Requested : A lot of people (not really just like 4 or 5 people lmao) requested a part 2 for Not Again, so here it is! This is basically the thoughts of the reader while she’s having a a panic attack from realizing that she has a date with Cheryl

[A/N] : I didn’t proof read this, so if theres a mistake between the use of ‘I’ and ‘You’ please message me and I’ll fix it immediately.


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Unknowingly A Tease

Summary - Jeon Jungkook is a teasing piece of shit and he doesn’t even realize it.or
Min Yoongi has a strength kink that kinda sorta only comes out when Jungkook is around and he would really like to bang Jungkook.

Genre - Fluff and Smut

A/N - Thank you to my girlfriend who helped me out a bit and also made me rly happy about part of this AAAA Enjoy! I take requests!

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2017.07.12 Entry

Spiritual awakening.

That’s something what I’ve been experiencing in the recent months myself. I have to admit that the first few months I’ve been heavily concerned and anxious, constantly wondering what is wrong with me, why is that I feel like I’m unable to find my ground. I was constantly running in a fear, that I’m overseeing something about myself, that something’s not the same with me. It especially become apparent as I noticed that I grew out of a few things and that I no longer feel towards them the same.  I grew to realize that my body is preparing me for something else, and it’s giving me the signs. Not also that, but and also telling me to look around, look around myself, to understand why is all of that happening. I started to feel complete opposite of myself. I have become more in touch with the universe. 

Just in case if anyone’s wondering, what is Spiritual Awakening, and how do you know that it’s something what you are experiencing. Be prepared that it comes in the various signs and all of them may not apply to you, only a couple of them.

  1. Your sleep hours change. I was used to being a night owl. I could stay up all night and wake up somewhere in the afternoon. But I noticed that my body has found another time. I have become now a morning bird and I go to the bed around 11pm. 
  2. Headaches, temple pressures. Sometimes all out of nowhere you may also find yourself struck with the ideas and can’t stop brainstorming them. It’s as if the second breath and two muses are in a game. You can also feel the vibrations in your ears and somewhere around your head. If you are feeling all of those, don’t be scared. Your Crown chakra is opening. 
  3. Mood swings. You feel like you are on a constant rollercoaster. One second you can feel like you’re tearing up, the next moment you are happy and there’s no worries around you, and the following.. you’re angry about the things and you feel like everything’s going to explode. Sometimes you can also become lonely without any reason and catch yourself thinking “I have everything - why do I feel that way?”. The feelings that you’ve been blocking earlier are now resurfacing into the surface. Let all of them go with the love. Forgive yourself. 
  4. Old problems come back. Perhaps old people as well. Sometimes that can cause confusion. Face them. It’s your uncomplete karma lessons that will keep resurfacing until you’re done with them. You need to cleanse yourself.
  5. Your physical body may begin changing. Your eating habits may become more healthy.
  6. You are more sensitive than ever. It’s just because your sixth sense is opening so you’re open to the energies and also becoming more empathetic towards the people. You may also begin to see auras or lights around people or objects, you may get blurry vision from time to time, dry or itch eyes, or catch glimpses of sparkles. Sometimes you may also hear voices in your head, someone whispering or calling out your name. You can also feel the weird buzzing in your ears, interesting smells or a feeling that someone’s near you. Those are also the signs that are being sent by your guides or guardian angels. Don’t be scared of them. But also make sure that they don’t cross any boundaries. You can also ask for their help in healing.
  7. You begin to watch the world in completely different eyes. You see the love and oneness. You let it all happen the way it’s supposed. You become more forgiving and loving as much as it’s possible for you. Don’t eat yourself from a bad day and remember that tomorrow is the next day and you can make it better. Become more understanding and gentle with yourself.
  8. Be more courageous and don’t be afraid to clean up the old to replace it with the new habits and interests.
  9. You may also begin to spot many signs that you feel are talking to you in some volumes. They’ll be very necessary for you to help your subconscious grow. 
  10. Things may begin synchronize. You may begin to spot the same numbers (11:11, 23:23, 12:12, 13:13, etc.). Look up on the internet to see what kind of a message your angels are sending out. But most of the time it is telling you that you are on the right path. All the people and other synchronizities that you meet on your road are connected to your minds. 
  11. You may also begin to feel the constant growth of your nails and hair. 
  12. At the beginning you may get unreasonable diarrhea, begin throwing up, temperature, your heart pressure or rate may increase. You can also bump into the illnesses from the childhood that you have never completely healed. Hot/cold flashes. Sometimes you may also feel the pressure in your chest area. This is how your body is cleaning.
  13. Your eyes are changing, face color, smell. Your wrinkles may also become less apparent. You may begin to appear younger than you actually are, grow in the height, and it doesn’t matter of how old you are.
  14. Sometimes you can feel the itching or as if the electricity coursing through you into your fingers and palms. You may also find it troubling to touch the things from the metal.
  15. Dreams. You can begin to dream very bright and colorful dreams which make you feel like you are in a real world. You can also dream the deceased beloved ones or completely unknown people/places. Use the journal to write down as much of a dream you can remember and try to connect them to one, and what kind of message your subconscious are informing you of.
  16. You may no longer feel  hungry as much as you used to. You may even feel the need to begin working out or become more physically active. You hardly get tired.
  17. You may be constantly thirsty, feel the need to drink a lot of water. 
  18. Sometimes you feel like nobody can hear you, no one can see you, and that you are isolated/excluded from the group of your friends and family. 
  19. You begin to watch into the world as if you’ve seen it all in the movie before. You know how all of it has begun and how it may all end, but you can’t say anything. 
  20. You know when someone’s lying to you, and when they are not.

