gotham rogues as scottish tweets
  • <p> <b>Harley Quinn:</b> realised how shite bein a girl is, spent half my life on a diet, bleeding or crying whilst boys just helicopter their nobs n call us psychos<p/><b>Scarecrow:</b> just seen a bird shoutin at her bairn to put his pants on then pointed at me sayin 'look the mans gonna steal ur willy' Wtf no am no<p/><b>Catwoman:</b> burd in the pub kept tellin everycunt her cat had thumbs n then we ended up in her gaff and shit u not that wee hing could beat u at Fifa<p/><b>Riddler:</b> a say "ano" a lot for somecunt that knows absolutely fuck all aboot anythin<p/><b>Two Face:</b> "huving one of they days" aye right man am huvin one of they lives<p/><b>Penguin:</b> aw a ever hink aboot is scran, swear tae fuck al be sittin eatin ma dinner n am hinkin what am i gonnae have after it<p/><b>Poison Ivy:</b> "u canny hate someone forever" aye a can watch me<p/><b>Joker:</b> reminder that JK Rowling a grown woman multi millionaire blocked me for calling her made up character in a book about wizards a specky cunt<p/><b>Mad Hatter:</b> im at the age where people r askin "so what u doin with ur life" n im like mate am genuinely jus here for a laff x<p/><b>Mr Freeze:</b> ye ever wanty just wrap yerself up in tinfoil nice and cosy and then just fucking get right inty the microwave and blow yersel up ta fuck<p/></p>
the signs as shit my sister says


taurus: “why is barbie white? i could be barbie.”

gemini: “why would i rob a 7-11? that’s just mean. i’m a villain not a monster.“

cancer: “low key wanna die, high key wanna cry”

leo: “if someone said to me ‘make friends with someone in 24 hours or you die’? i’d die.”

virgo: “justin timberlake looks like the kind of guy who falls in love on set”

libra: “i accidentally said hi to someone twice in less than a minute.”

scorpio: “and he was like PEW! PEW! ORANGES ORANGES!!!”

sagittarius: “i love cats. especially when they have thumbs.”

capricorn: “i used to think that cincinnati was a made-up place where villains lived” followed later by “what are they called, cincinnatians?”

aquarius: “lolzattack”

pisces: “how do you spell toque? is it T-U-K-E? oh no. that’s wrong”

Reasons Why Your Cat May be Peeing/Pooping Outside of the Litter Box



-> MEDICAL! Before you automatically assume your cat is peeing on your clothes because it is “mad” at you, TAKE YOUR CAT TO THE VET! There are SO many medical reasons why your cat is inappropriately eliminating. Your cat could have a UTI, it could be blocked (Is he straining to pee, peeing little bits all over, or screaming when he pees? THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!!!!!!!!!), it could have arthritis and can’t jump or move to wherever the box is anymore.  There could be kidney disease, endocrine disease (hyperthyroid, diabetes), GI disease, etc. PLEASE, if you cat is suddenly peeing or pooping outside of the box when it has never done that before, GO TO YOUR VET. 

-> Stress: Cats normally don’t pee out of “spite”, but they can surely pee out of stress. Stressers can be any sudden change, new baby/pet, moving, etc.

-> Litter Box Aversion: Whether it be the box itself, the type of litter, or the location, cats can have aversions to these things and decide to eliminate elsewhere. One important thing to remember here is to frequently clean your box! This is simple solution that is easy to forget! 

-> Unable to access a box: Similar to the one before, but some questions to ask: Can your cat get to the box? Are there multiple litter boxes if in a multi-cat household? (A rule of thumb I always heard of is 2 litter boxes plus 1 for every extra cat). Is there a dominant cat or dog that is preventing the cat from getting into or out of the box?

My list of favorite J.P. Rolling books:
  • Hammond Poobear and the Source of the Bone
  • Harold Porkrind and the Changer of Sneakers
  • Henry Potroast and the Poisoner of Alprazolam 
  • Hangry Plumbus and the Goblins for Hire
  • Harpy Pottery and the Hoarder of the Fetus
  • Hoary Palmtree and the Cat Thumb Prints
  • Horny Pastor and the Way He Swallows
  • Hearty Pundit and Mr. Ryan Styles 

anonymous asked:

Can you do 29 for the prompt list

Kara pushed the door open slowly, reverently, like she was entering a temple, like she might disturb the spirits still lingering there.

Part of her felt guilty for never returning her key. She planned to give it back to Eve plenty of times, but something in her just couldn’t. Now, she was glad she kept it. It made sneaking in that much easier. Not that she wouldn’t have found another way, because this — breaking into Cat’s empty condo — was all she had left, and the only thing worse than losing her completely was knowing she’d never get the chance to say goodbye. Not the way she wanted. Not how she would have if she knew the last time they were together would really be the last.

She kept tabs on her travels at first, tracing her movements on a map each day with her fingers, like they would somehow paint a picture that made sense of her decision to leave. After hearing nothing for weeks, she knew she needed to move on. She was restless in her absence, agitated, and it affected her work. Eventually she became less invested, distracting herself with other things, other people, losing track of exactly where in the world Cat had landed, until that was, news broke of the earthquake in Nepal.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Okay so now you make me want more model Yurio and Otabek fan girl headcanons so like if you have any more can you share?


  • so its off-season and yuri decides to take a modeling job offered to him bc fuck it, he’s super pretty and hes not going to refuse money for being pretty
  • its a v expensive fancy pansy clothing company too and thank god, the clothes that theyre advertising isnt going to make him look like a little fairy like he used to
  • he gon look like a MAN
  • he tells this to otabek and he’s super proud ofc like yes thats my super pretty best friend go yura
  • during the photo shoot yuri snapchats him throughout the day n sending him bits and pieces of the day, like his hairstyle the stylists did or all the makeup on their giant ass vanity
  • (side note he also snapchats the makeup pic to mila and shes like “stEAL SOME FOR ME” and hes like “fuck no” and steals some for himself instead)
  • hes not allowed to show the actual clothes tho which, fair, and it makes otabek rly curious and excited to see how the photos will come out
  • no its not bc he has a lowkey crush on yuri and hes 110% sure hes gonna look REALLY GOOD in fancy clothes
  • hes just,, hyped,, bc,,, thats his bff,,, and he wants to be supportive. thats it. thats all. anYWAY
  • both of them forget about it once the shoot’s over and they dont think abt it until the photos are published
  • yuri immediately sends him a copy of the magazine where the photos are in and otabek takes one look at the first pic and he knows. he knows he is fucked
  • like he already knew before that his best friend is attractive like. everyone can see that.
  • but jesus fucking christ you cant make him look at yuri in a three piece suit with his hair in a braided ponytail and enough eyeliner to make his eyes literally piercing and expect his crush on him to not go any worse than it already goddamn is
  • ‘what do you think??’ yuri texts him in the middle of his crush attack
  • ‘you look really handsome in them, yura.’
  • yuri sends him a bunch of happy cat emojis and thumbs ups and he leaves it at that bc hes still highkey freaking out
  • when he finds the photos posted online he saves all of them and makes his fav one his lockscreen
  • so now sometimes he goes to get his phone and doesnt even get to unlock it he just stares at his lockscreen for 10 minutes
  • hes got it Bad