catsm

Mum: *mentions Kate McKinnon*
Me (trying to act chill): Oh yeah yeah of course, Kate, sure shes the ghostbusters one yeah?
Mum: Yeah I saw something about her liking cats
Me: Yes she has a cat, she calls it her son, similar to how i call my cat my son, did you also know her cat’s name is Nino. Do you want to watch this video of all the moments she talks about her cat?

Tales From My Double Life

Scene: I’m over at a (non-kinky) friend’s house for a small gathering. We are playing with his two cats.

Me: *grabs mouse on a string and starts playing with/antagonizing cats

Me: *thinks of the fun I had as a kitty at MEEHU. Wants to tell friends about this but edit out all kinky context*

Me: So, I once went to a party where me and my friends took turns pretending to be cats.

Friend:…What?

Me: It was lots of fun! We chased a laser pointer around.

Friend: …Were you high?

Me: Err…no. It just seemed like a fun thing to do?

Friend: That’s weird.

Me: Yeah, I’m realizing as we speak right now that it sounds pretty weird. I enjoyed it at the time!

Friend: Huh. I once got so drunk at a party that….

Internet, I have no chill.