We lose our energy when:

  • We say yes, although our insides feel like they’re saying “no”.
  • We’re smiling when we’d rather cry.
  • We’re saying that nothing has happened since we don’t want a conflict instead of explaining things in a rational way.
  • We’re feeling miserable, and we forgot to ask ourselves: “What’s the cause of all this and what’s standing in the way of me being happy?”
  • We’re silently hurting instead of asking the other person of what we expect/want from them.
  • We’re interpreting other person’s actions/words and are silently miserable, instead of asking of what did they have in the mind.
  • We’re spending our time talking about nothing, talking about one behind their back and being disgusted of the politics, educational system, bad personal, instead of remembering something what made us happy.
  • Noticing that there’s nothing left between us and the other in common, but we’re still trying to hold onto them because we’re used to them.
  • We’re trying to pretend to be someone else instead of how we truly are.
  • We have too many expectations.
  • We care more about the other people’s opinions instead of us.
  • We keep people in our lives who constantly blame the others for what’s happening in their world.
  • We talk to the people who are skeptic and don’t believe in us.
  • We’re thinking and talking about other people’s lives instead of our own.
  • Again and again, we constantly talk to everyone of what’s something bad what has happened into our lives and who has hurt us. 
  • Constantly hoping that one day we will feel much happier.
  • We don’t know how to plan the time, we raise unreal expectations ourselves and then we guilt ourselves that we didn’t live to them.
  • We’re constantly eating ourselves when do the same mistakes over and over again, instead of telling ourselves gently that the first 15 years of our lives are the hardest because we’re constantly learning.

We feel more alive when:

  • We talk to the people who share out interests. 
  • We talk to the people who make us look forward to, search about the things, help us broaden our horizons, make our hearts beat faster.
  • We learn something new.
  • We pray in our own words and from the heart.
  • We’re asking help from the universe and looking at the signs.
  • We meditate.
  • We practicing to be more thankful/begin writing a diary of the things that we’re feeling most thankful for.
  • We do a good job unexpectedly, unplanned, spontaneously.
  • We experience something new. 
  • We begin to doubt our own true.
  • We stop comparing ourselves to the others.
  • We no longer care what others may think about us.
  • We read books.
  • We follow our inner voice.
  • We do something what’s completely unusual to us. 
  • We do something creative.
  • We listen to the songs, lectures, movies that inspire us.
  • We stop ourselves saying something negatively and finish it on a more positive note.
  • We look at everything with a humor.
  • We create a comfortable atmosphere, by cleaning our house.
  • We learn how to relax.
  • We practice being here and right now.
  • We spend time in the silence.
  • We accept everything with the happiness.
  • We spend time with the people who encourage, trusts, support and believe in us.
  • We take care of our bodies.
  • We provoke ourselves.
  • We say no when we want to say no, and yes when we feel like saying yes.
  • We openly admit to ourselves when we were wrong before.
  • We practice healthy lifestyle.